The latest documentary fawning over the 80s DC hardcore scene is out


It took me a while to understand why the 80s DC hardcore scene is so popular with alternative white ppl/whole foods customers/ppl who ride bicycles. I mean don’t get me wrong, I like MINOR THREAT as much as the next guy and probably like DAG NASTY significantly more than the next guy, but it always kind of baffled my why they fixated on this scene in particular rather than the larger ones at the time like Los Angles, Orange County or NYC. Whenever you meet someone who is old and completely out of touch with current music, yet has excessively strong opinions about “punk” (or as they often say it, “hardcore punk”), they are inevitably huge fans of the Dischord scene and usually know very little about any other facet of punk. It never quite made sense to me until I watched this trailer for “Salad Days,” the latest documentary where old ppl talk about how “amazing” and “groundbreaking” the 80s DC hardcore scene was:

All the typical elements are present: black and white photos that make it look like every show was amazing, old ppl saying dumb shit about how “those weren’t SHOWS, those were WARS!!!,” etc. Yawn. But at :53, Brian Baker (who I have always found to be the voice of reason) drops a knowledge bomb: “It’s not a working class city. So that’s why our punk rock didn’t sound very working class.”

It’s very simple now that I think about it: alternative white ppl who shop at Whole Foods, listen to NPR and think Pitchfork is the arbiter of taste love the Dischord scene because they can see themselves in it– in contrast to say the LA or NY scenes who were largely driven by people who were truly damaged and probably should have been institutionalized or incarcerated.

While GG Allin was throwing his own shit at people, Darby Crash was ODing, and Vinne Stigma was living in the park next to a burned out trash can, the people in the DC scene were starting the “Revolution Summer”– the first time in which people decided that punk rock wasn’t about living fast and dying young, it was about alternative white people gathering en masse to crusade on behalf of oppressed minorities. Squarely in the wheelhouse of the Ikeacore crowd!

The other thing I realized is that the NPR/Noisey crowd’s pathway to “punk” wasn’t like most of ours: most of us probably started out listening to thrash, death metal, etc, whereas they probably heard about the “legendary punk band FUGAZI” through some entry-level media outlet like Pitchfork, MTV, NPR, Rolling Stone, etc. And when it comes to mainstream-alternative/cooldad icons like Henry Rollins and Dave Grohl, the DC scene has that on lock.

Anyway, just my rambling thoughts. If you know any chubby white guys with a beard and low testosterone who use the term “hardcore punk” and claim to love it but do not actually like anything remotely close to actual hardcore, they will probably love this film!

hc bands hate white ppl

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TDWP to play “Zombie” EP in full on their next tour

Screen Shot 2014-12-17 at 10.42.46 AM

Translation: “nobody cared about the records we did after this, so we’re just gonna give the kids what they want.” While it’s a bummer for them, props to Mike for admitting what is obvious. Like how all the 80s hair bands who followed up their big hit with several crappy albums that flopped, until finally they were just like “fuck it,” and settled with playing their old hits at casinos and county fairs. In the business these are called “legacy acts,” which is a nice way of saying “washed up bands who still make a nice living playing their old shit to old people in B markets and off-brand venues.”

See also the “anniversary tours” from the likes of HAWTHORNE HEIGHTS and SENSES FAIL– are we seeing the beginning of the “scene legacy acts” market develop? And where will it end? How long until ATTACK ATTACK reunites to play “Someday Came Suddenly” from start to finish at the Kitsap County Fairgrounds next to the funnel cake stand, right after SUGAR RAY’s set??

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The origins of Dwid/INTEGRITY’s “holy terror” tropes

Picture 59I’ve got no idea if he’s still jocked relentlessly today, but a few years ago when I would randomly troll B9, Dwid/Integrity and the Holy Terror stuff seemed to be everywhere. People would jizz themselves over a new Dwid shirt design. I’ve always heard people talk about the whole ‘Holy Terror Church of the Final Judgement’ under their breath, never really understanding whats going on. So fuck it, I’m gonna shed some light.

First off, I honestly give about zero fucks about Integrity. I, like everyone else in the hxc scene went kinda nuts over their first album “Those Who Fear Tomorrow” but even by “Systems Overload” I was off them. IDK, kinda all sounded the same to me. And even then I found myself eye-rolling over the Armenian Genocide liner notes. I remember opening the Integrity CD with the Process logo (interlinked Ps) and thinking – what the fuck is that doing there?!?, and fully understanding that I was probably one of the *very* few hxc people that knew what the hell that thing was (I can give details of *why* I knew it in the comments, if wanted).

What is the Holy Terror Church? Well, as far as I can tell from talking to people ‘close’ to those involved, it’s mostly a made up idea to lend ‘mystique’ to the Dwid/Holy Terror brand. And nothing against Dwid for doing so – good marketing I guess – but it’s just not a real thing. Even the ‘Holy Terror Church of the Final Judgement‘ and the ‘Jack Abernathy’ character are made up. I can’t say what Dwid personally believes or doesn’t, but this idea that there is this deep underground ‘church’ spreading some amorphous ‘message’ is just not real.

downloadMore interesting is where did Dwid get the ideas from? This is largely just (informed) speculation – but much of the vocabulary used seems to come straight from the writings found in the Re/Search book Industrial Culture Handbook. That book is basically an overview of 70s and 80s ‘performance artists’ (yuck), like SPK, Throbbing Gristle (more on them in a sec) and Boyd Rice. Words like ‘sonic terrorism’, ‘art as terror’, or any other crazy term you read in a Dwid interview sound like they come straight from this book.

Integrity Cover vs Psychic TV Logo

Integrity Cover vs Psychic TV Logo

Point two is the character of Genesis P-Orridge, (co)founder of bands like Throbbing Gristle and Psychic TV, and (more importantly) rediscoverer of the Process Church. P-Orridge came across some Process Church magazines in the 70s and really embraced the design ethic of the group (jury out on how much of their teachings he absorbed). So through P-Orridge, an ‘extreme’ musician, Dwid, a professed early fan of ‘extreme’ music would have some exposure to the look/basic ideas of The Process. (FYI Throbbing Gristle is like entry level ‘extreme’/industrial noise music. And unlistenable to boot) P-Orridge’s obsession with Manson is pretty directly linked to Integrity imagery as well…


Integrity Shirt vs Psychic TV Group Shot… Similar?

So – what the hell is/was the Process Church (full name – The Process Church of the Final Judgement… hmm…) Basically, it centered around two very charismatic cast-outs from the 60s Scientology movement in London. Banned by omega-level weirdness guru L. Ron Hubbard, these two took the Scientology ‘auditing’ idea underground and formed a closed group that started living communally. They eventually moved to Mexico on some isolated sugar plantation, and had a kind of group mind-fuck where they thought God was speaking to the group, and wrote these down as ‘The Xtul Dialogs‘ (links to a 500 page terribly done PDF). Feeling they ‘had something’ the group moved to the states, drafted on some crazy Jehovah/Satan theology, opened some coffee shops and dressed in robes like insane people. Got somewhat big, had major group implosions and disappeared.. but not before they published a few issues of their magazine that was, if nothing else, very graphically advanced for it’s time. FYI – ‘Humanity is the Devil‘ was a foundational document of the Process Church…

2014-12-12_19-54-33The group went through a bunch of closures and ‘rebrandings’, eventually rejecting the Process teachings, becoming The Foundation and eventually morphed into an animal welfare group out of Utah! But luckily a few used copies of Process magazine found their way into P-Orridge’s hands and the rest is Holy Terror history… If you got questions, I’ll answer ‘em in the comments.

PS: Just noticed – in the linked PDF above, you could basically randomly pick sentences from any Process writings and sound liek a super dark Holy Terror hxc band… Fuck this shit is gold!2014-12-14_20-22-23

Posted in 90s hardcore, bands i used to think were good, blatant self promotion, branding, controversial art, crap, lulzy bands, overthinking stuff, people who have a lot of miles on them, people you should run away from, white people gone wild | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 70 Comments

It’s 2014 and there is a new band that sounds *exactly* like I SET MY FRIENDS ON FIRE

aaa profile

And when I say exactly I mean EXACTLY– this song by AMERICAN AWESOME ALLIANCE came out in September of 2014 but could easily have been on “You Can’t Spell Slaughter Without Laughter” in 2008. And maybe it’s because I’ve spent the last 2-3 years awash in floral print shoegaze tumblr soft grunge twinkledaddy 90s alt rock-worshop, but I think this is pretty fucking great.

Usually I get annoyed by stuff that is this xD, but there is something about how unabashedly shitty this is that makes me really love it– and although it is objectively shitty, at the same time you can tell they put a ton of energy into every detail, which makes it great in a South Park “worse is better” kind of way. And idk, maybe I am too old to be laughing at this kind of thing but the part at 1:20 when he eats an english muffin out of his shorts makes me giggle a lot.

And on a srs note, the lack of pretentiousness here is a very very VERY refreshing change of pace from bands who are so concerned with looking like Artists who ‘rly know their roots’ that they make fake VHS videos. IDK about you, but to me punk means “kids making whatever the fuck they want and not giving a fuck,” which makes this pretty punk in my book. Also, the breakdown at 2:00 is the most neon thing I have heard this decade– so good!

Like AMERICAN AWESOME ALLIANCE on Facebook and follow them on Twitter

Posted in bands 2 watch for, new jamz, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 23 Comments

if you like MÖTLEYCRÜECORE, then check out this hot new track from DEJA VU #hardrock

Thanks to Patty Walls for awaring me of this!


Posted in bands 2 watch, bands 2 watch for, bands u can sing along to, new jamz | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

BOTDF debut new “Jeremy McKinnon in a wig” look

botdf beards

strong “puerto rican construction worker trynna look fly” vibe

paco beard

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Let’s Talk About LAGWAGON

lagwagonKeeping the 90′s punk aesthetic alive in 2k14 while hiding grey hairs at the same time. +1 

LAGWAGON… if you’re under 25, there’s a good chance you haven’t heard of them. If you’re 25-30ish, you might know them as that band that was in one of those Tony Hawk games. If you’re over 30, you might actually like them, or at least used to. If you are aware of them but don’t follow them, you might be surprised to find out that they’re still a band and they actually released a new album this year. But I’m not going to talk about that. I’m here to discuss how they are one of the best bands of 90′s skate punk.

DUH came out way back in 1992 and it is the first album released on Fat Wreck Chords, which would soon become the main headquarters for influential 90′s skate punk bands (Propagandhi, No Use For A Name, Strung Out, yada yada). On this album, they were basically like a faster, more proficient version of Bad Religion (if they weren’t boring). I don’t think it’s their best work but it is definitely advanced for its time and a solid debut, especially by 1992 standards… what’s up with old ass bands taking like 3-4 albums to get good? I mean, look at NOFX for an example of this.

Their sophomore album TRASHED was released in 1994, AKA “the year punk broke into the mainstream” (via Green Day and The Offspring) and it is among some of their best material in my opinion. The intensity and emotion in this song is unmatched by most in the genre. This song also features guest vocals from Fat Mike of NOFX. Not sure why guest vocal features are so rare in punk (although they’ve become a lot more common in recent years). Buffy the Vampire Slayer sample = 90′s as fuck.

Know It All is definitely one of their best songs. The lyrics are about those annoying trendy music elitists that everyone in any sort of music scene has come across before and the message is still so relevant today. This song is well known for being featured on the first Fat Wreck Chords compilation “Fat Music For Fat People”. Punk compilations were a big thing in the 90′s and pretty much the #1 way for discovering new bands.

Hoss is considered by many to be their best album. I’m not sure I agree with this, but it is such a great album that it doesn’t really matter. The whole “starting off slow and soft and then abruptly transitioning into fast and furious” thing later became a common theme in Lagwagon songs (see: Alien 8, Never Stops, and Burn).

lagwagonyoungThe awkward height difference between the singer and guitarist always made for a funny visual. 

Their fourth album “Double Plaidinum” was kind of a dud and is one of their least popular. They made it after a lineup change (new guitarist + drummer) so maybe they were adjusting to that and it effected the quality, although I’m not quite sure who did most of the songwriting. A lot of the album sounds kind of uninspired but “Making Friends” is a classic Lagwagon song and one of my favorite songs ever.

doubleplaidinumThe title/album art almost makes up for the lack of memorability in the music. Simple yet ingenious. 

“Let’s Talk About Feelings” is quite possibly their magnum opus. This song has so many great melodies and twists and turns via unpredictable chord progressions, all while maintaining a fast-paced tempo (speed + melodies are the 2 key ingredients to skate punk).

Of course, May 16 (also known as the Tony Hawk song) is their “big hit” and is one of the greatest songs ever made in any genre imo. It is uplifting, beautiful, and epic. Definitely a timeless classic.

Even their post-90′s material has some gems in it, like this song about them being washed up. I feel like lots of 90′s punk bands either only wrote jokey songs (see: Guttermouth) or had 100% srs songs but Lagwagon had a nice balance between the two and were masters of both styles.

ithinkmyolderbrotherusedtolistentolagwagonThis EP they released in 2008 is among some of their worst material but the title displays god tier accuracy and self-awareness. So amazing.

What do you think about Lagwagon? Were they good enough to compete with NOFX for the 90′s skate punk throne? Are they old enough at this point to be filed in the category of “dad punk”? Were they probably old enough to be filed in that category 8-10 years ago?

Posted in bands i like, bands who used to be good, bands who used to be popular, punk | Tagged , , , , , , , | 43 Comments

ITT: why i hate beard culture

beard culture


Posted in lulzy pictures | Tagged , , | 64 Comments


ezcrabchartFull size can be viewed here:

Big shout-outs to Luke Marshall for making this. I’ll go over some of the lesser known bands on the chart to familiarize you guys with them.

3. Set The Pace – Classic (MKTO cover)

This song is GOD TIER and easily the best cover this year in my opinion. Nice chunky guitar tone with super strong vocals. That heavy part at 1:44 = #ezcrab eargasm.

4. Crunkasaurus Rex – Cheers To The Years

I know Sarge posted about these guys not too long ago, but I just want to reiterate how amazing they are. Definitely one of the most advanced newcomer bands.

5. No! Not The Bees! – Self Respect

To be honest, I had no idea who these guys were but they sound pretty solid. I’m loving the synth that comes in at 1:00.

7. Anchors To Anchors – Keep Your Friends Close

I’ve known about these guys for a while and they’re super sick so I’m glad I’ve finally posted them on here. They’re kinda like Chunk without the lulzy French accent.

8. Heavyweight – Fool’s Gold

I’ve also known about these guys for a minute and they’re super dope. The guitarists have the technical proficiency to be in a metal band but instead they use their powers for good (top tier ez) and not evil (lame djent shit).


Posted in bands 2 watch, bands 2 watch for, bands i like, crabcore, easycore, eurocore, euros, pop-punk | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

The new FALLING IN REVERSE single = further evidence of a scene revival

Ronnie might not look like a hot scene chick anymore, but this could have easily been an outtake from “Dying Is Your Latest Fashion.” Can’t wait for kids to start paying top dollar for used Sidekicks in an attempt to recreate 2007 in 2015!


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