Anon asked (via my Tumblr): hey brah, do you consider straight edge beta?
The short answer is YES, but not for the reasons you might expect. Let me explain…
As much as I personally love being drunk and/or high, there are plenty of good reasons not to drink or use drugs. In fact, I was straightedge until I was 21, and it was probably for the best– I mean, I did so many retarded, embarrassing and dangerous things sober that I can only imagine what might have happened if I was drinking! For example, when I was 19 and had never even consumed a drop of alcohol, I found myself in Passaic, NJ at 3AM writing graffiti with some people I had never met. We ended up getting chased by random ghetto people two or three times that night, and I’d say that if we were drunk/high, there’s a good chance we would have ended up catching a beating or possibly even getting shot if we got mouthy (as drunk people often do).
This tattoo will be awesome when he is like 28, drunk off his ass at the bar and his friends are like “Dude, show us your tattoo again!! I’ll buy you a shot!” and they all high five him and laugh about how stupid they were 10 years ago
So yeah, there are many, many good reasons to be sober, especially if you are in high school and your brain is already under the influence of teenage hormones (which should be enough to have you classified as functional retarded IMO). What’s beta is making a huge deal out of it and being an annoying shithead who won’t shut up about your gay little “crew.” If you don’t drink, that’s cool- I mean, obviously it will make it way harder for you to get laid and everybody’s going to think you’re a pussy, but whatever, that’s your choice. But why make such a fucking production out of it?? I don’t like cashews, but you don’t see me running around in a t-shirt with a drawing of a cashew on it with a knife stuck through that says “FUCK YOUR VILE NUTS” on a banner underneath. Basically, it’s beta as fuck to have excessively strong opinions about anything, especially if your whole identity revolves around making a huge deal about NOT doing something.
The only awesome thing to come out of stupid kids making a big deal out of not getting high is the Project X 7″, which is easily one of the top 10 hardcore records ever recorded in addition to having some of the lulziest lyrics of all time. From the first track, “Straight Edge Revenge”: “I’m as straight as the line that you sniff up your nose / And I’m as hard as the booze that you swill down your throat/ I’m as bad as the shit you breathe into your lungs / And I’ll fuck you up as bad as the pill on your tongue!!”