SEX ADVICE: Smashing girls vs wifing girls

Anon #1 asked: Is it beta or alpha to slam a bitch with a boyfriend?

Anon #2 asked: Need sex advice-Is it a good idea to use comedy to become friends with a smashable bish, and then attempt to fuck her, or is that a one way ticket to the ‘just friends’ road?

I will answer both of these questions by addressing a broad point (no pun intended): the difference between girls who are only good for smashing and girls who are wifing material. To make a long story short, they have basically nothing in common, and your game should vary accordingly. I will begin with a simple visual aid to illustrate my point:

Getting back to the original questions at hand, the answers depend on whether you are dealing with a girl who is smashing material or wifing material.

Question #1: If she is wifeable, you should absolutely not try to bang her if she has a BF. That would be a Scumbag Steve move of the highest order, and make you a complete asshole. On the other hand, if she’s just smash material, go for it! Her ‘relationship’ was doomed from day 1 and they probably both cheat on each other anyway, so smash with abandon. I once banged a girl in the bed she shared with her boyfriend while he was out of town one weekend, but NO FUCKS GIVEN because I knew their relationship was bullshit and he was a beta pussy who needed a wakeup call. The trick is, if you treat a smashing girl nice she will just get bored and move on, so you really have no choice but to be an asshole to her, PIITB as often as possible, and go with it until you get sick of putting up with her bullshit.

Question #2: It’s really critical that you decide if she is into smashing or wifing, because everything you do will depend on that. If she’s just good for smashing, you completely blew it and should just give up now. Smashing-only girls need to be treated badly– they like assholes because they hate their dads and crave the attention of men who treat them badly. It’s pretty stupid, but that’s just how it works. But if you come at a wifeable girl like that, she’ll think you’re an asshole and tell you to fuck off. It should be obvious that I am 1000000% more into wifeable girls, but I’m old and I totally recommend that anybody under 28 or so smash the fuck out of anything that moves.

But yes, if she’s just smashing material you have almost certainly put yourself in the friend zone. On the other hand, any decent, wifeable girl will like you if you are funny and nice to her– and if she doesn’t, then she wasn’t wifeable in the first place which means she sucks and you’re better off without her. You don’t have to run game on wifeable girls; just be yourself, treat her well, and she will like you. The point is simple: treat the whores like whores, and the princesses like princesses. Just never, ever get them mixed up!!

Have you ever made the mistake of trying to wife a smashing girl, or vice versa?? How does your game differ between the two? Which is better, smashing or wifing???

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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76 Responses to SEX ADVICE: Smashing girls vs wifing girls

  1. cougar party says:

    One thing I would add is that if you are trying to wife a girl, be nice to her, but do not mistake that for being a beta pussy. You will get stuck in friend zone. Be direct in your intentions – Ask her out on a formal date. Either drinks and dinner or both. Don’t be all passive and invite her on a group date or some bullshit.

  2. freftd says:

    this post is necessary, people often think that to be alpha you must smash girls and smash girls only but really there needs to be a certain amount of time spent in a relationship so that you can break up listen to blood for blood get drunk and cry about it in the most alpha way possible CRY ABOUT IT WITH ANGER. and sing misogynistic hardcore songs about how women are disgusting while not being gay. you aint no alpha if you havent done anything you regret, forgot where i was going with this, oh yeah you gotta nurture your non arsehole side and go through some bad shit cos you cant forge a sword in a microwave, I HAVE SPOKEN

  3. Mustard Tiger says:

    D, you are like an alpha doctor drew, this shit should be in a handbook.

  4. hgsg says:

    smashing girls who think they are wifing girls are the worst.

    • Negrodamus says:


      They are one of the most annoying creatures on the planet. I fucked a girl once as just a smash and dash and for like a year straight she would constantly text me and try to get me to go on dates with her. Half those texts were probably written while a dick was in her mouth so no thanks bitch

    • Totes says:

      Oh yeah.

      I thought I could be a relationship sorcerer with a smash bish and turn her into a wife girl, but after dumping her three times over the past year I’m pretty sure my powers are weak, old man.

      She texts me drunk about how she misses me after telling me she’s already banging another dude and that’s she’s “in a great relationship”.

      Smash bish with an identity crisis.

    • Throbbing Cock of American Freedom says:

      You can treat all girls like garbage. They may cry after you bang them, but they will always come back. The trick is to pull the nice guy routine when you are around/pre smashing and be the asshole post smash and when you are not around. They think they can change you because you have shown that you can be what they think they want, when you are really the asshole that they subconsciously crave.

      Its a delicate balance. Its like playing with a cat. Cats get bored when you just give them a toy to ply with. They may look at it but they always walk away. When you dangle a toy in front of them then pull it away, you can keep their attention. Same with bishes. If you pull the beta always be nice routine, they get bored and find a more interesting toy. If you dangle the affection and niceness, while being an asshole, they keep coming back. It also helps if they hate/dont have a father.

    • Keka says:

      Oh god, and every shitty text for months after like “WHY AREN’T YOU TREATING ME LIKE THE PRINCESS I SO CLEARLY AM?”"

    • EX-Husband says:

      My ex-wife, known online as Nikki Newgate, is a smashing girl who thought she was wifing material. I demonstrate otherwise in my site. I do adult web content development if anyone is interested or needs Good Alpha advice or any applicable services. I very much enjoyed the article. In regards to the article’s textual content, I would only make one change. The author wrote “The point is simple: treat the whores like whores, and the princesses like princesses. Just never, ever get them mixed up!!”

      I would change it to this…

      The point is simple: treat the whores like princesses, and the princesses like whores. Just never, ever get them mixed up!!

      That, in my estimation is the completion of an otherwise highly insightful and succinct breakdown on the female psyche.

      Carry on gentlemen. I enjoy and approve of the work I have seen today.

  5. hgsg says:

    the biggest mistake i used to make around both types of girls would be to sort of back down when challenged on something i had said or done around them. stand your ground, bros

  6. Keka says:

    …That last bit was almost sweet.

    Something’s wrong. Something’s very wrong.

  7. Negrodamus says:

    All of this is 100% true. Good advice! Though with the wifey type girls, you can’t be overly sweet and affectionate or she’ll just think you’re a clingy beta tard. You gotta be the cool, smooth funny guy. Pay attention to her and be nice but dont be a groveling pussy about it.

  8. Dental Damnation says:

    What about smashing a girl that wants to get tag teamed by you and her bf at the same time?

    That’s what I thought the first question insinuated. I say alpha, unless swords are crossed. Then it becomes beta quickly.

    • LC says:

      What about smashing a girl with your own boyfriend? I’m not sure how the rules apply to bi dudes since they/we do not care if something is gay

  9. Mustard Tiger says:

    I have always wondered.if other people think that 2 dudes and one chick is as ghey as I do?

  10. Pako says:

    I only have to add 1 thing, if a girl seems like she is wifeable but then agrees cheats on her boyfriend, she is slutt, plain and simple, slutts are gonna be slutts all her life
    And pretty much, this post is spot on everything, the part that I most agree is in the treating nices girls nice and bitches like shit, and if you confuse that, you’re pretty much fucked

  11. Anonymous says:

    This alpha/beta thing is getting really old.

  12. Andrew says:

    The alpha/beta thing IS getting really old. And if you all were alpha you wouldn’t have to flaunt how alpha you were all the time, you’d be secure and confident.

  13. Brah says:

    Important note: getting out of the friend zone with a smashable bitch is super easy unless she bitches to you on the phone about shit.

    Even though it’s a joke from Sunny, this is basically the guide to playing smash material:

  14. lolwut says:

    being the funny dude can certainly lead to the smash. i know this because women certainly dont like me for my looks, money, or alcohol addiction. yet, funny dude usually allows just one smashing per bish, which im not down with. just once makes me crazy. two and i’m on to the next one.

  15. ok , real talk. Im a psychologist/therapist, and relationships are 99% of the shit people i hear bitch about. Most of the people i talk to are miserable, because they are with people they’re just not compatible with.

    Most dudes just try to wife the hottest girl they possibly can, but no matter how hot a girl is, you are gonna get bored of fucking them and fantasize about way loss hot, random girls at work, school etc, just because they are different, thats how the male brain works (via our constantly being fertile and our biological need to spread our dna). Hot girls are also usually bad in bed (via feeling like they are too good and dont to have to try). Obviously you need to be with someone you are attracted to, but being sexually compatible is allot more important.

    Sarge, you are onto something: totally depends on their age.

    As a dude of 33, i can tell you that dealing with 30+ girls is a totally different ballgame than younger ones. Even the sluts loose their shit via their biological clocks ticking and are looking for husbands, so older chicks care more about status, and are way more picky about “real” shit like your job than how you look. Older chicks are also way more annoying and less fun due to the fact that they are usually bitter and desperate since they dont have husbands (watch that movie bridesmaids, its a terrible movie, but unfortunately an accurate portrayal of 30+ single women). So be careful, some smashable chicks learn that they need to trick dudes into thinking they are wifeable.

    This is old people advice though, if youre younger, the status thing can still come into play, i.e. girls will fuck ugly band dudes, but you pretty much have to rely on your looks/game, so girls that hang out with you are more likely to genuinely be into you. It should be obvious who is smashable and who is wifeable. You should def have a few long term relationships because you will learn allot about yourself, but yea defiantly go have fun, dont end up the sexual equivalent of the 35 year old dude at the bar who just broke edge.

    • hgsg says:

      ^ this could have been it’s own quality post

      • haha yeah sorry i didnt realize it was gonna be so long.

        • Sergeant D says:

          backed! great comment!

          excellent point about how older women lose a lot of the bullshit that you get with younger girls, but often replace it with bitterness and resentment. I *hate* that, so unattractive– they’re convinced everyone is a jerk, so they are super defensive and guarded all the time, which just pushes me away faster than you can say “menopause.”

        • Sergeant D says:

          oh and great point about trying to wife the hottest girl you can being a recipe for disaster… i think this is why I am into 7.5s like Jess Bowen. Attractive enough for me to get a boner, but not hot enough that they have people kissing their ass their whole lives and end up being way too into themselves. They actually have to develop a personality and act like a decent human being to get along with people- shocking!

          • EXACTLY. they’ve lived their whole lives being humored by people, its like hanging out with a celebrity who believes their own marketing.

            and when they get older and their looks start to fade a little, they get less attention and people stop playing along with their bullshit, they loose their fucking minds = cause they really have nothing else.

            all these old ritch guys i talk to have their trophy wives who are exactly like this.

          • the only thing worse are the 7′s that immerse themselves into nerd subculture so they can get the same attention and act the same way, i head theres a website for that caller tumbler or something??

          • Nothing worse than a chick that’s hot, knows it, and make sure EVERYONE else knows it too.

            Like they want yoo to thimk they are super gorgeous, then when you look at them it’s all like ‘WTF are you looking at”

    • Cougar party says:

      Great post. In agreement 100%

  16. hgsg says:

    ^ *+in bad lighting*

  17. Charlie Brown says:

    D, your writing has been most excellent lately. Your ridiculousness and hilariousness is still there and you’ve morphed it into a fantastic social critique. Blowing my mind, dude. Blowing my effing mind…

  18. Mustard Tiger says:

    Throbbing cocks statement sounds kinda like the DENNIS system from its always sunny.

  19. Fred Durst says:

    Holy shit Serg, both of those questions were mine! Thanks a lot bro. The girl I was talking about who has a boyfriend… Well, she is wifing material, and I don’t want to be a Scumbag Steve-but she has a really weird relationship with her boyfriend. She lives with her dad, but he’s gone 5 out of 7 days of the week, so for the other 5 days, her boyfriend acts like her father-srs, when I was driving her home today, she was worried that her boyfriend would ground her and take her phone away. What the fuck, how does that work?

    That being said, I’m only 17 and not in the mood for wifing yet. I’ll just attempt to do some smashing when I go to college; enjoy those years while I can, and worry about more important things when the time comes. Thanks for the advice bro!

    • Sergeant D says:

      haha nice! glad i got both them in one shot!

      if you are 17 don’t even think about wifing, just smash anything that moves and if a nice girl comes along, stick with her for a while.

      that said, the girl you are talking clearly has some serious issues. be careful!!! she could end up being super dramatic/crazy in an instant.

  20. jakey liaf says:

    word of advice: just started doing stand-up about 4-5 months ago (stemmed from a long-time desire to do it, but mostly just to meet women) and yes…humor works. BUT – avoid the hell out of self-deprecating humor unless it’s light. from experience, you are shooting yourself in the fucking foot by pointing out your flaws, even if it is a chuckle-worthy line like “i have all the good looks and charm of the back room of an animal shelter.”

    also if she teases you about a mannerism or physical feature that you have (little ears, dumb hair, ADTR shirt): she’s basically telling you that it’s endearing and is flirting hard with you. so act on it.

  21. lolwut says:

    ^this^ i spent most of my late teens and almost all my 20′s sleeping in squats across europe and not taking care of myself. now that im back in the states with an odd accent (a mix of living in germany till i was ten, going back to US, going back to yurp and living in benelux as a poorfag illegal till i was 28), if i a bish rubs your baldspot, or pats your gross beergut, or pulls up your sleeve to see your shitty omega tribe and/or cress/flux/peni tattoo, she wants the cawk. like in my earlier post, being funny works, being “worldly” (which sux) works even better.

  22. lolwut says:

    but having an accent even weirder than “the bullet” guy helps much more.

  23. cgrind says:

    Srsly bummed here that I have to throw this cmmnt thread off of 69 comments (lol) but Sarge, please gather all that you know and write an article on how to GTFO of the friendzone!! This shit is killing me!

  24. Pingback: SEX ADVICE: How to talk to girls | STUFF YOU WILL HATE

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