Would you like a sip of rageahol??

I could try to write some snarky captions about what a dildo/fggt/ass hole this piece of hipster trash is, but we have all seen that before. Instead, I would like to use this as the springboard for a meaningful discussion about the question I can’t stop asking myself: why do whites/hipsters think it’s cool to look like a fggt (srs)? From what I can tell, it is because whites all have a deep-seeded need to be seen as special snowflakes, and they know that adopting feminine mannerisms and appearance is a great way to stand out from the crowd.

For example, his bicycle. I am sure he is aware that it’s a girls’ bike, and that it was a very deliberate choice, most likely because simply having a track bike wasn’t enough. This baffles me, because literally nobody other than other hipster fggts will think this is cool, and even if another hipster fggt DOES think it’s cool, they will never acknowledge it since that would invalidate their own specialness (not sure what that whole phenomenon is all about either, but that’s another story).

Would he be flattered if someone thought he was an actual homosexual?? What is he trying to say with his varisty jacket??? OTW readers, do any of your people need to be special snowflakes this badly???? Pls respond :(

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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143 Responses to Would you like a sip of rageahol??

  1. Narhead says:

    OH MY GOD

  2. JFC Carbomb says:

    Listen up, maggots. You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You’re the same decaying organic matter as everything else.

  3. saywhat says:

    Mixte and step-through frames make sense for certain men’s needs (read: you are old and can’t swing your leg over a regular road frame), maybe this guy is in the same situation due to pants tightness?

    • suchjosh says:

      I was going to mention something along these lines. Mixte frames are cool, but you’re typically going to see someone with a touring/clubbing set up on a legit mixte, not some three speed vintage Raleigh bullshit.

      • Leper Convict says:

        HEHE you two just outed yourselves as hipsters with these cycle wank posts.. how ironic..especially as hipsters love irony

  4. Feathered_Derpent says:

    Well you can never really narrow it down to one thing, but I would say they just grew up in a place that leant itself to that particular aesthetic.

    I tend to look at fashion and style as though they are viruses or colonies of bacteria. Branching off, mutating, rejoining in new ways, fighting one another. The conscious effort on his part is probs minimal.

  5. GoingDeaf? says:

    I believe the girl’s bike choice is practical. With pants that tight, how would you be able to swing your leg over the bar on a boy’s bike?

    I live in the Mission district in San Francisco, so I see these fggts on the daily…. though they are a bit dirtier (not as dirty as Oakland hipsters, of course) down here.

  6. chewbakka says:

    Well being Mexican thy have people over there that they call “fresas”, which is fruity. To my understanding fresa doesn’t literally mean you’re a fggt but implies that you think you’re better than everyone else and therefore you ARE a fggt for that. They also tend to dress preppy as phuck, maybe as of late they’re dressing hipster-ish.

  7. hgsg says:

    yuck, man. this photo looks like it’s from the sartorialist or something. that dude needs like 1000 wedgies.

  8. o. srsly says:

    dude. i live in SF. 80% of the people here look like this (the other 20% being rapists/grifters/poors that live in the Tenderloin and Bayview). I am pretty sure the only reason dudes dress like this is to appeal more desirable/ safe/ meaningful to girls who read Vice and listen to horrible garage rock. If girls are gonna snowflake (via needs to be individuals/ distance themselves from their “old embarrassing selves”), then guys are gonna snowflake (via teh need 2 bone).

  9. surewhynot says:

    I always wonder how the people behind the counter at discount clothing stores think when dudes like this come in and buy used women’s jeggings.

  10. Bonz says:

    It’s called White Guilt. It dominates everything; from the music they listen to to the blogs they read (Jezebel). “Intelligent” white males have been told they should be beta pussies, otherwise they’re racist, homophobic, ignorant conservatives. The way out is to become a total fggt.

    • Neon Jesus says:

      ^This.

      Then you do have the other side that take it to the other extreme and try to dress as ‘tough’ as possible are just d-bags to everyone at shows. When the two get together its pretty funny though. Stray From the Path show I went to the other night was like that. It was a mixture of hipster garbage like above and wannabe tough guys that got pissed if you touched them while moshing, but it was perfectly ok if they clocked you in the back of the head while they did their ‘dancing’ as they like to call it. I remember when hardcore dancing had actual moves involved as opposed to just randomly flailing around.

      • Chuck says:

        This must have been sometime in the 90′s, I’ve gone to shows since 01 and all I’ve ever seen/done is random flailing :)

  11. cougar party says:

    I feel like this fashion has really run it’s course and has to be close to dying off. People started doing this because of their need to be special snowflakes, but now this has become basically a mainstream trend; which is exactly what they are trying to avoid. Here’s to hoping 2012 is the end of this foolishness. I wonder what the snowflakes will latch onto next?

  12. sweatdripsfrommyballs says:

    Well in certain poorer parts of South East Asia, men do ride girly bicycles, but they probably don’t have much of a choice, I’ve seen a few growing up in Malaysia, feelsbadman. The varsity jacket isnt bad per say, but I just can’t stant the matching blue skinny jeans.

  13. King Krakken says:

    All this said, I would love to see SYWH commenters dressed up like this/replicating this photo.

  14. …I just like dressing like a girl. Really, no reason other than endorphin release upon seeing myself in the mirror. I haven’t dressed to look cool for other people in a long time.

    Also nearly all my fggty clothing is either from target or india, no fucks given. I’m not paying over 10-15 bucks for an article of clothing unless I’m sure it’s gonna last me for at least half a decade.

    I don’t think I’ll ever understand people who pay out the ass to look like they’re poor.

    • o. srsly says:

      spending a shit-ton of cash is a small price to pay in order to avoid shopping at places full of depressing poor ppl

  15. Walker says:

    This style has basically just become mainstream where I live, and it is really sad. One thing that is super popular right now is for men to wear hats that can best be described as “Amish-looking”, so there are tons of dudes running around that look like Amish hipsters. Feelsbadman

  16. wlfblnkt says:

    Not sure if mentally retard, or hipster.

  17. AXERIPPERX says:

    I don’t really get it, I don’t think he looks bad at all.

  18. i was guilty of this from 2002-2004. :(

  19. philbasa says:

    I’ve been noticing a ton of mexibros with 50s dad haircuts and smiths shirts. Faggotry transcends race.

  20. Manualdad says:

    HAHAHAhaaa…. I looked at this picture and thought “this dude looks like every single kid in downtown Copenhagen”. Well, reverse image search, and obviously, the guy is a dane (via we are all fucking looking alike. Really). The picture is originally from http://thelocals.dk/category/places/copenhagen/ (some fashionblog from CPH, notice how they all look alike), but was taken down for some reason. It was also posted at ‘GQ’: http://www.gq.com/style/blogs/the-gq-eye/2010/03/batter-up.html). I even recognize the place the shot was taken, it’s here:http://g.co/maps/4fnwj — in downtown cph, right next to the Uni buildings. If I could find his name, I’d bet we’d have mutual friends on facebook :(

    You would all die from straight rageahol overdose within 30 secs of being in CPH. COME AT US!

  21. Manualdad says:

    :(

    we try so hard to be unique snowflakes, yet you judge us as if we were all the same?!??!?!!??

  22. dave texas says:

    as a person of filipino descent, i can attest to the fact that some of us also want to be seen as special. only, my peoples tend to do it by pretending that we’re black and get super into shitty hip-hop and breakdancing.

  23. grymboner says:

    D, no one hates hipsters more than I and I’ve made many friends and (ex) girlfriends over this strong hatred.

    HOWEVER, since you have shown me the light of being chill as fuck as much as possible (via not having excessively public strong opinions about everything), I’ve made an interesting observation that may warrant further investigation.

    There are legit weirdos (who are awesome) and there are faggots (aka Hipsters). I’ve conversed and even been acquaintances with a few legit weirdos who dress like the posted faggot and I have to say that they are pretty cool. Maybe they do it for the same reason as the special snowflakes but they don’t make a big deal out of it.

    But then again, hipsters dress like this, think they are better than everyone else and generally should be put down.

    I don’t know what my point is…I guess it’s a fine line between weirdo and faggot?

  24. Godeye says:

    Srs question: Why do hipsters like fixed-gear bikes so much?

    • Sergeant D says:

      Same reason they like Polaroids: they aren’t what everybody else uses, yet you can make it sound like ‘you really know what you’re talking about’ by explaining why they are actually better than what other people like.

      • o. srsly says:

        can’t 4get about the “vinyl purists”!

        • Void Eater says:

          Analog Warmth brah. Whatever that means.

        • Jonnyfilth says:

          Ultimate in fucking gay hipsterism:
          The Arcade Fire (gross) recorded their latest album in a high quality studio, pressed it to vinyl, and then RECORDED THE SOUND COMING FROM THE VINYL and pressed that to CD, so that their CD’s would have that “authentic vinyl sound”.

          Rageahol anybody? My shout.

      • Godeye says:

        I guess I’ll just humor them and pretend riding bikes without any brakes is really a good idea. With any luck, they’ll be flushed out of the gene pool eventually.

  25. nochance says:

    i think, after all this time and exposure to hipsterism, id still rather see white people try hard to be special white than try hard to be generic black. maybe it’s because i know if i really wanted to, i could beat the shit out of a hipster without fear of being bladed. also, theyre a quiter kind of annoyance. i dunno, it’s all just notches along the ‘just fucking die already’ spectrum.

  26. derpderp says:

    your starting to choke on your own irony sywh

  27. Latinoheat! says:

    I member seeing one of these white hipster douch ffgts w/ a friend @ a wannabe Rubys diner in DT el-lay n I immediately start making fun of my friend that had the mandatory flannel shirt and I immediately start bagging on said friend by saying he buys all his shit @ stereotypical hipster mall shops/boutiques… previously seen hipster douche was w/ a 6.5 to 7 skinny hipster chick w/ mandatory flower/plant sleeve on left arm to make her a Spesh Snowie… Even she started laughing.. he ended up leaving w/ her a few minutes after I started making fun of the hipsterness of my mexi-salvi mutt homie.. the point is of how funny these ffgts get butthurt when u make fun of em yet can’t do shit cuz their own anorexic gfs can beat em up Lolz…
    PS: yes even dumb ghetto ignorant brown people like shopping 4 tight ass diesel jeans and shitty hipster clothes to pretend they are from the suburbs and not from south gate/compton/east la/ insert any city or area from the 213-323 area codes full of ghetto brown/black poor people yo…

    PSS: but I thought all the faggts in norcal lived in SF.. Oh well I’ll prob be more at comfort w/ the OTWs n raider fans in Oakland even tho they sux more balls than Tim tebow @ a Creed/nickelback concert

    • Sergeant D says:

      my mexi-salvi mutt homie
      Interesting– brown people also do the “oh i’m a mutt, i’m [combination of interchangeable ethnicities]!!” thing too?? I thought it was just whites.

      • Latinoheat! says:

        haha yup!! were special beans in a bag full of rice, m&ms, skittles, white tic-tacs, n ho-ho’s!!
        =P go figure

  28. Lear says:

    I don’t understand how you can say this dude is a feminine fggt when he has a beard?! Beards are so MANLY!

  29. Wintermute says:

    I was ok with him until I got to the bike, socks and shoes. Gross.

    Here’s a great blog if you want to laugh (or get boners) to NY weirdos.
    http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/streetboners/

  30. ge5undhe17 says:

    OTW readers, do any of your people need to be special snowflakes this badly????

    Sadly, yes.

  31. Jek Porkins says:

    Lol! I wish more of the internet would talk about hipsters!!

  32. VyceVictus says:

    Srs questions:
    How do you fit your wallet properly?
    Where do you keep your phone?
    Isn’t it hard to take out your house keys/dont they press against your thigh?
    Where do you hide your stash that you take to a show?
    Im no more mad than usual since hipsters gonna hip, but I am seriously puzzled by this phenomenon. I sincerely cannot fathom the physics of such tight pants.
    Pls Respond.
    inb4 size50Fubus

  33. BOOM says:

    On a sort of off topic note (didnt know where else to share my rage), this made me cringe so much:
    http://vimeo.com/14220611

    the editing, the people, the clothes. UGH.

  34. J_hunter says:

    122 Comments? Jesus christ you all are so butthurt over what other dudes wear!

  35. Zapato says:

    Replace the word “hipster” every time it appears with “scenekid” and this is basically the attitude SYWH is against, no?

  36. SalviBro says:

    I have nothing against butt pirates but they become unwanted faggots when they try so hard for attention. I mean look at his jeans.. can his dick even breathe? GOD DAMN… plus the female bike isn’t doin him justice… but then again, he homo or a confused-about-sexuality hipster…

  37. SalviBro says:

    I have nothing against butt pirates but they become unwanted faggots when they try so hard for attention. I mean look at his jeans.. can his dick even breathe? GOD DAMN… imagine the crushing pain his nuts must be goin thru… and this would be worse if he really wasnt a homo but a confused-about-sexuality hipster..

  38. jw says:

    I’ve always wondered why they try to look like a vintage 70′s pedophile.

  39. dudeness says:

    hopefully he was hit by a car driven by a successful banker.

  40. Honestabebread says:

    So glad I’m a quarter native American. Makes me safe from doing shit like this. I have a few friends who are legit hipsters except most of them do it out of class. None of them are dirty or nasty. They all have pretty important jobs and just grow Amish beards/wear Amish hats because they think “it looks classy.” They also like chai tea and sushi and shit. Fuck off. You live in America. Drink Bud Light Platinum and eat steak if you wanna feel “fancy.”

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