singer of Modern Baseball spotted hanging out with the Millionaires; potentially jeopardizes tr00 credibility

Run For Cover’s Modern Baseball has quickly risen to the top of teen bloggers’ playlists across the nation within the last year, but according to these recent pictures that have surfaced on the internet, the singer may be leading a double life and isn’t as tr00 as we were led to believe…

modernbaseballsinger1

Ok, there must be some logical explanation for this… maybe Melissa is just a fan and they wanted to have their pictures taken with him? I mean, I saw a picture of her wearing a Man Overboard hoodie, so maybe she’s into that type of music? He seems like a nice guy who would take pictures with any fans, even if they made music that is trite, soulless and lacking substance… oh, god, wait… he’s wearing a Millionaires shirt. This may be worse than I thought…

pizzapartyWell, that’s pretty… pop punk? Does the pizza lose credibility when it’s being fed to you by the Millionaires?

hoverhandIs he hover-handing Allison’s thighs?

lol

Lol!

costume

He wasn’t wearing that costume in the Your Graduation video…

Will these findings jeopardize Modern Baseball’s career? Is this a ploy for Melissa to gain more credibility in within the tumblr/pop punk community? Could this mean a potential Modern Baseball/Millionaires collaboration is in the making?

Posted in lolwat, lolz, lulzy pictures | Tagged , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Brooklyn Girls by Catey Shaw – a scant 14 years late to the party

In the late 90s and v early 2000s, if you were a hipster, you moved to Brooklyn.  “Hipster” back then, meant you were ahead of the curve, likely grew up if not in metro New York itself, at least on the East Coast, and made the move because rent was cheaper than the LES.  Fast forward to 2014, and Brooklyn is now full of special snowflakes from Nebrahoma unironically complaining about “gentrification” while their dads pay their rent.  This has been A Thing for years now, but it hasn’t been captured in a music video until now.

Have you ever wondered what a bunch of groce looking chicks hanging around on stoops, standing next to graffiti, and mingling with Diversities would look like, set to a soundtrack about being proud about how “gritty” you are?  “Gritty” here defined as “intentionally having poor personal hygiene and little concern for your appearance despite having the access, background, and money to not have to do this to yourself.”  Well, wonder no further.

  • :02 Screencap this and it’s basically what you should see when you close your eyes and think “tumblr.”
  • You can tell she’s a “rly into this hipster thing u guise” with the blue hair.  Every time I see one of these girls on the L or G trains I think “Well, you just got here.”
  • :07 You see that building?  Depending on the number of bedrooms in each unit, rent in there is no less than about $1200 per person.  I believe you when you say you can pay this all by yourself with your job blogging at Jezebel, and you side job blogging at XOjane.
  • :12 dropping zip codes is so LA.  This is a song about Brooklyn, remember?
  • :46 I’m fairly certain this girl would smell like the inside of ABC No Rio during a Saturday matinee show in the summer.
  • :54 Nets hat spotted.  The Nets were from New Jersey.  Possible subliminal message?
  • 1:23 Ironic rollerblading.  The 90s were a long time ago, get ready for dat 90s nostalgia.
  • 2:36-2:40 and again @ 2:45-2:49 Last Night’s Party montage, LMAO I was like LMAO
  • 2:41 L train reference.  So far we’ve had a zip code, Jay-Z (who is now about as “Brooklyn” as a brand strategy consultant, so in a weird way, v, v Brooklyn), and now the L train.  She sounds like she “rly knows what she’s talking about.”
  • 3:09 You can just hear the “WOW, JUST WOW!  BIGOTLORD!”

I’m dubbing what you have seen here as the “HBO’s ‘Girls’ Syndrome.”

Given the number of unattractive girls in combat boots and skinnyfat beta males with beards in this video, it makes me think it was originally about SJWs on Twitter or some shit, because that shit is all up high in the mix and the “Brooklyn” stuff is p superficial.  Like the producer was all like “You know what, I don’t think a song about hashtag activism and fat acceptance and how beauty standards are irrelevant is going to be a hit.  Rewrite it about…oh I don’t know…what are the kids into these days…Brooklyn?  Is Brooklyn still a thing?” but they had all the footage already shot for the video so they just did the best they could with it in editing.

I’m not quite sure Brooklyn is a place to hype anymore.  New York City has always been among literally the worst places in America to live, but now even that charm has worn off.  Transplant white women in Brooklyn are almost universally unhappy people.  Some were brokens and moved in unhappy, but other became brokens.  Contemporary urban space does that to people.  Being a spinster drunk dating the quasi-trannies that are the men of the dating pool in Brooklyn is p hard.  So hard it requires a regimen of mood stabilizers.  They don’t seem to work though, because most of these chicks seem pretty prone to outbursts and going through men.

Crying constantly, being empty and unfulfilled, and never leaving your apartment is worth it when you consider all the great ethnic food in your neighborhood.  That’s worth everything.  All other values fall to the side.  Fuck, now that I think about it, Brooklyn and internet feminism might actually be the same thing.

Yo, and one last thing…where the fuck is that accent from?  I didn’t bother to research this bish but if she’s An Euro, you can kinda excuse this video by just chalking it up to European Personality Disorder rather than just being lulzy and out of touch (still a symptom on EPD, tho).

Posted in doesn't compute, embarrassing, fat arms, fucking gross, girls with low self esteem, hipster chicks, hipster shit, horrible accents, human garbage, i am a 20 year old girl, is this a joke, krazy white ppl, lax parenting, non threatening versions of urban culture, overthinking stuff, poor life choices, post-irony, ppl i do not want to see naked, stuff white people like, SWPL, ugly ppl, unattractive alternative girls, unemployment, urban attention seekers, vanity, we got student loans to do THIS?, well educated liberals, white, white foolishness, white people gone wild, white ppl, whole foods, zany things that white ppl do | Tagged , , , , , , | 26 Comments

bands that never got anywhere then disappeared: hollistercore edition

hollister                                                       the “Co.” stands for core

It has pretty much been established that Sarge is the master of coining faux-genres. One of my newer favorites, that he invented early this year, is HOLLISTERCORE. This label is for those bands that, you know, don’t quite have the super-saccharin-level of poppiness that most Neon Pop bands do, but definitely aren’t punxxx enough to be considered pop punk. I mean, basically it is pop rock, yes. But pop rock is such a vague term. Maroon 5 could be considered pop rock. So from now on, this stuff is known as HOLLISTERCORE and I will assign the following bands to their rightful genre.

Words cannot express how much I love The Best Week Ever! The reason for this being that I love (old) We Are The In Crowd, and this is practically the same thing. They’re even from the same city. I’ll even go out on a limb and say that the girl is almost as cute as Taylor Jardine. The singerbro was actually in WATIC for a brief period and he was also vocalist for risecore legends THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS, and like 40 other bands.

I’m not quite sure where Miles From Home fits in the Neon Pop/Hollistercore spectrum. On one hand, they do have synth throughout the whole song, but the dude is actually playing the synth on a keyboard. I feel like tr00 Neon Pop bands would just program their synth parts on a computer. Plus the singer’s voice is like 20 pitches lower than the average Neon Pop vocalist. Regardless, this song is a jam.

This is the PERFECT Hollistercore song. I really dig the piano in the pre-chorus, and that Hollistercore breakdown at 2 minutes = UR MOSHING. I feel like these guys didn’t make it big in the Hollistercore scene because they’re too awkward looking, as this video repeatedly shows us over and over again with the same pictures.

The Summer Soundtrack bring a little southern twang to the Hollistercore sound. The opening riff might make you think you’re listening to a country pop song but then the singer comes in sounding Hollister as fuck. They actually kind of remind me of the Maine, before they started sucking.

mainebeforeafter                                                              fuckin sellouts

I feel like some of these Hollistercore bands would have been more successful if they didn’t release music videos because this song is a banger, but the singer reminds me of the kid who Miley and Lilly were friends with on Hannah Montana, and the guitarist’s swag is all off with his tie and purple guitar, plus the drummer looks like he’s 12. My favorite part is at 2:40 when the girl jumps into the pool and the dude gets knocked off of his floatie.

Now we’re getting into some DEEP CUTS. These guys totally have the Hollistercore aesthetic down and wouldn’t look that out of place in a Hollister store itself. I love how the music video goes all glitchy during the glitchy vocal parts. Kind of advanced IMO. Also mirin the chorus lasers. So catchy. I guess the singer’s sister was the only girl available to appear in the music video though?

Catch Me If You Can was sooo good. The singer was probably attractive enough to make it. Too bad they’ll go mostly unknown. The girl in the video is actually the girl from the first band I posted on here (LACEY CAROLINE <3). Of course a kissing scene is carefully woven into plot of this video. I’m pretty jealous of him, not gonna front, even though he’s wearing a soccer jacket. Stream their discography here for more of that hot Hollistercore fire.

This band had a really weird name. They ended up changing it to “Party Like Summer” (good call). Too bad they released their best material under the weird name. This video has some lulzy moments. LOL @ the guitarist’s dance thing at 1:50. Usually I love catchy synth parts that come out of nowhere but what the fuck is up with that high pitched synth sound at 2:32? It sounds like they played it on a dog whistle.

Did u not know any of the bands on this list due to ur poor pedestrian taste? Is it safe to say that Hollistercore is one of the best genres? Or are you the type of clueless poser who can’t tell the difference between Hollistercore and Americaneaglecore? 

Posted in bands i like, bands u may have slept on, pop | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

EXCLUSIVE PREMIERE: New DROWNING video (ft fat kids moshing in a banquet hall)

Our buddies in DROWNING were kind enough to provide us with an exclusive premiere of their new video. In case you’re too busy with your career as a high-powered attorney/financial planner or satisfying your 10/10 girlfriend’s insatiable desire for sex to watch, here’s the cliff notes:

  • Love the “venue” (presumably the banquet hall at some hotel in Naperville that was foolish enough to rent it out for a DIY hardcore show). Nothing says bigtime like carpeted floors, card tables and folding chairs!
  • Lots of fat guys in this video, with the worst offenders being the skinnyfat dude with pierced nipples and a ski mask (1:06) and The Incredible Bulk throwing at table so hard that his pants almost fall off (1:23). There’s even a token fat GIRL at :58 (the one in the sexy Batman tank). I know you guys in the midwest like to eat carby, cheesy stuff but come on, this is just straight up unpleasant to look at. Let’s get that BMI under control, ok guys? And no more moshing with your shirt off unless you have abs. It’s just common courtesy.
  • Kid with brutal farmer tan moshing shirtless at 2:25
  • Song goes pretty hard. I don’t normally endorse rappy vocals like the ones at 2:00, but I think they work in this case. Probably because there are a few black people in the video, and the presence of actual people people legitimizes what might otherwise be considered wiggerish behavior (“no man, it’s cool– look, we have a black guy in our crew!”).

Screen Shot 2014-07-17 at 1.54.22 PM

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , | 44 Comments

Fronz from ATTILA launches record label and signs a POP PUNK band

fronz111

Fronz, that’s cool and all, but when will you ever acknowledge my pop punk cover of About That Life??? I even named my hardcore band after u guys, plz acknowledge me Fronz.

True story: Fronz hooked up with the vocalist of my deathcore band’s girlfriend in like 2010. She cheated on him with Fronz lulz. Then the dude from my band went on Facebook and posted a bunch of angry status updates about it. Lmao. Priceless. Ever since then, I have had nothing but respect for the dude (Fronz, that is).

fronzmessage                               one of the many inspirational messages from Fronz

Is Old Again really about that life? Do they have what it takes to stand out amongst the thousands of other tr00 pop punk/soon-to-be soft grunge bands that all practically sound the same? Is Fronz pop punk?

Posted in announcements, pop-punk | Tagged , , , , , , | 24 Comments

ex-Fight Fair/This Time Next Year band releases tr00/hipster music video

It’s crazy to think that some members of Fight Fair are still playing music (wouldn’t they all be like 40 by now? I mean, Settle The Score EP came out 14 years ago) but here is this new vid from Chris of Fight Fair’s band “The Boys After” (also featuring the drummer from This Time Next Year). I think the song is pretty tight, and it’s cool to see the grassy field video is still alive.

what-do-you-think

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

this new T. MILLS track goes hard

With all of the gloomy music that exists within the scene nowadays, sometimes it’s easy to forget that there are still some people out there making feel-good party music, T. MILLS being one of them. You can add this track to Save Parker’s summer jams list. What happened to his gauges though? Where are you hiding, T. Mills gauges?

tmills1   RIP T. Mills’ gaugues

Posted in new jamz, pop | Tagged , | 14 Comments

ABOUT THAT LIFE release debut single “Fake Hardcore Kid”

atlhcIn a scene full of posers, where even the Real Hardcore bands seem fake, we have decided to take things to the next level and vanguard the new movement of Real Real Hardcore™®. And yeah, I know we have the same initials as All Time Low, IDGAF.

Here is our debut song, calling out all of the fakes and posers in the scene. If you like what you hear, go give us a like on Facebook. <3

Posted in bands 2 watch for, hardcore, new jamz | Tagged , , , , , | 28 Comments

check out these cool NEO SKATE PUNK bands I’ve discovered

tonyhawkBack when I was in high school, skate punk was pretty much dead and gone but I still jocked the shit out of it. I was one of those “I was born in the wrong era” kids, shamefully. Flash forward 10 years later and I can’t really say much has changed about the genre. My teenage dreams of a full-on 90′s skate punk revival hasn’t come to fruition, and there’s a good chance it never will. But just like many other genres, there are always going to be those people who keep playing it no matter how dead and irrelevant it is. Admittedly, part of me has this crappy elitist complex towards newer skate punk. Basically, I’ve always thought that the mid-late 90′s/early 2000′s era of skate punk was superior and could rarely be replicated by any new band. For the most part I do tend stick to the classics, but here are some newer bands that I think are really sick.

Implants have major “old school skate punk” cred, with members of Strung Out, Pulley, and Ten Foot Pole in their lineup, all crucial bands from the first wave of 90′s Californian skate punk. Their sound doesn’t deviate much from their other bands’ older material and that’s why I love it so much. It’s just pure throwback music made by a bunch of dudes who are probably old enough to be your dad.

Okay, this one is sort of weird so bear with me. This dude named Chance Raspberry, who is an animator for The Simpsons, used to be the front-man of a skate punk band called “Jacuzzi Fiend” back in the 90′s. Since then, he has gone solo with his music career and is pioneering a new style of skate punk which blends the genre with power metal ala DragonForce. This may sound iffy on paper, but the end result is EPIC. He did a kick-starter to fund the project’s full length album, which unfortunately probably didn’t receive the support it needed due to its niche nature. I’m with you though Chance, hopefully you can still make this dream a reality.

Omaha is Canadian band that has a more progressive type feel to them not unlike BELVEDERE (the best Canadian skate punk band to ever exist IMO). I usually tend to prefer the more basic, 90′s type of skate punk (IE bands that rly want to be NOFX) but these guys play this style so damn well and have become one of my favorites in this neo skate punk scene (if you can even call it a scene?). Their album is for free download on their bandcamp, so go check that shit out.

IVS is another Canadian band that’s sick as fuhhhhh. They’re able to encapsulate that classic 90′s skate punk sound and add just the right amount of shredding. Like, enough shred that it makes the song a bit cooler but not enough to make you feel like you’re listening to a metal song (cause who would want that?).

These guys are about as perfect as it gets when it comes to skate punk IMO. They’re probably the best neo French Canadian skate punk band along with Mute. They represent everything I love about the genre. Their instrumentation is pretty straightforward, they do the whole “octave chords played on top of two string power chords” thing that NOFX invented and they focus heavily on melodies. The key change at 0:23 seconds that transitions so smoothly from part to part that I’m not even sure if it’s a key change? EPIC. That beautiful three-part vocal harmonization at 1:35? EPIC. The fact that I find their music so captivating that I am analyzing every small detail of it, making me look like a huge nerd for everyone to see? EMBARRASSING.

I became aware of Local Resident Failure after seeing various videos that the drummer uploaded onto YouTube. This guy is a monster… he has done a medley of every Epitaph Records release, every Fat Wreck Chords release, and ones for bands like Blink 182 and NOFX, among others. Judging by this I pretty much knew what his band was going to sound like and I was not let down. This is some solid skate punk.

Symphony of Distraction is definitely one of the best nu-skatepunk bands. They feature the vocalist (and possibly other members too? I’m not quite sure) of SecondShot, a super sick band who tragically broke out onto the scene not long after the genre died. As much as I love to give shit to dumb kids who rag on bands for being “trendy” and only playing styles of music that are currently “in”, I really do have to commend people in bands like this for playing an extinct style of music for 10+ years. That is pretty admirable.

These dudes are from France and they’ve been around for a while now but they just released their debut full length this year. If you’re a fan of “technical skate punk” then you these guys are perfect for you. They’re ridiculously good at their instruments. Seriously, as someone who attempted to play drums for like a year and then gave it up cause I sucked so much at it, I find it mind-boggling that their drummer can even play that fast.

These guys have been receiving lots of praise in the small, yet existent skate punk community. I kind of get a Propagandhi vibe from them. They’re from Spain if I’m not mistaken. Euros seem to be pretty hardcore about staying true to obsolete genres (I mean, look at easycore for example). So yeah, that’s pretty much all I’ve got.

Blah blah, generic questions in bold italics. Asks you what your favorite bands in the genre are. Something something. Asks you if you think the style will be revived. Doesn’t actually care about your opinion just wants to find a way to close the post. 

Posted in bands 2 watch, bands 2 watch for, bands i like, euros, punk | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

KNOCKED LOOSE are heavier than h*ck!!!

sludge-waves

welcome 2 the mosh party

It seems that every month we discover a new band that can only be described as “the heaviest most ignorant shit ever”, so here is this month’s edition.  They are called KNOCKED LOOSE from Louisville, Kentucky and they play some srsly next level sludgewave with a tr00 hardcore feel. I guess they are basically the American DESOLATED but with less Integrity/doom vibes. Like, if the definition of sludgewave is “deathcore bands that look hardcore but ackshually aren’t” then Knocked Loose is “hardcore that plays deathcore that looks hardcore” or something???? idk man let’s start moshing already.

  • The Death Row shirt is a great touch for some mandatory 90′s worship points. Visually, it perfectly complements the typical hardcore aesthetic; for all you know, Death Row could be a hardcore band from tiny town in Alabama.
  • The two step part at 0:53 is sooooo crucial. Really catchy stuff, which helps them stand out from the breakdown-salad that most sludgewave bands play. When they bring it home at 2:23 = you are jumping on top of your own head.
  • Innovative use of a trash can as a powerful moshing accessory at 1:42!!!
  • The drummer is wearing that Carnifex “FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU” shirt lolol. Hardcore dudes still make fun of deathcore all the time, so it’s good to know that Knocked Loose support a scene where nobody is discriminated against for the type of screamo they listen to.

this is my favorite song from the EP. I’m so glad STRAIGHTEDGE SLUDGEWAVE exists!!

ass

Like Knocked Loose on FB and buy POP CULTURE right fr**kin now dude!!!

Posted in bands i like, lulzy videos, new jamz | Tagged , , , , | 21 Comments