When everything about your band’s entire genre can be summed up in three words, it’s a sign that you might be running on fumes creatively. For example, as soon as you tell someone “Oh, they’re a VERB THE NOUN band,” you pretty much know exactly what you will be getting: long hair, skinny jeans with baggy t-shirts, Vans, and interchangeable songs that alternate between screaming, clean vocals, and breakdowns (thanks to my girl Michelle for that term).
With that in mind, you can imagine how excited I got when I saw that there’s actually a band called VERB THE NOUN! Initially I assumed that they were a lulzy parody band whose premise was adopting all the genre’s obvious cliches and exaggerating them to the point of awesomeness (see CRUCIAL YOUTH and NEW YORKMENT).
There are few things more painful and difficult for me to look at than pictures like this– just imagining them awkwardly attempting to “rock out” while their four friends who they guilted in coming watch disinterestedly makes me want to throw myself on a sword in vicarious embarrassment
Then I clicked through and got even more excited– as evidenced by the lulzy photos of them playing in some sad little coffee shop in Harrisburg PA, they were clearly not a joke band. Orange amps? Check. “Zany” songtitles like “Gary Busey Hairline”?? Check. Could it be we have found the absolutely bottom of the barrel of generic, shitty Sumeriancore/Risecore bands?? The holy grail of clueless suburban kids doing 5th generation copies of a style that was generic and uninspired to begin with?? My heart raced at the possibilities!!
Their FB info is a pretty classic example of “clueless local band who will never play to more than 12 people”. I especially like “sprinkled with delightful tangents that lead into strong grooves and break-downs.”
Well I hate to rain on the parade, but it turns out they are just horrible, horrible indie/college rock, like some dreadful band who would play a high school battle of the bands and play a Dinosaur Jr cover. They probably came up with the name when they were working on a freshman English 101 group project and watching Monty Python, and most likely have no idea who Design The Skyline or After The Burial are. Sorry there isn’t a better punchline, but such is life- maybe someone will start a band called SILENCING THE SILENCE that will live up to everything we wanted from Verb The Noun!