Neal Brennan made the brilliant observation that stupid people are always complaining about physical sensations: “My back hurts,” “It’s hot out,” “I’m itchy,” etc (see also: women). Another sign that you’re dealing with a retard is when a person won’t shut up about the city they are from, as though it’s some kind of fucking accomplishment that they born in a given zipcode. And when it comes to bragging about the city you happened to grow up in, nobody does it more often and more obnoxiously than people from Boston!
This holds true for their hardcore bands as well, with the latest (and definitely most embarrassing) example being a new song from the fossilcore band DYS. For those under 40, DYS were an early 80s sxe band that was pretty awesome in a “derpy 14 year olds who had no fucking idea what they were doing and accidentally ended up playing sweet thrashy hardcore” kind of way, then turned into really really REALLY bad bar rock before they broke up. Apparently they are playing again, and in typical Boston fashion wrote a song about (what else) Boston. Notes:
- I feel like there is an inverse relationship between how much people boast about being from a given city and how cool the city actually is. For example, has a band EVER written a song about being from Seattle, Denver or Santa Barbara? Yet think of all the assholes who take every opportunity possible to brag about being from shitholes like Oakland, Boston, Philly and New York.
- MY GOD THIS COOLDAD GEAR: Dave Smalley’s miniature beanie and white motorcycle jacket from Wilson’s leather, the bassist’s fedora, and p sure I saw a chain wallet in there somewhere
- Namechecking Aerosmith :/
- 1:45 that awkward moment when he makes a ‘Boston terrier’ face and actually looks like one thanks to his jowels
- Why do they have 3 Marshall heads at a venue that looks like it holds 150 people?
- In b4 someone who lives in Boston recognizes one of these guys because he came to fix their water heater the other day
How long did you make it into this video before hitting ctrl + W out of vicarious shame??