When you start a really shitty “clothing company”

There are few things harder to watch than when someone acts like they are much more successful than they really are (ala Destroy the Ghost). The part that’s really cringeworthy is that it’s crystal clear to everybody but the participants that they’re not fooling anybody, so you watch them prance around like a complete asshole, knowing that in their mind they’ve successfully tricked everyone into thinking that they’re living the dream when in reality it’s precisely the opposite.

For example, this promo video for some z-level brand called Branville (note that it has 250 views, ouch). You’ll have a hard time making it all the way through, but it’s worth watching as a great example of how to make yourself look like an asshole via ‘starting a clothing company’:

  1. Print some cheap 1-color shirts with generic slogan in Impact font
  2. Call up a few 7.5s from the local hair school
  3. Stand around the pool at a motel in Palm Desert at 2pm on a Tuesday acting like you are rubbing elbows with A-listers in the VIP
  4. ???
  5. PROFIT Break even if you’re lucky

Oh yeah, and I think you can see this guy’s weiner on Is Anyone Up if you want.

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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53 Responses to When you start a really shitty “clothing company”

  1. Save Parker says:

    $20 says those girls had to give the shirts back when they done filming this.

    So sad when people invest so much in overpriced shirts that anyone could probably make on their own for less money. But its the natural next-step when a bro’s scene band/rap project doesn’t work out.

  2. Dellde says:

    Those chicks were at least 8.5′s.

  3. Mustard Tiger says:

    One of the dudes is wearing a wife beater under his stupid cut down the sides tshirt. Fuck white people.

  4. Deestroy says:

    Would smash. The one in the pink is a 7 and the other two are 6s.

  5. Crazy Pasta says:

    Turns out you get a 404 if you try to look at the webstore. That’s what I call quality.

  6. Milkman says:

    i have a theory on why they are not successful.
    no impact font.

  7. wesss says:

    3 girls… 3 guys… the ratios are off. I’d feel bad for the other two dudes having to share the ugly girl.

  8. Dirty says:

    Shitty clothing companys. What like Tapout or Affliction.

  9. sweatdripsfrommyballs says:

    Thats what you get with teenage kids and a pirated edition of Adobe Suite, a pay pal account and webstores like MerchNow and Merch Direct. Everyone thinks they are a shirt designer just cause they can afford to slap a bunch of generic stock fonts on a t shirt and get it printed through an online store that also handles the shipping as well.

  10. Anonymous says:

    i bet once they find out about this they will say THANKS FOR MAKING US MORE POPULARRRR

  11. Walker says:

    Heh, my brother and I have been sort of joking about starting a clothing company. because it seems so easy to buy/import tshirts from somewhere, put stupid shit on them and sell them for $80+ in new zealand. the primary market for paying out the ass for stupid tshirts is a demographic we call “chadsters”, which are basically jocks combined with entry level hipsters. They have lots of money via rich parents, want to fit in via hipsters and are stupid as fuck via jocks so they will spend $110 on an am appy shirt with a picture of two polar bears blowing each other without a second thought. Maybe im mistaken and its a huge pain in the ass, or maybe the trendy streetwear business is just way more cutthroat in the US?

    • Martin Regnen says:

      Two polar bears blowing each other? Make that two lesbian polar bears eating each other out and I’ll take one in XL!

    • Anonymous says:

      i know so many people like that, i didn’t even realize it until now

    • Sergeant D says:

      The streetwear market in the us is competitive as fuck, no doubt about that. NZ seems like a pretty sophisicated market but if theres an opening, do it!

  12. Lewis C. says:

    A post that expresses how I’ve been feeling. I’m tired of seeing these stupid clothing brands that douche bags set up thinking they are some ace brand but they are all unimaginative and no one wants them.

  13. Kevin says:

    Lol @ the Bridge Club sitting by the pool at :30 and :43.

  14. Dellde says:

    Lowest I’ll go is 8. I can’t see 7.5, which reads C+ to me.

  15. Dellde says:

    Oh and yea, the whole image they are going for is so fake.

    • Anonymous says:

      well, yeah. they are lame, prolly be the bros that get butthurt when I drink all their booze and make their girlfriends laugh at them.

  16. Dudewat says:

    Is it just me or does the guy in the red’s shirt have an Aryan Pride logo on it?

  17. Taytex says:

    I was totally prepared for this to be about Diamond Cut, while admittedly this is a lot fucking worse. The girls definitely aren’t unattractive, so I’m going to say their incentive for doing this was $15 or “hey ladies, who wants a FREE T-SHIRT EVERYONE LOVES A FREE T-SHIRT HAHA RITE????”. I cannot stand the new streetwear culture breaking out. I’m not sure whether these losers even qualify, but I’m sick of seeing my friends shell out $60 for some lame ass t-shirt with a shitty generic minimal design on it. It’s just about the brand name, it’s all K-Mart tier shit.

  18. Onil says:

    This video was really painful to watch.
    I can only imagine what that old lady sitting by the pool was thinking about those people using retarded t-shirts with a retarded print on it and drinking.

  19. King Krakken says:

    Opening animation on their website is so underwhelming – as in I’d be disappointed to be at that kind of entry-level event.

    And whatup with the Kramer hair dude with the horrifically bad tattoos? I was almost mesmerized by the terrible work…

  20. Fred Durst says:

    Also, are the girls sisters/cousins/daughter’s of one of their mom’s friends?

  21. Grindcore Ted says:

    hahahaha, hilariously sad

  22. Taytex says:

    inb4 MGMT sends them a cease and desist

  23. Brassington says:

    Does the one in the red shirt wear that sailor hat to show his authority? Kind of like he’s the captain of the project.

  24. Anonymous says:

    anyone else notice the old lady sitting in the pool behind them?

  25. Wintermute says:

    “BranVille Clothing begain in the streets of Los Angeles, CA in 2008. Starting out as just street art…”

    So these dudes were tagging/stenciling/wheatpasting “party for a living” on walls? Bullshit.

  26. Pingback: When Your Local Band Has a “World Premiere” for Their Music Video [Via Mexicans Who Think They Are Danny Worsnop] | STUFF YOU WILL HATE

  27. zipE says:

    crappest partiers ever, crapartying to the crappest song ever. the metros doing cumshots with their drinks gave me a mild, slightly nauseous laughy feeling. scarred

    • nigroski says:

      dude.. i thought tha same shit.. where they pour it in his mouth like and he squirts some out.. i was like man fuck that, there’s no way i would’ve wanted that shot of me in the video if i was in that shit. super homo.

  28. Lloyd George says:

    Brooks Brothers once an American icon has taken the route of attempting to follow the demographics of sleaze with its shrunken appearing suits, blazers and sport-coats modeled on what appear to be anorexics in the last stages of some dreadfully contagious disease. Like $5,000.00 dollar stolen hubcaps on an oil burning old Plymouth the look reeks of what-a-be underachievement and a congenital absence of hygiene and taste.

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