A couple years ago, I learned the hard way that girls are 30-50% less attractive than they appear in their OK Cupid profiles. I ended up on a date with this girl who was really funny, very cool and nice, but unfortunately not anywhere near the 8.5 she appeared to be on OKC. But I learned from Shallow Hal that it’s what’s inside that counts, so I tried really hard to be into her. We went out a couple more times, but no matter how much I told myself that I should be attracted to her, I just couldn’t do it :(
I don’t mind their older stuff, but no breakdowns = not music
This is essentially how I feel about EVERY TIME I DIE, who are the ultimate example of a what you could call a friendzone band: “OMG they’re soooo great… for someone else.” They seem like chill bros, and even though I just can’t get into their music, I totally support them, and I’ll be clapping louder than anyone when they finally find that special someone who doesn’t care what they look like.
That awkward moment when a metalcore band from upstate NY turns into zakkwyldecore :/
The one thing that puzzles me about ETID is why they have the approval of so many IMNs, and why people think of them as a ‘metal’ band in the first place (see also DILLINGER ESCAPE PLAN and DARKEST HOUR). The reason they have my approval is that they’re 90s hardcore dudes like me, which I know because I saw them a bunch of times with sweet bands like 18 Visions, Throwdown, and Candiria. Any veteran of the late 90s moshcore scene is my bro, so regardless of my indifference toward ETID’s music I consider myself a fan (“You would make the BEST boyfriend… for my fat friend!”).
So for the 10 million people on Tumblr who asked me what I think about ETID, there you go!
If Bored Stiff doesn’t = moshing I need to recheck some calculations.
want 2 borrow my abacus, bro?
Feel eggzackly the same. 2 many hackneyed literary references in their lyrics for my taste, but at least they brought the party to the stagnant, uptight-PC hardcore scene.
These guys may be my favourite band ever (or at least top 3)
So glad u like them and are not mean 2 them!!! (srs) They’re hella chill dudes and put on the funnest live show ever. I like to believe that they’re immune to tr00bonic plague.
And they do have some ttly moshable breakdowns, just not in every song.
examples:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1gi_aOe334
The end of this song = punching people
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yc1yi66pY2U
0:33 = best breakdown call ever: HEY THERE, GIRLS, I’M A CUNT!
I am moshing.
ummm, i can’t help but lol at this post.
A+ Post Sarge!
Yeah I must be the fat friend Sarge is talking about because I srsly love this band. One of my favorite bands of all time. Also Ex Lives is the best album of 2012 so far, no fucks given.
The New Black is basically an anti-NFC anthem.
they’re one of my favorite bands, but i can totally get why someone wouldn’t like them. i think theyre so imn approved because imn’s hate most metalcore except for skronk-core and they’ve got skronk levels that are pretty high(but not as high as Norma Jean and SFTP)
The skronk factor is a big part of it, also that theyre fat and have beards (srs).
IF U HAVE NICE HAIR AND TAKE CARE OF UR BODY THAT MEANS U R A POSER WHO ONLY CARES ABOUT UR IMAGE
<3 this band 4eva!
That girls teeth look too big for her mouth and she scares me.
Srs. I hate to be that “2/10 would not bang” guy, but they could have used a better stock photo for this meme.
oh yeah i see why you dont like them: skronkcore + at the drive in parts…id never heard them before, but this band sounds like theyre artfag approved :(
I concur w/ the guy above me….
even tho i could talk shit on this band i wont since im taking the good guy greg approach to lyfe now =]
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/19254332.jpg
never seen anything to indicate that’s the case
and if it is, who fucking cares?
>ETID
>ARTFAG approved
>What?
Sarge, what’s ferretcore? I know you’re a cultural tastemaker now so you can make up whatever subgenres you want and we’ll all start talking about them, but some explanation would be useful – is this like a smelly land-dwelling version of crabcore? Awkward-aging-dudes-from-Buffalo-who-wish they-were-from-Texas-core? Halp!
Ferret is a record label bro
Hah I guess that should have been obvious. Thanks bro.
Ferrets dont smell bad if you get them descented! They still make crappy pets tho IMO
ultimate stoner douchebag pet
How could a stoner survive with a ferret? Ferrets always steal your shit and hide it, I know stoners whose lives would be destroyed by a ferret.
Check out my friend’s glam band Ferrett (not trying to SPAM, his ferret is the “drummer” of the band)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNygrqMeUaE
Choice lyrics include: “she’s your doppelganger, now you’re gonna bang her”
My mates love this band. On record I’ma bit meh on them byt they were great live.
The biggest hint that they are IMN-approved is the fact they are (or were) called mathcore on their wiki page :(
Ferret records, bruh
FLOATER BEST SONG EVR
As a mathcore jerk, I have tried to get into this band over and over again. It’s just not happening.
I’m sorry Every Time I Die. It’s not you, it’s me…
If you can’t at least back this, you hate fun: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C5otNfMIsKo&ob=av2e
Do IMNs like this band though? All the IMNs I know are into only into super obscure Blackened Pagan Funeral Doomcore bands from Scandinavia. Maybe I need new IMN-friends :(
u seem upset that i dont liek your pet band
I don’t think we can be friends anymore based solely on our differences in musical opinion.
In his defense, you also use the phrase “if u dont like this band u dont liek fun” quite often… #exposingurhypocrisy
HEY SARGE WAHT DO YOU THINK OF NAPALM DEATH!? IS BOLT THROWER ALPHA TO LISTEN TO!?!?!? DO U LIEK THE CHARIOT?
idk about Naplam Death and Bolt Thrower I don’t really listen to much 80s music
“Naplam Death” – I lal’d. Both bands are good if you like death metal that intrinsically has the feeling of living in a shitty flat in some industrial city in England where your fingernails never get clean and you can hear your neighbors’ Coronation St. accents through the walls all hours of the day.
Grose, y wood i want that feel
//ஒர ப ண ண ச ல ல ச ச சரத க ம ர ‘ன ன .. எனக க பயங கர ஷ க க .. எப பட ங க இத ..? அட த த அந தப ப ண ண க ட ட சரத க ம ர ஏன ப ட க க த ‘ன ன க ட ட அவர நல ல பண ண வ ர ‘ன ன ச ச .. சரத நல ல ப பண ண வ ர ம . எனக க த த ங க ம ட யல.//athaane atha saraththoda muannal manaiviyo, radhigaavothaane solla mudiyum eppadi intha ponnu solluchchi. Something somewhere wrong.
+1. If only this were true.
If you don’t like ETID, you must be a homosexual
Breaking News, Sarge sick of people asking him about my all time favourite band. This gave me the utmost amount of lolz
love this band. they aren’t really afraid to shit talk other bands which is always awesome.
Didn’t get this band till the latest album. Since then I’m moshing.
Love these dudes. They should be making records like twenty years from now still playing shitty bars to kids who are mad they’re friends ‘don’t get it’. Hopefully I’ll be there in the back with my annoyed wife who wants to dtch on our jetpack leaving me to buy a teleport home.
Then doesn’t even reheat ur dinner-in-a-toothpaste-tube.
Did she light the Video Fire or feed the Virtual Fish?
Dude, why is Zach Galifianakis in the band photo??
Whoa, people have opinions on stuff? I still will never understand why people care what music other people like, and especially why they get bothered if others don’t like the same bands. Just one of those things that goes over my head I guess?
Y U NO LIEK DA SAME STUFF AS ME (AND FOR DA SAME REASONS I LIEK IT)
Exactly. I mean I know people are sometimes stupid about the stuff they like and I get that it happens, but does anyone know why they get that way? Srs don’t understand why they’d choose to act like that. What do they get out of it?
Validation.
whitepplproblems.
Validation.
Assimilation.
ALL OF WHICH ARE AMERICAN DREAMS!
SARGE WAT DO U THINK OF BOLT THROWER PLZ RESPOND
it was a sad day when they were headlining this one tour and BMTH was the co-headliner. BMTH set = packed as fuck and everyone moshin’. ETID set = 20 people in the room…..
This is happens when everyone in your band is fat and bearded
Had eerily similar OKCupid experience(s) just a few months ago =/
this band has always been the epitome of shittyness
Dude, I know. I would probably rather have AIDS, cancer, and diabetes all at the same time while getting an IV of Sunkist pumped through my cock than listen to this band for 3 seconds.
Also, what do they sound like?
applause.wav
That’s a knowing answer to a difficult quesotin
These guys are artfag approved because of the apparent converge worship. Don’t care, they still rule.
This post is EXACTLY how I feel about despised icon
Good call, I have definitely friendzoned that band too. “They’re sooooo fun and technical! Here, let me introduce you to them” *brings fat friend over*
yo etid used to bring the mosh, look at this siqq fuckin mosh and pile on circa HELLFEST 2002 lol i went to this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fx2MeXrp85A&t=2m31s
i put it at 2:31, if the link doesnt work fast forward to there
It’s like Drowningman started playing Wiseblood era COC songs or something. So weak. Why do these bands have singers who sound like chicks? When did acting like a sassy little kid playing rocker dress up take the place of having actual swagger?
The vocals are also my main reason for not being into bands like this – it’s just the punky brattiness I don’t like.
That’s pretty much why I can’t get into bands like Trapped Under Ice or Backtrack or Nails or Black Breath or any of these bands the moshbros love. Fucking hate bratty nasally high vocals.
Def get your point, but
Nails, bratty nasally vocals, wut?
I’m sorry, “Passionate high pitched screeching”.
The main guy from this band (dont remember his name) had a really lulzy article on ap.com about how he hates breathe carolina and people that listen to them.
So he is a butthurt oldfag? That’s disappointing.
The guy makes riding a motorcycle sound boring:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMvHNeFEzmw&feature=relmfu
Also, when did the faux-biker gang shirts become popular?
found it lol
http://www.altpress.com/contributors/entry/give_me_something_to_break._seriously
his butt is in a lot of pain. sad 4 him :(
That’s weird bcz he’s usually down to have fun, he is bros with Skrillex and they did that video where they were like “fuck u 4 hating on Skrilly stop being butthurt fags”
- paraphrased by J. Filth
“…bands whose sound and fashion is flashy and bright with huge fonts designed to sell spontaneously…”
Says the guy whose band logo is an obnoxious giant pink ‘I’.
+1
I thought it was the general consensus that many IMN’s hated these guys via being the lightest band on a metal bill and being the heaviest band on a punk/scene bill. I, personally, love the shit out them. I will be honest and admit that I love them harder because Keith, Jordan, and Andy are genuinely funny guys. I think they walk the line perfectly of being angry old heads while not taking themselves seriously at all.
While I don’t think that every band should be Entombed-worshipping, Southern-fried by way of being from a Northern state, metalcore, I think that the world would be less face-palmy if every band had these dudes’ sense of humor.
Haha I was one of the bros who asked you how you felt about these guys, Sarge. I apologize for adding to the pile. I, correctly, guessed that you would at least be tolerant of them via their chillness and having the “omg, I could totally just be bffs and chill with these solid bros all nite!”-vibe.
So did you tell the OKC girl the real reason you weren’t into her, or what did you say?
One time my IMN friend was telling me about this band and he described their new album as having “the southern metal style of Cancer Bats combined with the technicality of the Dillinger Escape Plan.” That is honestly one of the funniest things I have ever heard
EVERY TIME I’M FRIENDZONED
Got CD signed by em when I was 16. They wrote “Eat pussy” on it :(.
I have now concluded that Sergeant D doesn’t like any of the music that I like…
feelsbadbro.jpg
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The fuck is an IMN?