One of the many things I hate about women is their incessant complaining. Whether it’s the heat, that the sandwich they just got doesn’t have enough mustard on it, how the girl who sits next to them at work chews her gum too loudly, or God knows what else, women are always fucking complaining about something. I can accept whining from women because it’s just in their nature, and plus they let us have sex with them, but there’s nothing worse than a man who complains like a girl.
For example, The Wonder Years. I’m not trying to hate, because they seem like nice guys, but I have to call it like I see it: their lyrics are beta as fuck. I can handle a little angst (ala Blink-182) but fuck, reading these lyrics makes me feel like I’m listening to Jesse Eisenberg tell his gym teacher he needs to be excused from class today because his gluten allergies are flaring up.
A few selections:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBBXXrU7dw0
Don’t Let Me Cave In
I circled the airport a hundred times
and tried to hide the fact that I was crying
I came in on the red eye
That’s why I look like this
There comes a day when you rectify
who you are with who you want to be with
And I can’t make the two things co-exist
So don’t let me cave in
This part is about crying because “you don’t know who you are.” Selection from the diary of an unpopular 8th grade girl, or lyrics to a punk song?? Hard to say.
Coffee Eyes
I ended up here late at night on Thanksgiving
The fall that Colleen left
This was a place to call home
When it felt like the world didn’t want us
I watched Mike slash Mon’s tires
We laughed about it later
I watched friendships dissolve
In the booth on the back wall
I cut my hand on a piece of glass
And I hope the scar lasts
Dear God… “I hope the scar lasts??” Sounds like the name of a Tumblr for fat girls who cut themselves. I can totally see these lyrics poorly photoshopped over a picture of a girl’s arm that’s crisscrossed with scars from self-inflicted wounds.
My Last Semester
I’m not sad anymore, I’m just tired of this place.
The homophobic bullshit that’s somehow okay
Just because you didn’t mean it that way.I can’t take anymore of all the scum in this place.
Shitty dudes with tribal tattoos all around,
Lining up cheap beer and roofies for a party at their place.
Trying to convince freshmen they’re somebody
By spending all of their parents’ money on kegstands
And Matt says I don’t fit in.All this mallrat goth shit is killing me.
Thought that would end with high school at least.
But there are still kids and Matt says
“College hit those dudes like a ton of bricks.”
Where do I even start?? First of all, the basic premise of this song is “wah wah I don’t like anybody I go to college with,” aka “my pussy hurts.” Not sure what’s more embarrassing: white knighting about “homophobic bullshit” or getting butthurt about “mallrat goth shit.” And what kind of a college dude isn’t into kegstands, parties, and banging as many sluts as possible?!
They sound exactly like Simple Plan. Except slightly better. Which isn’t hard.
Actually, these guys kind of remind me of a far superior band called The Ataris. They, too, were whiny regarding their white suburban life, but they were GOOD at it.
I hear alot of Brand New’s Your Favorite Weapon in these guys. Maybe they will mature into boring alt/indie rock too.
Underrated post
Post of the century, bombonthebus.
Very likely theyll become dadrockers in 2-5 years
Just quoted some of that on Tumblr cuz I love them and I’m heartbroken. Thx bro.
Jeez Sarge, lay off. Just cause you’re cynical and old and have forgotten things like “feelings,” and how tired you are of “mallrat goth shit” doesn’t mean these bros aren’t legit. They’re just writing about life, man. They’re writing about life, and sometimes, sometimes life hurts.
Hahahahaha – nice one!
i like the music OK and they seem like nice kids but man… i can’t handle it. this is what happens when kids from the philly suburbs go to college on their parents’ dime- I think they should go work construction for a while, and tell the guys on his crew (most likely 35 year-olds who just got out of prison for trying to buy crack from an undercover) about how they “didn’t fit in” at college and couldn’t stand the “malrat goths.”
I’m from Philly/the Philly burbs and I’d be the 35 year old in that story.
But I do like The Wonder Years
I like these guys, but can never get really into them, and it might be because I like college and I’m not relating to any of this at all.
That last song is really, really funny to me considering they went to the same college as I did. Pretty effing right on. Their one song title “Dude, What’s a Land Pirate Anyway?” was inspired by the sub-par mascot.
OMG thank you. This band is way too overhyped. Their not bad but just not as great as people have been making them out to be. It’s just not as loud and fast enough for me like set your goals or four year strong or catchy enough like blink 182 and new found glory. These guys sound like a mix of taking back Sunday and simple plan aka 2 very boring bands just like these guys. And what’s wrong with mall rat goth stuff? Those people are much Better than douchy preps and hipsters
Emmure username
“And Matt says I don’t fit in.”
And Matt’s right! Losers don’t fit in.
I preferred them when they were ripping off Four Year Strong on their first album. Their last two albums – since they decided to start ripping off Simple Plan – have sucked.
None of these bands play easycore anymore because all the butthurts in their scene have them convinced it is immature and ADTR is for 13 yr olds.
Ha! I actually listened to to their new album yesterday on my headphones while I was mowing the lawn. Didn’t finish it because it sounded like a less catchy version of their last one. Also, it was too hot to finish the lawn mowing (white people problems).
So tumblr relevant too :
“Say, say you’ll stay in with me today.
Say, say you’ll stay.”
-this party sucks
i still like them. Exept for their acoustic sessions, theyre painful to watch.
The college one describes the EXACT opposite of why I’m not enjoying college, ie people not partying enough, being ‘mallrat goths’ or using homophobic insults. feelsbadman
I wish more people thought like this
lol at you guys being butthurt over changing times.
Atleast they’re not being douchey faggots and singing about the beach/drinking slurpees. I’d rather listen to lyrics like this that describe real life shit and tell a story while keeping to some decent pop punk instrumentals/melodies
you do realize this is almost a year old comment you’re replying to?
Totally agreed- but I really like the music! And they are so much better than Simple Plan!
Plus the dude who wrote the lyrics is edge. No wonder he’s boring as shit.
Needs more blastbeats
holy shit these lyrics are pretty bad. why do they care about mallrat goth kids?? wtf?
“coffee eyes”? way to disgrace one of the best capn j songs
I love that song about the Kool-Aid man wanting to beat up Captain Crunch for fucking his wife.
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You’re taking the lyrics completely out of context. What about the next line in Coffee Eyes, “so I don’t forget that there’s been a table for me there.” he’s not saying he wants the scars to last because he’s a whiny emo fat chick. He wants the scar to last so he remembers the good times he has had and he remembers where he came from. Their lyrics portray real life thoughts that we all have. The reference to “mallrat goth shit” and “homophobic bullshit” isn’t “butthurt,” it’s pointing out the lack of maturity in his peers. Don’t Let Me Cave In is lyrically one of the most heartfelt and honest songs written in years. Sounds to me like the author of this article is too much of a “war-hardened” Internet soldier to remember what emotions are. That, or they never got past that whole “only women are allowed to have complex thought” stage of life where all that matters is beer and trash talk.
Sounds like you’re a pussy too
People who use “Heartfelt” while White Knighting = never not funny
Yeah man, I thought the same about this article. Most of the lyrics he talked about here were not portraying what the lyrics actually mean. Sure some of it is whiny, but that is why people like it. People like being able to relate to something.
Sarge! I legit just posted about this on my generally beta as fuck blog! I said like exactly the same but less funny…
You remind me of a typical college douchebag who doesnt take the time to look at shit and actually listen the lyrics arent whinny or bitchy he is just writing about life the fact that you wrote this proves half the shit they say in my last semester that the whole college thing is made up of homphobic douchbags and people like you