IMO the best genre of humor is “inane statement of fact”– for example, the description on my DVR of Jackass: “A group of nitwits play practical jokes on each other.” I am also a big fan of stock photo descriptions. There is nothing more hilarious to me than a picture of a fat white lady with the caption “Studio portrait of overweight woman.” But what if you want to buy a stock photo of something cooler than a chubby white mom? What if you wanted SCENE STOCK PHOTOS? Here is what is might look like:
Young man standing near pillars in a t-shirt with a controversial slogan printed on it
Asking Alexandria lyrics pulsating quickly
Chubby vocalist in urban-inspired clothing stands at the center of an empty stage
Shapely bottom in grandma underwear
Black and white photograph of band playing passionately despite sparse attendance
Mirror image photo of a chubby teen wearing a t-shirt that reads “I <3 GRIND CORE”
Musician exchanges a meaningful embrace with a member of the audience
Extremely hot girls’ body with poorly-executed tattoos and tacky underwear
Cybergothic female with broken english text
Deathcore artist performing to crowd of American teens with low self-esteem
Tumblr user
What SCENE STOCK PHOTOS would you like to purchase? Do you think ‘inane statement of fact’ jokes are as funny as I do??? How would you feel if you were the person described as ‘overweight white woman’??
“Inane statement of fact” humor is great. Lol @ the tumblr user!
lol!
Black and white photograph of band playing passionately despite sparse attendance.jpg
^ my fave
This and the meaningful embrace got me good.
See any entry-level SXE band for ‘meaningful embraces’
“We are all in this together bros!!!”
it’s funny because nobody is in it together.
That fat fuck’s shirt makes me SO FUCKING MAD, for reasons that are probably obvious. This post was insanely funny though – I share your love for inane statements of obvious facts, and your use of the word “urban-inspired” always makes me laugh hard
the worst part about that shirt is that its a dr.acula shirt there for its not grind core haha
Exactly, that’s why I hate it… deathcore bands co-opting grind :(
I had a similar idea for a post, but it was the porn portrayal of scene.
Ya know like when the “actress” plays punk or goth but they aren’t in real life. I wonder if there has been an innacurate scene version yet.
well there as the inverse of this, when Amor Hilton did that super creepy casting couch vid…
Brazzers has a few lulzy ‘emo’ girl scenes. It should be about five years before anything mainstream catches on in this humor.
I google searched scene bro to find a generic scene kid picture, had to go to the second page and it was from SYWH. Searched ‘Scene faggot’ and found some all over the first page.
“Searched ‘Scene faggot’ and found some all over the first page”
google’s search algorithm ftw
“Asking Alexandria lyrics pulsating quickly” …Pretty sure The Acacia Strain had those lyrics before asking alex?
i think about 900934 bands have used that line (right up there with “how can you save the world if you cant even save yourself” and “stabbed in the back”)
IDK – kinda into the fat chick’s facial expression? Assuming she’s taking off those pants….
I work for a stock company writing those descriptions. Inane Statement Of Fact is the best way to optimize titles for Google. Plus it’s funny.
“woman laughing with salad”
This is the funniest way to misname reaction images as well. That’s some high-brow imageboard humor right there.
If you haven’t already, IMMEDIATELY turn the captions on for your television. Nothing is more hilarious than stating obvious facts that destroy drama, and that is basically closed captions in a nut shell.
“Music swells dramatically.”
“Passionate crying.”
* ominous sounds coming from locked doors *
I thought that Scene Stock was a scene version of Woodstock.
omg pic of TO EACH HIS OWN
they rule
Lol I know that triple six girl, she’s a big juggalette
you missed a picture of two dudes with side swept bangs kissing