Call me crazy, but I am not really into Megan Fox, Katy Perry, or girls in corny “sexy nurse” outfits. I mean obviously I would stab the guts in a heartbeat just to say I did, but they really don’t do anything for me. People think I’m crazy when I say this, but I’m also not really into blonde girls with big tits or other girls that most of my friends seem to be be. I like all kinds of bishes but I guess those garden variety “hot chicks” just aren’t my type– although I realized with some embarrassment that I definitely do have a type.
From what I can tell, my type is plain-ish OTW girls (that’s “other than white,” for anyone who hasn’t caught on by now) with round faces who most people think are 7.5′s at best :( It’s not important to me if they are black, mexi, azn, Persian, or some combination of the above as long as they have darker skin than me, smile a lot, and look like they would be working at the Target customer service counter if they weren’t famous.
Jeannie Mae looks so much like my azn that she could easily be her sister, if my azn’s actual sister wasn’t a coalburner who wears Juicy Couture track pants everywhere and has to get restraining orders against every guy she dates
Jess Bowen = the epitome of plain-ish, round-faced, tomboy OTW (half-Filipino) who is a 7.5 in the eyes of my friends but an 11 in my book
In addition to being a round-faced OTW, Maya Rudolph gets serious bonus points for being one of the funniest people on the planet. I am not ashamed to say that Bridesmaids was one of my favorite movies of all time!
Vanessa Hudgens is proof that half-Flip seems to be pretty much guaranteed hotness (see also Mario Lopez). On the one hand I’m stoked that my future children will be cute babies, but then I get really scared when I think about what will happen when they sprout tits and start to attract the attention of “urban” guys
I can’t think of too many things more groce than dude who have yellow fever, but maybe I’m no better since I have a serious case of brown fever: I love Mexican girls, especially my girl Demi Lovato.
I have to give some dap to Eurasian girls, especially Ukranian jewesses like Olga Kurylenko and Mila Kunis! I’m not sure that most Americans consider them OTW, but Hitler sure did [via genocide]. Also big ups to Armenian and Persian ladies.
“Bend It Like Beckham” was so boring I wanted to throw myself on a sword, but I sat through it anyway for the sake of Parminder Nagra. I wonder if she rolled her eyes when they wanted her to play a doctor on ER and said “Fucking white people… oh well, a paycheck’s a paycheck.”
Someone needs to aware Rashida Jones about OTW, so she will have an easy answer for stupid questions like this
What is your type?? Do you suspect me of being a ghey because I’m not into Megan Fox? What about if I say that I’m not into Kim Kardashian because her ass is too big??? I have a friend who is friends with Demi Lovato (srs), should I try to stab it?!?!?!