As you may know, Kickstarter is a digital panhandling site that allows people to beg for money to fund their art projects. It’s very popular with artsy white fggts who are looking for money to start their artisanal saltwater taffy stand or “hella bitter seltzer cart,” but who would have thought we’d see MILLIONAIRES on there?? Yet here they are, trying to raise $10,000 to record their debut LP:
Hiiiii! We’re Melissa Marie & Allison Green (yes, we’re sisters!) & we are the “DirtyPop/Electro” duo known as MILLIONAIRES. Ever since we started the band back in ’07, we have done EVERYTHING ourselves. Our fans have been patiently waiting years for us to put together a full length album, & we don’t want them to wait any longer! The only problem is (especially with no label/management support & everything we do is “DIY” & out-of-pocket) paying for producers, recording time, & making physical cd copies for distribution is obviously severely costly. We’re not “millionaires” yet ;)
- MILLIONAIRES Y U NO HAVE MONEY 2 RECORD?! But real talk, if they don’t have a label or management, you have to figure it’s because they are impossible to work with [via hot, dumb girls from Orange County]
- I love that they bill themselves as a DIY band, mostly because it will make a few people raeg who still take “DIY” seriously
- Allison looks way more smashable than Melissa. When did this happen?! Melissa, U JELLY????
Also, the prizes are kind of amazing:
I’ve gotten several replies from Melissa, and all I do is discuss whether she is smashable or not. Don’t pay for that shit, just make fun of her and she will reply for free.
Seriously considering paying for this one, only because a) I make that in about 35 minutes and b) I can only imagine the sinking “Oh fuck, THIS guy…” feeling in their stomachs when they get on Skype with me (would probably wear a trollface mask, just to be safe).
Melissa in army pants and flip flops?? Groce :( Miniskirt and tube top, please.
Seriously can’t believe someone bought this AND that they are only offering one! I’ll knit scarves all day for $190 a pop.
Please god, tell me some 45 year-old creep with yellow fever bought this. And not sure which is more funny/embarrassing: how desperate for attention the person is how bought this, or how desperate for cash the girls are for selling it…
Keyword = “maybe”. Text from Melissa after recording your “feature”: “Um yeah we r still trying to figure out what songs r gonna be on the album ill let u know!! xoxo”
“Hay Melissa this is Sergeant D let’s go to Claim Jumper in Laguna Niguel” = $375 well spent
The punchline?? THEY GOT THE MONEY.