In every circle of friends, there’s always that one kid with a thin skin who just can’t take a joke. You love him, but it’s so fucking funny to watch him lose his temper and throw a tantrum that you can’t help but mercilessly mock him until he blows his top. The worst part is that once you find out what his sore spots are, you all gang up on him and poke at them until he’s at his breaking point.
I have a feeling that the male Austin Carlile groupie I made fun of last week is that guy, at least if the dozen or so butthurt comments he left are any indication. The longest and lulziest one is below, in which he alternates between variations on the old “DGAF H8RS MAKE ME FAMOUZ” and trying to zing us for stuff he saw on our Tumblrs:
I love the smell of butthurt comments in the morning! It smells like… VICTORY!
Might want to add this to your DVR, brah
tumblr life.
tumblr lyf3.
makes me want to listen to jay z
Well, still doesnt chance anything. Being a huge fan of austin carlille is still gay. Good job once again, seargent.
“BL that it backfired” BL BRAH.
does that mean “bad luck”?
boys love, clearly
I love how he searched your tumblrs for shit to use against you. Because obviously all of you take your tumblrs verrryyy seriously
tumblrz r windows into the souuuul!!
i remember getting butthurt like this when i was a teenager, not realizing that the more words you type = the more you lose. if he couldn’t roll with the punches, a simple “fuck you guys” would’ve been 1000x better.
hope he doesn’t come back and call me a fuck bucket :(
“Digging deeper into my blog? Naw.” – that was his response to me, but he seems to have gone through everyone elses tumblr…smh
ON NOES U FOUND MY SECRET POKEMANS
“I like music, dumb stuff, cute animals…”
“Wait, you reblogged Pokemon? WALKING CONTRADICTION!!!”
Pretty sure Pokemon could be included in dumb stuff and cute animals anyway haha.
irony; he posted this: http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_loynqfO1He1qebs79o1_500.gif
But honestly, do you think older guys that like metal core know its a genre for 15 year old girls?
They live in denial pretending that the little girls don’t ‘get it’ and like the music for the wrong reasons. So sad.
feel sorry for the guys in the bands who have to tactfully get rid of kids like this after shows so they can get down to business and stab dem tumblrslut guts
In all honesty I feel as though metalcore is enjoyable. However deluding oneself into thinking its of significance is simply retarded or sumping like that
“using the word bro before other words? Is that still cool?”
/dying
Lol this guy is super butthurt and a beta faggot. He spent a lot of time on those comments which made him look infintely gayer. A non-pussy would have acknowledged that the mockery was well-played and been able to laugh at himself.
exactly– the perfect response would have been “lololol what can i say, i love OM&M brahs”, and he would come off looking like an awesome kid with a great sense of humor
Bro apparently doesn’t realize that saying, “U GUYZ ARE FAGS I DON”T GIVE A FUCK WAT U THINK!” then proceeding to respond to almost every comment is, in fact, giving a fuck.
“I don’t give a fuck, but if I did here is what I would say to you.”
TOODALOO MOTHERFUCKER
I BID YOU ADIEU, YOU SCUM SLUTS!!!!
can we add this to NOT EVEN MIXED???
TOODALOO MOTHERFUCKER (bassdrop) COVENANT BITCH! (gang vox)
I am actually very impressed.
would print with impact font on black fruits of the loom tshirt any day. xoxo
MAKE THIS REAL!
You win this comment thread
Fuck white people
HE showed up so late the party last time. Hopefully he’ll get a little earlier, so we can be like “sup, bro”.
The worst part about him is his snapback Raiders hat. Al Davis would not want a pussy of this magnitude repping the silver and black.
lolz too true!
wait, pokemon doesn’t fall under the mandate of dumb stuff and cute animals??
My first thought too, said the same thing in a response earlier before I saw this haha
GOD-DAMN, Klaiden you oughtta hit the eject-button while you still can, son. Don’t you know the Internet is for PORN, fencing stolen goods, AND MAKING FUN OF PEOPLE, period. Consider this a character-building learning experience.
“fencing stolen goods”
what is this, The Elder Scrolls or something?
E.g. a MacBook Pro for $400. on Craigslist, b/c the seller “forgot his password”
The guy would have embarrassed himself less if he had just not replied.
Two best parts for me: 1) The fact that he started his comment war so far after everyone stopped giving a shit about that post that no one responded, making him look like the victor for “getting the last word.”
2) ANYTIME someone makes a “You seem like” argument on the internet is fucking hilarious. Always. Almost literally no better way to say “I am butthurt, and want to lash out at you in a meaningless way via a meaningless medium so I will say mean things that may or may not be true based on inferences that don’t make sense.”
I say “you seem like I want to fuck you” to my gf. I think it’s probably the best thing to say. So, you know, point disproven.
You’re ignoring some of the constraints in my original statement.
You know I don’t like the way you imply that I have to “read things” or “make sense”.
Best comment ever. I literally loled.
+1
BRB deleting my Tumblr and removing myself from the internet to escape the shame caused by his lacerating insults.
I archived them all. You can’t run for office.
im siding with the other dude FUCK YOU GUYSSS TOODALOOO
lol jk im hetero
lol’d, gold star.
cool story bro
Fuckin’ epic lulz at “todaloo mother fuckers.” Jesus, you can’t imitate stuff like this!
Sounds like he saw The Hangover. Go him!
Just sent him
“Awesome blog. Great content. Look entertaining. Educational. Organized. Keep us all posted on your continued progress with any new metalcore pics or vid clips. Show us what you got man. Wanna see how freakn’ educational, entertaining, informative and awesome your blog can get. Thanks for the motivation. “
That’s so fucking cruel. Love it!
It’s kind of fucked up that he’s trashing all his new followers. He doesn’t understand that it’s obvz he’s going to blow up and we just want to be the tumblrbros to his Austin Carlisle. U no. Watchin. Waitin. Yearning 4 recognition and/or validation from another grown man/stranger. Posting gifs of him smiling with super motivating/educational/entertaining/informative captions. U no. Being a REAL fan.
Also it says “Future Sailor”… I gotta know his rate. Imagining him as an HT rubbing a picture of himself with long hair for good luck as he plumbs another pipe full of shit. Blowing all his paycheck at port call… but catching herpes. Crying alone for hours.
I was into sailing before he even knew what sailing was.
J/K. I started sailing when i got access to a sail boat. That was like 5 year ago.
Future sailo?
He might mean this..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAbkh4TMRqg
It’s doubtful though
Wish I had left a ‘comment’… could have gotten a bio written by that kid…
He mentioned “all 39″. Even though most of us weren’t mentioned, but he called us out as a whole.
haha feels good man
pokemon rules. dude’s a huge nfc faggot.
So I had never actually looked at the tumblr before…. it is exactly a girl’s tumblr… I don’t even know what to say. My gf’s tumblr is literally 100x more masculine than this and she just blogs about corgis and food.
this is really funny.
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Too late to edit this into the post? Might want to save it for later.
http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/k2radio.com/files/2011/11/Hurt-Feelings-Report.jpg
haha, that is awesome.
I was going to make a johnson&johnson no more tears shampoo, but well….
Inb4 his tumblr followers also join and start whiteknighting.
I feel as though this may have gone over my head. That Kaiden guy is just a joke right? I mean, it’s just someone who made a silly looking fake profile pretending to be a weird fanboy…right? There’s no way a dude would really be serious about this.
Er…not tryin to ruin the fun, but I am srsly confused about this; I fear my sarcasm detector is malfunctioning and I allowed myself to get trolled.
I’m thinking it might have to be a troll? Dude reblogs pictures of cupcakes/assorted treats, kuet scene guys/girls, a picture of shirts at hot topic (no srsly), ashton kutcher gifs, small animals, “meaningful” sketches/art of tattoos, black and white fashion photoz, jenna marbles, a castle, qewt shoez, meaningful empty birdcage, a bar 100% comprised of flavored vodkas, tequila, and liqueur, people kissing in the rain, old people kissing, cats, picture of pizza in a fisheye lens, a dude with tattoos playing a acoustic guitar with a capo, indie chick/faux native american hair… I just… I don’t know what to believe anymore. This tumblr is better than any joke I could ever come up with to call someone a closet homosexual or a massive pussy. I thought he was just a fanboy, but this is deep psychosis. He literally thinks it’s ok for straight men to act like tumblrsluts.
the french language, bacon, a lighthouse… like fuck where am I?
ofwgkta, cookies, doughnuts, a picture about girls thoughts on their periods, man overboard & wonder years merch, spice girls, tons of emotional/meaning band lyric gifs, pics of vans, pics of toms, sailor moon, a hello kitty pumpkin, different ways to draw/tattoo ribbons… I seriously don’t even how. If this is ACTUALLY a straight male my mind will be blown.
Keep going, this is interesting.
No, to elaborate for a troll. I think he’s a legit fggt
I’m still amazed by the fact that he thinks nobody else can enjoy the band the same way he can because he knew about it first. Also, the fact that he was a “fan” before any music had even been recorded is incredible.
Srs bummed he didn’t find the Easter eggs I hacked into my Koi fish… poor research skills!!
This groupie is both mouse and man
MAN I DON’T EVEN GIVE A FUCK
*furiously types out short essay defending his internet cred*
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltvgdgNe7r1qbfxl1.jpg
his wall… he’s a 17 year old girl irl too. mirin that hueg parkway poster of all their kuet facez~~
http://27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsu7nizqSS1qc5uu7o1_500.jpg <3 ~
http://i226.photobucket.com/albums/dd153/Steffykin/tumblr_lgiu8zfXMf1qf66cco1_500.jpg
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lsl86kngOO1qc5uu7o1_500.png
Woah…
Shit just got serious…
O_o
Ps if he would have just said “actually yes im gay and i have a huge celeb crush on austin” i would totally get it and this wouldnt really even be funny.
Wow. You’ve really done your research, Brah.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu687c8Ctm1qiaqpmo1_500.png
I just couldn’t stop scrolling. Confirmed virgin? Confirmed virgin.
No idea who Austin is, as I have never heard his band. He seems like a great dude from that answer though.
he’s the screamer from Attack Attack! who was responsible of bringing Crabcore to the masses with the debut video “Stick Stickly”
Oh hoho.
Ohohoho.
Jesus fucking christ. #rapealert
Jesus Analfisting Christ!
I don’t even…what the fuck? The Lights picture was pretty weird but this?
haha,what the actual fuck?
If i was austin carlile i would be creeped the fuck out by this kid
the dude is somekind of mediocre metalcore leadsinger stalker.
If things don’t work out with him and austin,he can always stalk some other poor dude
+that is maybe one of the most awkward questions you could ask someone. He really needs to get his shit together.
Only way to cease the beef is to go ahead and let him write for the blog?
I would love to see an article written by him about relevant/meaningful high school experiences/2011 metalcore appreciation.
Meaningful high school experience = making eye contact with a girl, not getting invited to parties
he has a band….
http://www.facebook.com/sailawayband
And he is Australian :(
The greatest Australian since Pauline Hanson.
I’m moving back to Europe. At least they manage to fall into their own respective genders when they’re attempting to imitate dodgy ‘merican subcultures :(
onoes, Ostrayan? shame on we for raising our kids too soft these days. bring back a good old Aussie belting and hitting the brakes to make your kid stfu (on account it is standing on the seat holding the dashboard, that is Aus carseat, 70s-style).
Yeah I didn’t listen to his band or anything but he is confirmed for loving sailboats and being an aussie.
his band logo = http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=276591525688327&set=a.276591522354994.88862.276588055688674&type=3&theater
austin carlile merch = http://new.merchnow.com/products/119584
:(
He wants to be his idol. Every night he faps to Austin’s poster
I wonder if they rip off his music as poorly as they rip off his merch. Merch for a project that really existed as well.
Tumblr is to blame for the 75% increase in faggotry on the internet
honestly she kind of handed your ass to you
ho hum, sore bum. you for the win, Sarge !