The midget metalcore band AUBURN has a new video

lol @ a grown man wearing a Vanna shirt

One of the basic rules of comedy is “make fun of people for what they DO, not who they are.” In other words, it’s not funny to point at someone in the audience and say “Ha, look how ugly that guy is” or “Look everybody, a retard!” Generally speaking I follow that rule, but sometimes the scene pitches a big, fat slowball right down the middle of the strike zone with bases loaded and you just can’t help but swing at it. For example, this crappy metalcore band called AUBURN, which are best known for having a dwarf guitarist.

However, in this case the fact that there’s a midget in the band is not as noteworthy as how dreadful their new video is. It gives me that same horrible feeling inside as when a stiff, uptight professor suddenly decides to try his hand at humor and you want to hide under your chair because it hurts so bad to watch. SMH @ making a ‘zany, sillee video’ that isn’t funny in the first place and making it even less funny by adding a long-winded explanation in which you explain that you are funny guys:

“As you can tell by this dry, boilerplate quote, we are fun-loving, carefree guys.”

┬áReminds me of the descriptions of movies on the DVR that make everything sound awful, like the one for Jackass that says “A group of nitwits plays practical jokes on each other.”

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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37 Responses to The midget metalcore band AUBURN has a new video

  1. Cholololol says:

    Props for playing guitar with dem tater tot fingers

  2. Wang of thunder says:

    cringeworthy acting and “jokes”

    is the little guy playing a baby guitar? its so precious.

  3. jordanXjordan says:


  4. Postmodern Warfare says:

    O I get it it’s like Scooby Doo that’s pretty funny

  5. Save Parker says:

    I like how every single aspect of anything involved in this video is incredibly poorly thought out.

    But would love to be in a band like this with a midget, the possibilities of next-level stage moves are endless.

  6. da scorn says:

    one of the guys wears a pink shirt and u still make fun of the midget?! u gay for midgets?

  7. Latinoheat!!! says:

    not to be the first ignant Mofo up in dis bitch but cmon Lmfao!!! Midget tossing every fucking night if I was in this band!!! X-D not sherriff I’m the only one singing n humming to Randy fucken Newman’s “short people” when I saw this vid… no fux given … let the hate begin >=D

  8. toast says:

    It’s pretty cool going to a lot of the youtube video’s you’ve been linking lately, and seeing “As seen on: STUFF YOU WILL HATE” just under the likes/dislikes :)

  9. shawnyouwillhate says:

    srs bothers me that the uncle is only 4.5 years older than him.

    they couldn’t find a real old person ?

  10. JoeTheRipper says:

    Most embarrassing part? They’re actually trying to use the midget as a pun throughout the vid.I would quit if I was the little dude.

  11. J. says:

    No homo, but I just have to mention that the little guy has by far the best looks in the band. That akward moment when your midget band member gets all the girls, cuz you look like stupid nerd.

  12. nyk3 says:

    Grown man wearing a Glassjaw shirt in 2012?

  13. Seanzig says:

    The Scooby-Doo treatment was a Scooby-Don’t

  14. 13Enjamin says:

    this is offensively bad

  15. 13Enjamin says:

    it’s kind of unbelievable how awful this is

  16. Void Eater says:

    And they’re not even European… At least if they were Euros it would be slightly less embarrassing.

  17. GoingDeaf? says:

    This is one of those concepts you come up with when completely blasted with your bros…and then quickly dismiss upon becoming sober.

    What happened here?

  18. This band’s career will be short-lived

  19. Jonnyfilth says:

    He even has a little Srscore haircut! And like little miniature scene bandbro clothes! Adorable!!

  20. Octahedron says:

    It was supposed to be funny? What?

  21. Adam says:

    what’s wrong with vanna?

  22. Brassington says:

    I fucking lost it at that comment!


  24. chewbakka says:

    you think he could play an 8 string guitar?

  25. Fazz says:

    lol’d at that last “joke” before the song started. The terrible delivery and content mind fucked me into laughter somehow.

  26. KMFCM says:

    he’s not the singer?!?!!?!?

    doing “novelty act” wrong

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