GUTTURAL SLAMMING HIP HOP exists; unfortunately it’s really bad

You can only imagine how excited I was when I saw an email from our bro Albert at Decibel entitled “Guttural slamming hip hop” arrive in my inbox. I eagerly opened it and read the body of it, which was from some guy named FM HAIVALA who claims to play “gutt-hop.” Could this be the guy to finally pull it off??? I could hardly wait to listen! Unfortunately, my excitement faded the second I pressed play: it’s absolutely awful (shocking, right??).

This is his “best” song, but only because it sounds pretty much exactly like my favorite Brokencyde song, “Bree Bree” (but much shittier):

Now that I think about it, it was actually pretty next-level that Brokencyde were doing rap songs about pig squeal vocals 5 or 6 years ago. Respect.

This song is shockingly bad, but props for the legit pornogrind-style logo! It’s like halfway between Nuclear Death and Demilich‘s, but also much shittier.

I want to love that this exists, and I’m definitely feeling the super-creepy, basement dwelling compulsive masturbator vibe that brings to mind all those “I’m beginning to think these guys might actually be pedophiles” bands like Impetigo and The Meatshits. Sadly, it pretty much just sounds like really bad Myspace crunkcore from 2007 and I feel like the world might be better off without it :(

I feel like I should include what was probably the first attempt at GUTTURAL SLAMMING HIP HOP, from wigger slam legends ENTORTUREMENT way back in 1998. It’s also pretty terrible and lulzy, but I admire their lack of fucks given!

To call Mike Smith from Suffocation’s rap project GRIMM REAL “good” would probably be a stretch, but I’m not going to hate on that “Liege of Inveracity” loop! Some of the other songs have blast beats in them, but I’m too lazy to find them.

If you’re excited for the potential of GUTTURAL SLAMMING HIP HOP but also aren’t feeling this stuff, watch this space. Stay tuned for an exclusive premiere from DEPRESSED TEENAGER that will deliver the goods!

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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35 Responses to GUTTURAL SLAMMING HIP HOP exists; unfortunately it’s really bad

  1. ANALBLASTER says:

    Someone needs to start putting gutteralz over TWO STACKS beats, and throw in some slamz! Then, heaven will have offically reached earth.
    U down bro?

  2. Void Eater says:

    I’m big pimpin, you know I’m big pimpin.

  3. J_hunter says:

    Mike Smith and Entorturement know whats up. The other two sound like Waka Flocka’s crack baby got loose in the booth.

  4. Walker says:

    I find this kind of music fascinating. I want to know what motivates these people to put the time and money into writing and recording this

  5. xStizzy says:

    There exists some Myspace mixtape somewhere with a bunch of unknown cybergrind bands doing awful covers of rap songs. Some of the songs are actually kinda cool, and all of it is fucking hilarious.

    • Da Scorn says:

      This sound like crunkcore / Cybergrind of the worst type

      Question: was brokencyde doing this first or I set myself on fire with thir demo?

      I good fusion of slam and Hiphop would be a slam band with a guttural vocalist and a black skinned (skills) rapper who actually makes good hiphop….a Busta Rhymes could bring slam to whole new lvl i guess…

      Slams of the more “melodic” kind would work great with rap

      Add a few , very typical electronic elements to the slam-mix (for example this hiphop child-voice-effect at start of track) and you got a good balanc of boths genres best parts!!

      I hear it in my head…great party :D

  6. Martin Regnen says:

    FM Haivala? Is this Finnish?

  7. VyceVictus says:

    This is like the molecular inverse/magnetic polar opposite of Real Rap Metal.
    …..It goes without saying how supremely bummed I am that this stuff sucks shit.
    Was feeling that Grimm Real shit though.
    I have hope for the future that someone will get this right.

  8. anon says:

    The last two videos are fucking awesome.
    I want more of that and less of the first two videos.

  9. dope says:

    PTPM was a slam band that made pretty decent raps. most specifically “Almost as cool as steal a prosthetic leg” and “christ benoit yous a g.” The songs of my teen years.

  10. Anonymous says:

    ive posted this before in the comment section but i feel now its more relevant. i always really liked this track by haakon, grimy gangsta rap samples over beefy slams and theres even a blastbeat lol

  11. LC says:

    I would like to point out that that Entorturement song starts with a sample from one of the finest movies of all time, CB4

  12. Keka says:

    *Listens to that first song* …Well, I don’t know what I was expecting, but that was definitely worse than it. My god the shittiness.

  13. Christopher says:

    I’m glad to see Sesame Street’s two-headed monster is trying to expand its artistic horizons.

  14. patptak says:

    i read the ‘i slam’ like ISLAM, and was like – wtf, are there going to be some muslim hardcore songs where they praise allah and beating up women ? – can there be anything worse than this? then i checked the songs and indeed – there are.

    • ANALBLASTER says:

      That’s what I always thought! ISLAM, THEREFORE I AM.
      It’s cryptically beautiful, if you think about it.

      Also I want an Impact Font shirt that says

  15. CodineWeed says:

    I actually really like this. I wish the vocals were more gurgly, though.

    You also forgot Emcee Reefus Socal! That’s like, Devourment Gutt-Hop!

    • Da Scorn says:

      You just blew my mind!!!
      that Emcee Reefus Socal stuff truly deserves the tag Gutthop and its really enjoyable!!!

      now imagine that stuff with some drops followed by crushing slams….

      <3 CodineWeed

  16. DJ DM says:

    kinda surprised you haven’t done a post on the shot blockers (i think is what they are called) which is freddy madball, ezec and some DMS dudes. ones of the dudes was even in the ruff ryders (dmx’s crew) and really that crew in general. i know you’ve mentioned e town concrete (obvious lulz) and skarhead and stuff like that, but a full post would be nice.

  17. Chris says:
    sarge you need to check this out. my dude dylan ross from cleveland made a beat out of a guttural engorgement song thats pretty awesome. for srs its probably the only song ive ever heard that actually combines slam and rap without turning into crunkcore.

  18. Praise Rang says:

    Check out MC Bushpig and Butchers Harem. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

  19. cunt says:

    A band playing legit slams while some dude raps would be fucking ILL

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