For anyone who is under 35 and might not be familiar, LIFETIME are considered a “seminal melodic hardcore/pop punk/emo band” from the 90s. As you might guess I always kind of hated them, but I could never really put my finger on why. Sure, there were the obvious things like how they were from New Jersey (grose) and that all their fans were douchebags scene snobs who thought they were too good for Merauder or Downset shows, but I couldn’t really tell you exactly why I never liked Lifetime until now: they invented FRIENDZONECORE!
I was listening to the band Boys No Good and it reminded me of the Lifetime song they are named of and how it was kind of proto-srscore/whiteknightcore (see also Descendents “Hope”). SMH @ these gay lyrics: “I said the boy’s no good / He’s a hood / He won’t treat you like I would.” I wish Twitter was around so they could add “SENT FROM THE FRIENDZONE”
Recipe for playing shows to a sea of skinnyfat betas: Write lyrics like “I don’t wanna fight with you / if i can’t be the one to have you / you sat that chair like a queen in the kitchen / I memorized the lines your eyes made at every squint you shot my way.” I can see it now, 250 chubby bald guys with beards and glasses screaming every meaningful word, pounding their hands on their chests in that way that they always do, thinking about how that girl doesn’t like them back, even after he made her the most heartfelt mixtape ever!!