BRB GUISE

brb

As you may have noticed, I haven’t posted in a bit– just wanted to say that I’m taking a little break but will be back very soon! It’s mostly just that I’ve been really busy with my new job, and also that a couple times a year I get exhausted by the basically constant stream of negative bullshit that is the internet, and I need to step back for a bit to avoid burnout.

So yeah– bear with me, I’ll be back in action shortly and stay tuned! Tx u for ur support :3

Posted in announcements | 99 Comments

How to tell if you’re a “Nice Guy” (and how to stop it cause its awful)

Full great comic: here

            Let me be clear right here from the start, nice people are amazing all the time and wanting to be one should be a main goal in everyone’s life.  This isn’t about them.

“Nice Guys”, with the caps and if you’re reading this out loud a little stank in your voice, are not really that nice.  They’re actually pretty shitty people who are entitled little shitheads and incapable of understanding the feelings of others. Its pretty common and understandable if you think like this like in middle school or high school, cause everyone at that age is usually pretty shitty (definitely myself included), but Nice Guys in their twenty’s are a real bunch of life failing sadness machines that just bring my day down like no other.

But it doesn’t have to be like this! I put together some helpful tips so you can tell if you or someone you know is being a Nice Guy, and then get your life back on track to not being a suckfest of a human.

You think you’re better than other people
(you aren’t)

Already wrote extensively about why the Friendzone is Bullshit: here
Wouldn’t you think these people would know how to use the memes they love correctly?

One of the main calling cards of Nice Guys (remember to say it all shitty in your head), is that they think they’re great. The only way they could be rejected is if some ASSHOLE comes along. “But I’m way better than that guy! My niceness KNOWS NO BOUNDS!” Well slow your roll there pal, cause you’re probably awful and don’t even know.

You got to think about what you’re bringing to the table here. Are you nice? Yeah so is pretty much every other guy out there, including the one she’s dating. He’s probably also better looking, smarter, better to talk to, with a better job, a better social status (which is incredibly important), or maybe even just better at sex. It could even be just one of those things, or none of those things if they’re just a good match and have chemistry. That doesn’t make him the inferior jerk and you the superior nicer guy, it just means she likes him and not you and that’s it.

Is that your fault? Maybe, maybe not, doesn’t matter. Is it her fault? Definitely not. Should you obsess over it and hate her? No, you move on and don’t be an asshole about it because that makes you the only jerk in the equation, and a Nice Guy. Nice Guys suck, don’t be one, moving on.

You think you know what women want
(you have no clue)

so many cringes it might be fake but someone like this could totally be real and that’s scary

The most frustrating thing about dealing with Nice Guys is that they think they have a grasp on what women truly want in a man, and that if they keep being Nice it’ll just work out. I’m going to go on record right now saying I have no idea what women want, except that its going to vary highly between women because the female sex isn’t some giant hivemind that only wants one thing. And I’m like a 1000% sure no one wants fat bald fedora wearing bronies who use “pwn” non-ironically and call women bitches and whores.

But also, how unimportant is holding a door for someone or pulling out a chair? I don’t know what the struggles associated with day to day life as a women are and I never really will, but I’m pretty sure having to move doors and chairs will never be a day runiner. This (hopefully fake) person right here brings nothing of value to any type of relationship, but most painfully fails to see how useless he is and thinks just being “Nice” should make him in high demand. “Holy shit he Nice?? no way I don believe it where is the line to ride the D? How could this perfect smart cute niceness Adonis still be single all women must be heartless bitches right?”

So what do you do? Well you start working on making yourself a person other people would want to be with. Get a personality, be engaging, fun, interesting, rich even, seriously anything that could make someone find value in having you around. Doors mostly have those wheelchair buttons now anyway, if that’s all you got you’re gonna be lonely for a while. And that’s because you don’t even have the only quality you think you need.

You think you’re nice
(not even close)

“You HAVE to have sex with me once but I’ll never ask you a second time I’m super nice” – some terrible terrible human somewhere that exists isn’t that super fucked up what the fuck is wrong with you people

The worst part about Nice Guys (super shitty this time, like drag it out for a while), is that they aren’t really nice. One of the biggest indications that you’re dealing with a Nice Guy is that they will tell you how Nice they are. If you’re self-proclaimed anything odds are you aren’t whatever it is and you’re the opposite, which is exactly the case here. Nice Guys say they’re nice, but are really just pretty shitty and kind of hate women.

I like to think the first Nice Guy existed after he was rejected by someone who let him down easy with a “I’m sorry you’re just too nice” type lie. He really took that to heart, and blamed his lack of success on how great he was instead of realizing how terrible he was, and then with further rejection just grew to develop a hatred of all women instead a realization of his own flaws.

For the most part, Nice Guys are really just too wrapped up in their bitterness and entitlement to really think of women as people. They view dating as like a game, a game with which they think they can “win” but are being cheated by these “bitches” and “assholes”. They don’t factor in other people’s thoughts or feelings or motivations, or how they are perceived by others. Women just exist as sex prizes for making the right moves, and if it doesn’t work for you its because “girls like assholes and bad boys and I’m too nice and they’re all bitches and sluts who don’t realize I’m great.”

But that’s not how it works at all, and is an incredibly fucked way of looking at things. You aren’t owed anything for being nice, everyone should be nice. To every person you meet. All the time. Not just because you want to have sex with them. That’s not nice. Dating isn’t some game its making an emotional connection and a one-sided attraction isn’t a connection its an obsession and creepy and you can’t make an actual emotional bond with a woman if you view women as pieces of meat to be won over or deceived into being with you instead of equal HUMAN BEINGS with emotions and needs that have to be met for her to even be interested I mean really what the fuck is wrong with you. Ugh.

“Nice Guys” always finish last

If you are a Nice Guy its not too late, and hopefully you can become a functioning member of society capable of entering into a healthy relationship with a person you actually care about who cares about you. But you won’t get anywhere unless you realize your flaws, how your way of thinking is harmful, how to treat women as actual human beings, and work to be a better person. Remember, being an actually nice person (say it all sweet in your head like with flowers and stuff <3) is great!, and everyone will like you. Being too nice so you get taken advantage of is stupid. And being a Nice Guy is super shitty. Don’t be that. That’s the worst you can be.

You can do it, and we are here for support <3

Posted in advice, fucking gross, shit that non-ironically sucks | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 211 Comments

Peep the new ABANDONED BY BEARS video

Speaking of #EZCRAB, our boys in ABANDONED BY BEARS dropped a new single/video and that shit is FIRE son! I definitely consider these guys neck-in-neck with CHUNK NO CAPTAIN CHUNK in the battle for the #ezcrab throne, and if there is any fucking justice in this cruel, heartless world ABANDONED BY BEARS will blow the fuck up asap. Srs one of the best new bands I’ve heard in a couple years and solid dudes– back tard!

Holler at them on Facebook and tell them SYWH sent you!!

i love itt

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 53 Comments

The new FALLING IN REVERSE video makes me confuse

falling in reverse

Say what you want about Ronnie Radke (he is a convicted killer and woman beater so imma say he’s probably not the world’s best human being) but he is on some next level shit. This new ESCAPE THE FATE video is either an incredibly advanced piece of performance art or super lulzy narcissistic douchelordery– I’m really not sure which, but does it really even matter??

They went full CRAZYTOWN!! My notes:

  • Dat Skrillex hair
  • Song p much sounds like a little bit more wigged-out version of the ATTACK ATTACK album
  • Ronnie’s looking a little swole, guess he hit the weight pile while he was in the joint. Possibly the only scene frontman where DYEL jokes don’t work? :(
  • :50- “All I do is win.” I guess except for that one time you got convicted of a felony and had to go to prison for a year. And the other time you got busted for hitting your girlfriend. So other than that, yeah.
  • 2:21 where he makes the “L” for “Loser” thing on his forehead. Backwards.
  • 3:15 WEEZYCORE
Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , , , | 163 Comments

Recordcollectorcorecore: An Overview

Yours truly with the local recordcollectorcorecore crowd getting down to the breezy vibes of Negative Approach #seapunk.

Yours truly (bottom center) finger-pointing to Negative Approach, along with the local recordcollectorcorecore scene. In b4 ‘DYEL?’

Like the word “punk”, “hardcore” has so many different interpretations that it is difficult to say what exactly one listens to when they say they listen to “hardcore”. Do they mean Terror? Defeater? Negative Approach? The Ghost Inside? Gorilla Biscuits? Madball? Although those who have studied the genre’s history even a little are probably aware that it started with ancient bands like The Bad Brains and Minor Threat, those early 80s recordcollectorcore bands don’t really sound much at all like what people typically consider modern “hardcore” today (ie: they aren’t really ‘heavy’ bands per sey, and there are no breakdowns). From the mid 80s into the early 2000s, the definition of hardcore gradually shifted from the fast, punky, often annoying sound of first-generation recordcollectorcore to heavy music with breakdowns.

However, like all youth-oriented western music, hardcore runs in cycles, and eventually what was once old, crusty, and played-out becomes “classic”, “legendary”, and “the blueprint from which to move forward”. The early 2000s saw another generation of annoying beta punker kids enthusiastic to latch onto something different and aggressive, yet less intimidating (and more obscure) than the so-called “tough guy hardcore” of bands like Hatebreed and Throwdown. The release of Steven Blush’s American Hardcore in 2001 consolidated almost anything any young record collector nerd-in-training/‘junior hardcore historian’ would need to know about recordcollectorcore into an easy-to-read manual, and many of the same dinosaur bands featured in the book were on the road again, playing to new audiences for the first time in years to celebrate two decades of existing in some for or another (often only on vinyl or cd anthology for the majority of that time). Thus, the stage was set in the early/mid 2000s for a major revival in the music and fashion of recordcollectorcore, and before long, obnoxious little punk kids went from jocking The Casualties and playing street punk to calling themselves hardcore and aping Negative Approach. Thus, recordcollectorcorecore was born. Read on, and learn more about the strange parallel universe of hardcore that is recordcollectorcorecore, in which 17 year olds gossip about things middle-aged men did 25 years ago, and Maximumrocknroll still relevant…

Although I feel like there were probably a few bands who came bands before them, Orange County bands like Tipper’s Gore (and Harpoon Guns, who appear to have never made it to YouTube) were amongst the first recordcollectorcorecore bands I heard. I had gotten many, many friend requests on Myspace from random punk bands before, but this was the first time I had heard a new band and thought to myself “woah, they are really trying to sound like 80s hardcore”.

Double Negative are one of the biggest bands of this scene, which I find kind of funny as recordcollectorcorecore basically consists of young kids trying revive the steez of early 80s hardcore, and Double Negative was started by a bunch of old dudes who actually were there to see Minor Threat, Black Flag, et all back in the day. Having seen this band literally more times than I can remember in various shithouse basements, living rooms, bars, and clubs, it was a little weird finding out that there were kids all over the country who acted like they’d be willing to stab their grandma for a chance to see them and buy their shirt.

Recordcollectorcorecore is never a very good look. But, for whatever reason, Richmond acquired an excessive supply of smelly white dudes with long hair, dreads, the remnants of yesterday’s lunch dried in their beards, swagless studded battle jackets with dumb late 80s thrash band patches on them, and very loud opinions about stupid stuff. Lots of crusty people really took to Richmond bands like thrash revivalists Municipal Waste and recordcollectorcorecore leaders Government Warning, but I always kept my distance from VA hardcore thrash punx because I was afraid being around them would result in me getting scabies or crabs by osmosis (srs). Part of this contention was probably OCD, but it wasn’t entirely an unreasonable concern either.

As the first decade of the 2000s came to a close, the nostalgia gap in recordcollectorcorecore shifted up, allowing bands there were once ineligible to jock on the basis of either being too new (read: less than 25 years old) or “too tough guy” to become acceptable to like again. My buddies in Lung Matter (RIP) represent the newer breed of recordcollectorcorecore, bands who are obviously influenced by 1st gen luminaries like Negative Approach, but also like Judge and other stuff that more directly begat the more moshable, heavy sound of modern hardcore. BTW, most of the dudes in Lung Matter were between the ages of 15-18 when they recorded this and everything else they did, and it’s actually really fucking good for this style of music. You’d never even know a couple of them really insist on liking Bold!

Rival Mob are one of the most hyped current recordcollectorcorecore bands, and as their sound indicates, the present and future Shape Of Recordcollectorcorecore To Come is late 80s Youth Crew/NYHC. This development brings things nearly full circle, as recordcollectorcorecore is now veering dangerously close to the “tough guy” sound that OG recordcollectorcorecore opposed in the first place. There’s no way of getting around the fact that a basic underlying principle of this genre is being two decades late to the party, but hey, at least after roughly eight years of revival music, these kids are FINALLY putting mosh sections in the songs, right?

Overall, I have to admit that as a whole, recordcollectorcorecore was not one of my favorite developments in hardcore. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve spent a lot of time there (still do, sometimes), and there’s a lot of nice, sweet, kids who are into this stuff and I’m glad they are having fun with it. But as a former oldfag who jizzed over MDC and Minor Threat recordings over a decade ago, I don’t really have any reason to want to hear more music that sounds like old hardcore when I’ve heard enough old hardcore to last me a lifetime. Furthermore, when we are honest, recordcollectorcorecore is basically the result of when you combine the shitty attitudes and elitism of punk rock with the lack of heaviness and breakdowns of early 80s hardcore – and who the fuck wants to put up with all that, especially when you can just cut loose at a Hatebreed show or have a clean, family-friendly environment (with much better merch) at a The Ghost Inside gig?

Discussion: Are you into recordcollectorcorecore, and if so, who are your favorite bands? Did you read American Hardcore religiously, and where you disappointed when you saw the documentary and realized almost everybody in the book is either bald, fat, and/or leathery now? Is there a place in the world for hardcore without breakdowns anymore, or do you believe this sort of backwards thinking is dangerous, and could lead us into a spiral in which people think it’s a good idea to intentionally sound like YDI or Toxic Reasons? Is anybody who reads this site unlucky enough to have ever heard YDI or Toxic Reasons?

Posted in bands u may have slept on, hardcore, punx, what u do after school when u live in the suburbs, what we think about stuff | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 142 Comments

The new LAKEVIEW single is the template for easycore 2.0: EZCRAB

lakeview

For as much crying handwringing as I’ve done lately about easycore being on its deathbed and the rise of antiquelampcore and 50s dad haircuts and blah blah blah, I kind of lost sight of the fact that some of the best ezcore of all time dropped in the last few months: CITY LIGHTS’ new single, ABANDONED BY BEARS, the CHUNK album, and last but not least the LAKEVIEW EP. And speaking of LAKEVIEW, they’re back with a new label (Arkaik Records) and a new single that goes hard as FUCK:

That said, with the exception of CITY LIGHTS, none of the newer generation of easycore bands really sound like what we think of as “easycore:” major key breakdowns, zany song titles and (for the most part) really really really terrible production that pretty much ruins it. But maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Like a homely catepillar pupating and transforming into a beautiful, majestic butterfly caressing the sky with it’s multi-colored wings, easycore 1.0 has morphed into easycore 2.0: EZCRAB. It’s everything you loved about easycore, but with shiny Risecore production and even sicker breakdowns. And I am more than ok with that.

EASYCORE IS DEAD. LONG LIVE EZCRAB.

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 44 Comments

There is a band called YOLO and their singer is a hnggggggggg Mexi girl

yolo kyut pose

 That spunky pose hnggggggggggggg wood cumfaint the instant she got within restraining order distance of me

A bunch of people sent me this video, probably because they wanted me to make fun of it. But I’ll leave that for all the metal sites who will delight in calling this “the most incredibly awful piece of shit I’ve ever heard,” “even worse than ATTACK ATTACK” and all the other excessively strong, aspie ways they have of saying “i dont liek thing.” Because you know what? I’m in love, and love does funny things to a man.

The best part about this video is the Android phones– such an authentic portrait of what its like to be Mexican!! Also, the part at like 3:00 when they go on a carefree romp in the park <3

First of all, I don’t think this band is bad at all. In fact, they’re pretty damn good. But secondly and more importantly, I’m in love with the kyut little screamer girl and her kyut purple hair and sunny smile and omg I just want to squeeze her and hold hands and eat froyo at the Brea mall with her and ask her what her brother meant when he called me a “pinche guero.” The other girl has a really good voice (even though it’s fake) and that’s cool but Stephanie, my heart beats only for you. #YOLO

yolo selena

HI STEPHANIE I REALLY LIKE YOUR FUNKY STYLE AND JUST LIKE THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU HAHA IF YOU EVER WANNA TALK MESSAGE ME ANYTIME OK HAHA

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE on Facebook

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 159 Comments

Help, the new WORLD OF PAIN is shitting bricks of pure heaviness all over me

tumblr_micwbuEb6C1qbww0to2_500WARNING: Don’t even fuckin’ think about reading any further before adorning your puffy vest

San Diego bros WORLD OF PAIN have always been good at creating maximum ignorant mosh damage, but they got a new album, Improvise & Survive, coming out later this month, and it’s seriously, like, too heavy. Please be safe when listening, and remember, it’s never cool to practice spin kicking your cat, no matter how much your brain is telling you “dude he’ll fly so far and it will be so crucial, and cats can jump off buildings and shit he’ll be fine”, just don’t fucking do it! Cats don’t forget that kind of hatred, they’ll piss on your pillow or something.

If ur a true scumbag you probably know this song was on their ’09 demo, and prob thought it couldn’t get heavier. You now stand corrected.

Praise be to our Mosh Lord on high. Hallelujah. 2013 is the a good year so far, indeed. This song is called DROWNING, which is coincidentally relevant to the mind-bottling band DROWNING and also the No Zodiac song DROWNING, making DROWNING the official beatdown vocab word that 2013 will be remembered by!

0:19 is all i have to say

asdgasdgsg

IS THIS ENOUGH STREET CRED FOR U FGGTS??

Posted in awesome shit, bands 2 watch, bands i like, mesh shorts, new jamz, wigged and confused, wigger slam | Tagged , | 36 Comments

IN HER OWN WORDS have a new song and it’s totally tr00

as far as easycore goes, in her own words has always been one of my favs from the golden era, and criminally underrated (along with can’t bear this party – who in a recent interview have stated that they will never turn tr00) .

this EP is srsly a masterpiece

although can’t bear this party have made the pledge to stick to their roots, in her own words have gone the opposite route and have a new song that’s totally tr00 … but i kinda like it. maybe my tastes have evolved to the point of being more faggy, but i aint even mad.

http://inherownwords.bandcamp.com/track/reverie
^^^

now you can add IHOW along with the wonder years, four year strong, citizen, sail to north, a place in time and me vs hero to the list of easycore bands who have now gone tr00.

things_change_by_zyke39-d3j1egs

Posted in easycore, tr00 pop punk, tr00bonic plague | Tagged , , , | 22 Comments

The new CHUNK NO CAPTAIN CHUNK is out and o my fuk it’s so good

ChunkNoCaptainChunk-PardonMyFrench

So the new CNCC album is out, and I think we all new it was gonna be a banger. Yet somehow it is even fucking better than I thought it would be– without a doubt one of the best ezcore albums to date (which is especially refreshing considering the sorry state of the genre), and a huge step up from their awesome debut. Between the super tight Joey Sturgis production and the fact that they can actually (kinda) speak English now, it’s hard to find anything wrong with this record. It’s basically like if they made a whole album of songs as awesome as “In Friends We Trust!”

Really into this song, and also the “zany tour antics” video. It’s refreshingly G-rated, and  they seem like legit nice dudes– petting kangaroos, playing on swingsets, and other activities that would make Taylor Swift nod approvingly. Also really good lyrics about being posi and making the most out of life, which is a nice change of pace from all the fucking pussy whiny friendzone/lonely at college bullshit.

Probably my favorite song on the album, “Bipolar Mind.” Can’t rly understand the lyrics but feel liek they are very relevant and inspirational and could definitely go well on top of a pic of a misty forest, mountain range or other rebloggable image.

“Haters Gonna Hate,” the heaviest song on the album. ADTR y u no sound like this instead of crappee radio rock?? :(

genre easycore Bai the album on iTunes here

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , , , | 58 Comments