Lindsay Lohan in leggings and Uggs = NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A BONER
One of the most common questions I get is how to know if a girl is wifeable if you just met her. It’s tough: there are lots of Trojan horses who seem stable and cool at first, only to lose their shit and take a detour into crazytown as soon as they have you on the hook. Knowing how many undercover crazy bishes are out there, how are you supposed to know if you’re chatting up a wifeable girl if you’re a bro who is looking for more than a nail-n-bail??
There are exceptions to every rule, but my approach is simple: ask them if they like Uggs. I’ve found this is a highly polarizing subject among bishes [via females being catty, judgmental and being obsessed with comparing themselves to other females]. From what I can tell, Uggs seem to be the ultimate representation of hot mainstream girls, and therefore super threatening to indie/hipster girls. Nothing is 100% accurate, but here’s how I gauge their responses:
- “OMG yes I love them so much!! When it gets cold they’re practically all I wear!” = Propose on the spot, this girl is probably super chill and easy to be around
- “Haha I used to wear them all the time in high school” = Full steam ahead, she is probably cool and normal [via not being weird in high school]. Just make sure she isn’t going through some kind of annoying phase where she is experimenting with being indie or whatever
- “Ummm that’s not really my style” = Proceed with caution. She may be cool and just not into Uggs, or she could be thinly masking her true identity as an uptight indie snob
- “Ugh, I fucking hate those things blah blah fake plastic bitches I’m a special snowflake” = Run away screaming, you’re talking to certified indie/hipster trash
Is there anything hotter than leggings and Uggs?? Why do indie girls hate them so much? Will it ever stop being hilarious to use girls’ inherent cattiness against them??? Does your girl wear Uggs???
ugh.
lolololol
sarges most offensive/wrong post aside from bumfights.
can’t win em all
idk, I don’t really find workboots plus fuzz and minus strings that attractive…
i think uggs and leggings are hot, but only in a smashable kinda way, probably cause i associate them with boring rich girls. i grew up in miami and all the rich hos would break out the uggs once it dipped below 70, fucking ridiculous.
Leggings/jeggings + Boots of any kind = Awesome
Sweatpants + Boots of any kind = Dragonball Z
^ i lol’d. the sweatpants/uggs combo was repped pretty hard at my college
Its usually more generic boots/sweatpants at my college. No complaints really.
I associate Uggs with the stuck-up rich bishes in ‘San Francisco… who are arguably more annoying than the indie/hipster trash that litters the City.
That said, aesthetically, I’ve learned to appreciate these Eskihos in their Uggs/Tights.
oh man, i didn’t think that anything was more annoying than san francisco hipster trash
even the most insufferable rich asshole isn’t even a fraction as annoying than bay area hipsters (oakland variety being the worst)
^^^^^^BACKED i H8 OAKLAND HIPSTERS THE WURSTTT idk why tho
Maybe because they won’t admit they’re hipsters.
It’s hard to believe, I know, but spend enough time in the Marina and you might start to understand.
Marina girls are hot though, if you like that used up, desperate sorority girl look.
You forgot the most difficult part, step 1. Finding a parking space.
i enjoy fun, so i avoid northern california. brb going to a beach where i dont have to wear a wetsuit to avoid getting hypothermia
i have to live in alameda :( the town of aging oakland hipster trash
So… Tom Brady = wifeable?
+1
technically speaking, yes
Unless you hate money, hell yes.
So glad the leggings as pants things became acceptable at my prime.
Literally the best thing in human development since the printing press
Agreed 100%
For anyone that isn’t late teens early 20s in this day and age. Feelsbadman
What if you’re in your 30′s, but only date girls in their late teens/early 20′s?
Then you are who I want to be 10 years.
I think UGGS look comfy, but I’m ultimately not into them because I think they make my feet look huge. I think this is a valid concern.
OH NO POSSIBLE HIPSTER EVERYWUN RUNNNNZ
fair enough– i’d put that response in category #2, nothing to be alarmed about
Dude no! These boots are disgusting, shapeless and boring. Massive turnoff..its like a girl climbing into bed wearing some fleecey pjs. NOT SEXY!
Leggings however yes.. They are nice.
I’m kinda with you. I look at this post and it makes me glad that most girls around here put more of an effort into looking good and don’t put big blobby things on their feet.
sharp_elbows.jpg
Another solid post, bro. Nothing better than your girl bringin you In N Out while wearing uggs and hoop earings.
+1 on hoop earrings.
BROFIST!
Is this feeling normal? A post by serg I disagree with? I think I need to spend some time alone and rethink my life…
we can agree to disagree! what can i say, i love mnstrm ladies
Ive seen hipster bishes and normal girls wearing them. Along with wifeables and smashables. Very sexy none the less.
What about the lunchables??
Lulz. i now grant you an internet. i get the distinct impression that i enjoyd that joke more than everyone else, though
As said above, these make me think of super dumb sorority girls whose guts should be stabbed, not wifed. Besides, why would you wanna marry a snobby broad that you know has expensive taste? You’ll be stuck buying her expensive shit for the rest of your life or you won’t be getting any blow jobs.
With that said, those fucking leggings make any ass look perfectly round and smashable. No wife, just fuck.
This.
Where I’m at (Pacific NW) the popularity of UGGs, esp. among college bishes who walk everywhere, is just laughable given how much it rains all fall/winter/spring and how far from sensible raingear they are. I like dumb girls just fine, but this is borderline retarded and therefore only smashable. Leggings + running shoes (which allow for some calf action too) = far more win.
where are you in the NW?? i am originally from the Everett area and have lived a few places in WA…
Eugene, OR for now. Sux sometimes b/c of no shows and scene and shit w/o drive to PDX (plus rain, did you know it rains alot?), but access to mtns and shit (yeah, outdoorsyfag here) plus cheap cost of living is pretty win since I got a cushy job. Spent some time in Seattle too, but just month here or there with working, so never got a good feel of the place.
When I lived in Syracuse, the Uggs/leggings combo was standard attire with the girls at SU. I miss that shit. I also think it’s funny how so many girls are like “OMG! Leggings are not pants!” We’ll just have to agree to disagree on that one, ma’am.
Sup D, being a southern bro I have to say it’s a different world. This shit is a uniform for 5s trying to get laid in December, worse even they will start in in fall/spring and wear them with shorts (ew forever! Too poor/unfashionable to buy qewt shoez/sex pumps?). I was at Subway via not being fat a few mins ago and in walk three seperate groups of fives. I love the radio, I love high school, I work at toys r us, one of us has herpes, I make twelve grand a year and own a juicy bag I think is super cool, I have blonde chunks in my hair, I non-ironically wanted to see Epic Movie, straight fucking fives all in black, fuzzy sweaters, pea coats, tights, tights w/ a skirt, all in uggs. It’s 80 out D. These are wilderbeasts covering every inch of their hideous body in an attempt to trick poor bros like u.
5 years ago it was a different story, but now the sororisluts have abandoned them and it’s just fives who work at the mall and own anberlin records and shirts with glitter wings on them.
If you’re gonna tag a bitch in uggs make sure you are north enough to be safe. ( I.e. uggs in phx is not ever ok it’s like never below 50 there) Also they get a pass if they’re asian because asians in uggs are usually chill water balloons.
“Also they get a pass if they’re asian because asians in uggs are usually chill water balloons.”
brofist!
“fives who work at the mall and own anberlin records and shirts with glitter wings on them”
where do you live, heaven?? so into this (srs)
Dallas. Come for the cubicle jobs, stay for the 5s who shop at walmart?
dude that sounds like heaven to me, not even kidding. a LOT have people have told me i would love Dallas (srs)!
nigga you crazy
as a white person who grew up poor as fuck, my dream is to live the rest of my life as a boring, comfortably middle class white person (srs)
Bro you would probably love Dallas. Only downside is that you have to try really hard to find a decent place to see hardcore shows. All the poorer suburbs are way better for hxc shows because everyone in Dallas is busy clubbing/fucking.
no care, all I want to do is stay home, watch TV with my kids and go to Panera on Sunday morning (srs)
The downside is that driving to Panera will take you 50 minutes each way. DFW is huuuuuuge.
there is no room for words here now
move to a decently affluent neighborhood and there’s a Panera every like 3 blocks.
THIS
I live in the DFW area and yeah, it’s easy to have the wrong idea about the area if you haven’t been, it’s pretty middle-of-the-road in every way, a Skittles rainbow of OTW people, lots of churches but general political climate is relaxed
Fun faxx: Arlen, TX on King Of The Hill is based directly on Richardson, which is a suburb of Dallas (I lived there briefly as a kid and yeah lotsa Asians)
Arlen is literally a combination of Garland and Allen. Also DFW is the third largest metro area in the US. Frisco/plano is rich white OC refugees, cedar hill, oak cliff, redbird is a hispanic/black ghetto for real, irving is massive office parks and people who live like it’s 1998, park cities is millionaires, farmer’s branch is racists, addison is 30 something creeps, offices, and the most bars/restaurants in the city, denton is a little mini-austin full of sororisluts and hipsters….. So your impression will be very different depening on where you are.
Holy shit. I laughed, but now I have to seriously consider this place as a retirement option.
i assume you are talking about Farmer’s Branch?
The city of Farmers Branch entered the national spotlight when it became the first city in Texas to pass anti-illegal immigration measures, which include fining landlords that rent to illegal aliens, and allowing local authorities to screen illegal aliens in police custody. The measures also included a provision making English the official language of the city.
i live in Irving, and i’ve never seen it summed up so fucking perfectly. i’ll have you know i remembered your description and recite it any time someone mentions the city. god irving sucks, we suck
Don’t know if it is an East Coast thing but most girls who wear UGGs around here are fucking annoying JAPs who, at best, are smashable when drunk.
Although your question pretty much a spot-on thing for seeing if a chick is crazy. Like my ex: “Yeah, I fucking hate girls who wear those. They look so fucking stupid” yet she goes and buys black ankle high generic ones that come with fur-lining and POM-POMs.
Too bad I didn’t bail in time =[
yeah, it’s really more about seeing if they have an excessively strong, negative reaction than anything else– since excessively strong opinions are a leading indicator of annoying hipster trash and crazy people
I have excessively strong opinions against ultimate hipsters, what does that make me?
sane
I havent ever thought about the coorelation between ugs and wifeability. I never really took notice. I figured that they were just something else that girls wear. The leggings I do love though.
But what do I do if I’m a hipster?
suicide yourself
I work at a university and uggs are everywhere. uggs, black tights, northface fleece.
I don’t care about them, but I can’t stand when the girls drag their feet when they wear them. I guess they are buying them too big. I dont know, but pick up your damn feet.
“uggs, black tights, northface fleece. ”
MY GOD THIS DRIPPING BONER
^gross image. pls wipe keyboard
There’s a joke at SU that when it gets cold out, the SUN outfit comes out: spandex, uggs, northface. It is the most accurate north east assumption you can make and has been since the 7th grade. Girls try to wear them into the spring as well, the shorts and uggs combo….VOMIT.
I have a pair that I got my freshman year of high school and I wear them around as house slippers. The way they drag is SO FUCKING ACCURATE! The problem is, I love warm boots, but I hate looking like a fucking dirty sheep rug curled up and died around my ankles. Thoughts on dem ladies who wear knock-off versions, like LL Bean shearling boots that are basically the same thing [but have lasted me several years of hardcore use]?
uggs with anything other than leggings/jeggings = FAIL, especially shorts or skirts, so grose.
Yeah, I saw a bunch of girls wearing ugg and short skirts this week. I don’t get it.
It’s because you forgot that girls are fucking stupid.
College ass pants is a must…making the freshmen 15 look good since 2000
Are you really trying to imply the average mainstream girl is wifeable? Is this real life? You ‘dun goofed, enjoy your getting cheated on goals for 2011.
Every single scene/hipster/indie/non-mainstream girl I’ve ever dated cheated on me.
Date one normal girl and now we’re married with kids and she would never even think of cheating.
can’t back you on this one. pretty much the worst fashion trend of the decade aside from crocs. also being a teacher i notice that girls who are dolled up to the max every day at 9 am suspeciously show up a couple days at the end of the month rocking uggs, sweatpants etc, so she i see them i just assume a chick is on her period. that and my mom wore them.
yeah, they really are the female equivalent of crocs. a very polarizing shoe and hipster repellent.
imagine a girl with indie bangs, frumpy old lady dress AND uggs with orange spray tan!
Woah, why don’t you just ask us to imagine a square circle?
would make a sick halloween costume
BONER ALERT
I feel that Uggs are like anything else, if done the right way they work, if not they look goofy. That being said the part about strong opinions is dead on. Although “live and let live” is a concept that escapes most girls regardless of what type of girl they are.
I like the look, but a bish that wears uggs where I live is a very dumb bish indeed brah. Seriously, puerto rico is like 100+ degrees all year round even during winter. dont get me wrong, like i said, I like the look, and when i see a hot girl wearing them i want to STAB DEM GUTS…but something tells me they arent to bright….
can prolly hide crazy knives in them tho. when the shit goes down at the reggaeton show i want my bish to be in a position to throw down, nahwatimsayin?
Personally not really feeling Uggs, but I’d never let them stop me from anything.
Leggings are the best though, now that the temperature has dropped (I live in NY) you see them everywhere.
I seriously can not understand the “Leggings are not pants!” people.
“the “Leggings are not pants!” people”
fat/insecure girls and guys trying to white knight them (srs)
Essentially.
http://www.leggingsarenotpants.com
LOL WUT?
Whoa. There’s really a site for it? Some people are really dedicated on being lame.
see also http://www.girlsinyogapants.com/ !
Hahaha! Goddammit man.
I think this same argument applies to Flip Flops in the summer.
Whatever happened to good ol’ Fuck Me boots :(
they are alive n well in minority clubs in urban areas =D
Nothing sexier than this look, I cant understand why more females dont rock it where I live.
Ive been wearing these around the house in winter since I was a kid, wouldnt be caught with them on outside though.
This is definitely a huge gaping cultural difference as uggs are white trash (bogans in the the local lingo) in Australia. Something to wear if you’re 16, pregnant and waiting for your unemployment to come through so you can go buy cigarettes. Meanwhile your 4 month old son Jayden doesn’t even have shoes.
i told this aussie girl at work that there were a lot of hot bogans and she looked at me like i had lobsters coming out of my ears
Dude, in New Zealand we have the exact same shit. You could never describe bogans as hot though- almost unanimously overweight, terrible skin, greasy dyed hair, eyebrow/tounge/labret pericings and cheap knockoff metallica and guns n roses hoodies from the chinese knockoff store.
haha brilliant. Fuck, if I can think of more slang to punish her with I’ll keep you updated.
i called her an abo, she thought it was hilarious
Hahaha. Epic lulz.
If you are Australian and haven’t watched Housos yet you are not really Australian.
http://www.sbs.com.au/ondemand/program/124/Housos
And yeah, this whole article reads like bullshit because that style is the grossest over here. The current weather is making all the girls wear shorts and yoga pants and my god is it hard working in a shopping center atm so much ass
lololol I’m going to use “Trojan horses” from now on. Describes some of my experiences way to accurately :/
Balls. *too
Dragon Ball Z, Frieza saga. Bulma wears ‘em
Any form of boots and leggings as pants = insta-boner.
THIS
Are scene girls wifeable??
possibly, but only after they grow out of being scene. until then only good for stabbing the guts :(
leggings ARE pants, and i love that. who wants to wear jeans when you know you can put comfortable cotton AND have the satisfaction to know that ever corner you go around, you are turning heads. as for uggs, only acceptable in the cold. i live in southern california and it drives me insane when all the damn girls wear them in summer
not a fan of Uggs. all kinds of girls in highschool wore them and they look they were going into combat or something…They’re so huge and clunky. Leggings, on the other hand, are the absolute tits.
You people are fucking idiots if you are a guy and you are allowing yourself to fall into the trap of these female games.
There are no female games, you tell them what you want and they react to it, if you allow yourself to think about “Friend zones” etc, you are already toast.
You guys are taking advice from a guy who’s asian GF is probably fucking him up the ass with a dildo every night.
u mad bro?
haha! is that what azns do? my little bro was engaged to a fillipino…. poor guy
“You guys are taking advice from a guy who’s asian GF is probably fucking him up the ass with a dildo every night.”
would still respect him.
It’s not gay if a woman does it, ding dong.
Feels good, man
you gotta graduate from the stinky left pinky phaze doe ;-P
My girl wears uggs and leggings.
And YES, she is totally chill and awesome, and I am planning to wife her eventually.
She is also reasonably sceney, enough to satisfy my scene girl fetish, but not so much that it looks retarded.
AND she is a water balloon.
I’m not a fan of uggs myself, but dgaf if anyone wears them.
Leggings like in the last picture tho, HNNNGGG<3
watch out for trying to wife waterballons because that skin will droop after a few years and you need to make sure they discover the fucking gym.
Here in Australia, generally only bogans (RE: white trash) wear Uggs outside, and they are neither wifeable, nor smashable.
Fuck, should’ve read the comments befoar posting.
My wife was the first girl I was with that had a normal (UGGS, girlie stuff, taking time to get dolled up) fashion sense. THE 1st indication that I should marry her. Second being she’s an OTW.
Youre doing it right (srs)
A little late to the party on this one but short shorts+low-top Converse>Uggs and leggins. Every time, no exceptions.
The whole “x > y” thing is seriously one of the most enraging things ever to me haha
Yeah and on second thought (thinks of that time that one chick was rocking Uggs with leggings) maybe I loved that combo more than I realized. And the girl wearing said combo also happened to be wifeable as fuck too so yeah, once again you’re right lol.
What about vans+leggings? groce?
Winning combo; would smash
This must be regional bc I work and spend a lot of time in Orange County where the women Ugg runs rapid. I couldn’t say I ever saw a lady in Uggs who wasn’t high maintenance and apparently lazy. I mean she already paid for her boobs so does she really need to put on an actual pair of shoes to leave the house? This post is basically like encouraging women to be fat, frumpy and lazy sloths (bc that’s who rolls out in Uggs where I am – it’s not even cold enough here to justify wearing them out of the house).
It’s the equivalent of seeing a man in sweat pants which is also disgusting. No one wants to see the contours of your dick in the most unflattering way ever you lazy fuck, put that away and put on some pants if you leave the house.
really??
I always figured closet furries wore those
not hatin’ on the leggings lovers (even tho you wrong), but imao too many pudgy, lumpy and/or just plain groce grrls wear them and i don’t want to see what they have had for lunch. or what feral yuckness they keep up their clacker. that said, i am serially guilty of making awesomely rude and hizarious remarks of disparagement to said girls in the name of being “honest with yourself, you’re not as good/pretty as you act like you are.”
on uggs, if they are all gone over on the instep and the sole sticks out the side of your foot when you walk, you are all sorts of retarded. if they hug your shapely leg and are long and black, you is dope. #JustMyFucknAwesomeOpinion
You guys are smoking too much meth. Theres a girl I used to hang out with all the time last year (college, of course) and she is by far the hottest girl i’ve ever known. One of her common get-ups was a tight shirt/sweater, a short skirt, and uggs and I am 99.9% sure she saw the boner I was trying to conceal on multiple occasions. Not all of them are bishes, bro.
FINALLY dudes that dig leggings and uggs. As a chick, my boyfriend’s ol joke really gets on my nerves: “You know why they’re called uggs, right? ‘Cause they’re UGGLY”
but they’re comfy as hell XD
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Whats wrong with them?? They’re not uncomfortable and dont give you blisters (nasty btw.) and go with pretty much anything..
They go with pretty much anything (thats pants- no skirts, dresses etc that dont have leggings….even then ehhhh.) so you dont have to go spend $400 in boots that will be out of style next season, if they hold up that long!
in summary, theyre cute i like them i like this post.
Ps. die indie girls.
Ps. die indie girls.
hi i love you