Although I use the term a lot, I’ve never done a post about REGRETCORE. As you might guess from the name, regretcore is music by fuckups, for fuckups, about being a fuckup. The majority of regretcore bands are hardcore, but it really doesn’t matter what genre the band is as long as they are fucked up losers who hate themselves and write a lot of songs about it.
Usually when I refer to something as ‘real’ I’m implying that they’re pretentious buttholes who are actually the opposite of real, but in this case I’m using the term non-ironically. There’s no shortage of bands who are just going through the motions, writing angsty lyrics about being sad or hating themselves simply because, well, that’s what all the other bands do, but there are only a few REAL regretcore bands. How can you tell the difference??
Don’t be confused by regretcore’s close relative selfimprovementcore! There any many similarities, but the key difference is that selfimprovementcore bands (such as The Ghost Inside) always end on a positive note, looking forward to the future, whereas regretcore has no confidence that things will ever get better.
It’s actually pretty easy: the defining characteristic of REAL regretcore bands is that there is something really uncool or embarrassing about them that tells you they truly give zero fucks. When I say “uncool,” I don’t mean that it’s something most SYWH readers would necessarily look down on, I mean it in the sense of “something that normal people and/or Tumblrsluts will be grossed out/scared by.” You know they’re sincere because nobody who was faking it would ever choose to do something that would negatively impact their chances of stabbing the guts or acquiring currency!
A few examples:
Let’s start off with a very clear example of the realest of real regretcore! This song is about being a meth addict, and it’s not because they watched a show about it on the Discovery Channel. This is from 1992, back when only people with personal experience knew about meth.
What’s uncool about them: Basically everything? Is there anything that’s NOT uncool about white trash drug addicts from Vallejo with long hair and Slayer shirts??
CROWN OF THORNZ
When it comes to songs about doing dumb shit that you regret, the first two things that go through your mind are also the chorus of this song: “I guess I’ve got to learn the hard way again” and “Please let there be a next time.” In fact, I can remember getting some really bad news once about something really fucking dumb that I did, sitting back in my chair, literally thinking “I guess I’ve got to learn the hard way again” and then thinking “fuck, I just said CoT lyrics.”
What’s uncool about them: The really, really, REALLY bad singing parts.
This is an obscure 90s hardcore band who are both tragically underappreciated AND classic regretcore! If these lyrics don’t hit home with you, count yourself as one of the lucky ones and move on.
What’s uncool about them: There’s maybe no bigger disparity between darkness and intensity of music and the underwhelming ordinariness of the people who made it: the singer was just a super chill, nice guy named Bob who had a label called Burrito Records *sad_trombone.wav*
Many people mistakenly think of these guys as selfimprovementcore, but don’t be fooled by their overwhelmingly positive lyrics about triumphing over adversity- they are 100% regretcore! The fact that Ezec says Jamey Jasta is the bigger scumbag of the two should tell you all you need to know O_o
What’s uncool about them: Everyone in the band is an old, fat, scummy metalhead. Also, opening for Slipknot at Ozzfest.
The perfect example of pop-punk regretcore! This song is called “Fuct Up Kid,” and it is about being a fucked up kid who grew up to be a fucked up guy, and how that’s kind of awesome but also kind of sucks. Oh, and the singer stabbed someone to death in a parking garage. If you also love Mest, check out this longer post I did on them.
What’s uncool about them: They play ska pop punk. They spell it “fuct.” They look like this.
Classic regretcore!! These guys are also commonly mistaken for selfimprovementcore, but I assure you there is no self improvement going on here.
What’s uncool about them: I’m just going to leave this and this here #BSGD
(ps just saw that this Crowbar video was uploaded by our bro Buske of Terror/Maximum Penalty/Ragmen- bonus regretcore points!)
Pretty much all Crowbar songs are about being super burned out on life, and wanting to give up and die. I don’t know if that’s exactly the same thing as hating yourself, but I feel like there’s enough common ground to call it regretcore!
What’s uncool about them: All of them are fat except for the drummer. They are so giant their guitars look like those little toy, inflatable ones that you get for a prize at the state fair.
The “Downsided” 7″ is easily in my top 5 hardcore records of all time, and not just because the music is some of the most intense, blistering material ever recorded. It’s also because the lyrics are so fucking dark and depressing- pretty much all of the songs are about being a depressed junkie. Also, the lyric sheet includes a huge, life-size photo of the guitarist’s gashed wrist from when he tried to kill himself.
What’s uncool about them: They were all groce, strung out heshers with long, stringy hair who worked at gas stations and wrote songs about banging Dilaudid.
I have no idea why this band doesn’t get more love because they go hard as FUCK, and White Trash Rob (also of Blood For Blood) is one of the best regretcore frontmen ever. This song is about being an angry, fucked up piece of shit loser, feeling confused and wanting to die aka THIS IS MY SHIT! Also, a kid got beat to death at a Ramallah show a few years back.
What’s uncool about them: The ghey gothic parts with keyboards and singing :/
VISION OF DISORDER
When this album first came out, I wasn’t feeling it, but after I got strung out a couple times and spent most of my time hanging out with burned out hardcore dudes who made their living selling drugs and robbing people I fell in love with it!
What’s uncool about them: Imagine how bummed sxe moshcore kids were when they popped this in and found out that VOD’s new sound could be best described as “Alice In Chains meets Godsmack”
After he got out of prison, the singer for Bulldoze started this band, and they are fucking sweet. “I regret what I did though / I had to do a bid” = hardest shit ever.
What’s uncool about them: This is a perfect example of how a band can be “uncool” not because they’re embarrassing, but because fangirls would be freaked out and scared (via normal people not being comfortable around career criminals)
Although I guess you’d call UL a pop-punk band, none of their songs are about anything remotely fun or upbeat. In fact, almost all of them are being lonely, miserable and hating yourself for making the same stupid mistakes over and over. In the case of this song, it’s about the singer being an alcoholic/drug addict/piece of shit who fucks everything up.
What’s uncool about them: They cross the line between “fun guys who like to party” and “fucked up alcoholic losers who are gonna kill themselves someday.” Also, this video looks like it was done with the Persona 3 engine.
This song = my life, basically. I love it so much I got a “NOW HERE FAST” tattoo (srs, seen here next to my non-ironic Chris Isaak tattoo). This is what regretcore is all about IMO: hitting bottom is the best motivator ever, because when you think about how shitty it is down there you’ll do anything not to be there again.
What’s uncool about them: Dat cover art… u mirin?!
What is your favorite REAL regretcore band?? What’s uncool about them??? Does it make you lol to think about how scared tr00 hxc tumblrsluts would be if they hung out with Jamey Jasta or Ezec for a weekend??