I’ll just come out and say it: I’m calling bullshit on The Millionaires’ whole act. I’ve fucked/gotten high/partied with a lot of crazy, fucked up girls who try to numb the pain of getting molested/beaten/ignored by their parents by doing tons of drugs and fucking as many sketchy older/black/tattooed guys as possible, so I know a trainwreck when I see one, and I’m not buying it.

I mean, WHERE ARE THE NUDES???? It just doesn’t add up. They are seemingly the only scene girls on the planet who don’t have pictures of their tits, pussies, and buttholes on the internet– even the mega-uptight Kiki Kannibal has nudes out there! If they do as many drugs and fuck as many guys as they claim to, surely someone would have tweeted a picture of Melissa’s asshole at some point.

I’m sure they’ll try to say that their game is so tight that boys love/want them too much to share butthole pics, but I can tell you from firsthand experience that once the booze, blow and pills come out nobody knows what the fuck is happening and snapping a few n00dz is never, ever a problem. And a REAL slut/trainwreck, in a moment of drunken loneliness/low self-esteem, would definitely quench her thirst for male attention by at least tweeting her tits.

Let’s all tweet Melissa tell her it’s time to put up or shut up– TITS OR GTFO. Actually, I’m as ass man, so I would prefer a butthole pic, but I’ll compromise. Melissa, I will always love you, but we can’t be together unless you keep it real with me. Now let’s see that butthole.

What do you guys think?? Are Millionaires actual trainwrecks/sluts, or just pretending? Are you a heavyweight fuckup like me who can smell a crazy bish from a mile away? Would you rather see tits or butthole?

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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  1. Jermey Waters says:


  2. tom cash says:

    I hate how attractive I find Melissa Millionaire. That said, you may be on to something. I’ve gotten nudes from way less “trainwrecky” girls. Put up or shut up.

  3. Cunt Demolishment says:

    First thing I did -> google: kiki kannibal nudes

  4. I know we’ve had many a conversation on this very subject, SD, but I concur. At least one dude who wasn’t a “good guy” has to have some noodz lying around..

  5. KVN_HFN says:

    She’s hot and n00dz would rock, and yeah totally, I’ve got n00dz of girls sooo much classier.

  6. Dr. Unk Phd says:

    NBHNC seconded!!

  7. Alex_P says:

    Actually, I’m fine with the lack of n00dz. I’m surprised at all the people attracted to her. She just strikes me as the type of girl who sluts herself out so she feel good about herself. It’s like the dude who fucks fat chicks: you aren’t a player, you just lack standards. Learn the difference.

  8. Mongorian says:

    D, i uv met her shouldnt u be telling us???

  9. Some awesome guy says:

    Dude. Butthole would be sick. Brown eye for the white guys

  10. you're an idiot says:

    I’m not sure they’ve ever said they have daddy issues and they do party a lot. I know that first hand. And the fucking a lot of guys shit is for the songs. Melissa’s in a serious relationship and Allison’s not a whore. No one likes Dani so she can suck a fat one.

  11. beautykiller says:

    ok they r not whores or slutes some girls like to mess around but that doesnt mean they r whores? JUst how guys like for fuck every girl that walks by them girls like to mess around and have fun i see no problem in that and they have no nudes maybe becuz they dont want shit going around????i love dani melissa and allison and its their life and they can do whatever they want unless ur name is dani gore melissa green or allison green stfu cuz these girls r amazing Its like that song not myself tonight by christina aguilera when u drink u r a totally different person than usual and i dont see anything wrong with these girls. Unlike lindsey lohan i see no nudes, no sex tapes(paris hilton), or any of that shit so leave em alone! I’m sure u wouldn’t want someone talkin about u the same way? or wait maybe ur jealous cuz u cant get them or be like them? Like they say in their song “Talk Shit” “talk shit to us u fuckin haterz ur the ones who fuckin made us, so shut ur mouth or i’ll cut ur tongue back down bitch ur fucken dumb………………..You think this shit just comes easy?
    Lets see you try you fucking beezy
    Lets see your band make number one
    Back down bitch you’re fucking done” if u want to comment me find me at

  12. Skyler says:

    The Millionaires have said before that the things they say in their songs, and the way they act, is just their stage presence. They aren’t really slutty drug-addicts. From what I’ve heard and seen, they’re actually very sweet, smart, family oriented, and have long-time boyfriends. Obviously they don’t have nudes around because they respect themselves. I DO know, though, that they smoke weed and drink, but that’s not bad. I’m sure they’ve sent nudes to their boyfriends, of course.

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