EMMURE make leggings now; are officially the best band of all time


Many people think I’m joking when I talk about how much I love EMMURE. I have no idea why they would think I’m being sarcastic about liking a retarded, wiggerish moshcore band with songs about sucking dick and Transformers. Well, I guess when I write it out like that, I can see where there are coming from. But just for the record, although they are definitely lulzy, I seriously, non-ironically think Emmure are amazing and one of the best bands of this generation.

They just released a promo for their new album, “SlavE To ThE GamE,” which reminds of all those early 80s movies where someone would get sucked into a videogame and have to fight their way out, you are like “Whoa that was trippy, videogames are sweet but duuuuude it would be hella scary if you had to fight a robot for real!!!” Lulziness of the promo aside, listen to the song when it comes in at :35– it goes hard as FUCK! Sick nu-metal riffs and and ridiculously brutal “bleh”??? I’M IN.


But more importantly, check out their “package deal” for girls: EMMURE LEGGINGS. Mind = blown, penis = throbbing. Brb fapping to this thumbnail (I put my hand over the back of Thanos Reignz’ head so I wouldn’t accidentally look at it when I cum, like when you are watching porn and they surprise you by switching to a rearview doggystyle shot and the last thing you see before your jizz squirts out is the guy’s taint/asshole).

Thanks to reader Aristo for awaring us to this amazing development!!

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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66 Responses to EMMURE make leggings now; are officially the best band of all time

  1. RJG says:

    Emmure and The Acacia Strain are the two bands I appreciate being awared to the most from SYWH. Will deadlift to dat siqq riffage.

  2. nimplysaked says:


  3. Dental_Damnation says:

    “the last thing you see before your jizz squirts out is the guy’s taint/asshole”

    FML, the absolute worst.

  4. jm6g90 says:

    someone on the rise records promo team probably reads SYWH

  5. Walker says:

    I really hope that this album is entirely breakdowns and choruses. Emmure is at its best when they dont try to right songs, just mosh parts.

    You should try to interview Thanos, I want to find out exactly how much of a reclusive weirdo he is!

  6. Lucifersmile says:

    IDGAF Emmure rule

  7. butt hutt says:

    now you can stare at her Emmure leggings when YOU WANNA SEE HER SUCK HIS SICK!!!

  8. honestabebread says:

    Backing that Emmure is the best band ever. No fucks. Decepticon 4 lyfe #cuckoldcore YOU CANT FUCK WITH US

  9. wlfblnkt says:

    Someone needs to make a “DEFEND NU-METAL” hoodie with a Deception logo in the middle. Would wear the fuck out of it.

  10. thecodelus says:

    Had no idea they were coming out with a new album, stoked!

  11. chewbakka says:

    Slave To DA Game!!!!!!!!

  12. Matt Pinfield says:

    Slave to DAT GAME

  13. Anonymous says:

    need emmure uggs and emmure northface colab windbreaker

  14. SexHaver1987 says:

    Dat album cover

  15. Watt Par says:

    Already pre-ordered the hoodie package. Super stoked.

  16. Save Parker says:

    I wonder if the Emmure brand leggings make it easier for you to mosh.

  17. Lou says:

    Is it just me or does that Bleh sound like a Hydralisk?

  18. VyceVictus says:

    I want to know where this was filmed. They still have Arcades?
    I hate that the fact that you can only play arcade games “ironically” nowadays in hipster bars where they charge you 10 bucks for drinks and only have shitty “classics” like galaga or mortal kombat II. You know you can put the entire Metal Slug and Capcom/Marvel collections in one cabin right motherfucker??
    That said, I love the fact that I can buy this album without any irony and totally laugh and mosh along to the absurd levels of wiggertude, since sarge helped me realize long ago that being an elitist IMN is truly no fun and does not a tight bro make.
    Apreeshin da wisdom, D.

  19. Fazz says:

    Non-ironically fucking hyped up from this album. Thanos McReignz can’t lose.

  20. asi styla says:

    0:35 that nu-metal rip off from fear factory – shock listen to it.


  21. Martin Regnen says:

    Confused by the “CD or 1 vinyl”, though. Girls who would want Emmure leggings aren’t nerdy enough to want vinyl, are they?

  22. IMPACT FONT says:

    Non-ironically <3 Emmure so stoked for this album

  23. SHEENREAPER666 says:


  24. honestabebread says:

    > Normally wears a large

    > Buys all his Emmure gear in 2X

  25. ChinnyChinChins says:

    ugh. jizzing to that rearview-doggy will definitely leave you feeling strange for the rest of the day. That said, props to emmure for recognizing their fanbase and milking their wallets (srs)

  26. Walker says:

    It’s hilarious when bands like Emmure release vinyls of ther records. Who the hell would want that? Do people who listen to emmure even know what records are?

    • VyceVictus says:

      I think that its just as foolish that vinyl is being made at all; just pandering to audiophiles who want “an authentic listening experience”.

      I am seriously considering buying one as a collectible. (I dont own a record player, but who does amirite)

  27. Open Window Maniac says:

    Super stoked. Definitely looking into getting the jersey and shorts package. I’ll face getting made fun of by my tr00 hxc friends. Would also wear at my neo-skramz band’s next show. NFG.

  28. MasterSlave says:

    Love Emmure, but not sure if ‘non-ironically’…

  29. Anonymous says:

    does not come in xs. would not be able to properly slut. will not be purchasing.

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