The “Downtown Battle Mountain 2″ tour made a stop in my hood last night, and I went to the show for one thing and when thing only– To claim my macbook from Jonny Craig.
Here’s what went down…
I rolled up to the venue later than I probably should of, as I had a pretty hard time trying to find parking close to the venue. What? It was cold. I immediately went to the first person I saw with a tour lanyard and told them I was running late for a scheduled interview with Dance Gavin Dance. I was then informed that everyone was “unavailable”. I said “okay” and walked over to another guy with a lanyard. He told me to wait one second and he vanished into a row of buses/vans/storage trailers. About 30 seconds later he reappeared with the man of the hour Mr. Jonny Craig…
Doing hard drugs like a real man. amirite?
KOLGATE: Hey! I’m Kolgate for stuffyouwillhate.com
Jonny: Hey man sorry I’m late, I was a little busy.
KO: No worries bro, I was late too.
(keep in mind this was not a scheduled interview at all)
KO: Enjoying Cleveland so far?
JC: yeah man, It’s been very nice, the snow kinda sucks though.
KO: really? I thought you loved snow?
JC: …What do you mean? I hate snow. haha, it’s so cold.
KO: yeah, I guess that makes it hard to wear a nice deep V right?
JC: what are you talking about man?
KO: anyways, does it feel good to be touring with DGD again?
JC: yeah man, for sure! these guys are like my brothers and to be bac..
KO: I’m gonna cut you off really quick, what are your thoughts on Clevelands snow?
JC: okay.. i mean, it’s cold and i don’t really like it..
KO: have you gotten any snow balls since you’ve been here?
(awkward silence)
JC: ..are you asking me if I’ve done any drugs here man?
(more awkward silence)
KO: so, uhm.. will you sign my macbook?
JC: …really?
(shakes his head in disbelief and walks away)
God doesn’t care about gingers.
FUCK I LOL’D
shoulda talked to the boys from close to home, they are cool ass people.
If this actually happened, you are a god.
Oh, it really happened. I troll IRL all day everyday. Some people watch TV or masterbate… I troll. I have a post coming up displaying the various lol-trolls of my past, keep checking back for that.
KOL, you are a friggin’ geniuz!!
HAHAHA
BELLY LOLS
I lol’d hard XD
SON, I AM PROUD
This is incredible. Good to see he didn’t have a sense of humor, even when the jokes weren’t soaring over his head.
Fuck i spaced on this, i wanted to see big chocolate.
Awesome work!!!
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Re read this for the 4th time, and its hand down my fav post on this site.
Is KOLGATE still around on here?
I’m still here, havn’t really had time to write to much lately though. Working on a few records and such. I’ll be submitting something soon, i’m sure.
I only just discovered this…
LOL’D extremely hard.
discovered this gem via your comment.
amazed. lolled like a retard
hes so awesome but seems like a major douchebag. nice work.