You can only imagine how excited I was when I saw an email from our bro Albert at Decibel entitled “Guttural slamming hip hop” arrive in my inbox. I eagerly opened it and read the body of it, which was from some guy named FM HAIVALA who claims to play “gutt-hop.” Could this be the guy to finally pull it off??? I could hardly wait to listen! Unfortunately, my excitement faded the second I pressed play: it’s absolutely awful (shocking, right??).
This is his “best” song, but only because it sounds pretty much exactly like my favorite Brokencyde song, “Bree Bree” (but much shittier):
Now that I think about it, it was actually pretty next-level that Brokencyde were doing rap songs about pig squeal vocals 5 or 6 years ago. Respect.
I want to love that this exists, and I’m definitely feeling the super-creepy, basement dwelling compulsive masturbator vibe that brings to mind all those “I’m beginning to think these guys might actually be pedophiles” bands like Impetigo and The Meatshits. Sadly, it pretty much just sounds like really bad Myspace crunkcore from 2007 and I feel like the world might be better off without it :(
I feel like I should include what was probably the first attempt at GUTTURAL SLAMMING HIP HOP, from wigger slam legends ENTORTUREMENT way back in 1998. It’s also pretty terrible and lulzy, but I admire their lack of fucks given!
To call Mike Smith from Suffocation’s rap project GRIMM REAL “good” would probably be a stretch, but I’m not going to hate on that “Liege of Inveracity” loop! Some of the other songs have blast beats in them, but I’m too lazy to find them.
If you’re excited for the potential of GUTTURAL SLAMMING HIP HOP but also aren’t feeling this stuff, watch this space. Stay tuned for an exclusive premiere from DEPRESSED TEENAGER that will deliver the goods!