Call me crazy, but I am not really into Megan Fox, Katy Perry, or girls in corny “sexy nurse” outfits. I mean obviously I would stab the guts in a heartbeat just to say I did, but they really don’t do anything for me. People think I’m crazy when I say this, but I’m also not really into blonde girls with big tits or other girls that most of my friends seem to be be. I like all kinds of bishes but I guess those garden variety “hot chicks” just aren’t my type– although I realized with some embarrassment that I definitely do have a type.
From what I can tell, my type is plain-ish OTW girls (that’s “other than white,” for anyone who hasn’t caught on by now) with round faces who most people think are 7.5′s at best :( It’s not important to me if they are black, mexi, azn, Persian, or some combination of the above as long as they have darker skin than me, smile a lot, and look like they would be working at the Target customer service counter if they weren’t famous.
Jeannie Mae looks so much like my azn that she could easily be her sister, if my azn’s actual sister wasn’t a coalburner who wears Juicy Couture track pants everywhere and has to get restraining orders against every guy she dates
Jess Bowen = the epitome of plain-ish, round-faced, tomboy OTW (half-Filipino) who is a 7.5 in the eyes of my friends but an 11 in my book
True story!
In addition to being a round-faced OTW, Maya Rudolph gets serious bonus points for being one of the funniest people on the planet. I am not ashamed to say that Bridesmaids was one of my favorite movies of all time!
Vanessa Hudgens is proof that half-Flip seems to be pretty much guaranteed hotness (see also Mario Lopez). On the one hand I’m stoked that my future children will be cute babies, but then I get really scared when I think about what will happen when they sprout tits and start to attract the attention of “urban” guys
I can’t think of too many things more groce than dude who have yellow fever, but maybe I’m no better since I have a serious case of brown fever: I love Mexican girls, especially my girl Demi Lovato.
I have to give some dap to Eurasian girls, especially Ukranian jewesses like Olga Kurylenko and Mila Kunis! I’m not sure that most Americans consider them OTW, but Hitler sure did [via genocide]. Also big ups to Armenian and Persian ladies.
“Bend It Like Beckham” was so boring I wanted to throw myself on a sword, but I sat through it anyway for the sake of Parminder Nagra. I wonder if she rolled her eyes when they wanted her to play a doctor on ER and said “Fucking white people… oh well, a paycheck’s a paycheck.”
Someone needs to aware Rashida Jones about OTW, so she will have an easy answer for stupid questions like this
What is your type?? Do you suspect me of being a ghey because I’m not into Megan Fox? What about if I say that I’m not into Kim Kardashian because her ass is too big??? I have a friend who is friends with Demi Lovato (srs), should I try to stab it?!?!?!
Jess Bowen looks dangerously underage, and has the body of 13 year old boy. Harsh groce D.
That’s pretty harsh, but she really doesn’t have any hips…
Don’t really have a type, but if anything I tend to go for chicks who are on the skinny side but have bubble butts. Don’t have anything against dating pale-skinned girls, but I do tend to make fun of them for being white and accuse them of being walking stereotypes of whiteness at every opportunity.
NO FUCKS GIVEN! And she is 23 i think
The Summer Set has just been confirmed for SOundwave next year… may have to check em out to see what the big fuss is about…
LOL maya rudolph? are you serious? I mean all the others yeah, but maya rudolph???? that shit is a 2 at most
Would wife/10
Totally impressed by the choice of Maya Rudolph.
Me too, very pretty lady.
Maya’s cute in a way.
But Bridesmaids was terrible.
asians are the best because you can find hot ones that actually have good personalities due to low self esteem brought on by overly critical parents.
OH FUCK DIDN’T EVEN THINK ABOUT THIS NOW LIFE MAKES SO MUCH SENSE
I like ridic. skinny girls with dyed hair who like kicking the shit. Small breasts are pretty sweet, can’t stand those big ones that go all googly eyed when smashing. OTW is pretty great too, I love living in Australia, we so multicultural cept I don’t think I’ll ever be able to smash a hispanic coz there aren’t any around (I hooked up with one once but she was some weird exchange student and I forgot her name :/). Ever seen polish girls? Pretty great!
I like to think that I dont really have a type, but that may be due to my circumstances at the moment. I would pretty much smash anything. I would smash any famous chick just for the lulz.
If I had to pick, I guess I would prefer skinny chicks with smaller boobs. That is probably due to the fact that the majority of the chicks that I have boned have been chubby with medium to larger boobs.
You should totes hook me up with Demi, for srs. Dont be selfish bro. Do it for America, Freedom, Democracy, and all that nonsense.
Damn, sounds like you’ve always had limited options? Doing chubbies when you dont really want to seems like a masochists endeavor.
Once you are drunk sex is sex. So at that point you dont mind what the chick looks like. I also used to have a scene girl phase.
I have been out of the game for like a year, living only with dudes in jail, but I am now free and willing to smash on anything.
I absolutely love Demi Lovato.
Speaking of which… Serg, check out this bish: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnDvk8I-B5A
Kinda reminds me of Demi. She’s on the Aussie version of X-factor.
Would smash in a heart-beat. She can’t sing for shit though.
As for having a “type”? I’m not too sure. Eva Green, Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Eva Spence all do it for me. Very different looking chix though.
My type? Funny smart chicks. If I had to choose a body type, I guess I’d say “petite”. Then again, i’m a total beta male (super srs, I love The Wonder Years non-ironically and everything; feelsbadman.), so of course I’m “more interested in her personality than her body”.
You are doing it right (srs)
Thetotalbro method of bish selection: Sargent D approved! Thanks, brah!
genius fucking post searge A+ alpha shit
rashida jones is fucking hot
HAHAHAHHAHA “I really like Japanese video games and Asian/half Asian girls”. I think your next post should be all about your wall scroll collection!
I believe i was very clear that i do NOT have yellow fever! I have only dated/banged one azn girl my whole life! I have BROWN fever, not yellow fever.
I like blondes. Well, blondes like me. Maybe a pheromone thing (am blonde myself)
“i would fuck me”
I have a magazine with a picture of Megan Fox from that same photoshoot as the picture you posted, and when I first got it I agree that I thought “whats with all the hype about her?”. She is ok and I can see why people would find her hot, but she never did it for me.
Katy Perry on the other hand…she is my weakness. It’s probably because she looks so much like Zooey D and that has confused my brain into thinking they are the same.
katy perry got nice boobies but has a pancake ass. boobies are over rated. HALF WAY TO DRUNK YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
What about those of us who like dudes and aren’t into women? This blog = heterosexist !!!
Agreeing with Sarge – OTW “nice girls” own. As for other types I like hipster girls, and scene/emo chicks obviously tend to be hot.
Plus, you know creepy 4chan/tumblr anime OMG SO RANDUM LOL girls? Those groups always have like one or two hot ones. Those hot ones? In a nutshell, THAT’S my type. Seriously.
Then there’s metal chicks, which I spend too much time around, being a dude who has long hair, wears black metal shirts and generally… is metal. Some of them like me, but I don’t like them because THEY’RE GROSS. You’re so right about them, Sarge.
Anyway the point is moot because it turns out I’m bisexual, and I have a boyfriend now. looooool
ha! well maybe you can fap to Mario Lopez, he’s a hot OTW brah
Eh, I agree with your taste in girls – bigtits blondes are super overrated (gotta admit I find Katy Perry super hot though, as much as I hate her voice), and similarly muscular dudes like that don’t really do anything for me.
By the way, I have to mention: this may sound absurd, but your Metal Inquisition post about powerviolence played a somewhat significant role in bringing me and my BF together. Just had to mention it, hahahaha
ha, nice! I met my ex (who i was with for 8 years) through the bassist for Phobia, so I know how grindcore brings couples together!
backed hard. met my fiance almost 8 years ago through a metal/grind forum. plus she’s a cuban from miami originally and I’ve always had brown fever (plus the food is ridiculous)
High five for Demi. Love her. I think I like the girls you hate though, but someone has to smash them.
Hmm…I’d say curvy girls. Not the “I’M NOT FAT I’M CURVY” idiots, but chicks with a natural hourglass shape- a nice one, not into the kind of ass you can serve drinks off. If their ribs are sticking out, they’re doin’ it wrong, and straight up-and-down just doesn’t appeal to me in a girl (I go to guys for that- so no Jess Bowen for me).
haha everybody calls me gay because i HATE curves on girls. HATE wide hips/big butts, i am all about that jess bowen bodytype!
I agree with Jaded. Love the curves! To each his own, I guess?
Curves for sure. I always go for round faces and big eyes. Can’t really seem to get into girls with anything less than a C cup either.
This is backed. Curves usually equal fun.
Sluts with daddy issues for sure. But straight up got a thing for redheads, not gingers, but like girls like Lindsey Lohan. But 90% of the time I hook up with girls I’m either drunk or high as fuck, or both, so I’m generally not too picky. If it’s a water-balloon and is wearing something slutty from forever 21 I’m on that shit like white on rice.
BACKED
petit (not ano tho), redhead, short hair. big eyes and nice smile preferable. angry enough to understand my bullshit, nice enough to deal with it.
thats natural redhead too, fuck dyejobs. nothing kills my boner like dyejobs. so i guess otw is out the window for me, although would smash most of yr list–but no jess bowen or maya rudolph for me, you can have em sarge
I used to think Asians were unmatched, then I went to college and missed Latinas so much, but now I realize the truth. The most beautiful women are of questionable race, where they could Asian/black/Indian/Latin/white or mixed and you never really have any idea. That’s my dream girl. Or cute Asian. Whatever works.
Also, is that first pic Micah Moore? solid.
the definition of OTW!
And this idea, Melanie Iglesias is the hottest girl alive. So mixed, so gorgeous.
big fan of Meagan Good too (as seen in You Got Served): http://shocktillyoudrop.com/nextraimages/meagansaw.jpg
Solid. What about this girl I found while looking for another one:
http://ameltingpotofthoughts.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/AnniePhamKimFeatureLarge.png
Totally agree about Megan Fox. Would smash, but she doesn’t really do anything for me although on paper she seems like a 10. However, I find Katy Perry hot as fuck until she opens her mouth. Very annoying personality.
Mainly into white girls, but also have a thing for Hispanic chicks….too bad they all seem to balloon up after the age of 22. :(
Alison Brie.
BACKED
fuck to the yes
yup http://thechive.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/1312398016747.gif?w=320&h=320
Backed soooo hard on jess bowen.
THANK YOU, sometimes i feel like i am the only person who is into her!
Don’t worry, you most certainly are not. Totally into the “grew up nerdy/tomboyish and happened to turn out really good looking” type.
As I am azn I’m naturally predisposed to feel a stronger attraction to my azn sisters but personally I like most races of girls bei it black, white, european, jewish as long as their physical appearence appeals to me. And I have to agree with the sarge tho, I like skinny, slightly petite girls with natural medium sized breasts. Personality wise, I’m more into chill, flirty girls (who doesn’t anyway? ) who knows how to work a guy up but sensible enough to not smash every living organism in the vacinity that has a dong. Kinda like a mix between the artsy tomboy + undercover mainstreamer. Celebrity examples include Olivia Wilde, Lizzy Caplan, Gemma Arterton and Noureen Dewulf.
“As I am azn I’m naturally predisposed to feel a stronger attraction to my azn sisters…”
Ew.
i don’t really know if i have a type, although i have a thing for petite girls that creeps me out a little. i’m OTW myself, so i’m into all flavors of OTW. my dbag goal is to bang the rainbow, so to speak.
groce. not only is my dick a racist, my whole brain is racist. i’ve never been attracted to “people of color”, especially the mexicans of the asains, Philipino. the northern european/eastern european standard of beauty will always be it for me. Flips are just groce groce groce.
BRB marrying a flip
BRB having half-flip kids
BRB tasting the rainbow of bishes
LOLZ
none of them would smash u anywayz, sry.
LONDON ANDREWS
Emma Roberts <3
dude, agreed. something about the stoned eyes/huge mouth combo that i love (srs)
Backed hard.
Although I’m a eurofag 2dabone and hence dig on petite, kinda-alt., skinny, aloof white chicks who thinks getting a degree on is awesome (hard beta rocking across the pond), I would absolutely blood smash every single bish in every single video by recording artist Travis Tatum Mills aka T.Mills. ugonnagetraped.jpg
in that case you will be stoked on my upcoming post about BRO HOS! T-mills is from a part of California called the Inland Empire, which is the capital of bro hos– you’d be in heaven!
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bro%20ho
http://thedatedr.com/sites/default/files/styles/large/public/danielle.jpg
http://tinyurl.com/6g7lvq4 — amidoinitrite?
fuck, would def not fly out sunday. Would miss out on fri/sat partying!!! What’s the drive from LAX to Inland Empire?
Depends on traffic and where in the IE- maybe an hour or so? Fly into ontario instead, youll already be in the IE!
I get to rep the IE. I have also found that chicks from N. SD are hot and easy. Like from Escondido.
Demi lavato is one of the hottest girls of all time. Ill take a cute smart girl over a hot slut any day. Haha id fuck katy perry every day if i could though, shes the exception lolol
I agree with every single thing you said in this post and it makes most of my friends think I’m insane. I love living on south Florida because of this, adorable OTW girls are fucking everywhere, so many wifey types. You might have to wade through a sea of chongas to find them but its totally worth it.
DIOS MIO ESTOS CHONGAS
Have you heard of the TV Show Alphas (lol)? One of the actresses is this fucking phenomenal Afghan girl: http://www.esquire.com/women/me-in-my-place/azita-ghanizada-pictures-2011#fbIndex1
I haven’t had such serious wood for an actress in a long time.
I used to be a sucker for big titty white girls, but my woman has since turned me into a devoted ass man. Round n’ Brown 4lyfe.
I imagine Afghan chicks get hot, but they have the curse of mexican women. Meaning that after a certain age the lose all their looks and become a round wrinkly think. The def dont keep their looks. I never get to see afghan chicks here though. they always run and hide.
Interesting. That reminds me of Korean girls. They’ll be fit and pretty for a good while, then all of a sudden BOOM, they hit a brick wall with the looks and become grandmas.
good article, do disagree on some body features (re: dumpers.) BUT, just glad i’m not the only dude who thinks maya rudolph is really attractive. if she is anything like the character she played in away we go, i’d marry her.
just for the record, even with the whole hitler thing, ukrainians consider themselves pretty W and would be pretty mad if anyone suggested otherwise. i would know because they are my kinda bish.
Don’t blame the messenger!! I’m just saying, the only reason I ever banged the Ukranian bishes that I did (here in the USA) is because their grandparents had to flee Herr Hitler 70 years ago
I’m with ya Sarge most bishes considered HOT are in 1 word NOT in my opinion. For me it’s gingers. I love em the more freckles the oranger the hair that’s my shit. I like em so pale you can see through them so I married one. Now that’s fn alpha bro fuck fake tits, highlights and tans.
Olivia Munn?
hot but annoying
My Life as Liz Lee
I’m not sure that most Americans consider them OTW, but Hitler sure did [via genocide].
Hahahaha that’s awesome…well not really but you get what I mean..
Do you really count Eastern Euro girls as OTW though?
I read about another type of OTW the other day… It’s asians that don’t like their asianess…
It’s called a banana, yellowon the outside and white on the inside… thought that was pretty funny… never heard that one before
check this out– i think you are referring to aznbros, which may SEEM like they are ‘acting white,’ but are in fact acting super SUPER azn:
http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/2011/06/lets-talk-about-aznbros-via-mountlake-terracealhambra/
Megan Fox = groce. I’m not really into the whole permanent droolface + plastic tits getup. I do think Katy Perry is sexy as fuck, tho
OTWs can be hot, but we definitely disagree on the specifics there. Jess Bowen is a bit cute I guess, but if I wanted to fuck a 12 year old boy, I’d become a priest. However, Mila Kunis = backed hard.
As for my “type,” I’m really into both good old American blond hair + big tits (though great ass is a priority over that), as well as the skinny, tallish indie types, like the kind that’s really shy and would become a librarian or something (this is an unfortunate interest, since their personalities are almost always really fucking grating).
LOVE ME SUM KOREAN AND FLIP PUSSY MYSELF… BUT MY MAIN SQUEEZES ARE BOMB TALL ATHLETIC GRINGAS WITH COLORED EYES AND BOMB CURVACIOUS SULTRY LATIN CHICKS WITH BIG BOOTIES N TIGO’ BITTIES =D
KICK ASS POST SARGE BUT CAN’T WAIT FOR THE BRO HO’S POST!!!! LIVING IN L.A YOU GET A DIVERSE MELTING POT BUT ONCE YOU GET INTO THE SUBURBS OF THE LBC AND O.C AND EVEN WORSE (THE I.E: GODDAMN REDNECK HICKS “THEY TOOK ER JOBS!!! TERKER DEERRRRRRR!!!!!”) YOU GET THE SEMI TO COMPLETE RACIST BRO’S N BRO-HO’S THAT LOVE GETTING D.G.A.F. AND IRON KNUCKLE TATTS N SHIT LMFAO!!! SOME BRO-HO’S ARE FUCKEN HOTT AS FUCK BUT I HATE THE DOUCHEBAG HITLER BF’S THEY ARE WITH THAT DRIVE THOSE ANNOYING ASS LIFTED F-1-2-3-50′S THAT HAVE TO COMPENSATE FOR THEIR B.M.I’S DOWN THERE HAHAHAHAHA!!! I LOVE MY BRO HO’S AS STRIPPERS AND JUST TO FUCK N SMASH N STAB N LICK N HANDLES (;-D) BUT TO WIFEY NAH… I MUST SETTLE WITH A HOT LATIN CHICK OR THOSE CHILL LIBERAL HIPPIE WHITE CHICKS FROM THE LBC OR A SMART GRINGA FROM SOME OBSCURE PART OF L.A (PASADENA OR THE WEST SIDE N SHIT HAHAHA)
Haha Sarge do you realize how NOT Alpha this post makes you seem! But seriously, I am pretty much with you on types! I am a total snob for dark hair, and it doesn’t matter if the girl is white or brown… And I don’t love fakes either… though sometimes I guess haha
NO FUCKS GIVEN, when did i say i was alpha??
Well you never make fun of Alphas, you only make fun of Betas, but dude its cool… I don’t care who is alpha or not
Man, when it comes to everything but music we really do have a lot in common. I look about as Master Race as they get (minus being a 180 cm manlet by Danish standards due to peasant French Canadian blood… no fucks given), but I’ve got a thing for girls like this too. Must be due to the fact that I went to high school in Vancouver.
186 cph based dane here. No fucks.
Let’s split the flight to I.E. next week and make it aryan real in Cali.
If I wasn’t broke I’d be down because your tumblr is just that awesome. Science rules when done right.
I’m with you bro. 7.5 – 8ish OTW chicks get me going. Also chicks that are half black.
Married to a ginger though. Because even though only like 5% of gingers are hot, the hot ones are WAY hotter than anything else. Case in point: Isla Fischer
Hottest things about girls”
1.) they do acid.
2.) they are missing a tooth in a cute way.
3.) perk over size all day on boobs
4.) listen to OG rap/joni mitchell
5.) they actually make you laugh
I think Katy Perry is seriously so fine… Didn’t think so until I saw that California Girls video though…
I’ve got a massive thing for curvy black chicks despite the fact I’m a nerdy white guy who hates hip hop.
i totally dig the over-loved famous chicks and i’m kind of ashamed of it sometimes. i love megan fox
I’m late to the party here, but Emmanuelle Chriqui anybody?
http://www.flickr.com/photos/34599653@N04/3217955604/
Moroccan Jewess. Would Marry/10