WHITE KNIGHT CHRONICLES: Misc edition

Since I started paying attention to it a couple months ago, I feel like there’s a nearly endless stream of white knighting on the internets, and it’s never not funny. I was trying to think of some kind of some kind of theme or clever way of organizing all this, but fuck it, this stuff is funny enough on its own! Without further ado, here’s the latest batch of embarrassing, desperate white knighting I collected:

This kind of thing seems really popular with black guys, not sure why. Can we make  #iberespectingfemales a trending topic??

Bill corrects Richard on Monica’s medical status

This makes no sense to me– what’s the point of anonymous WKing?? All I can think is that whatever phaggot did this is planning on telling some girl about it so he will think that he’s “a really sweet guy”

Can we “thats it.. im coming up there..” be the next “please… be safe”?

.When you’re fucking her in the ass, Another guy is making gay Tumblr posts about it

Not sure if Walter’s direct approach is a reflection of his balls out, DGAF approach to dating, or due to him being old as fuck and not really knowing how to use a computer

It’s lulzy enough that my waifu Jamie Eason posted this, but as you can probably guess the army of white knights who jumped to her defense was even more hilarious. IMO Greg’s mistake was not sending that 163rd email that could have cleared everything up.
Also, would WK the fuck out of her/10

Greg dun goofed, Ron’s friend back traced him. Strong paragraphing skills.

Joseph sets Greg straight

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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65 Responses to WHITE KNIGHT CHRONICLES: Misc edition

  1. Inb4skin says:

    I wanna be like Walter when i’m 60.
    Dude knows how to talk straight. Respect.

    • Sergeant D says:

      Yeah i think i called that one wrong, dude is on point. Doesnt give a fuck and absolutely no fear

      • Inb4skin says:

        Probably has a huge dong and slays interesting foreign bishes.
        Seems like a man of the world who could teach us younger gut-stabbers a thing or two.

  2. Inb4skin says:

    Also,
    When you’re fucking her in the ass, Another guy is making gay Tumblr posts about it
    = GIANT LOL

    • idontevencare says:

      reverse white knighting :
      when you’re starting to have feelings about how “she’s special and unique”(shees) after months of “love” she’s probably making out like a fuckin baboon in heat with some thug calling you as an emotive pussy

      LOL even harder – its a true story ;(
      most women = men without balls pretending to have em.

      SMASH EM ALL WITHOUT REGRETS

    • Tom says:

      I never write LOL cos I don’t usually LOL at stuff I read on the net but boy did I fucking tilt my head back and LOL at that.

      Love WKC. Keep em coming Sarge

  3. inb4everthesickestkids says:

    that’s it… I’m coming up there. this needs to be a song.

  4. Cunthunt777 for prez says:

    in australia, we have a lolly called a white knight.

  5. beholdthesharktopus says:

    Is that black guy in the hat Eazy-E?

  6. Cuernos de Juarez says:

    I think the guy in the hat is actually asian, no? Besides, most black guys I’ve met in SoCal are the type to start off a romantic evening with “bitch, take them pants off”.

  7. freezeatlantis says:

    Worried I may be accidentally white knighting. I have a gf so I’m not looking to get pussy online by making myself look caring and sensitive. But recently a chick I know was having a hard time with some dick guy calling her worthless so I sent her a couple of (private) messages praising her looks and personality. I don’t feel like it was white knighting, just felt like the right thing to do, and I only told truths. But the thing is she works in the adult industry so she has plenty of loser guys telling her she is beautiful (and paying her money for the privelege of doing so) and I am worried this makes me no better than them, even though my only motivation was to cheer my friend up. So is it WKing to tell a stripper she’s pretty and fun even though you don’t wanna fuck her?

  8. JFC Carbomb says:

    WKing???

    Driving around during finals week hungover and sleepdeprived with friends yelling at all females we see and telling them they are really really pretty?

    It was really fun at the time either way

    PLEASE RESPOND.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I dunno, Bill Hitchert doesn’t REALLY seem to be WKing. And Walter is a boss! Has more guts than Walter.

    Anyway, D, how was the trip to China? Did you stay safe…? Why aren’t you responding? That’s it! I’m coming up there!

    • Anonymous says:

      *Has more guts than I’d care to admit.

      PS: I read all the comments on that Jamie post. LMFAO how come nobody figures out that she’s doing it for attention?

      • cougar party says:

        Yeah, doesn’t publicly posting about your stalker sort of giving him the recognition that he is looking for from you?

        Walter’s comment is amazing; all caps, misspelled words, no punctuation. You can literally visualize him stumbling over himself, blurting it out in real life.

  10. jm6g90 says:

    note how most of these guys send multiple responses, one after the other. 1st rule of flirting online/txting=keep it short and sweet!

    Also walter iant no WK, hes a G

  11. Dannibal says:

    Walter Farris is my Dad.

  12. Chinny chin chins says:

    Awesome post but the thing that had me cracking up is the first guy’s KAWS hand tat. “Seemed like a good idea in ’07..”

  13. ge5undhe17 says:

    So much WKs, enough to go on a pussy crusade! Virgin territories will be conquered…………or not

  14. lol says:

    sdlkfdkjfsdfgkdl fsjgdfjgkldfklsjjdklf lol @ walter

  15. Chainsaw Majini says:

    Both Monica and Bill have their names superimposed in their profile pictures. A People Magazine cover and a Hollywood Walk star.
    My guess is that Monica made hers first.

    Also, why does Zaid Ali look like he is staring directly into the sun? And honestly, I never really thought about how my uncle treats my aunt.

  16. inmyheadache says:

    Holy shit, I’m losing it over “That’s it…I’m coming up there”

    Makes me think of a dude I lived with in college. We’ll call him guy A. His roommate at the time (guy B) used to occasionally hang out with this girl but he wasn’t into her. I think he would smash from time to time.
    Anyway, this girl was laying it on thick that she wanted to sleep guy B. He told her she could sleep over but it would have to be on his floor because he didn’t want her in his bed. After this, Guy A says “you can sleep in my bed, I’ll take the floor”. After she was in his bed for a minute, he told her “alright move over, I’m coming up!”
    I don’t even know what type of WKing it was, but I’ve laughed about it for like 10 years at this point.

  17. HERMAN says:

    i wanna high five these guys for being so hilarious. don’t care if it’s unintentional.

  18. Throbbin Cock of American FREEDOM says:

    I like that one about assholes with girlfriends. How is it supposed to persuade you to not be an asshole. It is saying that if you are an asshole, you will get the sex from a relationship but not have to deal with all of the stupid bullshit.

    • Void Eater says:

      But then you don’t get the emotional reasurance that you are helping a beautiful lady during her time of emotional turmoil. Isn’t that far greater than sex?

  19. corgan says:

    fucking white knight posts are the best posts

  20. Mister Booze says:

    Old and don’t give a fuck, that Walter is a champ. I am old and don’t give a fuck and would probably do the same.

    • Fellow Old says:

      Preach it. I love being at a point in my life where I DGAF, it’s liberating!

      • Alex_P says:

        May our balls sway back in forth in the gentle summer breezes blowing through city parks.

        Also, I’m becoming a politician just to make sure that nudity is legal by the time I retire.

  21. dza says:

    “thats it.. im coming up there.. TO FUCK YOU IN HALF BITCH!!!!” –walter farris

    “richard’ shes already sick *gives computer stern look with pursed lips and hands on hips, sighs*. and im the WK in this post so gtfo unless you want to WK sword fight!”
    –bill hitchert

    lmao at richard imon “stay healthy” lol lets rub it in that shes sick!!!

  22. neutral knight says:

    hey mr. d what type of white knighting is this http://ladywankenobi.tumblr.com/post/14221297925/you-go-girlfren

  23. Void Eater says:

    TO WHITE KNIGHTS

    When you’re listening to her problems, she’ll think of you as a gay friend to ramble off to.
    When you give her attention, she loses all desire for you.
    When you make time for her, she laughs at what a pushover you are.
    When you try to make her smile again, she’s thinking about fucking the guy who made her cry.
    When you’re sure that you want her, she’s sure that you’re friendzoned.

  24. Genaro says:

    I really like it when you make this post, Sargeant. You are really a great guy and it must have taken you a lot of effort to do this. Really, keep up with the effort and please… Stay safe…

  25. Anonymous says:

    A white knight chronicles on my birthday. Thanks for lulZ Serg’

  26. Nightshift says:

    What a classy and professional broad Jamie Eason is. Lady, you make your fucking money by being sexually appealing to men. I wonder if there’s a better way to deal with a nuisance e-mailer than calling him out on Facebook like a fifteen year old? I would almost subscribe to her Facebook posts just so I could cheer Greg on and tell him not to give up.

  27. cgrind says:

    i had to track down that Jamie Eason status post, and it was worth it. I think I even saw some SYWH inspired comments. man ever since this site has opened my eyes to WKing i see it all the time now, like yesterday I saw the biggest WK ever on some girl’s status and I wanted to blast him for being such a pussy ass beta who doesnt have a shot in hell with this girl. amazing what you can learn from a humor blog…i am ur #1 fan sarge, please repsond?

  28. grymboner says:

    There should be an in-depth investigative series of posts on the reasoning and origin of White Knighting. We all have done it at least ONCE in our lives, but we can’t explain why.

    I blame Disney movies.

  29. Deeestroy says:

    saw an ‘inb4greg’ comment on that jamie eason post and completely lost it.

  30. Obsequium Mindris says:

    oh come on sarge give credit where credit is due.

    poster ge5undhe17 had the whole “i’m coming up there/for you” thing in the bag before this in this WK post: http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/2011/11/white-knight-chronicles-traffic-safety-edition/ (the post is close to the bottom).

  31. Autodidact says:

    I can’t take the video seriously with the camel jockey/tech support accent. No h8in on the arabs/indians, my ex was Indian n I have dat arab fever too

    BTW, you’d think if girls LIKE WKs they’d lap that shit up as opposed to giving anal in stalls to bros that “dgaf abt thier feelings”

  32. zipE says:

    “Fitness Model/Writer Jamie Eason
    Thank you to those who allow me to share my faith, especially those who repectfully oppose it. I mistakenly put all my value in my appearance when I started this business and to those who can tolerate my transparency, I thank you because I take this platform as a massive responsibility and what drives me as a person is far deeper than any aspect of fitness.”

    pfft that slurry hound deserves all the stalkers she gets.. someone get up there…right now

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