ABOUT THAT LIFE releases new song; calls out Mat Kerekes from Citizen

xATLx is quickly becoming one of the most controversial and talked about bands in hardcore. For this song we have decided to call out Mat Kerekes (or as we call him, “Mat Carkeys”) from Citizen for our own personal reasons. You can watch the lyric video below after the jump.

Be sure to check us out on Facebook and Bandcamp. Stay hardcore.

Posted in announcements, hardcore, hxc, lulzy videos, new jamz | Tagged , , , , , | 29 Comments

Abandoned By Bears made T-Swift #EZCRAB

Two of my favorite artists – Abandoned By Bears and Taylor Swift have finally united! And don’t come at me with stupid comments like “lol didn’t this song come out like 2 years ago, why are they just covering it now” because we all know songs like this are timeless. Or maybe it just took that long for it to hit Swedish airwaves, idk.

taylorswiftthumbsup

Posted in bands i like, easycore, new jamz | Tagged , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

singer of Modern Baseball spotted hanging out with the Millionaires; potentially jeopardizes tr00 credibility

Run For Cover’s Modern Baseball has quickly risen to the top of teen bloggers’ playlists across the nation within the last year, but according to these recent pictures that have surfaced on the internet, the singer may be leading a double life and isn’t as tr00 as we were led to believe…

modernbaseballsinger1

Ok, there must be some logical explanation for this… maybe Melissa is just a fan and they wanted to have their pictures taken with him? I mean, I saw a picture of her wearing a Man Overboard hoodie, so maybe she’s into that type of music? He seems like a nice guy who would take pictures with any fans, even if they made music that is trite, soulless and lacking substance… oh, god, wait… he’s wearing a Millionaires shirt. This may be worse than I thought…

pizzapartyWell, that’s pretty… pop punk? Does the pizza lose credibility when it’s being fed to you by the Millionaires?

hoverhandIs he hover-handing Allison’s thighs?

lol

Lol!

costume

He wasn’t wearing that costume in the Your Graduation video…

Will these findings jeopardize Modern Baseball’s career? Is this a ploy for Melissa to gain more credibility in within the tumblr/pop punk community? Could this mean a potential Modern Baseball/Millionaires collaboration is in the making?

Posted in lolwat, lolz, lulzy pictures | Tagged , , , , , , | 40 Comments

Brooklyn Girls by Catey Shaw – a scant 14 years late to the party

In the late 90s and v early 2000s, if you were a hipster, you moved to Brooklyn.  “Hipster” back then, meant you were ahead of the curve, likely grew up if not in metro New York itself, at least on the East Coast, and made the move because rent was cheaper than the LES.  Fast forward to 2014, and Brooklyn is now full of special snowflakes from Nebrahoma unironically complaining about “gentrification” while their dads pay their rent.  This has been A Thing for years now, but it hasn’t been captured in a music video until now.

Have you ever wondered what a bunch of groce looking chicks hanging around on stoops, standing next to graffiti, and mingling with Diversities would look like, set to a soundtrack about being proud about how “gritty” you are?  “Gritty” here defined as “intentionally having poor personal hygiene and little concern for your appearance despite having the access, background, and money to not have to do this to yourself.”  Well, wonder no further.

  • :02 Screencap this and it’s basically what you should see when you close your eyes and think “tumblr.”
  • You can tell she’s a “rly into this hipster thing u guise” with the blue hair.  Every time I see one of these girls on the L or G trains I think “Well, you just got here.”
  • :07 You see that building?  Depending on the number of bedrooms in each unit, rent in there is no less than about $1200 per person.  I believe you when you say you can pay this all by yourself with your job blogging at Jezebel, and you side job blogging at XOjane.
  • :12 dropping zip codes is so LA.  This is a song about Brooklyn, remember?
  • :46 I’m fairly certain this girl would smell like the inside of ABC No Rio during a Saturday matinee show in the summer.
  • :54 Nets hat spotted.  The Nets were from New Jersey.  Possible subliminal message?
  • 1:23 Ironic rollerblading.  The 90s were a long time ago, get ready for dat 90s nostalgia.
  • 2:36-2:40 and again @ 2:45-2:49 Last Night’s Party montage, LMAO I was like LMAO
  • 2:41 L train reference.  So far we’ve had a zip code, Jay-Z (who is now about as “Brooklyn” as a brand strategy consultant, so in a weird way, v, v Brooklyn), and now the L train.  She sounds like she “rly knows what she’s talking about.”
  • 3:09 You can just hear the “WOW, JUST WOW!  BIGOTLORD!”

I’m dubbing what you have seen here as the “HBO’s ‘Girls’ Syndrome.”

Given the number of unattractive girls in combat boots and skinnyfat beta males with beards in this video, it makes me think it was originally about SJWs on Twitter or some shit, because that shit is all up high in the mix and the “Brooklyn” stuff is p superficial.  Like the producer was all like “You know what, I don’t think a song about hashtag activism and fat acceptance and how beauty standards are irrelevant is going to be a hit.  Rewrite it about…oh I don’t know…what are the kids into these days…Brooklyn?  Is Brooklyn still a thing?” but they had all the footage already shot for the video so they just did the best they could with it in editing.

I’m not quite sure Brooklyn is a place to hype anymore.  New York City has always been among literally the worst places in America to live, but now even that charm has worn off.  Transplant white women in Brooklyn are almost universally unhappy people.  Some were brokens and moved in unhappy, but other became brokens.  Contemporary urban space does that to people.  Being a spinster drunk dating the quasi-trannies that are the men of the dating pool in Brooklyn is p hard.  So hard it requires a regimen of mood stabilizers.  They don’t seem to work though, because most of these chicks seem pretty prone to outbursts and going through men.

Crying constantly, being empty and unfulfilled, and never leaving your apartment is worth it when you consider all the great ethnic food in your neighborhood.  That’s worth everything.  All other values fall to the side.  Fuck, now that I think about it, Brooklyn and internet feminism might actually be the same thing.

Yo, and one last thing…where the fuck is that accent from?  I didn’t bother to research this bish but if she’s An Euro, you can kinda excuse this video by just chalking it up to European Personality Disorder rather than just being lulzy and out of touch (still a symptom on EPD, tho).

Posted in doesn't compute, embarrassing, fat arms, fucking gross, girls with low self esteem, hipster chicks, hipster shit, horrible accents, human garbage, i am a 20 year old girl, is this a joke, krazy white ppl, lax parenting, non threatening versions of urban culture, overthinking stuff, poor life choices, post-irony, ppl i do not want to see naked, stuff white people like, SWPL, ugly ppl, unattractive alternative girls, unemployment, urban attention seekers, vanity, we got student loans to do THIS?, well educated liberals, white, white foolishness, white people gone wild, white ppl, whole foods, zany things that white ppl do | Tagged , , , , , , | 37 Comments

bands that never got anywhere then disappeared: hollistercore edition

hollister                                                       the “Co.” stands for core

It has pretty much been established that Sarge is the master of coining faux-genres. One of my newer favorites, that he invented early this year, is HOLLISTERCORE. This label is for those bands that, you know, don’t quite have the super-saccharin-level of poppiness that most Neon Pop bands do, but definitely aren’t punxxx enough to be considered pop punk. I mean, basically it is pop rock, yes. But pop rock is such a vague term. Maroon 5 could be considered pop rock. So from now on, this stuff is known as HOLLISTERCORE and I will assign the following bands to their rightful genre.

Words cannot express how much I love The Best Week Ever! The reason for this being that I love (old) We Are The In Crowd, and this is practically the same thing. They’re even from the same city. I’ll even go out on a limb and say that the girl is almost as cute as Taylor Jardine. The singerbro was actually in WATIC for a brief period and he was also vocalist for risecore legends THAT’S OUTRAGEOUS, and like 40 other bands.

I’m not quite sure where Miles From Home fits in the Neon Pop/Hollistercore spectrum. On one hand, they do have synth throughout the whole song, but the dude is actually playing the synth on a keyboard. I feel like tr00 Neon Pop bands would just program their synth parts on a computer. Plus the singer’s voice is like 20 pitches lower than the average Neon Pop vocalist. Regardless, this song is a jam.

This is the PERFECT Hollistercore song. I really dig the piano in the pre-chorus, and that Hollistercore breakdown at 2 minutes = UR MOSHING. I feel like these guys didn’t make it big in the Hollistercore scene because they’re too awkward looking, as this video repeatedly shows us over and over again with the same pictures.

The Summer Soundtrack bring a little southern twang to the Hollistercore sound. The opening riff might make you think you’re listening to a country pop song but then the singer comes in sounding Hollister as fuck. They actually kind of remind me of the Maine, before they started sucking.

mainebeforeafter                                                              fuckin sellouts

I feel like some of these Hollistercore bands would have been more successful if they didn’t release music videos because this song is a banger, but the singer reminds me of the kid who Miley and Lilly were friends with on Hannah Montana, and the guitarist’s swag is all off with his tie and purple guitar, plus the drummer looks like he’s 12. My favorite part is at 2:40 when the girl jumps into the pool and the dude gets knocked off of his floatie.

Now we’re getting into some DEEP CUTS. These guys totally have the Hollistercore aesthetic down and wouldn’t look that out of place in a Hollister store itself. I love how the music video goes all glitchy during the glitchy vocal parts. Kind of advanced IMO. Also mirin the chorus lasers. So catchy. I guess the singer’s sister was the only girl available to appear in the music video though?

Catch Me If You Can was sooo good. The singer was probably attractive enough to make it. Too bad they’ll go mostly unknown. The girl in the video is actually the girl from the first band I posted on here (LACEY CAROLINE <3). Of course a kissing scene is carefully woven into plot of this video. I’m pretty jealous of him, not gonna front, even though he’s wearing a soccer jacket. Stream their discography here for more of that hot Hollistercore fire.

This band had a really weird name. They ended up changing it to “Party Like Summer” (good call). Too bad they released their best material under the weird name. This video has some lulzy moments. LOL @ the guitarist’s dance thing at 1:50. Usually I love catchy synth parts that come out of nowhere but what the fuck is up with that high pitched synth sound at 2:32? It sounds like they played it on a dog whistle.

Did u not know any of the bands on this list due to ur poor pedestrian taste? Is it safe to say that Hollistercore is one of the best genres? Or are you the type of clueless poser who can’t tell the difference between Hollistercore and Americaneaglecore? 

Posted in bands i like, bands u may have slept on, pop | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 18 Comments

EXCLUSIVE PREMIERE: New DROWNING video (ft fat kids moshing in a banquet hall)

Our buddies in DROWNING were kind enough to provide us with an exclusive premiere of their new video. In case you’re too busy with your career as a high-powered attorney/financial planner or satisfying your 10/10 girlfriend’s insatiable desire for sex to watch, here’s the cliff notes:

  • Love the “venue” (presumably the banquet hall at some hotel in Naperville that was foolish enough to rent it out for a DIY hardcore show). Nothing says bigtime like carpeted floors, card tables and folding chairs!
  • Lots of fat guys in this video, with the worst offenders being the skinnyfat dude with pierced nipples and a ski mask (1:06) and The Incredible Bulk throwing at table so hard that his pants almost fall off (1:23). There’s even a token fat GIRL at :58 (the one in the sexy Batman tank). I know you guys in the midwest like to eat carby, cheesy stuff but come on, this is just straight up unpleasant to look at. Let’s get that BMI under control, ok guys? And no more moshing with your shirt off unless you have abs. It’s just common courtesy.
  • Kid with brutal farmer tan moshing shirtless at 2:25
  • Song goes pretty hard. I don’t normally endorse rappy vocals like the ones at 2:00, but I think they work in this case. Probably because there are a few black people in the video, and the presence of actual people people legitimizes what might otherwise be considered wiggerish behavior (“no man, it’s cool– look, we have a black guy in our crew!”).

Screen Shot 2014-07-17 at 1.54.22 PM

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , | 48 Comments

Fronz from ATTILA launches record label and signs a POP PUNK band

fronz111

Fronz, that’s cool and all, but when will you ever acknowledge my pop punk cover of About That Life??? I even named my hardcore band after u guys, plz acknowledge me Fronz.

True story: Fronz hooked up with the vocalist of my deathcore band’s girlfriend in like 2010. She cheated on him with Fronz lulz. Then the dude from my band went on Facebook and posted a bunch of angry status updates about it. Lmao. Priceless. Ever since then, I have had nothing but respect for the dude (Fronz, that is).

fronzmessage                               one of the many inspirational messages from Fronz

Is Old Again really about that life? Do they have what it takes to stand out amongst the thousands of other tr00 pop punk/soon-to-be soft grunge bands that all practically sound the same? Is Fronz pop punk?

Posted in announcements, pop-punk | Tagged , , , , , , | 25 Comments

ex-Fight Fair/This Time Next Year band releases tr00/hipster music video

It’s crazy to think that some members of Fight Fair are still playing music (wouldn’t they all be like 40 by now? I mean, Settle The Score EP came out 14 years ago) but here is this new vid from Chris of Fight Fair’s band “The Boys After” (also featuring the drummer from This Time Next Year). I think the song is pretty tight, and it’s cool to see the grassy field video is still alive.

what-do-you-think

Posted in new jamz | Tagged , , , | 6 Comments

this new T. MILLS track goes hard

With all of the gloomy music that exists within the scene nowadays, sometimes it’s easy to forget that there are still some people out there making feel-good party music, T. MILLS being one of them. You can add this track to Save Parker’s summer jams list. What happened to his gauges though? Where are you hiding, T. Mills gauges?

tmills1   RIP T. Mills’ gaugues

Posted in new jamz, pop | Tagged , | 14 Comments

ABOUT THAT LIFE release debut single “Fake Hardcore Kid”

atlhcIn a scene full of posers, where even the Real Hardcore bands seem fake, we have decided to take things to the next level and vanguard the new movement of Real Real Hardcore™®. And yeah, I know we have the same initials as All Time Low, IDGAF.

Here is our debut song, calling out all of the fakes and posers in the scene. If you like what you hear, go give us a like on Facebook. <3

Posted in bands 2 watch for, hardcore, new jamz | Tagged , , , , , | 28 Comments