For whatever reason, people ask me questions about everything from streetwear to their resume to convincing their girl to let them PIITB. I think that’s awesome, because I pretty much never get tired of giving people advice! But hands down, the single most commonly asked question is “DEAR SARJENT D WAT SLAM BANDS SHOULD I LIEK PLS RSPND!!!”
I could just list a bunch of bands, but the truth is that the answer to that question really depends on how much experience you have with the genre– it’s important to take things slowly, or you could end up hurting yourself and others! With that in mind, here’s the four basic TIERS OF SLAM. Where do you rank??
ENTRY LEVEL (SLAM099: Remedial Slam)
It is important to start with the most accessible bands to build your tolerance. I suggest beginners check out proto-slam/NYDM and the slammier br00tal death bands: they’ll ease you into the world of slam without leaving the safe, familiar confines of traditional death metal. This stuff isn’t REALLY slam, but it’s close enough enough to prepare your anus for the real thing.
Suggested Artists: Pyrexia, Suffocation, Internal Bleeding (NYDM); Putrid Pile, Wormed, Defeated Sanity, Guttural Secrete (br00tal death with slammy elements)
INTERMEDIATE LEVEL (Topics In Slam)
If your reaction to the entry level bands was, “this is pretty cool I guess but WHERE IS THE PIT RIFFMENT, BRO??” then you are ready to move on to tr00 slam! But proceed with caution: you’re still learning. My research suggests that the most easily-digestible ‘real’ slam for newcomers is the Russian bands like KATALEPSY and ABOMINABLE PUTRIDITY, most likely because they occasionally border on deathcore and their HM 2-like guitar sound is appealing to metalfags who aren’t quite ready to abandon dinosaur metal. DEVOURMENT are another great choice, thanks to their super catchy, bouncy riffs and polished production (by genre standards).
I don’t personally like this tier of slam all that much. It’s stuck in that awkward “neither here nor there” place where it doesn’t have the charm of old NYDM nor the crushing brutality of the advanced level bands, but it’s the most popular tier of slam from what I can tell. Basically, if someone tells you their favorite slam band is ABOMINABLE PUTRIDITY that’s kind of like saying their favorite hardcore band is HAVE HEART: it doesn’t exactly make them a poser since that’s a more-or-less credible band, but it does tell you their taste level is still relatively undeveloped.
Suggested Artists: Devourment, Human Rejection, Abominable Putridity, Katalepsy, Abnormity
ADVANCED LEVEL (Slam Seminar / independent study in pitt riffment)
When you immediately discard a so-called slam band at the first appearance of tremolo picking, skank beats, or anything resembling a chorus, you are ready to appreciate REAL slam. While it may be tempting to skip right to this tier, I really can’t stress enough how important it is to work your way up to it. The truth is that most people simply aren’t ready for material this advanced, as I’ve learned the hard way over the years!
What I mean is, I used to immediately recommend these bands to anyone who asked me for new slamz, only to be met with gay, weaksauce responses like “IDK I can’t really get into the vocals” or “All the songs sound the same, they’re kind of boring.” That was usually followed by “OK so what are some other bands that sound like Katalepsy?”
Much like snorting a fat line of 99% pure coke would put an inexperienced lightweight in the hospital, advanced level slam is simply too much for most people because it is PURE PITT RIFFMENT! There is absolutely no melody, dynamics, song structure, or anything else that will resemble the comfortable, familiar conventions of highly traditional, rock and roll-based genres like metal and hardcore. Just relentless, crushing SLAMS one after the other, with zero fucks given about “songwriting” or other flowery, pretentious artsiness.
Suggested Artists: Cephalotripsy, Repudilation, Cerebral Incubation, Rest In Gore, Female Nose Breaker
S-RANK (unlocked only by finishing New Slam+ with 101% completion rating when you have a Sweatpants save on your memory card)
Only the most dedicated slam enthusiasts will have the determination its takes to reach S-Rank, staring slackjawed as the boss of pitt riffment bellows “Now you’re ready to see my TRUE FORM!!” and reveals slams so high-level that you thought they were just schoolyard rumors! Even experienced slammers can have trouble appreciating the incredibly advanced-level techniques displayed by these artists. To most, they will just sound like sloppy, underproduced, amateurish garbage… and that’s exactly what they are, yet it is also why they are the most sophisticated, avant-garde auteurs who are pushing the boundaries of the genre into places that few of us can even visualize (srs). Don’t feel bad if your mind is blown, just keep SLAMMING THAT SICKNESS!!
Suggested Artists: Cumbeast, Epicardiectomy, Vulvator, Ezophagothomia (demo ONLY, not their overproduced album- srs), Slamentation
Check DJ TWOSTACKS COMPLETE IDIOT’S GUIDE TO SLAM for extra credit!
This is my favorite post out of all that have graced this site.
I really didnt want to do it (since it’s metal-related), but people ask me so often that o had no choice.
Well I’m not even big on metal or anything, I just absolutely love all terminology associated with slam. Few things provide entertainment in the same way as terms like “pit riffment”. Also actually kind of digging the advanced level slamz, wood record a slam ep on a weekend where all my friends were busy/10.
pip reef mint
Why do you not like posting about metal?
dont like attracting negative, whiny, butthurt faggots
I remember hearing that Pyrexia was a shitty Suffocation clone and avoided checking them out, but that song was fucking sweet. Slammy enough to get ignant to in the pit, but plenty of uptempo moments, and played by “ppl who rly no how 2 play their instruments”. And anybody who hasn’t checked out Short Bus Pileup needs to do so immediately! And Vulvectomy brings some of the sickest slamz known to slamkind. +1 on posting something that I can enjoy less than 10% ironically
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QfwDueDd5Ng
Short bus pile up goes hard, although they don’t have THAT many slams in the songs I have heard from them. Nonetheless 1+ slam rep to you sir!
the reason i love stuff you will hate: the last post was about a band that sounded like forever the sickest kids, then it’s about slamz. thanks for helping me remove my head from my ass and realizing good music is good music, as well as introducing me to many crushing slamz D /brofist.
I still feel like slam and beatdown hardcore are 99% the same thing, just more brass knuckles in one, and more songs about necrophilia in the other
They have nothing to do with each other at all (srs) and dont really even sound similar
Beatdown is the awesome thing that happens when incredibly enthusiastic euro hardcore kids listen to too much Obituary and hip hop.
Slam is still kind of a mystery for me but it definitely doesn’t fit into the previous definition.
this piece i wrote explains the formal elements of slam in excruciating detail, should clear things up:
http://www.metalsucks.net/2011/04/04/deathcore-vs-slam-metal-how-2-tell-them-apart/
and then there is this, if you want to REALLY over-intellectualize it:
http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/2012/02/slamz-and-jerkin-music-separated-at-birth-via-modernism/
oooh thx for the insight
Thinking about it, slam is dubstep-metal. Double awesome.
sort of
if dubstep were only a series of drops with no breaks whatsoever, then it would be similar to slam
also, dubstep has melody
slam got tons of melody, most people just cant hear it!
I just came to the sounds of vulvectomy… TY SYWH <3
Im in between the Devourment and Cephalotripsy level… does Rompeprop count?
Love me some pyrexia too doe…
how about cybergrind/ one-man cyber slams via old school myspace? (Ishitrainbows/Ishitrobots was my fav)
Must work my way up to S-Rank… IDK Y but i think Slam n Grind are one and the same… guess its cuz I always associate pig-screeching vocals to grind n shit… don't know why… does anyone care to debate thee?
PS: faggot holocaust is a nice boner-inducing song but i think the most faggy faggiest faggoty faggots will get annoyed and butthurt at the word FAGGOT in the song "Faggot holocaust"…
PS: I love saying the word faggot…. In case you can't tell it just rolls right off da tongue real cool… can't wait till Emmure or some other ignant mosh band will use "YOU FUCKEN FAGGOT" in a sick mosh song and put in on impact font on merch…
PSS: now as charlie brown would say, " I'm the black zorro you dirty spics!!!"
peace cabrones.. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STjjwHFW5jY
shouts out 2 iamerror
Indeed. It seems that most people who aren’t into grind or slam think they are the same. Fair enough, they both have blasty parts, just you don’t hear too many breakdowns in grind, and not too many grind bands I have heard have brees in them, but generally I listen to the punkier grind.
Mikey Hood (of the Hoods http://youtu.be/d6X3grJcF8s ) loves to berate the crowd @ shows w’ faggot-this-faggot-that, which gets even funnier when they play Gilman.
New pyrexia cd this year! I can’t wait because Age of the wicked ruled, Shit, all 3 of their full lengths are awesome. 7 H. Target has released the best slam/b00tal death metal cd of the year so far. DEM RUSSIANS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zRgP1KxHcjo
Thank you for the informative post, you are good and lovely. What do you think of Pathology? My friend says they are “the best slam metal band out” but idk.
not slam at all
Been stuck on Devourment and Internal Bleeding the last few weeks via Sarge’s Metal Inqusition article on Slam. I’ve been waiting for this article to happen.
You pretty much nailed it my man
hey matt
come at me with the euro slams bro
Where did Artery Eruption steal their album artwork from? I hate it when a band has siq album covers but I’m not really into the music(looking at u Iron Maiden and Slayer) :(
I like how the vocals sometimes sound like the “robot fart” noises I associate with dub-step.
Biggest lolz @ that S.L.A.M. acronym up the top!!!
Also “with zero fucks given about “songwriting” or other flowery, pretentious artsiness.”
LOL. brilliant post.
Defend troo S.O.L.G.A.M.N.
I’d put Abominable Putridity is entry level, good band but every deathcore kid out loves them so yeah…
Exactly
Not to be a Critical Christopher, but Cumbeast actually seems pretty accessible to slam newcomers. They actually barely seem like slam other than the vocals. It sounds like Lamb of Gawd riffs mixed with weaksauce pseudo-slamz. Maybe I jumped too far ahead and just don’t get it:(
I’ll let you know if i have anymore hairs that need splitting
:(
hahahaha i was wondering too as i recommended cumbeats to D a few months ago as awsome slam but got response “this not slam! derp!”…awsome…
alzheimer on the way XD
Cumbeats
Da Scorn proving he is an Euro
Does Torsofuck count as slam? I remember digging that shit in high school.
Where you chewing gum while writing this post serge!
Sarge what’s with all dis background noise and why are u breathing so heavily pls respond!
I PREETY SHUR I HERD SITAR
This! +1
guys let’s not confuse one eastern european/texan shithole genre with another.
shit like torsofuck/rompepromp/cbt = pornogrind
I heard some tremolo picking in the Infertile Surrogacy jam are they still OK to listen to? Pls respond
I’ve been into Cumbeast longer than any person should be into Cumbeast
This post was beautiful written and very accurate. I do have one gripe with Asian Slam not being mentioned doe- Gorevent, Vomit Remnants and Infernal Revulsion go very very hard with the pit riffment, I would say intermediate to advance? IDK.
Also am I the only one that is beyond stoked for some new ‘tripsy slams??
I got into slam via gorevent and infernal revulsion, on reflection I think maybe cause they are kind of on the slower side so allows for more linear riffment. Also IR has that song where they play one chord that is in the same key as the previous note #controversial.
great bands doe. amongst my favs.
Infernal Revulsion are sweet, but if they are slam, they’re definitely on the entry-level side of it. Could be wrong but I think they use a fair amount of tremolo picking?
Ah, the old “Y U NO INCLUDE BAND X?!”
Anyhow, those bands are all sweet, and I did include Rest In Gore to represent JPDM
wow, not trying to be “that guy” ha, but not my fault u forgot VOM-REM bro, makes me wanna throw zem hammers at all the slam BBQ’s i will be attending this summer.
brb making sure to include everybody’s pet band in every genre i mention
r u mad at me bro? Plz dont be, just like talking about slam since every other person i talk to h8 it.
sorry, my butt gets hurt sometimes about the whole “WHAT ABOUT BAND X??!” thing. My bad ♥
ONYX bro, u totally left them out for some reason.
http://youtu.be/7ADgCeYJMN4
original joke is original
What would a slamz post be without “the Onyx joke” c’mon.
As a former imn who used to lurk the cesspool of the Internet known as the devourment forum (only a few cool guys on there), I have been heavily exposed to absurd amounts of s-rank slam bands like Awaiting the autopsy, Cystic dysentery, vomitous, Human mastication, down from the wound, Inhuman dissilency, intestinal alien reflux, the list goes on. IMO devourment is really the only band that I can thoroughly enjoy without getting bored, I totally “get” what the most extreme bands in this genre are going for and from time to time even enjoy some of the better bands like vomitous( surgical abominations will have u mawshing) but slam really is an acquired taste and definately not for everyone. Another thing I love about slam is that it is pretty much reviled by the nerdy prog fags and tr00 met4lh3adz
Sick post bro. Makes me realize what an entry level faggot poser I am. Lots of work to do!
By work I mean using my PC to download these slam artists from Napster, transferring them to my Archos MP3 player, listening to them daily on the commute to and from my office, and hoping my clients don’t somehow know I just listened to a song about forcible late-term abortionectomyment.
abortionectomyment
This NEEDS to be a band name!
i lol’d a lil too hard @ the titles for the tiers. brb, hoping to become a placement candidate at the SYWH Institute of Higher Slamentation.
Sr Fellow at the Pit Riffment Foundation
Chief Slamentician at the SYWH Institute of Guttural Research
Love it when sarge takes us to school. Don’t forget to take part in the advanced study group led by our boy Shiv!
http://www.nocleansinging.com/2012/04/15/the-sweatpants-mosh-update-no-2/
Will I still have time to lift if I take these classes. Please respond
If you’re not lifting during these classes, then you’d better be half-drunk with a microwave burrito in your hand
What u tihnk about Katalepsy’s newer stuff. The riffs are groovy as fuck but a lot of the vocals sound like Florida death metal-style vocals. I hadn’t checked anything of their’s out other than Musick Brings Injuries until the other day and it blew my ass off.
That first sentence is a question! Forgive my poor punctuation!
> resembles “real metal”
> do not want
I’m scared to skip ahead :(
How do I know if I’m ready for S-Rank????
I started out at S-Rank without going through entry-level, intermediate, and advanced stages first. BIG MISTEAK!
I’m ashamed of how little of this I’ve heard. I’ve seen most of the entry level stuff (Wormed and Defeated Sanity kick ass) and Devourment is awesome. Most of the slam I listen to is the techier stuff that’s one sweep pick away from being regular death metal.
What do those dudes at slam minded mean when they talk about funeral slams? Like a Finnish Doom Slam or something? Why do I envision a monster truck roaring out of a grave when I read it?
slam with some dark melodly in it…death metal influence!…listen to new chrodotomy for ex…Heaven shall burn slam, 15 tone slam…
BTW, how DO you get your girlfriend to PIITB??????
PLz Respond and will respond with pics
How about “Now that’s what I call slam vol. 2″?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUkw-fGnMuc im hardly an expert on slam, but check out INGESTED. some of the best wigger slam evar
Dat top comment tho
(Also, this band would be 10x sicker if they had worse production. Just saying.)
Audible lyrics?
NOT SLAM.
lets call it slamcore ;)! I first missed the gutturals too but it instinctivly went into my slam folder!
more gangshouts in slam!!
Inspired to make my own slamz! (srs, expect a song or two to be done over the weekend, probably in the course of one afternoon)
for all the people wanting more slam but not knowing where to get it (beginner to elite tier slam):
7H. Target
Abnormity
Abominable Putridity
Acranius
Amputated
Artery Eruption
Begging for Incest
Bodysnatch
Bowling for Columbine
Cemetary Rapist
Cenotaph
Cephalic Impurity
Cephalotripsy
Cerebral Bore
Cerebral Effusion
Cerebral Incubation
Chordotomy
Cinerary
Clitoridus Invaginatus
Condemned
Cranial Osteotomy
Cropment
Cumbeast
Dark Prison Massacre
Defeated Sanity
Degrade
Dehumanized
Devourment
Disarticulating Extinguishment
Disconformity
Disfiguring the Godess
Dain of Impurity
Dripping
DrowningIn Phemaldehyde
Encephalotpathy
Ezophagothomia
Female Nosebreaker
Fumes of Decay
Gortuary
Gory Delivery
Guttural Engorgement
Guttural Screte
Human Mincer
Human Rejection
Infantiphagia
Infernal Revulsion
Ingested
Inhuman Dissilency Vomitous
Katalepsy
Kraanium
Orchidectomy
Pathology
Pighead
Prophecy
Pus Vomit
Repudilation
Rest In Gore
Sect of Execration
Short Bus Pile Up
Soils of Fate
Stabwound
The Gurchick Tree
Torture The Mass
Trenchhead
Turbidity
Visceral Disgorge
Vomit Remnants
Vomit the Soul
Vomitous
Waking the Cadaver
lots of it got quiet some brutal death in it, cause i love slams slamming more slams but also like a tremolo here and there between the slams…
its a slamology !
FYI these anons are all Da Scorn replying to himself
all!!! XD 1 self reply but whatever dude, butthurt more XD
NOW 18 the Slam edition
thank you lots
Female Nose Breaker >>>>>>>>>
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