There is a band called VERB THE NOUN!

When everything about your band’s entire genre can be summed up in three words, it’s a sign that you might be running on fumes creatively. For example, as soon as you tell someone “Oh, they’re a VERB THE NOUN band,” you pretty much know exactly what you will be getting: long hair, skinny jeans with baggy t-shirts, Vans, and interchangeable songs that alternate between screaming, clean vocals, and breakdowns (thanks to my girl Michelle for that term).

With that in mind, you can imagine how excited I got when I saw that there’s actually a band called VERB THE NOUN! Initially I assumed that they were a lulzy parody band whose premise was adopting all the genre’s obvious cliches and exaggerating them to the point of awesomeness (see CRUCIAL YOUTH and NEW YORKMENT).

There are few things more painful and difficult for me to look at than pictures like this– just imagining them awkwardly attempting to “rock out” while their four friends who they guilted in coming watch disinterestedly makes me want to throw myself on a sword in vicarious embarrassment

Then I clicked through and got even more excited– as evidenced by the lulzy photos of them playing in some sad little coffee shop in Harrisburg PA, they were clearly not a joke band. Orange amps? Check. “Zany” songtitles like “Gary Busey Hairline”?? Check. Could it be we have found the absolutely bottom of the barrel of generic, shitty Sumeriancore/Risecore bands?? The holy grail of clueless suburban kids doing 5th generation copies of a style that was generic and uninspired to begin with?? My heart raced at the possibilities!!

Their FB info is a pretty classic example of “clueless local band who will never play to more than 12 people”. I especially like “sprinkled with delightful tangents that lead into strong grooves and break-downs.”

Well I hate to rain on the parade, but it turns out they are just  horrible, horrible indie/college rock, like some dreadful band who would play a high school battle of the bands and play a Dinosaur Jr cover. They probably came up with the name when they were working on a freshman English 101 group project and watching Monty Python, and most likely have no idea who Design The Skyline or After The Burial are. Sorry there isn’t a better punchline, but such is life- maybe someone will start a band called SILENCING THE SILENCE that will live up to everything we wanted from Verb The Noun!

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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36 Responses to There is a band called VERB THE NOUN!

  1. Homeless Guy Wearing Camo Pants On A Mountain Bike says:

    I’m fucking starved. Come on man, you don’t got no kinda money for me?

  2. eric says:

    It was only a matter of time.

    Of course, ATB are better classified in a related sub-subgenre, Adverb-the-Noun.

  3. cougar party says:

    “Must be able to sing on key most of the time”

    Lol, what?

  4. Save Parker says:

    So glad we went with a Verb Noun band name, world of difference.

    But I have been wanting to start a band with 80% chug breakdowns and 20% autotuned choruses called A City Of From At Skyline Sky. Could probably write all the songs over an afternoon.

    • Sergeant D says:

      the Verb Noun name was a bold choice, because it’s so close to Verbing Name. that makes me think of Breaking Benjamin, Saving Abel and other objectionable “hard rock” bands, so i admire your courage!!

      • Save Parker says:

        Someone insulted us once by saying we look like Breaking Benjamin. That’s how you know they have no well-thought argument to go to, because I don’t think I know anyone who knows what Breaking Benjamin dress like.

        Hopefully Verb Noun will one day become synonymous with not-shitty-band-name choice, before a bunch of bands ruin it.

  5. It’s an absolute crime that a name that good had to be squandered on a sub-Joan Of Arc instrumental college rock band. This is music for the kind of people who want to keep themselves in a perpetual state of butthurt (ala dinosaur emo fans), and while they may be looking for a singer who is “able to get a bit aggressive” now, but they’ll be playing bona fide post-rock soon enough.

  6. nightwork says:

    Their FB looks like a pretty classic example of a fake page of something that doesn’t actually exist using images, vids, and text lifted from “clueless local band who will never play to more than 12 people” and is probably someone trolling.

  7. Grindcore Ted says:

    SO FUCKING DISAPPOINTING.

  8. Martin Regnen says:

    Fuck’em. A name “taken” by a band like this is just as good as not taken. Someone better (or at shitty in a more fun way) should reuse it.

  9. Mike C says:

    I was in a band in the Harrisburg PA area. Everything there sucks.

  10. Fred Durst says:

    Looking forward to when the band starts raging in the comments.

  11. Anonymous says:

    >13 people like this

    Holy shit, you weren’t exaggerating about how clueless they are.

  12. Fuck. I was totally considering forming a band by that name. Would play scumbag beatdown, though!

  13. Walker says:

    The sad thing is that if they were actually a parody band that fb page would be a perfectly constructed parody of a shitty band’s fb page. Instead they are just a shitty band with a hilariously band fb page.

  14. xALLGLOOMx says:

    What we as loyal sywh readers need to do is all form a band with the name verb the noun. We can be one band with a large catalogue of generic music that has a chapter (or multiple) in every state. What this would do is completely make out of state touring obsolete since the band would already technically exist in every state. We can all print up sweeeeeet ass shirts with our chapter number on em.

  15. xTr00x says:

    I second xALLGLOOMx

  16. michelle says:

    I am so disappoint.

  17. Ada says:

    Does Foster The People know they are a verb the noun band?
    They are shit but you should already know that.

  18. Mister Booze says:

    Booo! I wanted this to be “lulzy” so bad.

    Hey, you can’t really copyright a band name. Especially not a poor band that can’t afford litigation like these guys. Someone please make the Verb the Noun that we all want.

  19. vard says:

    slam the gorebong = best song title ever! their myspace page is real real good too!

  20. Pingback: VERB THE NOUN: THE ULTIMATE VERB THE NOUN BAND? | MetalSucks

  21. bliboran says:

    aw, i was thinking of names for my band. sad to see this one is taken, because it’s hilarious.

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