Lindsay Lohan in leggings and Uggs = NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A BONER
One of the most common questions I get is how to know if a girl is wifeable if you just met her. It’s tough: there are lots of Trojan horses who seem stable and cool at first, only to lose their shit and take a detour into crazytown as soon as they have you on the hook. Knowing how many undercover crazy bishes are out there, how are you supposed to know if you’re chatting up a wifeable girl if you’re a bro who is looking for more than a nail-n-bail??
There are exceptions to every rule, but my approach is simple: ask them if they like Uggs. I’ve found this is a highly polarizing subject among bishes [via females being catty, judgmental and being obsessed with comparing themselves to other females]. From what I can tell, Uggs seem to be the ultimate representation of hot mainstream girls, and therefore super threatening to indie/hipster girls. Nothing is 100% accurate, but here’s how I gauge their responses:
- “OMG yes I love them so much!! When it gets cold they’re practically all I wear!” = Propose on the spot, this girl is probably super chill and easy to be around
- “Haha I used to wear them all the time in high school” = Full steam ahead, she is probably cool and normal [via not being weird in high school]. Just make sure she isn’t going through some kind of annoying phase where she is experimenting with being indie or whatever
- “Ummm that’s not really my style” = Proceed with caution. She may be cool and just not into Uggs, or she could be thinly masking her true identity as an uptight indie snob
- “Ugh, I fucking hate those things blah blah fake plastic bitches I’m a special snowflake” = Run away screaming, you’re talking to certified indie/hipster trash
Is there anything hotter than leggings and Uggs?? Why do indie girls hate them so much? Will it ever stop being hilarious to use girls’ inherent cattiness against them??? Does your girl wear Uggs???