Ok – we’ve covered how being a loudmouth SXE kid is basically beta as fuck – so what happens when you’ve been SXE for ‘most of your life’ (6 months) and you want to break edge? There is *nothing* more annoying than the ex-SXE kids that go nuts, get insanely drunk and act like 12 year olds… so I thought I’d write up some lessons on how to break edge and maintain your (relative) cool.
Booze simply makes social gatherings easier – it’s a win/win substance… either it will turn your socially awkward ass into a smooth party machine, or you will be too buzzed/drunk to remember what an ass you made of yourself – often both!
Once you’ve decided to break > covered up that ill thought out XXX tattoo > actually located a party to attend and decided you will be drinking booze it’s best to be a little prepared – here’s some pro tips:
Beer – it’s generally high in carbs and calories, and low in alcohol – you drink a ton, feel bloated as shit and get chubby as fuck. Srs – this is how many chicks go into their ballooning stage. I personally like chubby chicks that pull the look off – so don’t consider this a reason to avoid beer!
beer can really pay off - try getting that sober! Srs!
Entry Level Beer – most of the beer you encounter at any given party will be low quality. PBR (Pabst Blue Ribbon) is very ‘blue collar’/popular with hipsters/IKEAcore folk, but it tastes just like Bud/Coors/Miller/etc. These have low alcohol content so you usually need a lot to get drunk.
Mid-level Beer – Heineken, Killian’s Red, Guinness – usually more expensive and slightly better tasting than entry level stuff. Drinking this stuff is a good excuse not to drink too much (tho it usually has the same alcohol content as entry level stuff). Every Irish bro wants to chug Guinness, but it’s heavy & you will quickly start puking – trust me (from experience). Poor people think this kind of beer is ‘really livin’/hipsters think it’s not ironically poor enough.
edge break 2011! (more like 1998) - mad reppin' Fitchburg State! <3 u pic!
Advanced Level Beer – Any micro-brewery/over $7 a six-pack is pretty advanced stuff. It usually has a pronounced taste – 99% of the time bitter/dark. Can also have a higher alcohol content (even up to 9%) – it’s not meant to be drunk hanging around other idiots… more for ‘drinking with meals’ and other non-partying usages. Also – people ‘into’ this level beer are fuckin’ lame.
Wine – It may have been cool in the ’90s to show up to a party with your own bottle of wine, but now avoid at all costs.
so gross...
Malt Liquor – For urban inspired drinks you can get some malt liquor, usually in beer flavored 40s. Gross as fuck and really for poor folk/hipsters being ‘authentic’. Malt liquor is also added to slightly upscale drinks like hard lemonade etc. These are ok in moderation, but often don’t really taste like alcohol so you can quickly get smashed without knowing it.
Hard Liquor – You really should avoid advanced level knowledge of hard booze – you sound liek a complete prick going off about martinis and shit, but you should know some drinks – you can seem smart and easily order something that way. Rum and coke/gin and tonics are great entry level drinks. These can have real high alcohol content, so drink 1 or 2. Avoid dumb fggt named drinks at all costs – this should be obvious.
The best two things you can do are find out your tolerance to alcohol (through slowly drinking) and find out what kind of drunk you are – the more I drink the more mellow/talkative I get – except that one time we got smashed on Mexican homebrew tequila and I ended up cracking a friend’s rib with a cue ball in a sock (sorry A – still feels bad!) Srs – most fights I’ve been in have been with mean drunks… so at least by knowing you are a mean prick when you drink you can stock up on bandages for the next morning!
get in on this son!
Last bit of advice and a warning – chicks love to drink. Buying chicks drinks can be a bit of a suckers game, but if you are with a girl, buying a drink is a nice touch. Chicks can definitely loosen up a bit when they drink – so never get more smashed than the chick you’ve got your eye on… too drunk and the ‘beer googles’ effect kicks in – making *any* chick seem smashable.
so true regretface.gif
If people dig this I’ll cover weed next!
Is there any popular culture subject you are not skilled on??
I think you would be the raddest guy to party with haha…
I know you think Sarge wrote this – but I’ll take the complement anyways! I’m not too bad to party with, better to get high with…
Hahahaha fuck man sorry… Awesome article nonetheless…
Does anyone else hate being around people that have to constantly do shots?
Yep, that’s some 21 year old steez.
i think good entry level drink would be semi fancy beer, with 9%+ alcohol. not as hard as a mixed drink, but hard enough that you can get drunk without chugging 6 pbrs and having to piss all the time. Belgian beers are the best but you may have a hard time finding good ones, depending on the bar, but most places will have something like chimay or delirium, or basically any beer you will find in a beer distributer that comes corked.
Personally would not recommend – the taste of this stuff is *really* strong, it’s expensive and you can get real sick if you over drink (tho it’s not as likely due to the taste).
Was out in Schenectady NY recently, which is near the Ommegang brewery and the cafe we were at had this kinda beer on tap – and this was exactly my point – 2 mugs were awesome with lunch and a friend but starting a night with it = you’re pukin!
personally i think those kind of beers taste better, they can also be used to trick girls into getting wasted, bust them out with a cheese plate with some strong french cheese, you will appear fancy and the cheese will mask the strong taste of the beer.
this is my favorite : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_Fin_du_Monde_(beer)
Honest – love that beer – had a great lunch and they served that with it. Good choice! But would only drink at lunch/dinner still.
Cheese plate = pro tip tho!
Hipsters here are all about gross mexican beers, I cant drink that shit. I like drinking Red Stripe. A post on weed sounds pretty sweet.
*slow clap*
Im a very big fan of gin and tonic- you always know how it is going to taste, and you can make them as strong as you want depending on tolerance. Of course, if you actually buy a whole bottle of gin to yourself and try to get through over half of it in one night to show that you are hard, then you will end up having a bad time.
I think there is one thing you forgot to cover: The Long Island Iced Tea. DON’T be the LIIT guy: the one who wants to show that they are “tough” by getting 4+ standard drinks at once and “classy” by ordering a cocktail. At any 21st or fancy bar outing there is always one guy who orders a LIIT to show off, has no idea how hammered they are about to get and ends up as the first guy to barf/start a fight/joe out/injure themselves. DONT BE THAT GUY!!
oh god, good call on LIIT! that was my drink of choice when i first started and you nailed it– i got sloppy drunk and made a total asshole out of myself. now i can barely even stand the smell of one without getting a little queasy haha.
I find it so lulzy when I leave something out of a post (fearing it would be tl;dr) and then get called out in the comments. I sooo wanted to do a bit about this – to me it’s the same as going out to Chinese with a group of random friends and there is the one dude that won’t share a scorpion bowl and you later laugh at him and his pile of vomit?
This comment is so true tho…
Isn’t there a metalcore band named Share A Scoprion Bowl? And if not, WHY NOT?
I WILL DO IT BRAH
I always get LIIT and have never even been drunk.
I order liits not to show off, but because I’m legit trying to get my swerve on for under $50. I also order well shots, fuck everything.
Keep a bottle of red wine and champagne in your fridge if you like women. Some decent 10-20 a bottle shit.
Hipsters drink fucking anything, seriously. Don’t be afraid to be seen as drinking a hipster drink.
Don’t try to be hard! Seriously you’re not. Go slow. You have way less experience than your peers. Get a standby mixed drink and a standby beer, then experiment from time to time. A good rule of thumb for beginners is start with two, then about a drink every 45mins and you can drink all night.
“What alcohol to keep around/bring to parties to get chicks really drunk” would be another good post.
It depends on the type of woman. Party girls who get around want something that they can’t taste the alcohol in. Coolers of any choice aren’t bad if they’re 18, 19, but fuck that shit, right? You want something you can drink too, so bring a bottle of vodka and have a selection of fruit juices you can mix with it. Don’t be afraid to make something tropical, you pussy.
Vodka and rum are both good to have because they’re versatile. You can have it straight or you can make a really good cocktail with just one other ingredient (screwdrivers, vodka seven, rum & coke, etc.) or get super fancy and make a fucking mai tai or some other shit, (did somebody say “bellini”? No? My bad.) Plus, girls seem to drink more hard liquor based drinks than they do beer, especially college-age girls.
I gotta disagree with the King that having advanced level knowledge about hard liquor makes you look douchey if only because there’s a lot of shitty vodkas out there and who wants to drink something that tastes like shit? That said, if you do know what you’re talking about, people will be impressed with your knowledge of booze for all of 5 seconds so there’s really no need to show off.
I’ve met a few girls who liked JD. I mean, it’s not that common, so keeping a bottle isn’t necessary, but if you find a girl who likes JD, you are probably getting your dick sucked at least.
And don’t worry about keeping wine in your fridge unless you’re planning on banging milfs.
I gotta disagree with the King that having advanced level knowledge about hard liquor makes you look douchey if only because there’s a lot of shitty vodkas out there and who wants to drink something that tastes like shit?
Basically I was getting at the dudes that rant on about fine level details in drinks… or rant on about kinds of bourbon etc, as if they are execs from Mad Men or something… (see late ’90s Details magazine?) esp when these guys work at a mall kiosk and make minimum wage… All you really need to know is that the more expensive the booze, generally the better it is. Def. get what you pay for in that world.
Advanced level knowledge about hard liquor is good to have but but the less you talk about it the better. Like don’t ever call a rum and coke “Cuba libre”.
Wine is for milfs, champagne is for club rats, JD for alt girls, vodka for mnstrmers, beer is for you the next morning. The end.
^ strong agreement
People really need to be given advice on how to drink? Even if they are starting late they should do it how everyone else started. By drinking too much. I mean does anyone tell teenagers how to drink?
I am also a beer snob, but only in the privacy of my own home with friends and family that I trust. But in public, I will drink anything.
You also forgot the section on Jager Bombs chief.
People really need to be given advice on how to drink?
Locate SXE friends. Encourage them to drink. Come back and revise comment!
You also forgot the section on Jager Bombs chief.
Srs thought about this – I personally *really* like euro/herb flavored liqueurs – has some really good stuff in Italy after a meal – but I never understood using them in drinks – personally I stick to gin & tonics/rum & cokes/vodka & juice.
I dont think its possible for me to find SXE friends.
it’s sXe we’re talking about. The Flanders’ teenage sons
“I mean does anyone tell teenagers how to drink?”
Since my dad (and my mom also) did this when I was about 12, for quite some time I thought all parents would. But I’m german so I guess that doesn’t count. I’m all for parents teaching their children how to handle alcohol and other drugs responsibly.
I can’t wait to sell out now~!!!
srs, life is a lot less fun when you are sxe/sober. unless you are an alcoholic i can’t think of any reason why you wouldn’t drink- sell out ASAP, you’ll thank me for it!
I have alcoholism and drug addiction on both sides of my family and I already know i have an addictive personality. I know for a fact a couldn’t handle it now maybe when I’m 30 :P
yeah i have alcoholism in both sides of my family and an addictive personality, its called being alive.
Well I’m not capable of handling my addictions unfortunatly, I know this with the little experimentation that i’ve had. :P
great pointers. woulda really helped me back in high school. do weed!
Do weed next man. And tell me why everytime I smoke weed, I get this terrible anxiety, make a fool of myself for an hour by trying to stay busy, then finally feeling hella high and alright. That first hour is terrible.
fuck i’m rarely ever even high for an hour at a time anymore
BRAVO! Great post! I wish I had this when I first sold out. Reminds me of the first year or so of my drinking career, where I probably came off like a total idiot since I had no clue how to drink, got absolutely hammered in like 90 minutes, and ended up puking every time.
A couple thoughts:
1. The hard liquor section = spot fucking on. I don’t know much about liquor nor do I want to (via not being a fggt), so I just drink vodka and soda 90% of the time. It gets you drunk fast, tastes good (to me anyway), and is seen as a manly drink.
2. I can do a post about cocaine, adderall, and other stimulants
2. I can do a post about cocaine, adderall, and other stimulants
Let’s do this – can we colab on a post? I’ve got a few things to add to such a post as well.
Can we follow this up with a “WHERE ARE THEY NOW” edge break list. Dudes who wrote intense sxe lyrics who are now complete write offs?
Too mean for me to do… I think there was some ‘Edge Break’ list on the internet for a while – google it.
yeah I remember there being a whole website but it’s seemed to have disappeared
Decibel had an ongoing series about this. It mostly focused on the Hydrahead bands and Darkest hour.
They also had some story about the lead singer of Strife ordering Rum and Cokes at some show in philly or something.
also, I’ve always thought getting a swear word tattooed on you kind of dumb…but the thought of getting “No Fucks Given” is actually kind of appealing
Then whenever someone points at it and goes “What the fuck is that about?” you get to answer “The internet.”
You know, just the other day I was thinking to myself “I really want SYWH to rip into obnoxious beer snobs sometime soon.” I’ve got a friend who always buys that fancy expensive stuff that’s always named after animals for like $12 for a six pack, and because it’s so expensive, he’s always unwilling to get real shitty with me.
I usually drink the supermarket vodka thats like $8 a bottle mixed w vitamin water or gatorade when im at home/a party. NO FUCKS GIVEN.
For me, it’s usually gin and store brand soda.
backed!
I think wanting to drinking fucking awesome beer and being a beer snob should be separated. I drink a shitload of micro brews because I’m not poor and a grown ass man and they taste fucking amazing. But if I want to get ratfaced I have no qualms drinking anything (seriously anything except for cheap tequila because I pushed a switch in my stomach many teenage years ago and now my stomach doesn’t let that shit in, or it does but decides to tell it to fuck off very quickly). I like to think this is a good balance to keep.
I’ve got a friend who always buys that fancy expensive stuff that’s always named after animals for like $12 for a six pack, and because it’s so expensive, he’s always unwilling to get real shitty with me.
Raeg +1000 on this – had a friend that went to the UK once and only drank warm beer for like a month after that! Honestly – at a party anything over the middle level is a waste – when I was young I liked the middle level beer as it was easier not to drink a ton (cause it was perceived you spent more $$ on the beer). Also I’m a tall guy (6’4″”) & relatively in shape so it takes a ton to get me drunk – honestly 4 – 5 ‘expensive’ beers and I’m starting to feel it.
I do beers with lunch/dinner (you can buy 1-2 nicer beers) and gin & tonics/rum & cokes/vodka & juice stuff if I’m going out. Best bet. As Sarge said, with those two ingredient drinks you can look sophisticated and still know nothing about drinks (just like me!) Srs pro/next level tip: if you can pull off flirting with the bartender (not easy) they will upgrade the level of booze in your drink – once spent the night getting Bombay Sapphire gin in my Seagrams level cost drink.
one of the proudest moments of my life was banging a 21 year old blonde barbie-type bartender when i was 30
There is some expensive beer that girls like, and will drink more of it than they would of regular beer. Still probably not worth it, unless you’re trying to show off that you know what girls like so everyone will know you’ve gotten lots of them drunk before. But stuff like Belgian wheat beers or some stronger cherry beers (like 6-7%) works and I keep some around for a couple of my chick singers. They didn’t like chocolate beer, tho. Said it was a waste of good chocolate.
Blue Moon, Stella, and Dos Equis/Corona are typical female-friendly choices. Bitches love Blue Moon.
Even though I am young, since I wasn’t ever edge I’ve been heavily drinking for about 10 years at this point. I have to say when drinking, nothing sucks more than being broke AND making an ass of yourself. So drink cheap shit until you get used to it.
Unless you are drinking it with a $30-$50 a plate meal anything really high-end is a waste. Two-ingredient drinks are kind of the shit, and cheap to start out with because they’ll pour you wells. Later on you can do calls, but you’ll probably want to do well gin/vodka/rum to start out. Don’t be “that guy” and order Grey Goose shots all night for you and some bitch who can’t taste the difference between Stoli and rubbing alcohol.
If I had to have a house liquor stock for getting it in I’d have:
-JD (it’s mediocre as fuck and over-priced, but girls who mix it with coke till they can’t taste it think it’s the pinnacle of the whiskey-drinking experience)
-Crown (smoother, pleasant as fuck, also over-priced so watch it)
-Decent Vodka (spend at least $20 a handle so it doesn’t taste like battery acid, if you’re super cheap you can run vodka through a brita filter and it will taste better, this is how stoli is filtered)
-Flavored Vodkas (2-3 cheap flavored vodkas, whipped cream vodka and 7-up is like bitch drink heaven, etc.)
-Good Blanco/Silver Tequila (you will regret every time this bottle sees the light of day, but holy fuck this is a panty-destroyer Patron, Don Julio, Cazadores, Cuervo, etc. Fun Fact: reuse your Patron/Don Julio bottle with mid-range tequila and they will never know! Same goes for JD w/ benchmark, any vodka w/ any vodka, and Crown w/ 7Crown! :D)
-Champagne (2 bottles, $10 a bottle, ask the dork at the store)
-6 pack of decent beer if you drink it (sam adams, shiner, dos equis, red stripe, killians, whatever, nothing over $16/12 or $9/5, this is for you in case you need to loosen up because you weren’t drinking and don’t want to look like an alcoholic pouring liquor out. No Guinness you faggot.)
-12 pack of light beer (bud light is the universal bitch beer of choice and a great chaser)
-Wine is for wife-material dinner dates, milfs, and older dudes who like to kiss dudes, your call. If you like nailing liberal arts bitches they may be in a wine phase, I have run into a bit of this.
Fill all drinks to the brim with ice before adding booze. Straws are nice to have for mixing shit up (and chicks drink faster out of staws). Make sure you have tonic, soda, oj, another juice, coke, and sprite to mix, always have limes, lemons optional. Keep Vitamin Water/Gatorade/Pedialyte for hangovers AND a handy mixer. :D
Leave all that liqueur shit, cool shots, fancy beer, etc for the bar, no point stocking Baileys, Kahlua, Pimm’s, Jager etc. unless you love that shit. Girls who drink Rum or Gin will hit up Vodka without much issue, entry-level whiskey bitches will be super butthurt if you don’t have their entry-level shit (JD or Crown 9/10 times).
HAVE FUN DUDEBROS.
Solid list. Just add some cognac, especially if you have any non-white friends. And a bottle of two of really nasty single-malt Scotch that you can pretend to like – it’ll make other dudes feel really inferior, LOL.
You can add a bottle of cognac if you like the dark skin, that is a good call, high five bro.
I love super dark beer and scotch, but that shit is for drinking with other dudes, NOT the pussy. Being the single-malt guy is like being the $12 beer guy. Faggots only, and girls will think you’re a cunt unless they’re lib arts majors or 53.
i dont even know what single-malt means, and i don’t think i’ve ever had scotch. whiskey is fucking disgusting too.
Yeah, scotch’s not for drinking with girls. But if you’re in mixed company you can have fun by using girls to pressure guys who aren’t into whisky into trying something really nasty. Then you can laugh at them.
Also, girls love cool-looking bottles that they haven’t seen before. Dictador rum is the best for this. It just looks like sex.
alternate text: “if you like being confronted with hairy pussies.” but yeah, this is very true!
^TRUTH
Also the kind of girls who want to get drunk and high at 3PM and play Mario Party/watch Murder She Wrote. Srs though, bitches who are in a True Blood phase will also decide that they like wine. Lol females!
The wine is part of the image as well. I like to upsell because I am basically a poor quasi-adult, so I like to have shit around here and there that’s kind of nice so I’m not too normal/poor/hipster. They look in the fridge they see vegetables and wine among the sausage and beer. Makes them feel more comfortable, like maybe I won’t ignore their phone calls, like maybe they could invite their friends over.
If you’re looking to be the badass trashy guy by all means don’t have that shit, fill your fridge with pizza boxes, bud light, and sour milk, take your bathroom mirror down and put it on the coffee table, and leave magnum condoms on every surface in your home.
I don’t think that wine is that bad, but you sort of need to know what you are doing. As with basically every other thing in this thread it is only douchey/poser/beta if you are pretending to be a fancy wine guy and have no idea what you are doing. Even worse, if you get a bottle of red wine and drink it like beer, and then joe out on the couch at 830pm (guilty as charged!). As far as everyday wine drinking is concerned, it is perfectly acceptable to order a glass at a restaurant if you know what the different styles of wine taste like- usually the quality at sit down places is good enough that you will get something pleasant and tasty and get a buzz on with your meal. As far as drinking at parties is concerned, it is good to ask your dad or other old guy who actually knows what they are doing what is a decent bottle of wine at your price range and go for it. If I were you I would try to avoid red, as described earlier you will get very sleepy if you aren’t used to it. A bottle of white wine is sort of the “perfect” amount of alcohol for one night as far as I’m concerned and can taste much better than the equivalent costing beer
If I had a sxe friend my advice would be to drink on a college campus. No matter how drunk he gets he will probably still not be “that guy.”
Great post! looking foward to what you’ve got next
Haha, the edge break list was on how’s your edge. I got put on after breaking edge the first week of college. Never found out who put me on there.
If I’m out and on a budget I stick with Yuengling (usually the same price as PBR but it makes you look/feel like less of an asshole). But most of the time, it’s Long Islands, double vodka with red bull, etc. If I’m at a mainstream rap outing it’s Remy VSOP straight or Hennessey with Sprite. Furthermore, I fully back drinking Four Loko over the age of 21. It only tastes like toxic wine the first few sips.
Joose 4ever!
Also shots are only acceptable in groups of five or more, and/or if the Lil Jon song is playing. Baby Guinnesses are delicious.
Whilst I do agree with pretty much the whole story, and it’s funny as hell.. I just couldn’t help but cringe at Heineken even being on that list.. Being Dutch, I often feel sorry for you Americans that don’t know the true taste of beer :(
lol @ eurofag beer snobs, the only thing more beta than american beer snob
One other thing I left out was mixing alcohol types – it’s pretty classic for new drinkers to consume *anything* they can get their hands on – which is usually their parent’s schnapps/port/sherry & shit.
True talk – my friend J & I got so drunk on this kind of mixing we ended up running around outside his house completely naked/crazy (no homo/don’t remember homo) and when I got up at 2AM to take a piss I walked in on him passed out next to the toilet and puke everywhere – first thought ‘This is exactly what a murder/OD scene looks like’ – took piss over him & went back to bed.
Avoid mixing wildly different types of alcohol.
nice post!
as a recovering angry drunk, i’d like to add that angry drunks should only drink with bros who have your back if shit pops off, and won’t call the cops if you start punching them for no reason :(.
the only time you should ever puke is when your belly is full and you need to make room for more alcohol. usually happens after drink 27-28.
Fuck this, throwing up is part of the natural cycle of drinking. Don’t ever be ashamed to throw up, especially if you have work in the morning.
I’m probably the only person replying to this who is actually straightedge. I have been since high school (I’m 30 now). I have no plans of breaking edge, but you never know.
I don’t have a problem with anyone breaking edge, but the worst shit ever is people who break edge and act like a 14 year old and people who break edge and become snobs overnight. Quit being a tryhard and have fun.
“the worst shit ever is people who break edge and act like a 14 year old”
AKA every edge-breaker ever, including me?? haha
Haha no offense. That shit just irks me. I have friends who started drinking and could handle themselves, but other friends who definitely could not.
oh im sure it’s unbearable to be around if you are sober, i totally empathize!!
I like to talk about beer all the time. Now that I’m older I mostly drink craft beers. I’m big into them and I home brew(attempt), but I will throw down some shit beer on occasion Usually while shooting guns or smoking some sort of pork.
There are a lot of beers, barley wines and IPAs mostly, that have 9-12% alcohol. These are great beers to get drunk on. It beats the shit out of chugging miller anything all night to catch a buzz. Well, we did break out the beer bong at the beach a couple weeks which was pretty funny. I’m 30 now, so I felt stupid but it was fun.
Torpedos are a thing now. Red bull, take a drink, fill fill rest of can up with vodka of choice and shotgun.
Gin and tonics are my go to mixed drink.
Not knowing how to booze it up correctly is beta as fuck.
Some serious next level knowledge bein dropped in this entire thread. You the man King, Fuckin 5 star post!
-This advice applies to any and evryone, not just SXE failures. Im gonna send this to my little brother who’s a senior in high school, srs. This is exactly what I would say to him if I had the time.
-@ Brah; shit is deep son, your comments were insightful and plentiful enough for its own featured post. Vodka thru britta filter=mind blown
-@ Lo-Rez; I feel you on the beer. 2-3 years in Bavaria really developed my palate for even the strongest of beers, but Im still all about slamming coors light in beer pong games when the situation presents itself. I read an interesting article in a beer connoisseur website where there was a good comparison made between coffe and beer elitism. The Author was a professional level beer taster and only drank the finest stuff, but in the mornings he and millions of people all ver the world drink whatever slop d-grade insta coffee we can get because it’s all the caffine buzz to survive the morning, not flavor. In the same way, people in general dont care about the difference between ales pilsners or lagers, they just wanna get drunk, so no need to ridicule them either.
Good stuff. Definitely start off slow and avoid trying to show off. Went to many of college parties in my youth and some douchbag would show up with a bottle of moonshine, grip and rip, and be puking and out in the next 30 minutes.
Adding to the easy mixers, Southern Comfort and Diet (Coke Zero) is good. If you want to avoid getting fat but still like the sweetness, try that out. 3 carbs a shot and the inescapable 100 calories for the ethanol, but goes down smooth. You might not get slammed as fast as it is only 70 proof unless the bar tender like you and pours heavy. Of course you can always mix rum/gin/vodka with a diet mixer.
buy your own soco and it’s 100 proof.
This post = A++++++ King!
Been drinking entry-level to mid-level beer since 15 (grew up in a foreign country,) would recommend getting mid-level for first timers esp if they’re too pussy for the cheap beer’s taste.
You are so fucking spot on about idjits that show off the first time they start drinking, they either become belligerent drunks for the rest of the night or passing the fuck out.
Also, you might cover this in the next post but I def do not recommend mixing weed and alcohol. One or the other, even then beer is the better choice since it makes you a lot more talkative instead of being a hippie fggot. One time I did strikeouts (hit a bowl, down a shot, shotgun a pabst/bud) and I ended up feeling sick for the rest of the night.
Great post, I can’t wait for the weed post since I partake in both. I have toured in a band whose members consisted of edgers and wastoids. I work at a liquor store, and have for many years. Here’s my two cents on boozin it up -
- High end vodka is bullshit. Stick to Smirnoff. If you would have a taste test, no one could tell the difference (the exception being super cheap vodka, shit is nasty). There is a regular that comes into the store and fills an empty 1.75 L of Grey Goose with the cheapest hobo class vodka we sell. He does it when he has a party, and his dumb ass friends are impressed with his home bar.
- EVERY chick likes their drinks sweet or pink. The more “cute” the bottle is, the more they want it.
- Drinking something a rapper owns or endorses is so fucking beta.
- Shotgunning beers every now and then is a good thing. Especially in the parking lot before attending shows in which straight edge bands are playing. Self righteous singer preaching about being edge as fuck? Infinite fucking LULZ if you are drunk from pounding 4 Coors Light tall boys right before you walk in.
- You should ALWAYS have a bottle of champagne in the fridge. The ladies like the bubbly.
“I work at a liquor store, and have for many years”
strong loser credentials!! backed hard.
I can’t wait for the weed post since I partake in both.
You will not be disappointed – I <3 promise you.
There is a regular that comes into the store and fills an empty 1.75 L of Grey Goose with the cheapest hobo class vodka we sell.
You would think there would be a srs scumbag business in selling empty expensive booze bottles for exactly this purpose…
Seriously? How can any serious drinker be drunk off 4 coors light tallboys. I call shenanigans.
We gotta party sometime Sarge. Loser for life!
BACKED
Holy shit I think you are on to something there….
Never been drunk, so this’ll definitely help me for future reference. Thanks!
And yes, please do the weed/coke/adderall posts.
Also, so I’ve heard from other people, chug a shitload of water right before you go to bed and you won’t have a hangover.
Water will always help with a hangover, but does not guarantee no hangover. Staying hydrated is always a smart move though.
for me it depends on what and how much I drink. Scotch/whiskey will always be worse than beer or gin. Cheap red wine is the worst, and I never actually feel drunk from it. To be honest, I haven’t had cheap red wine in a long time for this very reason.
There is one preservative used in a lot of cheap wine and cider that many people are allergic to, I am one of them. The result is that if you drink enough of it (over half a bottle is enough) you will end up with a piercing, nauseating headache the next day. It is similar to a hangover, but less groggy and more awful.
My approximation for a hangover cure is to try to match every drink I have with one glass of water before I go to bed- I can usually do up to four. If you need to wake up in the middle of the night to piss, have a few more glasses on the way back to bed. I’ve found this helps a lot.
The best cure for a hangover though is to just start drinking again. That is the only good thing about brunch. Well, that and omelet stations and the ladies love brunch too.
cueball in a sock happened in a Steve Seagal movie. Hard To Kill I believe. Doens’t that immediately make it beta?
No. Because Hard to Kill is fucking awesome.
I don’t think my friend found it terribly beta (circa ’91 BTW). Out of character aggro moment for me – that same night my other friend ended up throwing up some oily black substance … so ugly.. Mexi-homebrew tequila = not good idea! Prob witchcraft.
Skinwalkers bro.
Liking good beer doesn’t mean you’re a beta.
For some people, it means you like good beer.
BTW, the new Strokes album is really good.
The Mars Volta is my favorite band. I have a Coheed & Cambria tattoo.
I play in a death metal band.
HATE HATE HATE.
I HAVE A SOCIOLOGY DEGREE FROM VIRGINIA TECH.
U MAD BRAH??!
#could i make this up?
amazing material here!
This is good.
Everything in this post, backed hard! Been drinking since I was 14 so my tolerance is ridiculous for a 19 year old. A 6 pack of good shit OS always nice for a morning after a night of heavy drinking but its a huge waste of money if your end goal is just to get drunk. I need a minimum of like 8 beers to be drunk so buying 24 packs of miller highlifes for $14 at the local walmart is the way to go. Also, if you’re gonna be chilling with girls, bring along a bottle of captain morgan or Smirnoff, they love that shit and theyll be slutting it up in no time.
Fuck, *is, not OS. Goddamn autocorrect, #whitepeopleproblems
just found this, had to stick it on
http://www.mitchclem.com/nothingnice/8/
Have to say this as an edger that i know if i go drinking now, ill get so shitfaced even after like on pint.
One bro broke edge, drank 2 pints in a bar (in Finland the voltage is around 5,8%), was like watching a 13 year old girl drink for the first time. Was so fun.
a weed post would be the shit
This is one of the best posts on here, ever.
I was edge for 7 years and just about 4 months ago I started to drink. I now drink Blue Moon or Killians draft, long island iced teas, rum and cokes, or Jager + pepsi. I’ve still never been drunk, but getting buzzed feels pretty good man.
“… more for ‘drinking with meals’ and other non-partying usages.” Oh. So you don’t ‘party’ with craft beer? Fuck that shit. Why drink piss if you don’t have to? I’ve been drinking the good stuff since the 90s.
Ever notice how when you find a straight edge over the age of 21, it’s the kind of person you wouldn’t want to hang out with anyway?