Well okay, mb not all of that is true, but I recently came across a scary article on some site called Consumer Reports that I guess white ppl care about, so I should too. I trust the info I found because it’s a .org, which means smart people wrote it. The article talks about how skinny jeans r hella dangerous for you. I don’t wanna bore u with too many facts but apparently my beloved skinnies cause lots of bad medical shit to happen, like nerve damage and blood clots.... ouchy ://
Don’t let the Lord down, Confide. God wants you to make little straight-haired babies – once ur married, of courseScene boys have it the worst – it’s been proven that skin-tight pants on dudes have led to infertility issues. This means you can’t make babies!
I know scene queens everywhere are thinking “ewww, pregnant = fatties” but come on girls, we can’t be so selfish. U kno that one day u want 2 buy neon Chucks for ur little guy nd change diapers out the back of ur bfs Dodge Durango in the parking lot of Warped Tour. And I dunno, but I don’t even want 2 think abt a whole generation being forced 2 grow up in a world devoid of coon stripes and RAVE :((((
mb it’d be a good thing if Trace Cyrus couldn’t procreate.. we already have an overpopulation of horses in North America :// So what should we do? Tell scene boys to size up @ F21 and give the goods some room 2 breath?? R U scared that you haven’t heard about this before? Do u wonder what else ‘the governments’ aren’t telling u? Do you think that if this information was more ‘well known to the masses,’ scene boys would start using skinny jeans as birth control? Is this a ‘sign from the Jesus’ that guys shouldn’t be wearing girl pants?
14 comments:
i just thought my ballz were black n blue from all the scene poon i wuz gettin. zoinkz! :(
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Alena
http://ovarianpain.net
No way, this is a great loophole in the "No birth control" stance the Catholic church and Evangelicals get off on (PUN FULLY FUCKING INTENDED.) Baby Jesus doesn't want any Jr. Moshcore cadets falling out of any 13 year old wombs and wearing condoms is soOOOoooOOO 1998, like can whites even GET aids anymore??!?
It's a win/win for 16 year old warriors 4 christ who want to smash guts with underage hotties, praise Jesus AND not end up with a little moshling afterwards.
@Ryan This is like my dream comment! A+++
Scene guys infertile? My prayers are answered.
On another note, I think your next review should be Cro-Mags "Age of Quarrel." Sarge, send a copy her way, will ya?
Dear Confide,
I have straight hair too. Give me a call when you want to marry me. All or none, tho.
Kthxbye.
PS. Are xtians down with polygamy?
@ryan. best comment i've ever read on any blog ever.
1. "jr moshcore" cadets = brilliant
2. "genital constriction" = my new favorite tag
"PS. Are xtians down with polygamy?"
Only Mormons, and the jury is still out on whether they are tr00 xians or not
so we have arrived at the idea that the boys albeit fans of looking like the lady types in tight pants are destroying their said "boys" but my question. Is it a matter of the tight jeans or just the crabcore, because there is a small bit of room to hang out, but when you said "getting low" that to mee seems like the culprit of all the man damage and sensless genocide of boy parts and maleish( scene boys arent really dudes...) idenity.
Two Questions we are left wondering
Only Mormons, and the jury is still out on wether they are tr00 xians or not
is it the tight jeans or the crabcore destroying the self decribed br00t4l kids of today?
@Marne Yeah girl! Joel Piper is my ultimate xtian crushh. His faves are Chip Ahoy and Transformers, FYI (for realz)
xx
@Sergeant D This is true, although the are representing Christ in big ways -- check the JESUS CHRIST collarbone tat on Ross and the HE>i tat sported by Joel (which is now a HUGE movement amongst the God-fearing scene kids who "just want sumthing 2 believe in"
u just let ur jeans sag down like popular african-american rap/rock and roll star "lil wayne".
Hey there, I'm a certified old and I can tell you for a fact that tight jeans CAN fuck your shit all up (we wore 'em in the 80's). My nuts were OK but I had weird leg spasms because I pinched off the nerve in my leg somewhere. It's always OK for girls, though, they're genetically predisposed to wearing ultra-tight pants.
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