With summer concert season drawing to a close, we feel like it’s a great time to announce the latest addition to Stuff You Will Hate’s very own package tour, THE AMATOUR. Featuring Destroy The Ghost, Endworld, See My Fatal Trace and Take The Ark, we think the “bands who play 2005-style metalcore and have a video filmed in whatever location their parents will drive them to” scene is about to explode.
We are thrilled to introduce A DINNER WITH CAPTAIN MURDERER as the openers for this tour, as well as offer the exclusive premiere of their new video “The Operator.” From their Youtube description:
Metro West Films is proudly to present A Dinner With Captain Murderer’s new music video called ‘The Operator’! It follows the story of a babysitter who is stalked by the most mysterious killer in history, Slender man! Follow her story as she tries to escape the horror, and terror of this brutal children killer.
Our notes:
- Mirin how this is both a grassy field video AND a forest video
- LOL @ this video being a “Metro West Films” production- as you can see from their other “films” like “baby cursing” they are obviously a pretty big deal!
- Kinda bummed at their non-verb the noun name. A Dinner With Captain Murderer sounds like they should be either Eastern Euro pornogrind or maybe a jam band.
- MY GOD THIS VOCAL REVERB. Also lol @ how everything is so compressed that when the kick drum hits, the guitars drop out.
- Maybe the drummer saw everybody mocking the drummers in those other bands for hitting so light, because at 2:25 he’s flailing like a madman (out of sync with the music, no less)
- The incredibly out of sync, half-hearted jogging-in-place at 1:25
- The bish = WOOD SMASH. I have a big thing for slightly chubby girls (aka “water balloons“) with a 7.5 face in leggings and Uggs, so this video is pretty much a boner factory for me. <3 U REBECCA, holler at your boy!
- Someone make a GIF loop of :46-:54! DEM TITTIES, THEY BOUNCIN
- At 1:06 where they invent “metalcore Home Alone face”
- Singer’s mosh moves at 3:14, just sort of awkwardly holds his hands out in a semi-invisible oranges pose and headbangs. Looks like he’s trying not to fall over or something.
- The SHOCKING REVEAL at 3:50 where the bad guy pins a bunch of really shitty drawings up in her room and she is terrified
That awkward moment when you are butthurt because your video didn’t tickle anyone’s fancy
I was hoping for a rippin’ guitar solo a la old A7X or All That Remains @3:28-3:45 =(
And jeez, Slender Man? in b4 kids write songs about Tebowing.
I’m just here to say that those were some awesome titties.
When did having rhythm go out of style?
What’s this about making fun of metal drummers that barely touch their drums? Sounds like something I’d be interested in reading/watching/laughing at.
check out all the videos i mentioned above– they are all barely tapping their drums in the least enthusiastic manner imaginable
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlGZ43bA7mg
Are parking decks going to be the new grassy field? I feel like I’ve seen a lot of them lately…
These days everyone has HD cameras but nobody has lighting rigs to make decent-looking videos indoors, so, yeah, we’ll be seeing plenty more of those and any other empty public outdoor spaces. If you can get your dad who works there to sneak you in on a weekend, we’ll also be seeing construction sites and loading docks outside of warehouses.
If you’re clever, though, you can make some simple single-color backdrops, set them in a grassy field, and pretend you’re shooting your video indoors: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqU-U1pvoSo
Thank you.
I don’t understand why everyone is ready to drop 2k-3k on camera and a couple crappy lenses, but they won’t invest in fucking lighting equipment. It doesn’t matter how shallow your DoF is if it looks like fucking garbage.
Also, not a film if it is not shot on film. film jerk out.
But if you blow all your budget on lighting equipment then the only props you’ll be able to afford for your big video will be some bicycle tires, a large clay vase, and a very bored dude chained to a window grate. That doesn’t work too well either: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oHEWV22mLE
iphone 4 + get some sluts you know to do slutty stuff = megahit video on $0
These kids just invented “time-capsule-core”. In 6 years they’ll be churning out fake party-mosh jams, rocking sleeveless vest/tight pants/vans/flipped-up bill steez & huffing Jenkum, whilst WE’RE all in our silver-foil jetpack-suits on planet Krayshawn.
Sgt. D take note: no line of propriety was crossed in reference to the singers appendages, or lack thereof.
in b4 the neo-crabcore revival of 2022
Wait, huffing jenkem is considered part of modern metalcore? Where was I when this occurred and why was I not invited?
But TITTAY’S make anything relevant, always.
Did some comment reading and found this.
http://www.youtube.com/user/Smile4Cory#p/u/1/Iv3VHH_nsBA
It’s Rachel’s channel for those who loved her excellent acting in the vid. Turns out she has some knee slappers of her own. I am sure from here you can send her a message and get her tumblr.
GOD BLESS YOU
“Big Butts” video very disappointing doe.
Smell good
Water balloons ftw
Also lol @ Slender man based story, what’s their next movie gonna be about? BLOODY MARY??
pretty upset those gang vox at 1:51 are indecipherable, I feel like i’m missing out on so much and it’s thus greatly affected my ability to let this video tickle my fancy
hahaha THIS. what the hell did they try to accomplish with that? it sounds like they’re saying 5 different mosh catchphrases at once. i’m pretty sure i heard a COVENANT BITCH in there too.
I’m pretty sure the main reason this video was made is to show off the girl’s “talents”. She is pretty talented too!
The singer’s moves @3:10 are the metalcore equivalent of Elaine’s dancing on “Seinfeld”.
Oh gawd. I’m a fairly well-thought-of Slender Man writer, and this…this is painful.
Gotta love the deep v-necks.
After I read they part about the guitars dropping out with the bass drum I could not help but just listen to that. The part where the Slender Man’s symbol lit on fire was actually well done, it reminds me of the Satyricon video “Mother North.”
yeah i had to begrudgingly admit that part of the video was sort of decent
It should be illegal to have a music video where the singer doesn’t have the mic. Every time it looks so idiotic. Are they trying to get taken seriously? They got the matching clothes down, guess they need to work on the moving rhythmically. Bet they have a synth player in two years.
Yeah, If you’re gonna show guitarists with guitars, show the singer with a mic. Or don’t have any guitars in the video.
One or the other. Don’t confuse us.
1:15 – Behind the really sincere stares into the camera there is the drummer just staring into the camera like “should I play now”. Why am I laughing so hard this is amazing
I’m glad they did so much explaining. the fact that it was book ended also made it really artsy.
This is just what Circle of Contempt sounded like in 2005.
boobs
lol, can’t lie, kinda enjoyed the song. i’m feelin that girl’s ditzy, nasal voice, too.
Couldn’t make it past Rebecca.
Holy shit, high school kids are just finding out what Slender Man is and they’re obsessed with it and just beating it to death. Shit was old a long time ago.
LOL the Destroy The Ghost documentary video has been removed because of a copyright by Sumerian Records.
Yeah they were using Stick To Your Guns songs in the documentary and posing as if they wrote them. Not cool.
I could watch her run all day!
Dem titties. She can tickle my fancy any time she wants.
i’d like to tickle her fancy… and by tickle her fancy, i mean capture her farts in Tupperware, take them back to my house, watch this video while fapping and release them at the exact moment when she sees the shitty drawings posted in her room, which is the exact moment i will climax.
i assume that’s what you meant too?
Dat booty smell good doe
I saw these guys open for Hate Eternal and Origin earlier this year in Orlando. So many folded arms, in addition to clusters of little scene prostitots. Just gross
did u tickle any scene girls fancies??
It pretty much became an evening of avoiding slimy cockfiends
Oh shit, they’re from Orlando?? I live like three hours south from there and go up there all the time. I know what I’m doing next time I’m up there
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n42ACA8Y8ug
check out this live video of them, so many lulzy things going on – instruments out of tune, a projected image of their stupid symbol behind them, kinds just sitting down in the front, dat dancing at the beginning, useless keyboardist banging her(???) head wildly @ 1 min, and the best part of all, what the fuck even happens at 2:42??? is that a mistake? also pretty sure you can hear someone “boo”ing at the very end
it’s always funny when bands have live videos of shows where there’s literally only five people there
so much lol material – thx, fancy has now been fully tickled.
also in comments – “hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha funny my band ABYSS is way better” “Hahahahahahahahaha thats cool no one gives a shit” – They sure told him, but somehow I doubt the biggest metalcore feud since Avenged Sevenfold vs. Atreyu isn’t over, ABYSS won’t take this lying down
that boo at the end is hilarious. thanks for sharing!
i’m luvvin the open string chuggin part at 3:20 where we see the guitarist clearly playing meaningful chorus chords.
Lol, my band played a show with these guys a few weeks back. They’re from Orlando. You cant really expect much from a local band though
Massive laughs at not having any amps or instrument cables. But I guess its hard to find an outlet in a forest or field.
‘mirin your second, unnecessary, shitty marshall cab bro. i really hope they had a fight before hand about whether to bring that douche’s second cab or the bassist cab and the bassist lost.
and is that seriously the hottest chick you could get?
Well that girl did make me want to give my fancy a tickle, so there’s that. Also, I’m gonna make my next band shoot our video in the complete opposite of a grassy field, like the casino I work at or something.
Also, I’m pretty sure I saw the lead singer at this Halloween party at my friend’s house last time in Orlando. I think he was one of the ones that kept trying to drink all of our keg and hand out cups to his friends without throwing down. If so, fuck that guy.
I hate that guy.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhxoW_4vPas&feature=related Check out their Captain’s log! Not really lulzy, but it’s funny how teens in metalcore bands have to make video diary’s and pretend that they’re rock stars with millions of fans whose sole desire in life is to watch everything that they do.
2:34
“Follow the goats!
They are the one way out
Follow the goat!
For they will FAIL”
At times this instrumentally sounds like The Offspring….(when they aren’t playing breakdowns)
Oh my god.
Y’know, Slenderman is a concept and an idea that I’ve been in love with since the fucking beginning. The same goes for Marble Hornets, the webseries that this video is based off of. So when I see two of my favorite things — Slenderman, and AWFUL FUCKING METALCORE — I’m simply ecstatic! Seriously, I cannot believe this exists! WAT.
uhg, Marble Hornets.
At least it got the views. Lol and the fire part wasn’t that bad.
I’d tap that.