Fat girl: “I’M NOT FAT!!”

My dad was a corrections officer for 25 years, and I learned a lot from him and his career. For example, when you are dealing with crazy, dramatic people you should always assume that the truth is the exact opposite of what they say. When a guy tells you “I was just minding my own business, and all of a sudden this guy hit me for no reason,” you should hear “I attacked him when he wasn’t looking.” Or if he says “I’m not scared, I’ve got nothing to hide!” you should hear “I’m really scared, because I did a lot of bad shit that I really don’t want you to find out about.”

You may recognize this pattern from such tropes as “I’M SOOO NOT SCENE” (signed, every scene girl) and “I’M NOT LIKE THE OTHER GIRLS” (signed, every girl), usually followed by an elaborate explanation of why ‘you can’t label them.’ The explanation is always flimsy and derpy, but at least they try. On the other hand, this is an example of an incredibly brazen statement that simply contradicts the reality that is obvious to anyone with functioning eyeballs. Sort of like the convict who would say to my dad, “Oh, that picture of me with the bloody knife in my hand standing over the victim’s corpse? Nah, see what happened was…”

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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57 Responses to Fat girl: “I’M NOT FAT!!”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I hate when fat chicks try and act hot :(

  2. Jonnyfilth says:

    http://i44.tinypic.com/34j3ln7.jpg

    Had to screenshot her beautiful face. I think this sums up the entire post very nicely.

  3. YeahNoYeahBrah says:

    Once again, mad props to the family in law enforcement. I rep and support that shit hard. But seriously, Harmony Flashpink? Didn’t realize try hard sceenie girls were still naming themselves. Probably the little sister of the ogre status bish posting nudes of herself and calling it art.

  4. jordanXjordan says:

    What is that “accent” she has? It’s like teeth scraping against a chalkboard. Soundsbadman.

  5. sweatdripsfrommyballs says:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x67jtMPfdTw&ob=av2e at least she can sleep in comfort knowing that a parody hair metal band made a song white knighting “thick” girls like her : )

  6. Void Eater says:

    Gonna be so funny when she shows up and starts commenting here.

  7. Jonnyfilth says:

    Inb4 Thick. Solid. Tight.
    also Inb4 harpooners show up and say DEM TITTIES / WOOD SMASH
    Groce low standard fuckers

  8. Buck Russell says:

    My favorite part was at 42 seconds when she pans down to her fat gut and is like “there’s nothing fat about me,” srsly lol’d. also, dat voice, plz do not respond

    >inb4 “marilyn monroe was a size 12 u fat shaming fuk”

  9. Lionel Richie says:

    them “breasts” don’t count when you fat

  10. JFC Carbomb says:

    when i wore girl pants I was a size 0-3 depending on the brand…. and im not really THAT skinny so a size 12 is like major whale status.

  11. Walker says:

    This is pretty funny but tbh I hope we can soon move on from the “victimizing fatties” era to a new one, because just like the end of the “alpha/beta” era it is getting a little old and teasing fatties on the Internet goes from funny to mean eventually.

    Would like more stories about criminals though, I always like to hear about scumbag antics!

    • Sergeant D says:

      yeah i’m pretty over this kind of stuff too. considered not posting it but couldn’t really pass it up.

      • sweatdripsfrommyballs says:

        Well as much as I complain about SYWH commenters being a too mean at times I think she sorta brought it on her self tbh. I bet theres stuff on her youtube comment section thats probably a million times worst compared to some of the stuff written here.

    • Brrz says:

      I thought the tease was at her lame retort… not her weight

      • Jonnyfilth says:

        This ^
        Pretty sure we’re not just laughing at her for being fat, we’re laughing at her straight up denial of the very obvious truth. Victimising fatties is played out, laughing at idiots who publicly make a fool out of themselves = never not funny.

  12. stealmoneyfordrugs says:

    what a groce and annoying little pig. every bit as obnoxious as jesse slaughter. check out some more of hambone flashfry’s videos. every one is cringeworthy.

    this dude does a good job mocking her:
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Dkb3tTraOI&feature=related

  13. JoeTheRipper says:

    So what you’re telling me is Youtube can remove “offensive” clips of hot chicks showing off their bras, but this hungry hungry hippo can sit here and force me to gouge out my eyeballs?

  14. suchjosh says:

    “please save this video and show it to her in 15 years” SRSLY!!! It would be too easy to set up an elaborate blackmail scheme on so, so many of the neon era scenesters.

    • letthemountainfall says:

      Good idea. Checking my scene friends in high school to see if they left up their myspaces.

      • Anonymous says:

        fuck I wish I remembered my myspace password or the my failed bands myspace password or the email address I used for either

        why cant they delete myspace already?

  15. Dan says:

    It’s Lumpy Space Princess in human form. Woah.

  16. dingdong says:

    Wot r u guize talking about? She isn’t fat. She simply needs to remove the tyre from underneath her top.

    Shut deh fukkk eeeeerp.

  17. Wintermute says:

    Sitting through that was worth getting to this.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=3l6s3j44hg0#!

    • THEFUCKISADJENT says:

      At first I wanted the fat bish dead. Then I saw this bish, and I want her more dead. No body likes a fake, but no body likes the “coach” either.

      Would have died laughing if she had referred to Flashpink as “sport” or “champ”. Honey got pretty close, though.

      That bish really DOES need to shet. the. fekk. up.

    • dingdong says:

      Wow, that was a straight up cunt act.

      Would love somebody put her in her place and ram a cock down her throat.

  18. Save Parker says:

    Would rather date fat girl than insane annoying girl in denial.

    Unless she was in denial about being way hot, which would work out so well.

  19. dr june says:

    i hope everyone realised that including sgt D that this video is from june 2009. we’ve all been silly teenagers (idiots) once.

  20. ge5undhe17 says:

    Mmm, more cushin for the pushin

  21. Dr June says:

    You’re all very quick to post judgement. As a drunk, I forgive you all, but as a regular reader of this blog… I’m sad

  22. Chipster says:

    Hey I’m British, what kind of an accent is that? please respond.

  23. grymboner says:

    Probably would still smash =/

    feelsbadman

  24. hgsg says:

    I like how her youtube page background is almost identical to the old SYWH background.

  25. MasterRobocock says:

    First Step: realise you’re fat

    Second Step: realise you’re lucky cuz’ you can be a fat chick with no tits and we know nothing is more grose than a fat chick without any kind of breast than a fat bitch with a huge pairs….

  26. Too fat to be bro says:

    im not even joking, i would totally do her in the bum and then marry her. does she tumblr or is this strictly jewtube and abandoned myspace? NEED MOAR!!!111

  27. Dandi says:

    Dude you sound like a total bitch. Just because people call you fat doesnt mean you have to rant about it. You try too hard to be “scene”

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