The latest band to copy Norma Jean riffs in the name of Christ is Massachusetts’ own AUBURN. There’s no shortage of bands in that vein, so nothing to see here, right?? Wrong: ONE OF THEM IS A GODDAMN MIDGET! I know it’s horrible to make fun of people for things like that but come on…… you can’t expect me to leave this one alone. I could try to write more about this dreadful band, but, well, what would be the point? I can’t say anything that the photos don’t!
[Thanks to reader Macks Chyolds for the tip!]
LOL @ the well-behaved Christians in the crowd forming a tidy little line at the edge of the carpet in front of the band
The best part is that the non-midget members of the band look even MORE fucked up. Is that Al from Tool Time in the burgundy sweater??
Someone tell midget-bro that white belts haven’t been cool since MySpace was relevant [via Allston, MA in 2004].
Aw, look– he’s acting just like a normal person! But look at his chubby little elbows, and his little pants, and those cute little shoes!!
Why is the singer so lumpy?? They all look like they’ve been badly photoshopped.
I think this is Al from Tool Time attempting to have ‘kool rocker guy/scene hair’
Who gave the lawn gnome a guitar??
Don’t you just want to squeeze his little head?? Do you think it makes a squeeky noise??Am I an ass hole for making fun of these bros? Is it justified because they are ‘cheesy Christians who play in a shitty metalcore band’?? Would u be in a band with ‘a little person’? Do u think he gets a lot of tail? [via groupie mercy fucks]
Do they have a song called "I don't think so Tim"?
For some reason all little people look the same to me. Same with people that have down syndrome…
As a bass player i'm saddened to say that the moment i saw Al's photo, it was clear to me that he's the bass player. wtf?! why are bass player always fat rejects?!
wtf is up with all these christian american bands. What happen to the American nightmare era. I miss those days.
btw. I wounder if it is harder for little ppl to be scene then for the rest.
it is not harder for little people to be scene because they can still shop in the childrens department and wear all the kewl power rangers and tmnt retro gear. also, the little dude goes by the name "mini vinny"
There was a band from Michigan in the late 90s/early 00s with a midget bass player, and now I can't remember their name.
lol @ 0:46 in the video. That's why you shouldn't have a midget in your band.
Remember, Helga, you can never have enough big white belts.
Al is probably the midget's dad. these ARE christians here
I'm not even go crazy cos' of the midget but of the bad music and the rockstar clapping in the beginning of the song! So gay, i can't even find words for it. Checked their site and they are twittering about being drunk and barhopping… Could someone please give me reference in the bible? Back in the days the guitar player would have been some kind of cage creature people had to pay to throw stones at. I guess in Texas it's still the same…
Back in the days the guitar player would have been some kind of cage creature people had to pay to throw stones at
lololololol
As a longtime reader (but infrequent commenter) I gotta say that this whole post deserves a FAIL for giving in to the easiest, laziest jokes you could possibly make (outside of maybe fat jokes, which you make elsewhere, and are actually kind of clever about).
I read the whole post expecting it would take some kind of turn, maybe shift gears and morph into a rundown of famously misshapen / handicapped rockers (Ronnie James Dio, dude from Rose Tattoo, dude from Midnight Oil, Moulty (the drummer from the Barbarians), and of course the patron saint of handi-capable rockers, Rick Allen….that's a good start for ya!) or at least swing around to become a solid part of the whole meta-fanboy/culture critic editorial voice that this site does so well. But, no. Just some lame garden gnome jokes that sound like you scribbled them down while you were watching a Jeff Dunham routine on Comedy Central.
So: no more lazy cop-out posts, right? Because yr better than that.
Also: I am not a midget, dwarf, or any kind of handicapped / "special" person….but I am an old (sort of), so if this comment sounds like it's coming from the Chairman Emeritus of the No Fun Club, that's probably why.