Goon Christmas: Ruining Christmas through song

Jingle Bells, Batman Smells

With the Christmas season here it is borderline impossible to go anywhere without being bombarded by corny, overly earnest songs about the true meaning of Christmas and the birth of our lord, Jesus Christ. Of course, all that music is terrible, and people eat it up because they’re dumb as hell. A couple years ago the fine folks on the always funny Something Awful forums decided to make a compilation of goon (SA user) made Christmas music, and thus Goon Christmas was born.

The first song up is a mashup of Frank Sinatra and Lil Wayne, which is predictably awful. The first time I heard this my dad was in the room, and when “I was gettin’ some head” came in, my dad started laughing his ass off and my mom got super offended at how disrespectful the song was. Two points for Goon Christmas.

This song doesn’t need to make sense, but it doesn’t have to. It’s annoying and definitely sorta about Christmas so it works.

I’m not sure if this one was actually on the album, but it was on the thread so it counts. It might be on the 2010 album, which I didn’t realize became a real album until a few days ago. The person who created this managed to take an old Christmas tune and make it into something my nerd/Wapanese friends would go apeshit over. Is there a genre name for stuff that sounds like this?

I don’t think I have to explain this one really…

If you listen to this long enough it sounds like the tuba is melting as it’s being played, I swear.

Thankfully Jen de Melo (maker of Don’t Stop Believing In Santa Claus) re-uploaded these gems, I couldn’t find a download link anywhere that wasn’t dead. Download them all and blast them full volume at your home, workplace, school, and everywhere else you go this Christmas season in an effort to bound, gag, and torture to death any semblance of Christmas spirit you may encounter.

2009 Part 1
2009 Part 2
The files are kinda large, but totally worth it. And if not you can find the standout tracks on Youtube and Tindeck. Now go, ruin Christmas before it’s too late!

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8 Responses to Goon Christmas: Ruining Christmas through song

  1. PostModern Warfare says:

    That last song (Ho Ho Ho) had me in fucking hysterics. Such a perfect parody of mediocrity.

  2. Sea-Money says:

    We wish you an adequate festive period made me dump my trunks

  3. Ada says:

    I’ll stick with the Vandals ‘Oi To The World” album for all my holiday cheer.

  4. Dental_Damnation says:

    No Presents for Christmas by King Diamond is a great one as well. He has sleigh bells at the start and then the rest is just like every King Diamond song haha.

  5. dave says:

    Wikipedia says I’m wrong, but the horse noise at the beginning of Sleigh Ride by the Ronettes sounds like Insane in the Brain to me.
    The Cypress Hill song’s bass line is closer to Winter Wonderland though.

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