In honor of the Black History Month tradition of playing sappy black pride movies on TV, I’d like to share some awesome Black Foolishness films with you guys and gals. For better or worse, these are as key to understanding our culture as all the old dead black people you learn about in Elementary School every February. It would be easy enough to just post some straight up coonery though (see above). Instead, lets take a look at some flicks that while thoroughly flawed, have enough heart and originality to make them worthwhile viewing.
First up is Phat Beach, a nice spin on the quest-for-pussy teenage comedies usually starring nothing but white people. Benny is a responsible chubbybro who gets stuck in a shitty summer job when he really wants to work on his poetry via artsy black ppl. His zany friend Terrel persuades him into a series of bad decisions leading to Phat Beach, on a search for fun, love, and finding himself. Plenty of overacting, rapper cameos, and 90′s titties make this one worth watching. 3/5 Hot wing platters!
You may recognize chubby bro as the fat kid from Lean On Me, the greatest Feel Good Black movie ever starring Lucius Fox.
Next up is 3 Strikes, also starring Brian Hooks in some top-flight foolishness. Rob is doing a stretch in prison from his second conviction, about to get out on his last day. He hopes to avoid his “third strike” by staying straight and doing the right thing, so to speak. (For you foreigners and youngsters, the Three Strikes law was policy made famous in the 90′s where if someone recieved their third conviction for a serious crime, they’d get automatic life in prison). Shortly after he gets picked up however, he gets involved in a shootout and wrongly accused, where he has to stay on the run and find a way to clear his name. 4/5 40′s of OE!
“…and inroducing Monique” is a sign of greatness or a death knell, depending on your point of view
Kid and Play are famous for the legitimately good House Party, but they have a forgotten hidden gem that I feel deserves just as much praise: Class Act. Kid plays the super nerd Duncan who has perfect grades and is about to get into an Ivy league school via being light-skinned, but cant get admitted unless he passes Phys ed. Play is “Blade”, a hard edge gangsta via being dark -skinned, who gets out on parole on the condition that he graduates High-school. By The Grace Of God, their school records get switched, from which they both see an opportunity in the situation and hilarity ensues. This was one of my favorite movies as a kid, and I think its one of the few of these kinds of movies that holds up well to this day. 5/5 gold Afro picks!
I wish they still made “talk to the audience” promos like this still, these guys were hilarious!
Let’s switch gears up for a look at some srsbuisness-level of foolishness in the 1998 film Belly. One could call it the Black Scarface or thematically speaking the Black Fight Club, and while not nearly as good as those movies, it is well put together and unique enough to be considered a cult classic in its own right. DMX and Nas play the leads as professional criminals in NY and, in probably the smartest decision ever made by Rappers turned actors, basically play themselves, which really serves the movie well. You might be tempted to recommend this to your wigger friends, but be warned: the movie goes uncomfortably hard and raw at times, especially the patois parts with the Jamaican drug lords. Definitely not Caribbean Rhythms-style easy viewing; shit gets real. 4/5 stray bullets!
Grimey Hood Shit: The Movie
And to round things out back into happy territory, here’s a great piece of Black Foolishness that you can share with your kids: Good Burger!! Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell were part of a surprisingly funny all kids sketch comedy show called All That, a sketch from which this film is based on. Real Talk: Two young black guys successfully pulling off Laurel &Hardy level comedy good enough for kids and adults to get is pretty special and I think a pretty amazing/groundbreaking feat. The perfect movie to watch while under the influence; when the munchies hit, you can go out and get a case of white castles. 4/5 McRib combos!
Ed, and this movie in general, is much more clever than you think!
Alright Bros, hope you enjoyed. Do you guys know any more good Black Foolishness movies that I left out? Keep in mind, Im not referring to Blaxploitation films because that’s a whole other topic unto itself. You will also note my explicit exclusion of Tyler Perry films. That’s a conversation too long for here. Suffice to say that I have nothing against him and its a great thing that a black film maker is earning bank; his flavor of UncleTomfoolery is simply not my thing. Look forward to your comments and recommendations!
Oh, one more thing: I am particularly interested/curious to know if you Euros or South American dudes have you’re own brand of Slav/Brown Foolishness movies. That would be a wonderful thing to discover. I’ll leave you with something special. Unreliable sources directed me to this bit from Uganda. If Friday might be considered the Gold Standard of Black Foolishness, this bit of African Foolishness is the goddamn Holy Grail. Peace!:
Do you get uncomfortable watching black movies next to IRL black ppl? Have you ever been too scared to tell black ppl to shut up in a movie theater? Are MLK and Frederick Douglass rolling in their graves because of these racist ratings systems? Who killed Captain Alex??
SYWH, where all races can be foolish together. I award this post 5/5 KFC bucket meals.
Wait a second, I’m white. Scratch the KFC thing, I award this post 5/5 trust fund checks.
inb4reparations
I award this post 5/5 “apology slave walks”.
5/5 “SO SORRY” t-shirts
5/5 absentee fathers
5/5 accusations that doing well in school is “acting white”
5/5 half-empty Jungle Juice bottles thrown on the sidewalk by the bus stop
5/5 uncannily good bass guitarists
5/5 Large lower class families all living under the same roof
5/5 “Nigga, that shit is WHACK!!!” ‘s
5/5 other vaguely racist yet lulzy observations about African American culture
idk I think I was pretty explicitly racist, nothing vague about it
5/5 crack deals
5/5 nations of islam
5/5 photos with super srs faces
5/5 middle passages
5/5 Yelling at the TV screen during bad movies
5/5 ARSENIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Halls
5/5 drive-bys
5/5 ghetto birds chasing one nigga
5/5 no longer funny racist jokes but I’m using them anyway
Good Burger is just so good, even with Sinbad in it.
+1, amazing movie despite itself.
I award this post 5/5 Grape Sodas.
Love your work Vyce!
Here in Australia we aren’t lucky enough to have hilarious African Americans, so our foolishness movies are just straight up foolish (in the bad way)
Jellymad at you Americans and your stupid movies! (srs)
A while ago I saw some abysmally bad Australian comedy about a pizza restaurant. I think it was made by some Lebbobros (or maybe Wobbros) and it was just a mixture of entry level racist jokes and bad slapstick. So I see what you mean!
That would be “Fat Pizza”. They’re Leb bros.
Whole movie is entry level racism and “Laugh at us because our accent is funny and our culture is different to normal”
It’s zany as fuck though, no denying that.
The TV show, “Pizza” used to be really fucking good, but went downhill long before the movie came out
That Captain Alex movie was funded by 419 scam money. I guarantee it!
WALALALALALAA!!!
It’s no Tebaatsasula, though.
BEKE BEKE BEKE ESSASI
I remember really enjoying good burger as a kid. How do you feel about the landmark piece of African American cinema Booty Call?
That Jamie Foxx grew to become an Oscar caliber actor shows in hindsight just how well put together that film is and how it holds up just as well today. The white ppl analogy would be to say that in retrospect, Hudson Hawk has grown to be a cult classic because it shows how perfectly cast Bruce Willis was and how well he executed displaying the potential to come.
I non-ironically think that movie is fucking hilarious
FAVORITE one of the genre.
jamie’s character was named “BUNZ” and vivica’s character was named “LYSTERINE.”
booty call would be the holy grail of ‘african american cinema’ but it transcends race/genre/etc like tiger woods
Class Act and (the polar opposite) Airborne were my childhood staples on premium cable.
Goodburger had that bitchin less than jake ending theme.
You forgot to mention the wayans bothers classic don’t be a menace.
I grew up in a predominately black/mexi/pr neighborhood, so when they would let us watch movies in class, kids would bring all kinds of black foolishness films, that’s how I first seen goodburger(love it!) and class act and a bunch more. My fave will always be Friday though.
Nowadays I live in Mexico and we have our own Mexican foolishness films, narco movies. Which are all just basically about drugs, women, and guns. Very recommended.
Please post a few titles, very interested to check some out!
My colombian friend used to show me these fucking crazy 80s Mexican movies that got REALLY REALLY weird… being colombian, he liked them because it was an opportunity to belittle mexicans. I forget the name, but it’s like a whole genre… i’ll ask him.
Not gonna lie, when you said “straight up coonery” I giggled a little.
I’m gonna go out on a limb based on the poster alone and guess that in Phat Beach Coolio’s character is the zany one.
Nah its Brian Hook’s character. Coolio is only in it for like 6 seconds.
but what about pootie tang?!?!?!
trufax: This movie is on the “Classics” rack at the movie rental place I frequent. I lol every time I see it.
written by a white man
pootie tang, that is
Not just any white man, Louis CK.
wow i never knew that. the shit you can learn in the sywh comment section.
everyone is always on louis ck’s nuts hes like the pasty lard version of the nerd internet phenom nathan fillion
Watch ANUVAHOOD serious.
For narco movies just look for films that follow the “name of car followed by color of car” naming scheme. La Durango Roja, Chrysler 300 and La Camionetta Gris are all staples. Good luck finding them in the states though.
And yes, there is an entire genre of “people from X part of Europe” are crazy movies.
But INDIA is where you want to look. They have a thriving foolishness industry. Dabangg, Once Upon a Time in Mumbaai, Golmaal Returns and Rocket Singh are ones you can find with English subs. They are strange versions of American style movies as filtered by Indian cinema lenses.
Ah fuck I need to check those out!
The only Indian actionish flick I’ve ever seen is Delhi Belly, and while it was meant as an action-comedy and I enjoyed it, it wasn’t nearly as foolish as I’m sure Bollywood is capable of being.
def jam’s how to be a player! crowning moment in bill bellamy’s career.
also, a little-known gem called black spring break:
Def Jam: How to be a Player. Backed. Fucking. Hard.
Not really a lesser known movie, but The Gods Must Be Crazy is one of the greatest comedies of all time and it was filmed in apartheid South Africa. TONS of foolishness, but none of it was especially mean-spirited or racist. Also, are Bushmen actually black or their own race?
That movie is fucking hilarious, although not sherrif everyone would agree. I loled because my parents are from around that area so it hits closer to home. So much ridiculous shenanigans – South African version of slapstick.
Also bushmen are black but they’re so closed off from the rest of the world that they’re not “black” as such – they don’t conform to any typically black stereotypes.
Re Euro foolishness, this is from director Emir Kusturica’s Black Cat, White Cat: http://youtu.be/JdRPRvhXSCo
“Good Burger:” Funny when I was seven, funny when I was 17, and still funny now.
Side note: Keenan Thompson in Good Burger is reaction face GOLD
Can we all agree that Hot Boyz is the greatest movie ever
Backed.
fear of a black hat is ultimate black foolishness even though it is a spoof movie.
NWH – Niggaz Wit Hatz
some classic lines in this flick
reminds me of that band Blakk Africa in “Bamboozled”
I’ve got one word for you: Dolemite.
Greatest trailer ever.
i feel like blaxsploitation is a whole other genre (certainly there is some overlap though). that said, I fucking loved Rudy Ray Moore movies in high school!
Great post but where is “Who Made The Potato Salad?” with Jaleel White?
Ah, my friend told me about this movie a while back but I didnt believe her, thought she was pullng my leg. Will check out. Also, I just googled some images and grown-ass man Urkel is fucking RIPPED!
Good Post
I give 5/5 EBT cards
5/5 food stamps
5/5 Nigga moments
5/5 bums on skidrow asking for something for nothing after a lifetime of horrible life choices
x-D
next up Brown Foolishness:
- That one movie with the mexicans in AZ or NM go apeshit over the tortilla that looks like the virgin mary i forget wtf its called
- Born in East LA (fucken classic…. w/ lowriders n chicano slang galore =D)
-187 (nothing like seeing tack from the stoned age play a tagbanger speaking crumbled up spanish)
- American Me (“Don’t look at me lil puppet!!!”)
-Mi Vida Loca (dumb ghetto bitches having kids is dumb ghetto bitches having kids x-D yet its also one of Salma Hayek’s first roles pre-Desperado)
- and the ultimate of all brown foolishness : MACHETE!!!
I would include mexican narco films but thats another post up in itself
Salma Hayek
8===================D
I live in like a 99% white community. Most of the black people I know (of whom there are eight total) are chill, but there’s this one dude who’s really irritatingly afrocentric and will not hesitate to lecture you on how your ancestors raped his ancestors.
Awesome post – srs lol’ed at work from this. And I love watching Good Burger while high.
Serious opinion: I think Blue Streak is probably top three funniest movie of all time material.
Also, Big Momma’s House. Important historical footnote: an article in some UK tabloid that said Lee Murray and his goons got the idea to wear masks for the Securitas robbery (largest cash robbery in UK history) from watching Big Momma’s House.
Watching goodburger right now while high, shit is gold. Is Kell dead?
Fucking Day Day in Next Friday is the ultimate. Pretty much every line he says is quotable.
“Fat Bitches need love too CRAIG.”
Also, entry level racism towards Mexibros is included. Bonus points for the shitty white skater kid too.
February should just fucking Sinbad month!
class act fucking rules
Class act fucking backed hard.