The only thing I like more than Forever The Sickest Kids is shopping-- especially at popular mall retailers for teenagers. I definitely have several pairs of $250+ jeans, Versace ties, and Prada shoes in my closet, but that shit is only for when I have to hang out with No Fun Clubbers/middlebrows who overcompensate for being unpopular in high school by buying expensive-yet-boring clothes and trying to impress each other. I'd rather be getting wasted in my Hollister hoodie or moshing it up to some Winds of Plague with my New Era at a jaunty angle.
Only ass holes dress like tryhard fashionistas. Cool kids who like fun and kicking it with their friends (do you even have any??) shop at the mall. With that in mind, let Sergeant D, ShawnYouWillHate, and YeahYouKnowIt be your guides to looking (and feeling) your best in Spring 2K10 with this handy guide to what's hot and what's not. Print out a copy, take notes, and bring it with you on your next trip to the mall!
Longtime readers know that we are huge fans of Forever 21, whose selection is pretty much unparalleled. Whether you're a rich, slutty azn girl who drives a Lexus and needs a trashy little party dress for slutting it up at your local hip-hop club, an introspective, nerdy emo chick who wants something that quietly tells the world how much you like owls and kitty cats, or a fggty dude like me who likes trendy cheap shit that looks like Diesel but costs 90% less, Forever 21 has something for you! Here are a few of my favorites:
Boat necks are flattering on just about anybody, even if u "r a little bit on the porky side," and we love this nautical look!
The best thing about Forever 21 is that you can get stuff like this for $2.80-- less than the price of a large Red Bull!
Whether you're a scene girl or a blipster, you can't go wrong with a neon chartreuse, cropped pleather jacket!!
Forever 21 is also on the cute animals program for their girls' graphic tees. This one combines a kitty with a kyut bow AND stripes-- three things indie girls can't resist!! Oh, and it's a fucking v neck, so it might as well be crack for 19 yr olds who listen to Death Cab and pine for Michael Cera.
I won't lie, this kinda makes me want to vomit with rageAll in all, Forever 21 is pretty much the shit. You could probably buy your entire wardrobe there and look awesome, but it is a bit of a mixed bag in that they have some serious turds mixed in with the gems. Plan a few hours to sort through all the jumbled crap, especially if a crowd of teenagers have been through before you and tore the place up. The selection is great, but Delia's has them beat on quality.
Rating
3.5/5 flatirons
3.5/5 flatirons
I would be a bad friend and a shitty tastemaker if I didn't include Homage Clothing in this lookbook. You can think of them as all the good things about vintage sportswear (cool graphics, classic silhouettes), but none of the bad (skyhigh prices, bad fit). If u want to impress your friends with "things they don't know about yet but u already do," stock up on some Homage gear-- it's FIRE, bro!
This shirt speaks the truth. I stayed in Detroit for a weekend once for a Spazz show, and I heard gunshots at like 10AM on a Sunday *eep*
Nothing says "scene gear" like 80s references such as "sk8 or die." Note the Integrity/Project X font
I'm real into all of Homage's "Surf Ohio" shirts, genius!If you don't have a retailer near you, hit up the Homage online store and cop that shit! Tell em the Sarge sent you.
I first heard of Delia's when I lived with BloodyGuts. When she got the catalog, I would look through it to eyefuck the models in it (I was 18 at the time so it wasn't creepy). These days I'm just a fan of their clothes, but I like them more than ever. This popular tween retailer is making a big cute animal statement with their graphic tees, with some especially cute ones featuring animals in love (like the giraffes below-- they're boyfriend and girlfriend, awwww!).
Tiger cub says "RAWR DO U WANT 2 PLAY?!?!"
This little kitty is attempting the sexy librarian look... I'd hit it.
You can tell the one on the right is the girl because she is a pretty color
Aside from really nice graphics, Delia's assortment has really nice handfeel, with buttery-soft tees, water-based inks, and nice use of wash/spray to make them feel like your favorite piece of vintage. Hats off, Delia's!
Rating
4/5 flatirons
4/5 flatirons
I feel sorry for ppl in the midwest because u don't have leading action sports retailer Zumiez, which means you have to either buy your action sports gear at "some shithole mom-and-pop skate shop" that is never open and full of dickbags who "make u feel like u aren't cool enough to shop there" and are always out of stuff or worse, shop at Pac Sun. I would rather get herpes, AIDS, and cancer on the same day than set foot in Pac Sun, so it really hurts when I see midwestern teens who don't know any better buy their neon plaids there instead of Zumiez :(Aside from the usual assortment of "core action sports brands that establish their credibility," I am super stoked to see that Zumiez now carries core scene gear brand Glamour Kills. This is very cool b/c I heart GK, here's hoping that they pick up Crunk Kids, Rockett, and Cuttin Up Hookers too!
Wearing this shirt is a good way of telling the world you will fuck any guy who looks like he is in a band
Jesus fuck, what a denim fail!! Not only are they too short to wear with ballet flats, who the fuck wears BOOTCUT jeans in the 2k10 aside from guidos and Fox Racing bros?! Barf.
I'll always be a sucker for girls who wear buffalo plaids in bright colorways like this one. Wonder what the handfeel is like on these joints, tho???
I am also a sucker for girls in cute hoodies, like this simple but cool one from Glamour Kills. Would really like to see this one get some wash, grinding and destroy, though, to make it feel a little more worn-in. Also, the sleeves look a little baggy... but overall, super cute!
These Monster/DC hoodies should sell by the truckload in Riverside, New Jersey, Tacoma, Cleveland, and anywhere else there are large concentrations of stangry white ppl.
Moar DGK, less DC!I'll always be a Zumiez fan, but I feel like their spring selection is a little bit bro/downmarket. Leave the Fox Racing gear to Pac Sun (very popular with bros and posers) and focus on the core action sports brands that got you where you are!
Rating
2.5/5 flatirons
2.5/5 flatirons
Basically, Am Appy is the uniform for insecure, upper middle class kids with "rich parents who don't love them/were never around" and overcompensate by becoming uptight, pretentious hipsters/indie slutbags who fuck DJs/band dudes bc "they r doing something amazing with their lives." Oh, and because they manufacture everything in the US, their quality is fucking awful and the prices are laughably inflated.
O kewl, they got Kip from Napoleon Dynamite to model their ironic Sesame Street shirts
File under "bonerkillers," ugh. How about something a little sexier like some leggings and Uggs, baby?I respect AA for recognizing that most of the ppl who work at their stores have low self-esteem and using that as a way of convincing them to "model 4 free/cheap," but mb they could find girls who are more attractive?? I dunno I'm just kinda burned out on the "OTW hipster after a three-day coke binge look" ya know? (OTW = "other than white")
Rating
.5/5 flatirons
.5/5 flatirons
If you have been to a college or mall recently, it is nearly 100% certain that you've seen scores of hotties in Pink sweatpants and hoodies, usually accompanied by Uggs or flip-flops. I'm not into Victoria's Secret bc it's kinda cheesy (most of that shit looks like it was designed for the part in an 80s movie where the girl says "let me slip n2 something more comfy" and comes out in some ridic lace boustier or whatever), but Pink is basically the best thing ever if you want boys to think u are "open 4 business" without looking too overtly slutty.
This dip-dyed, slash neck hoodie looks as comfy as it is "open 4 biz"
DO WANT
Kyute bow + neon animal print = authentic scene gear
Pink, you've come a long way! Their undies are still the best, and their cut-and-sew gear is getting better all the time. Their fleece still isn't as good as A&F's, but nothing says "sweetly slutty" like a girl in some sweats that say "PINK" across the slightly-jiggly butt. SYWH fully endorses Pink!
Where do u get ur scenegear?? What are the most popular places for teens to hang out/shop/flirt at your mall? Are u "too uptight to wear things that mnstrmrs like"? What is ur favorite item in the SYWH SPRING 2K10 LOOKBOOK??
This dip-dyed, slash neck hoodie looks as comfy as it is "open 4 biz" 
DO WANT
Kyute bow + neon animal print = authentic scene gear
Pink, you've come a long way! Their undies are still the best, and their cut-and-sew gear is getting better all the time. Their fleece still isn't as good as A&F's, but nothing says "sweetly slutty" like a girl in some sweats that say "PINK" across the slightly-jiggly butt. SYWH fully endorses Pink!
Rating
4/5 flatirons
4/5 flatirons
Where do u get ur scenegear?? What are the most popular places for teens to hang out/shop/flirt at your mall? Are u "too uptight to wear things that mnstrmrs like"? What is ur favorite item in the SYWH SPRING 2K10 LOOKBOOK??
21 comments:
This site has slowly devolved into Sgt D simply hawking shit for the company he works for. Send Carles some of the A&F viral scrill as royalties.
This is a very useful post. When I'm recruiting girls for the next Goatbomb video and they ask how they should dress, I can just send them a link to this.
Favorite item is the chick wearing flannel. It hits a soft (hard) spot with me. I love them chicks in flannel.
Living by Riverside, I am fully aware of my bro status.
Its better then when I lived in the valley (the only one) and the armeanians were all over the place with their ed hardy, affliction, and used german cars.
You designed that Schism font shirt rite, Sarge?
Nope, not me. But it's cool!
Then I'm guessing this is what Dwid's graphic designer job led to?
Pictures, Sarge, of you wearing this stuff. And don't photoshop your real face out this time, kthx.
I am recovering from being an hXc tomboy and it's only over the last 2 years or so that I've realized it's ok to dress like a girl. I turn 30 in exactly one month and last weekend while in F21 at the mall (Ross Park, holler!), I said to my BF "How many years until I can't shop here anymore?" and he replied "3 years ago?". Ouch. That was a wake up call. Although I want to wear purple windbreakers that only cost me $13.50, I simply cannot anymore. I love disposable clothing, but it is indeed, disposable quality.
Needless to say, I shed a tear spending $110 on 3 items at J.Crew later that day, but feel like a grown up.
PS. I am cheap so anything over $20 is "expensive" to me. I basically wish I drove a brand new Volvo S40 and dressed like a Martin+Osa model- so you can understand this rude awakening.
uhmmm, this proves how old you people are, kids this days love american apparel and urban outfitters thats what the cool kids dress like now, like seriously all that "indie" "hipster" stuff is no longer indie or hipster, thats the new mainstream for kids who like to have fun. you guys are old and out of touch
LOL @ u! Urbn and Am Appy are for chicks with hairy pussies who fuck DJs and listen to electro-- AKA the No Fun Club. Keep on telling yourself you look rad in your terrycloth, highwaisted overall shorts, we'll be listening to Fight Fair and kicking it with some chicks at Wet Seal.
LOLOL you know I got ur back on this one Sarge!
Marne, don't give up and start wearing ugly clothes for boring ppl! Sure I can dress like an adult for funerals or smth, but I'm old too and when I started a crunkcore band I finally found a place where I could wear all my ridic loud shirts, hoodies and puffy vests!
"LOL @ u! Urbn and Am Appy are for chicks with hairy pussies who fuck DJs and listen to electro-- AKA the No Fun Club. Keep on telling yourself you look rad in your terrycloth, highwaisted overall shorts, we'll be listening to Fight Fair and kicking it with some chicks at Wet Seal."
then again shows how old and out of touch you are, also bigman digs UO thats where he gets his denim, seriously hipster is the new mainstream and i don't see how fucking djs and dancing to electro is not fun, shit rocks, have fun pretenidng to be young listening to forever the sickest kids while i jam the blood beetroots on my way to a 3oh3! show with my hipster clad GF, seriously you are getting old and out of touch.
Holy fuck, this site went downhill fast.
Hahah this post reminds me of my closet! I'll admit I'm guilty of owning a FEW AA pieces, but generally find their quality to be shitty as fuck -- they might wanna consider exporting their shit back to the sweatshops mb :/
Anywhoooo, this post made my day becuz it completely validated the way I dress every day and made me feel like it was okay to still care about how I look past the age of 25. Keep up the posting bro -- it's nice being on the fun side of life now!
Holy fuck, this site went downhill fast. [2]
"Holy fuck, this site went downhill fast. [3]"
Is it possible that whoever runs AA finally did TOO much coke?
Seriously their line for this year is fucking terrible.
but I wont deny that my Murder City Devils shirt is an AA shirt and fuckin comfy as all get-out.
Haha, exactly-- a few too many lines and an obviously terrible idea seems like ZOMG THE BEST IDEA EVAR to your self-absorbed, coked-up mind.
Their blank t-shirts are the best thing they make, and even those are no longer very distinctive. I'll give them credit where it's due: when they first started making blanks, they were the shit and def set a new standard for merch. That said, these days you can go to any mall retailer and get a shirt that fits just as well with equal or better handfeel for a lot less $$
Oh, and the people who work/shop there are fucking insufferable douchelords
I'm no expert but if my local Hot Topic/Food Court is anything to go by, items of American Apparel, especially those fucking hoodies seem to be the de rigeur frock for kids with really tight pants & glam rock hair. There's also those comment strings on various HRO posts whining about how uncool "scene tweens" have 'ruined" AA via their recent association with it.
I'm a class warrior so I'd like to side against the disco biscuits(who, rumors aside, appear to be having a blast) but there's not enough of a strata difference (Upper Middle Class Suburbanite vs. Trust Fund Manhattanite) to matter to me. Also I have to deduct points from the scene kidz due to the fact that so many of their notable items of fashion/style of late; the skinny jeans, the headbands, the neon, the fucking keffiyehs etc. look as if they were ripped right out of some random Hollertronix/Valerie Records cokehead dance party in Williamsburg circa 2006.
I suppose it's hard to distinguish who the "cool" kids are these days. AA stopped being cool about 4 years ago when it popped up in every middle sized city and then started being publicly traded (boy was I wrong about that stock being worth anything!). I like pretty plain shit, so I def get stoked on them having no bells & whistles, but the quality IS absolute shit and since they pay their garment workers a nice wage, its pricier than your common mall stuff.
I feel that I am somewhat in touch with what kids are into, I just think that I'm starting to not give a shit anymore or want to hang on to my youth by dressing like a teenager from LA.
I've always been a boring dresser (ask Sarge), I would just rather look like I'm on a breezy-ass yacht instead of like I'm some faggot with a "fixie".
Post a Comment