If there’s anything I love to do, it’s avoiding human contact and mocking the rest of the human race within the comfort of my own room through teh power of da innernets. Recently, I’ve created a tumblr account after realizing that I needed it to peddle around my half-assed MS painted drawings about whatever stuff I could think about during my break time from work (mostly making fun of musicians and philosophers I like etc).
The other day, I saw one of Sergeant D’s sheeple (follower) raise a question as to whether the existence of “hot girls with personalities,” is a moot point, to which he responded by saying these broads are actually in abundance unless his definition of “hot” consists of girls who look like “porn stars, suicide girls and tumblrsluts.”
And so it perked my curiosity and asked the Sarge a question myself:
For one, I honestly did not know what a “tumblrslut” looks like. I haven’t been really active on tumblr. I once had an account but I deleted it so obviously I was like, “WTF is a tumblrslut anyway?” I went to that dude’s site and lo and behold…Naked girls errywhere. But which is which? I needed to know how to tell them apart because apparently the lines among “pornstars, suicide girls, and tumblrsluts” are kinda blurred these days.
Naturally, the nerd in me was screaming for specifications. I must do something about it. Curiosity killed the cat and probably half of my brain cells because I went on and investigated further. It’s about time I put my degree in psychology to practical application. I’ve wasted my life long enough on writing thesis proposals and term papers anyway.
………….
After maybe ten minutes of using the scientific method I gave up on it and went straight to generalizations and came up with this summarized conclusion:
I wanted to write a TL;DR comparative analysis based on my lulzy findings but since most people don’t really read anymore (especially the ones frequenting this site, u mad bro?) I won’t bother writing stuff filled with psychological/sociological jargons people wouldn’t understand/give a shit about. I will therefore, elaborate on it using my skillful illustrayshunz.
Exhibit A: The Porn Stars
Exhibit B: The Suicide Girls
Exhibit C: The Tumblr Histrionics*
End of discussion.
*I changed it to tumblr histrionics for mah personal usage since I don’t really like using the term ‘slut.’ Yuh, you can say I’m no fun club but I’m just really not used to it–that and I’m a closet feminazi (lulz). Although the Sarge made it clear to me that it’s just another way of describing a stupid attention-seeking individual on tumblr and not really anti-wimminz. Of course, of course. But since people are idiots and you have to spoon-feed them information, I just have to define my politics behind this to steer clear from unnecessary drama that might potentially be brought upon by teh butthurt PC police. We cool bro?
great post!
Love the paragraph at the end. We cool bro. *bump*
We cool. *fist bump*
I wonder if my drawings gave anyone bonerz. That would be so hilarious and sad at the same time.
STAB DEM GUTS
Thought so.
One of the greatest posts ever
“If there’s anything I love to do, it’s mocking the rest of the human race…”
It’s like, you don’t love anything because like, humans = shit. And humans have eradicated nature in the name of “progress”, so there’s nothing to love.
“…the nerd in me”
Noted: no one of any worth over 25 uses the term nerd.
You keep winning with your MS Paint drawings, because you guys are all way beyond Photoshop.
Trve. Human beings suck omg lol.
And who needs Photoshop when MS paint still works?
I’m at a Touché Amore show. You guys mad?
Nah bro. I listen to them on occasion even. People should just stop giving a shit about what another person gives a shit about if they don’t want to end up like a bunch of mewling butthurt loserz.
Yo fuck da PC po-lice
Eff da po-po!
umm post noodz or it didnt happen (yesss- first REAL comment)
1. Make a tumblr account.
2. Start following this Tumblrbro:
http://smookahontas.tumblr.com
3. ???
3. N00dz all day everyday!
haha nice! I think you’re giving suicide girls/alt porn chicks too much credit tho, they aren’t doing it for the money, they barely get paid, if at all. suicide girls pays about 200$ and they have the right to keep those pics up for life/publish them however they want, andy friend used to own a popular competing alt porn site, (actual porn vids though, not just pics like SG, so even worse) and they paid about the same… so yeah, its all just for attention aside from girls that do real porn consistiantly for a living, thats due to child abuse.
I am aware of that though. But…
“After maybe ten minutes of using the scientific method I gave up on it and went straight to generalizations.”
Haha.
Yeah pretty much this, and to feel like they are more special/in an elite club that any tumblrslut could not attain. They say/think things like “YOU could never get PAID to MODEL like I DO, all these AMATEURS and WANNABES are so sad”, only she only got paid like $200 to get naked and have it distributed wholesale by a company who will make a profit off of it for years.
Tumblrsluts can delete their sites and due to the volume of naked chicks on the internet they can be relatively unknown within two to five years, a God’s Girl or Suicide Girl is forever immortalized for her shitty $200, aka one good bar tab or a week’s worth of food and gas.
http://oi39.tinypic.com/9a8g91.jpg
facepalm.jpg
worst part is, that girl is beat– WOOD NOT SMASH. also, “myspace”? lol
I love that she has an Amazon wishlist posted.
“SHOWER ME WITH GIFTS BECAUSE I GET NAKED ON THE INTERNET!”
She actually posted her tumblr here. She said follow her and maybe you’ll get a br0 job.
http://lottey.tumblr.com
Don’t miss the opportunity!
I think “More tattoos and PBR” would be more fitting than “college loans” for the Suicide Girl.
On point man. I should’ve but I associate pbr with hipsters more so that didn’t cross my mind.
The lines between “indie”, “hipster”, and “amateur model” are almost completely nonexistent at this point. Everyone under 30 who thinks things are really important and meaningful just falls into the same shitty little pile.
you fall under exhibit D: tr00 tumblrslut.
“hay guise look I’m soo different than the other girls on tumblr that post noodz, they have no dignity! i think nudity is wrong, but I’m into feminism LOL!!!! BRB i need to make more nerd baiting youtube videos of myself dancing to grindcore, but yeah all these other girls just want attention! I’m serious and authentic!”
Cool story bro. Needs more dragons.
signed, a tumblr “histrionic”
Haha – if you only knew how much convincing went into getting her to write a post!
Also, I don’t think nudity is wrong if done right:
See this? Shinchan is doing nudity right.
http://protaku.com/pics/shin/shin_anim.gif
Going off on a tangent about naked girl analysis: a few years ago I was talking to a programmer dude that I was in a band with about how hard it would be to write some software that makes a 3D model of boobs from 2D images, and then searches for other boobs that have a similar shape. I don’t think he ever wrote it, he’d probably be rich today if he did…
He could’ve bought thousands of boobies from the money he could’ve acquired from that boobies search engine.
What’s Thinspiration?
According to Google, I guess it’s pictures of skinny girls that are meant to inspire other girls to also be skinny, and somehow this has something to do with anorexia or something?
I don’t get it.
U R a dude = U don’t get it
The average girl operates mainly on two principles: lust and envy. Hence the reason tumblr is full of:
“OMG I WANT THIS CAKE.”
“WTF SHE IS SOOOO SKINNY NO FAIR. :(“
Did you mean psycHOElogy, bro?
Tell me about yer childhewd.
Those girls look like Shinchan. There’s a part of me that wishes that I have never seen Shinchan naked before, but thems the internet breaks.
This article is fine, I guess. It sort of just reminds me of the girls I usually talk to, hedging superiority over other girls because THEY don’t get naked.
Except they do. We ALL do. To shower. And to sometimes have sex.
Shin chan show his weiner in the japanese version
I rent DVD’s with my nephews to watch/rewatch episodes. He is the best. It’s kinda sad how the English translation doesn’t quite cut it…the original humor (it’s loaded with old geezer puns and misheard words by Shin-chan,–not an American humor kinda thing, I guess?). So it’s pretty understandable that they change the dialogues completely to fit into the American context. Still woulda been rad if the translators worked harder, but then again things can really get lost in translation.
At least the american version is still funny and keeps a lot of the spirit of the original, unlike some translations. Language-based jokes in other languages don’t translate well no matter what.
yeah but how sweet is the first Unearth record?
Severely underrated post
Oh god that Smookahontas tumblr is fucking horrible.
‘artsy’ cars (wtf bro??), ‘artsy’ n00dz (come on, Nessa Devil is a fucking eastern european crazy-porn bish, not artsy at the least), ‘artsy’ tattoos (welcome to 2k9 with your cool new school sailor-inspired tattoos). And fucking picturs of Vans. Lord.
Ness devil is hot as fuck tho- just sayin
Backed massively hard. sotospeak.
I was wondering if it was some kind of joke, or an attempt to create the most generic tumblr ever.
Solid post, could used some sort of Venn diagram or chart. “The TumblrSlut derivation graph” maybe. Can you make those in MS Paint?
I kinda wanted to do that but lately I’ve been so fucking tired from work I just pass out the moment I get home.
Tumblrsluts DO get paid……it’s just that they get paid in male attention rather than $$$.
That’s wai dey sed: “Pay attention to us already.”
solid post. i’ll read your shit again.
lol, this dude dosent like saying “slut”… LOL
ugaybro?
uoutoftouchbro?
Dude its not a dude
How to read SYWH in 4 easy steps.
1. Read title.
2. Scroll through images.
3. Briefly skim text.
4. COMMENTS!!!
I’ve always been curious about the Suiside Girl economy – figured they get paid shit for that stuff… I also assume there is a healthy blowjob for tattoo economy at work as well? Can not understand some of the large work they get done on what I assume is a bottom of the 99% payscale?
My friend said he had this classmate who does SG to help her pay for community college so I just based my dialogue on that. Why would I do real srs research for Stuff You Will Hate? LULZ.
I enjoyed the post. Lol at the drawings, I just noticed the glasses on the tumblrsluts. That makes them look smarter than the porn stars for sure.
Because they’re special snowflakes.
You’ve got to laugh at the narrow minded loser that took the time to make this lol. I love her little vegan tat, she’s cute.
I laugh at the narrow minded loser who took the time to make a comment about how much of a narrow minded loser a person who wrote something in Stuff You Will Hate is–a scholarly site that must be taken very very seriously.
Indeed.
By the way i’m a Suicide Girl/Tumblr Slut, follow me and you get a free blowjob ;)
http://lottey.tumblr.com/
“After maybe ten minutes of using the scientific method I gave up on it and went straight to generalizations and came up with this summarized conclusion”
G E N E R A L I Z A T I O N S.
E
N
E
R
A
L
I
Z
A
T
I
O
N
S
I don’t think ALL of the girls who do SG are sluts who give free blowjobs. Do you understand the lulziness of your reaction?
In fact, I think THIS Japanese suicide girl is fucking amazing.
http://www.modelmayhem.com/1748069
I think it’s a joke tho? Don’t gotta b mad, <3 ur contribution to my day.
LOLz.. I’ll skip the obligatory comment on proving a tautology, but arguing that not all SGs do it for attention and money by posting your tumblr… facepalm.gif
If this is so off, explain why you do it then!
I get moar headaches with this than teaching a foreign language to old Japanese ladies. Is dis real rife?
It’s called sarcasm LOL, this is too funny!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Wow, just. Wow. *Slow Clap*
My reaction is just my opinion lol. You can’t expect SGs not to laugh at this thread.
Then why are you so butthurt about it?
It’s called taking the piss love.
Anyway i just stumbled across this site as someone posted it on a friends news feed, i got my lolz and now i shall leave you to get back to trolling :] x
Then you really even bothered to post my shitty drawing on your tumblr because you are “taking the piss”? Okay lulz. Well indeed. Nobody asked you to read this. Good girl. Toodaloo.
TOODALOO MOTHER FUCKERS!
O dear…lulz? lulziness? butthurt? Educated my ass! I wish I could make a
“Hey look I’m jelouse of other girls so I’m going to be all like, hey I have a degree and I feel better by bitching at girls on the internet!” post!
Is that you “Lottey”? Or did you bring another SG friend to wage flame war against me?
I love that you had to go back and edited that post to get your point across to little old me :]
I think the saying goes something like ‘don’t dish it out if you can’t take it’. It’s all very well taking the piss out of SGs…freedom of speech an all but in MY opinion it’s a little lame that you’ve gone to so much effort to slag people off, it just seems a bit sad.
You have the right to your say sure but don’t expect everyone to agree with you. At the end of the day this humoured me so i went along with the stereotype.
LOL, I’m very compulsive with typing replies. Forgivenuss purizu.
Promise gurl, it didn’t take much effort at all. Please stop imposing your self importance in other people’s minds. If you didn’t care AT ALL, why bother making any comment? It’s just lame that you had to really insist that I’ve “gone to so much effort to slag people off.”
It’s kinda the purpose of this site in the first place–to make fun at everything. Do you even understand that, at least?
your post is funny as fuck but what’s even more hilarious are the butthurt comments of butthurt people who had nothing to do but criticize something that is supposedly just for fun. Like that dude over there lol
ei yo kumichou great post! and nice shin chan drawings as well. I like that anime specially when it was dubbed in “tagalog” here in the Philippines (the guy who voiced shin chan was Andrew E which is hilarious). And btw i know your half filipina if i’m not mistaken. Post about some lulzy Pnoy stuff! I’ll give you some links if you want haha. We do have our own version of tumblrsluts mind you
Salamat po. AND DUDE, I AM AWARE OF THE JEJEMONS! “uzTa p0whz!?” Yes, sir I am also a halFlip. I went there last August to play last few shows with my band and nao we’re dead.
walang anuman and salamat din sa iyong pagsagot lol. Yeah jejemons are lulzy as fuck. The world needs to know that they exist! btw by dead you mean disbanded? What band is that? Do you play shows here in Quezon City?
Yeah. We live too far apart from each other. It’s just too impossible to do anything anymore. I think there was a documentary by Jessica Soho(?) about dem Jejemons though. I dunno much about Manila but we played our last show here: http://kalyeartgallery.tumblr.com/. My mom is from Davao. BISAYA MAN KO! HAHA!
ohh i see haha. I heard about that show but I didn’t go since I litteraly don’t know anyone in manila HC scene since I’m from the Metulz scene. Although I’ve seen some of those bands play on other gigs (IOV, Ishvara, Grind Matador). I’ve been in Davao once when I was in elementary.
The metulz and hc scene there tend to crossover sometimes. I don’t know anyone from the metulz scene in Manila but do you know this death metal band called Lapida in Davao? I’m friends with their vocalist, real chill bro who collects metul rekkerdz.
yeah i know that dude but i forgot the name tho (is he the bald one and I believe he has a fanzine too). he went to manila once to watch the black metulz band Ancient Warlord who are my drinking buddies/bros since birth and he chilled with us after the show. We got drunked from 1am to 10am in the morning and before i went home i asked the AW vocalist who that bald guy is (we were drinking all day but i forgot to ask who he was) and he told me it’s the guy from davao called Lapida. IDK if were talking bout the same guy tho hahaha. And yeah metulz and HC do crossover sumtimes. Ive been in da scene since HS. Do you know Faster than satan? I did vocals for that DM band
I’m talking about Kulot though. LOL that’s his nickname because his hair is kulot so maybe we’re not talking about the same guy. HAHAHA!
hahahahaha HOW MANY LAPIDAS ARE THERE IN DAVAO?!
and yeah that documentary by jessica was funny as hell. Dem jejemons are crazy lol
I like Word of the Lourd though. Lourd is fucking hilarious. Praise teh Lourd!
yeah lourd de veyra is the man. i really like his band radioactive sago project. “Gusto ko ng baboy” is one of the greatest pinoy songs evah!
Radio Active Sago Project will always be relevant.
damn straight.
Dude, dude…DO YOU KNOW HAY!MEN!/TUNAY NA LALAKE?!
This site is the best thing eva, bettar than Manny Pacquiao’s achievements.
http://tunaynalalake.blogspot.com/
Fuckingpinoys.jpg <3
As i just said don’t dish it out if you can’t take it. It’s all very well making fun at everything but the fact that you can’t handle those people having an opinion is hypocritical. Plus it’s sad that you need to make fun at everything :[ Cheer up! x
I didn’t say I “couldn’t handle” your opinion. Lol someone just called me teh ultimate tumblrslut for making this post. But unless that person’s my thesis adviser, I don’t geeb a dayuum. LOL I don’t NEED to make fun at everything. You see this is teh site descriptshun:
Stuff You Will Hate is a blog where we make fun of stuff we like, which usually makes people angry who don’t have a sense of humor. We are into pop, hardcore, death metal, rap, and pretty much anything else that isn’t for indie rockers and hipsters.
…lol’d immensely…but I can’t help the feeling that the author was someone I used to now from the hd haha.
HD?
lol @ all the ppl who caught some feelings from this article.
It’s not their fault.
O dear…lulz? lulziness? butthurt? Educated my ass! I wish I could make a
“Hey look I’m jelouse of other girls so I’m going to be all like, hey I have a degree and I feel better by bitching at girls on the internet!” post!
Then write an addendum or something. Make a submission here if you care too much. Then again you’d prolly say, nah, it’s not worth my time. Who’s being high and mighty nao?
Dames.
Everything makes way more sense with cute Asian drawings.
Porn star is clearly the best choice, suicide girls type girls can still make a decent living in mainstream porn. Tumblrsluts make me sad and that’s why I’ll never get a tumblr.
Tumblrsluts aren’t just some silly girls who don’t get enough attention. They are actually the most terrifying thing in the world today. So says Drake: http://octobersveryown.blogspot.com/2011/11/im-really-scared-for-my-generation-you.html
Drake continues to push the limits on what he means to be a bitchmade white knight pansy-ass Captain Save-A-Ho.
Yup. Though being scared of tumblrsluts still isn’t half as pussy as “Marvin’s Room”.
I think that Drake dude is high.
The only thing Drake injects is straight estrogen.
What is he? I don’t even know tha guy. Lulz.
Mnstrm rapper dude. Not really that popular, though – checking YT the only song he’s on that’s got more than 50 million views is a Rihanna track.
Maybe I have an ear infection–is this dude singing/rapping or just doing some autotuned humming throughout the entire song?
Autotuned humming is just the cool thing to do in 2k11 I guess?
fuck aubrey.
alls i know is i love me some naked girls on the internet. thank you, internet; thank you, naked girls.
Amen.
TITS OR GTFO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
But i wonder if pornstars are really like that, i mean hey i need to get paid for my boob job? Theres lots of documentaries which prove women get paid helluva nicely in the industry. I think i read somewhere that couple of the asian pornactresses (the american asian) have degrees on various things. Someone had a degree in physics and worked at NASA before she noticed porn does pay alot better.
Isnt porn industry whole lot different in teh Japan, cause what i understood that many of the AV actresses like do modeling and normal television stuff also besides the porn? Granted i live in the Nordic region of europe so i cant base my knowledge on anything else except what iveread.
I wonder what kinda money goes on at the whole SG/alt modeling thingy, cause porn industry has generates revenue in the billions.
A lot of porn stars are really smart, and taking advantage of the huge amounts of cash they can get from fucking. The money, for women, is really good in the industry, definitely a smart move than can actually support a pretty lavish lifestyle.
yes kind of my point exactly. Dont remember that one document, a british dude made it where it was obviously showed, that lots of college girls do one porn shoot to get some money to buy useless shit they didnt need.
In the same document film they tried to get google and different porn firm to reveal how much money does google make from advertising. Everyone refused to tell the numbers, but what they decipher from the public stuff they give out its at least a 8 figure sum
“A lot of porn stars are really smart”
I don’t know about that. Most of them seem to have about 5 brain cells. Sure i know there are a couple of them when college degrees, but I know a lot of dumb people with degrees irl. Besides if you were really smart I think you could parley that into a better career than getting loads dumped on your face for a living.
But whats a better career if getting cum dumped on your face pays you easily 200,000 a year? Ill admit it i wouldnt take a load on my face though. But yeah you see those people in porn but also in real life. Which is smarter, hooking up with a different guy every weekend or fucking someone on the camera every weekend and getting paid for it.
But hey at least feminist can enjoy the fact that porn actresses make a shitload of more money in porn than the men.
Haha the tumblrslut example is so spot on.
I KNOW THE WRITER I DO I DO AM I COOL NAO?
But really this is hilarious, the fact that people are getting dem panties in a twist and saying that mia be nerdbaitin is lulzy.
The best thing about how obvious tumblrsluts are is that it makes girls who are shitty more apparent and easily identifiable WHILE ALSO giving me something to fap to. It’s excellent!
I stepped on a holy territory apparently. I posted MS painted boobies = so much emoshunz were stirred. And people say MS paint is useless?
SILLINESS
I guess ms paint is too cool for them. It’s always weird when people “call you out” for doing something you didn’t even know was something you could be called for.
EXACTLY
Bitches bitchin ’bout bitches. What else is new?
THIS!!!!
rep that caitlyn bailey
word.
Ohai bbgurl.
Suicide girls, y u no kill self for real??
Solid post, Kumichou
lol hard @ the unfortunate firecrotch tattoo on the Suicide Girl.
lol hard @ porn stars and Suicide Girls getting butthurt at this post (cartoons on the internet about my life choices are WRONG I must correct OR THE EARTH WILL BE DESTROYED!)
lol hard @ the high potential of guys white-knighting butthurt Suicide Girls over this post.
my friend wanted to be a Suicide Girl and that was just all about getting to say she was one to win c00l p0ints.
cool post.
Shit, I think everybody had a friend who wanted to be a Suicide Girl at some point. Mine was fat, too.
*zinging repartee using sgt d vocab*
oh horny i wana touch some tits