Some beta and his (platonic) girl friend play a TITLE FIGHT song

Thanks to reader Noah who submitted this, adding that he is “trying to decide if theyre ‘just friends,’ ‘dont need to label their relationship’, or engaged.” It made my butt hurt really, really bad, so naturally I had to post it ASAP.

My thoughts:

  • Strong “omg we’re so awkward and dorky but not how the REAL awkward dorks are like those creepy kids in Physics Club who nobody likes, more like a Zooey Deschanel movie where two whimsical, free spirited young people fall in love while they are on vacation in an ironic small town and everybody wishes they had our lief because we have so much fun and everything is magical to us” vibe
  • Kid is non-ironically really shitty at playing guitar but its ok because they were just feeling random and decided to put this on youtube and they really don’t care how stupid they look because they had fun making it and they aren’t trying to be cool!!
  • IMO the living room looks really comfortable and livable, yet with a stylish international flair. Big ups to mom for putting those Bombay Company and Restoration Hardware credit cards to good use! Wish they showed more of the shutters in the background though, we are looking for something to update our sun room :(

She has no idea what to write here because she is so awkward and shy!! I bet she wishes she could meet a guy who understands and appreciates her because omg it’s sooooo hard to find a nice guy!!! But wait… YOU are a nice guy, right?? Maybe if you kiss her ass on the internet, she will fall in love with YOU!

in b4 ‘DM if u ever need to talk’

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
This entry was posted in what u do after school when u live in the suburbs, white foolishness and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

69 Responses to Some beta and his (platonic) girl friend play a TITLE FIGHT song

  1. Jm6g90 says:

    Was gonna call you out on sounding a bit butthurt, but then I watched the video any my butt started hurting too :(

    Love the fact they keep pausing to drink bottled water as well, very much sums up the theme of white foolishness

  2. jmt says:

    So wait, I’m confused. Is this supposed to piss me off, or am i supposed to laugh at people who get angry about this?

  3. herinderpin says:

    I was listening to Title Fight as i read this article.
    I didn’t listen to the song because my mum might walk in and think its porn (coz the girl kept saying words at the start and i hate women talking loud coz its like porn)

  4. Watt Par says:

    They have so many quirks that the number of quirks they have is it’s own quirk!

  5. HERMAN says:

    I don’t like callin dudes betas cause I’m not alphaman5000 or anything, but I really feel sorry for his beta-ass demeanor. Maybe it works for him, but I don’t get the feeling that he is putting his peepee in her V, although the desire is obvious.

  6. xdndx says:


  7. dope says:

    and her tumblr is dedicated to her photography! who would’ve thought….

    white women, can’t live with ‘em, can’t shoot ‘em.

  8. stonewall says:

    Your eye for interior design is hilarious (srs). Reminds me of those articles on MI when you used to critique the houses of musicians. Maybe you can do a tmblrslut/betabro edition?

  9. Watt Par says:

    Girls who clap when they laugh = worse than the holocaust. Most forced “mannerism” ever.

    • SaveTheSkunkApes says:

      I had a housemate who was a dude that did that even when he was completely alone. If I randomly heard clapping it was 9 out of 10 times him watching something on TV that made him laugh.

      • Sergeant D says:

        Was he an actual phaggot?

        • SaveTheSkunkApes says:

          No, he was actually a bit of an amateur PUA. As in he tried to be a PUA but rather than reading PUA shit his guide was the only book he owned (than textbooks) and ever read for leisure: Tucker Max’s I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell. His trademark move once he got a 5 back to our apartment was to tell them how much he non-ironically loves the Little Rascals movie and then watch it with them. He had his successes but I don’t think he realized the main reason his really weird game worked was because he one of very few black guys on campus and we had a good chunk of girls with racist Bible thumping dads who wanted to spite them and hipsters who wanted to prove to themselves how not racist they are by having sex with a bona fide minority.

  10. I get the feeling that the dudes in Title Fight hate these kids and kids like them just as much as you do

  11. Chillin' says:

    Was this like, the guy intentionally telling the whole world he isn’t going to be smashing that chick? Holy shit, I’m surprised by how much of a pussy he seems to be, even when he isn’t directly kissing her ass in that video. Congratz sir, you managed to seem even more beta than a WK without WKing!

  12. Save Parker says:

    This is really embarrassing, feel bad for the bro. Glad they couldn’t even get past two awkwardly sung words of the song anyway. When he said acapella I braced myself for the some of most rage-inducing donkey vocals, but luckily they kept not focusing on it.

    I mean, I get why someone would do this, I have definitely wasted time with a just friend and some lame band, not in the same sitting though, and definitely never thought it was worthy of filming.

  13. Obsequium Mindris says:

    now that you mention it, that living room DOES look really comfortable. i think i’m gonna steal that look for my own studio apt

  14. Void Eater says:

    Intentionally scripting out how zany you are=not zany.

  15. TitleFightWonderYearsI'mNotSadXXX says:

    U guiz r jest madd thet dey r sew qt 2gether. Hez totes herr beztie!!!

  16. Thomas says:

    I was having a hard time understanding why these two would put this on the internet, but then I remembered it’s because they crave attention from strangers just like all whites who want to be unique.

  17. Void Eater says:

    Just noticed that you put a space between girl and friend. It’s the attention to details like this that place SYWH above the rest of the internet comedy blog rabble!

  18. Brah says:

    I didn’t watch the video, I just read the article and the comments and I’m already asshurt. That line about how “our life is liek a Zooey Deschanel movie~ so quirky lol” ended my butt’s will to live.

  19. Pretty sure I first mentioned the “DM if you need to talk” line on here first. See you in court, fucker. Dialling 911 right now on your ass.

  20. BonerPatrol says:

    They should go fuck themselves.

  21. Suzanne Whang says:

    Idk, the couch looks very comfortable, but i couldn’t see myself actively entertaining in a piece that provides such little support for engaging conversation as well as lowriding seat height. The matter of personal space can be a problem with guests who aren’t quite acquainted with each other. Plus it’s a shame the piece intrudes on an otherwise enviable window space. I would suggest better placement in a home theater or semi-outdoor patio where can one soothe the raeg from this video.

  22. Christopher says:

    I’m not going to lie: I grew up in Portland, OR and I’m going to art school, so I’m friends with a lot of people like this. That said, I’m not friends with these two specifically, so I kind of don’t want to watch them do nothing for three minutes.

    Maybe if I were in Title Fight I’d be happy that I’d inspired two goobers to dick around on the internet for three minutes, but I kind of doubt it.

  23. Mister Booze says:

    I never know what to make of these things [via being old] but I think I’m being trolled. Why else would they edit in the mistakes? Makes me wonder if Sgt. D is behind this whole thing, like some sorta puppet master. Like when I was in Korea and we all knew the Chinese were behind it, and the Soviets behind them. Good times.

    • Anonymous says:

      In a way, the world-view of the Party imposed itself most successfully on people incapable of understanding it. They could be made to accept the most flagrant violations of reality, because they never fully grasped the enormity of what was demanded of them, and were not sufficiently interested in public events to notice what was happening. By lack of understanding they remained sane. They simply swallowed everything, and what they swallowed did them no harm, because it left no residue behind, just as a grain of corn will pass undigested through the body of a bird.

  24. sauce says:

    this is taking place after her parents have gone to sleep and he’s allowed to still be there because her parents think he is a gay and would not try to piitp/m/b.

  25. Anonymous says:

    It must be snowing(In Portland most likely) cause all I see are snowflakes. Are they pumping estrogen into the water supply?

  26. Aussiecore says:

    So beautiful.

  27. SalviBro says:

    this was so akward to watch that i got one of those weird spine shivers…

  28. fuzz says:

    lol @ the white knights’ comments: “ignore the other comments, they’re just lonely, angry, butthurt, and hate fun” Everyone knows that calling someone lonely is the tried-and-true way of making yourself seem better than them!

  29. dankmathuss says:

    i know a girl who does that stupid “claugh & laugh” combo. she later told us she would jerk my best friend off “in circles”, prompting us to call it the witches brew..

  30. J_hunter says:

    Which one of you cheeky cunts go by thefuzz97 on youtube?

  31. Taytex says:

    Oh jolly christ I am so mad that I watched this… I thought it would eventually lead them to playing the song and then it didn’t and then I asked myself, “So why was this even edited and uploaded to the internet if not to show off how musically talented these individuals must be?” And that’s when I realized that they are so FUCKING GOOFY AND AWKWARD that it was totally worth watching I WISH I WAS UNIQUE AND ARTSY TOO. My ass hurts.

  32. Daryl says:

    So to the negative comments, this is what having fun looks like. You probably wouldn’t know. And to the comments about him sucking at guitar.. You don’t know his playing capabilities. Check his band, The Bogarts out. He plays guitar in it.. He’s not bad in the least bit.

  33. Anonymous says:

    Zooey had never been more at a loss to make her feelings appear what they were not. It was necessary to laugh, when she would rather have cried.

  34. Anonymous says:

    …the blowgarts.

  35. Joey says:

    it’s creepy that someone would post this girl’s profile. weird?

  36. Pat says:

    would still smash this girl with the strength of a thousand suns

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>