Via the same bro who brought you the butthurt rant about Asking Alexandria comes this incredibly embarrassing “open letter” to The Wonder Years (I bolded the especially lulzy parts):
MY LETTER TO THE WONDER YEARS
Dear Dan, Matt, Josh, Casey, Nick, and Mike:
Thank you. Thank you so much. That’s just the first thing that I want to say to you. Before anything, I just want to let you know how grateful I am for having a band like yours in my life. You’re the only band that I’ve ever gotten so caught up in the hype and excitement that I started crying. It was Warped Tour at the Oceanport, New Jersey date. Dan was telling a story about getting hurt and STILL going to see the band he wanted to see. I think it was Less Than Jake. That was the most inspirational story I’ve ever been told. Just knowing you went out of your way to still go see them gives me hope. Injured, if I may add. Another event that happened at that stop of Warped that changed my life was when you guys played Washington Square Park. I was crowd surfing, and someone was thrown on top of me. The security guards payed absolutely no attention to me, and Dan stopped singing to point out to security that I was in need of help. He basically dropped me on my head over the barrier, and I hit my head on the ground. I never realized how far of a drop it was. I got up, and Dan pointed at me and winked. I cried. Not just because I love you guys, but because you stopped to point me out. And that was AFTER the Less Than Jake story. Maybe it was coincidence, but with a concussion, I found myself back in the crowd screaming the lyrics at the top of my lungs. Luckily, I didn’t get that hurt, but even if I did, you could find me in the crowd. No matter what. All of you have inspired me. Music-wise, and you’ve given me the ability to have a positive attitude about right now. You care about every single one of your fans. Every single one of your songs are perfectly crafted. You can write about anything from ninja girlfriends and zombie invasions to feeling like a loser and missing the town you grew up in. All of your songs can fit a wide, and might I add, diverse range of moods, and you never cease to amaze me. Whether it’s on stage, or on a new album, I feel like everything is going to be okay in the end. And if it’s not okay, it’s not the end. I’ve learned that, because of you. You don’t write about ex-girlfriends, or being dumped. That’s played. I’ve never felt the way I do at one of your shows about anyone or anything else. You’ve pulled me out of a lot of shitty moods. Sometimes, I feel like nothing is worth it. But I know as soon as I turn you guys on, everything is perfect. Thank you. You’ve taught me to keep my head up, and if it’s not okay, I just throw my hoodie up and listen to The Upsides. “I’m Not Sad Anymore.” That’s powerful. It’s not even a lyric to me. It’s a fucking anthem. It’s four words cemented in the back of my mind, and across my heart. I love you dudes. I know you must hear this drivel all of the time, but you mean the universe to me. I can’t thank you enough. And next time you go back home, tell Hank I said hey. He deserves love too.
Taking it a day at a time,
Thanks to commenter Thetotalbro for awaring me to this! Notes:
- WHY DO YOU HATE PARAGRAPHS THIS SHIT IS SO HARD TO READ
- Fucking lol @ male groupies
- That awkward moment when “the most inspirational story you’ve ever been told” involves Less Than Jake
- Who else is shocked that this bro is single??! I figured he would be drowning in pussy– I mean, girls love it when dudes have a Tumblr where they post about crying over pop-punk bands, right???
“I love you dudes. I know you must hear this drivel all of the time, but you mean the universe to me. I can’t thank you enough.”