WHITE KNIGHT CHRONICLES: Letter to the friendzone edition

 

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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58 Responses to WHITE KNIGHT CHRONICLES: Letter to the friendzone edition

  1. Save Parker says:

    Can’t tell if this is a serial killer or just some dude who is going to die alone so hard.

  2. Brodiak says:

    Maybe he can get himself a robo-bish and program it to act like that – ain’t no real woman gonna sit on that pedestal.

    Best case scenario: dude HTFU and starts a christcore band.

  3. Superfist McDeathpunch says:

    sadly, i could probably see myself doing something like this a few years ago, like sophomore year in high school. although i probably would have at least had the sense not to put it on the internet. still, feelsbadman.jpg

    • Sergeant D says:

      It’s not the worst thing to THINK this stuff. But some things should just stay in your head.

      • aaaaaaaa says:

        Yeah I thought this would have been kind of sweet if it was some anonymous message on the internet to be claimed by whoever shared it until the God stuff came on, then it went right into creepy weirdo zone.

  4. myr says:

    “I believe that friendship makes a great foundation of a good relationship”

  5. Sandwiches666 says:

    He will die alone harder than the most lonely person to ever die hard and alone.

  6. jm6g90 says:

    >I hope you can message me sweet nothings

    christ man, be careful what you wish for

  7. Cain says:

    This was almost as painful as that Spoken Word shit somebody posted the other day.

  8. I'm Quall says:

    For whatever reason this reminds me of Robbin Williams also I find him very cringeworthy

  9. logdeezy says:

    That was hard to read.

    I hope you can ride with me.

  10. LOLgoroth says:

    THIS. THIS is awesome. I want more.

  11. Regurgitator says:

    first, i cringed real hard while reading this, second, this guy is a filipino. Why? because he talked about not being John Lloyd or Derek (John Lloyd Cruz/Derek Ramsey) which both are tv/movie/matinee idols here in the Philippines. I feel bad for you my fellow flip brethren. #sadface

    • Sergeant D says:

      lololololol BOOM, he is indeed a flip! A++++

    • Save Parker says:

      Filipino chicks are hot as shit, I understand him a little now. Still inexcusable.

    • Regurgitator says:

      everything that he said was steriotype flip. like mentioning BMW. filipinos think that every luxury car in the world is a BMW. And the Kardashian reference because that show is being shown on our cable tv’s with 10000 replays a day i think. And he exposed himself with the filipino alpha male steriotype reference (john lloyd and derek)..he fell too low..I sad

    • Autodidact says:

      Bro, as soon as I read the name I was like “shit, fggt gonna give all pinoys a bad name.”

    • Kumichou says:

      My best friend from the Philippines was the one who sent this to me. Then I sent it to Sarge cuz I was overdosing in raegahol.

      • Latinoheat!!! says:

        exhibit A against the race whos mothers are chunky nurses but arent fooling anybody in telling that they got houses and mansions back in manila and whos flip male offspring are prolly baklaks n shit

        gtfo you beta flip!!!

        I hope you won’t be safe!!! =/

  12. Dental_Damnation says:

    Good luck w/ ur no car to BMW goals.

  13. Chillin' says:

    They really do need to issue mandatory testosterone checks to some people.

  14. adam says:

    ‘dont worry I like it neat as well’ WTF? Is this some American thing or is this dude legit retard?

    Also, God is ichiban!!

  15. Dan says:

    Wow. That was the most hilarious, most replusive, most beta tl;dr fggty shit I’ve ever seen on SYWH (and that’s saying something…). How can someone go this low? Srsly, they really need to reevaluate their whole life. How has humanity regressed like this? Fucking white people, man :/

  16. JoeTheRipper says:

    “I am not rich”
    All the women lining up to meet this guy parted like Moses telling the Red Sea “MOVE BITCH!”

  17. Socialism Ergalla says:

    Guaranteed first comment on his post: “sup bro you a fggt or wut?”

  18. this guy has the comments says:

    Die Alone With A Vengeance

  19. Chuck says:

    Sometimes, I think that I fucked up my life by going on tour in my early adulthood, which resulted in me being way behind in my career shit or whatever. But then I hang out with some friends of mine who never graduated high school, have no GED, and work at home depot or whatever, and I go “meh, I’m not all that bad.”

    Similarly, I sometimes see myself as the most beta pussy in the world… but then I go on SYWH, where Sarge analyzes specimens such as the above that in comparison make me seem like a ripped 10k/day CEO banging 10/10 jailbait.

    Thanks Sarge, for continually reminding me that I am not the biggest fuckup in the world.

    • Postmodern Warfare says:

      This is why I come here too. Coz I’ve fucked life up and need to know I’m at least not the worst. Thanks SYWH <3

  20. Jonnyfilth says:

    All the evidence points to this:
    Kid is a 15 year old Christian who got born again 6 months ago and is now looking for the princess he’s going to spend the rest of his lief with. he’s been going to youth group every week and learning all about God’s plan for him and how sex is beautiful when it’s with your wife.

  21. HeroinJesus says:

    Even when i was at the peak of my beta/imn/lonley sad fuck days could i have even imagined something like this. Was a painful read for sure, hope this guy’s balls drop some time in the bear future

  22. hankmccain says:

    This makes me want to club a baby seal.

  23. Kumichou says:

    You should see dat one where he was trying to “meet up” with his “first love” and GOT STOOD UP.
    /doublefacepalmforever

  24. dza says:

    too long; read half.

    -’dear future boyfriend’ would be the honest tittle
    -lol at god being his ‘no. 1′ a bitch is really going to go for that. smh…

  25. SKeeterValentine says:

    Troy’s Mixtape of Love in full effect here…

  26. Open Window Maniac says:

    “Dear future girlfriend,
    I’m not perfect, but I expect you to be. Follow these arbitrary rules.”

  27. Christian Jensen says:

    What the fuck… This guy compares himself to THIS:
    http://ph.88db.com/ph/html/lifestyle/images/showbiz/John-Lloyd-Cruz.jpg

    Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with the Philippines, and how ass-ugly must this poor beta be, for THIS to the fucking paragon of male beauty?!

  28. Lionel Richie says:

    Dat grammar and correct paragraphing skill. The kids going to go far when bitches realize he will do their english homework for them and by going far I mean a hug.

    • Alex_P says:

      Haha. Well, at least he has good grammar. Good grammar is basically essential for gettin’ smart bitches. Unfortunately, so is confidence.

      • roflzbiscuitz says:

        This doesn’t mean that they aren’t extremely annoying though. The girls I’ve been involved with who are obsessed with grammar/spelling have all been wicked insecure. They grasped for anything to make themselves feel different or better than other girls. They had no sense of humor, and an extreme lack of sarcasm detectors. I guess reading Sylvia Plath kills all humor. :-\

  29. treeofdoom says:

    This is why the internet is the best invention that man has made. previously he would have written that in a diary where none of could have laughed at how much he is gonna die alone

  30. Anonymous says:

    Dear Future Cat…

  31. Lolazn says:

    He’s azn? How long after he gets his BMW before he wrex?

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