Life lessons from ABACABB (srs)

I’m p sure I have a curse on me. But not a cool one where a corpse rises from the grave and chases me, or I can see people’s dreams or whatever: my curse is that every time I get on an airplane, the person next to me is deathly ill with a fucking wet, hacking cough. I get sick easily when I travel, so the whole time I’m on the plane I am just thinking about how badly I want to stab this asshole every time they cough their grose germs on me, but there’s nothing I can do because I’m stuck next to them for 5 more hours so all I can do is hope they don’t infect me with mouth AIDS.

When you are surrounded by diseased people, it’s only a matter of time before they infect you with their sickness. Maybe your immune system will resist it for a while, but sooner or later you’ll come down with something, which is why it’s so fucking annoying to sit next to the sick person on the airplane. I was jamming this ABCABB song in the gym one day when I realized that negativity is also an infection: when you are surrounded by negative people, it’s only a matter of time before you get infected by them.

Nobody is saying it but everyone is thinking it / Nobody is saying it but everyone is sick of that shit / Get fucked!

This is what people don’t understand when they’re like “SARJENT D U SHOULDNT LET DA FANS RUIN [BAND/GENRE X] FOR YOU,,, UR IN THE NO FUN CLUB.” But that’s like telling someone “u shouldn’t let that vagrant’s dripping wound give you herpes, don’t let him control u liek dat.” It’s not a choice, they WILL eventually infect you no matter what. This is why I quit doing my old metal blog. The comments became full of negativity, and although I tried to ignore them, eventually the constant stream of anger and butthurt got to me and I had to pull the plug before I got infected. When surrounded by people who are infected with negativity, don’t get mad, don’t try to change them, just GTFO!

It’s the same reason I p much only go to Tumblrcore/Warped Tour/mallcore shows these days: the kids there are awesome to be around because instead of being cynical assholes standing around with their arms folded and talking shit on everything, they’re losing their minds, singing along to all the words, and just being generally awesome. It’s also why I srs really appreciate the commenters on SYWH. There’s the occasional butthurt fggt, but for the most part it’s an oasis of awesome, chill bros who are also really smart, really funny and also tell me when I’m being negative and/or need to apply ointment to my butt (no WK). It’s hard to believe that there are this many people on the internet who aren’t faggots, but I think it’s pretty awesome and I srs heart u all. Sorry if this was too heartfelt/ghey but it had to be said

TL;DR version:

  • deathcore changes lives
  • disregard negative fggt imbeciles, acquire positive circle of friends

About Sergeant D

I was like yeah ok whatever
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122 Responses to Life lessons from ABACABB (srs)

  1. grymboner says:

    Probably the most important lesson you can learn in life along with treat the sluts like sluts and princesses like princesses (srs).

  2. Captain Tohm says:

    MetalSucks used to be the only blog I checked daily. I hated everything, including myself for liking Suiside Silense and felt weird for pumping iron. Now, SYWH is the only blog I check daily, I shamelessly rock my slim fit Chelsea Grin shirts, bench 260 and all my friends (and my girlfriend) like me wayyyy more cause I’m way less of an elitist douche. Thanks Sgt. D!
    \•/

    • Dan says:

      I used to think there was something wrong with me for liking easycore, Abandon All Ships, and Attack Attack, but after I found SYWH, I realized the ones hating were the butthurt metal losers. Now I listen to whatever I want, no shame. Thanks Sgt. D <3

    • saywhat says:

      the funny thing about metal ‘elitists’ is that they are super defensive and haughty about something that’s basically a pile of shit, just like how white supremacists are almost always skinnyfat rednecks. The white race isn’t worth being elitist about and neither is shitty techdeath.

    • Briggzy says:

      same though, i used to be into metalsucks now im not. Made liking fun stuff a guilty pleasure and tricking me into thinking shitty old people metal was something i should like :((

  3. Nils says:

    Thanks. Luv u 2 bro.

  4. adam ryan says:

    no joke that is why i love being an american in germany. even though the euros lowl factor is very high, their shows are full of positive energy, 90% of them are drunk, and a there is general sense of no fucks given just wanna mosh and buy merch vibe.

    no lame crews, stand off-ish vibe, and the only time there is a fight is when its to rid the place of some drunk slob who’s doing summersaults in da pit.

    • pl says:

      do you mean most people are sober at american show ?

      • VyceVictus says:

        More like In America drinking is an excuse to be a belligerent asshole, whereas in euroland and The Reich specifically, a 0.1 BAC is par for course and everyone knows how to handle themselves.

  5. JoeTheRipper says:

    This, I used to bum around all the metal blogs, but now I’m here, and I don’t even like hardcore. U guise are awesome, but I’m scared I might catch ur positivity like u explained. If ppl start thinking I’m happy nd enjoy life and stuff, I’ll lose my trve kvlt status :( I worked the bare minimum to get that

    • anon says:

      i, too, listen to 0 easycore, pop, and rap. I do love deathcore and slamz plus the posts on the stuff i dont like are informative and fun anyway so no biggie

      also serg, this was totally gay <3

    • Latinoheat!!! says:

      same here in my hatred for hxc (the new 00s kind not the kickass 80s kind from that famous book that that one guy did that turned up into that one documentary movie brah) but coming to this site has changed me for the better just like my ascension from the ghetto city life to the chill yet still somewhat elitist middle class suburbs… 5 bux says that if i was still back in negative narrow-minded land i wouldve been another statistic but now thx to SYWH I no longer hold music as an elitist snob and have now become positive…. positive things will happen to positive people

  6. thedevilelectric says:

    <3 u Sarge (no homo)

    Wood bro down w/ u if you were 18-25 and enjoyed going to Balance and Composure shows.

    • F-Jay says:

      I must look them up everytime anyone mentions that band, cuz i have to remind myself that band whith such a cool metalcore name is actually emo-wusses. :/

    • Sergeant D says:

      i am over 25 and i’ve never heard of that band. Picturing a friend-rejection letter from you:

      “Thank you for your offer to bro down with the devilelectric. At this time, no broing down opportunities that match your background, but we will retain your information for future reference.”

  7. Jonnyfilth says:

    It’s a scientific fact.
    Butthurt is a contagious disease.
    Caused by faggotry, which is incurable.

  8. stonewall says:

    Disregard rhinovirus, acquire Airborne. The tube also doubles as a great butt desensitizer.

    • JoeTheRipper says:

      Not to be a dick bro, but I’ve got something dickish needs sayin: that Airborne stuff is a joke, its just a vit C overdose. You’d get the same “protection” from chugging a gallon of oj (srs)

  9. Connor Arbiter says:

    hug my but

  10. mcbites to go says:

    Positive thoughts and positive deeds, these are the things that makes the seed.

  11. Bronson says:

    While theoretically, you shouldn’t let stupid people with annoyingly strong opinions bother you that much, practically speaking, it’s very difficult to plug your ears and go “la-la-la” when you are being besieged by fggts every time you get on the internet. Honestly, it’s for this reason that I’m thinking about quietly shutting down my FB account (where you REALLY have no choice but to listen to everyone’s dumb opinion about everything, lest you hide everybody….plus, Tumblr condenses most of the lols, pr0n, and social networking I need into one spot).

    Don’t let the h8rs that aren’t good ennough 4 u get u down #teamdontneedaman

  12. 665.99999999 says:

    posts like this make me wish i had SYWH in high school. -sigh- at least this generation has blogs like this to steer them clear of douchenozzle beta fggtry

  13. Charlie Brown says:

    I’ve always said the last stage in me shedding all my butt hurt/negativity is to get rid of my stupid friends. Is this true logic or should I try to change these people in to non-butt hurt fagits? Also, how does one bring up the idea of butt hurt or try to change them without seeming lyk fagot?

    • Bronson says:

      Imo if your friends are acting shitty and it bums you out to be around them, you should probably just try to find new friends. Either that, or accept that they are who they are and tolerate it. Either way, trying to explain to them directly how they are being butthurt and annoying seems like a recipe for your friends thinking you’re being a too-cool faggot. Diversify your friend portfolio, brah!

      • Charlie Brown says:

        They are cool dudes, with the exception of them thinking they are better than everyone though and that their taste in everything is 100% correct. I guess my biggest problem w them is that they are not very social when we go out(usually due to them being on all kinds of drugs and alcohol) and not very motivated at working out/life. Kinda brings me down because I love to go out and mix it up with peeps and have become super motivated at life and working out. I still get fucked up on the reg, which is always fun to do with them, but I still think that if they were more motivated and outgoing it would propel my life to higher places. Problem is, where do I find motivated, social bros who loved to get fucked up outside of SYWH? :(

        • Charlie Brown says:

          We need to start a bro-mance networking site! (not srs)

          • Sergeant D says:

            wood become a premium subscriber/10

          • Bronson says:

            Srsly have thought about posting on the SYWH forums about relevant shows that I will be attending, in the event anybody wants to meet up/bro down/lol @ teenagers, but I’m not sure if anybody would wanna go for it. Breaking the 3rd wall of the internet can be a little unnerving, but I think it would be awesome to carry the chill bro vibes of this website into the real world (as well as actually having people to go to Warped Tour with).

      • Sergeant D says:

        I agree with Bronson: there is no point in trying to change other people, because it doesn’t work and it just pisses them off. Not saying you have to write them off altogether, but try hanging out with some more positive people and I bet you will be a happier person!

        • Charlie Brown says:

          You guys are totally right. I meant to give bronson some love earlier but I forgot what I am doing because trying to hide the fact that i am wasting my bosses money/10. I was doing a good job of that kinda stuff when I was in my post-break up phase a few months ago. Now I’ve just gotten lazy. I just end up following my friends again and smoking a j and then being a void at the bar. Not good.

  14. Someguyinavan says:

    I learned long ago that no matter the butthurt, just jerk off. Makes life much happier.

    • BLEH! says:

      Eventually you will need the butthurt in order to get your wank on.
      This is how bros get on some proper twink sub shit. Stay strong.

  15. eurotrash says:

    Would talk girls and marketing with you into the wee hours over a bottle of Glenmorangie blasting Krazytown until almost passing out and then say you can crash on the couch bro.

  16. Sarge Sacrament says:

    “this was posted in: eat pray love”

    *slow clap*

  17. j.rya says:

    abacabb ruled. pretty sure “no wk” is the new “no homo”

    • Sergeant D says:

      Nothing wrong with being an homo, so the disclaimer feels unnecessary. Being a white knight, on the other hand…

      • Latinoheat!!! says:

        i concur.. there are cool faggets, chill faggots, annoying fagets, flaming fagz, twink faggetz, bear fagz, beer fags, harley faggots, IMN faggots, hxc faggots, and more… nothing wrong w/ bros who like da cock but still wanna watch some good ol fashion sports w/ sum beers n bro down but…. double-U Kay-ers on the other hand are the reason why faggot bands like the wonder years exist…

        betcha there are some chill fagz that read SYWH down in castro street and west hollywood fo sho….

        but i digress back to the main topic of positivity =]

  18. SYWH is my way out of my old IMN ways. I am nowhere near the end of the long, hard road out it, but I hope that with the help of u guise, I will one sweet day have the ability.

    Luv u D, and bros <3

  19. Save Parker says:

    Negativity is like herpes, once you get you probably got it for life, and just gotta do your best to cover those break outs.

    If only there was a cure for herpes, but at least we have positivity to cure all this sad bullshit.

    • TLDR says:

      It’s true, I’ve been negative my whole life and will probably never change. My new years resolution in 2008 was never to try to be happy again (srs)

      That being said, I <3 SYWH and people can be positive if they want to, its a free country do whatever you want

  20. Dan says:

    Posi things happen to posi brahs.

  21. Void Eater says:

    uve got 2 hav a positive vibration

  22. meer says:

    you are allowed to become a negative and miserable faggot only in two circumstances: a) going through a harsh breakup b) losing a loved one. if you re constantly bitching about stuff then expect your friends to walk out of the exit door (although trve bros will try to set you straight before they gtfo)

  23. Internet Metal Nerd says:

    brb scrobbeling opeth while listening whitechapel from yotube.

  24. VyceVictus says:

    Echoing he sentiments of former IMNs.
    One thing I’m particularly happy about is that we bridged racial boundaries by enjoying/making fun of each others racial foolishness without any contempt i.e. Mike Cheese rap posts, jerkin, Ignorant rap etc. I met so many cool OTB dudes on SYWH that I probably would have totally avoided otherwise since, as was evidenced by the forum pics, most of you are skinny scene lookin white dudes. This is what progress is all about, and it’s all thanks to the internet (Super srs). You guys are awesome. Sincere thanks to you all and Sgt D for the positivity.

    • TLDR says:

      SYWH: promoting harmonious diversity through political incorrectness and racial insensitivity since 2009.

    • Sergeant D says:

      srs response: i think there are two kinds of racial humor:

      1. Hateful ones that are a product of ignorance. These are not funny and just create more hate.
      2. Jokes that make fun of a specific aspect of a race/culture that can only be understood or made by someone with a relatively nuanced understanding of the race/culture in question (eg, calling Argentines rich white pussies). These are almost always hilarious, and are srs the best vehicle for bridging racial boundaries, because its a fun way to learn about/demystify other cultures. Chappelle Show is probably the best example of this, which I think did more to further ‘race relations’ than anything else in the past 10+ years.

  25. jorbams says:

    There is Shining elevator scene-levels of posi, “luv u, bro” cum flowing around this comment section and I love it.

    Sarge, disregard current place of employment, acquire job as lief coach.

  26. Totala Mad says:

    Posts like these is why I regularly check up on this site (srs)

  27. illstabyou says:

    A+ post! The first thing on SYWH that I actually bookmarked. I usually just Google search.

    Related side note, I quit my last job (in a completely professional fashion, of course), because I was starting to catch on to their negativity.

  28. Yup says:

    Sarge, u don’t wana get DAUN WIT DA SIKNISS

  29. Sven_McSven says:

    Damn swell post Sarge, A+++++

    U always know how to brighten up my day (no homo)

  30. beholdthesharktopus says:

    I feel like this is the alcoholic’s anonymous for butthurt. “Hi, I’m Austin, and I’ve been free of butthurt for a year and a half now. I totally lift and don’t care about the new Six Feet Under album at all.”

    • Totala Mad says:

      backed….The weird thing is I found this site a few months after I realized how stupid and time consuming it was to rage and care what people thought about what I liked. It was as if the life and blog Gods wanted to see if I really changed and could stand on my own. For my posi attitude and 0 fucks given lifestyle they have awarded me this site….no WK.

  31. CallPastorJerkface says:

    I still have the first email you sent me. It reads, in part,

    “John Zorn = you’re a fucking beardo”

    I still smile everytime I read that.

    Be excellent to one another (from either the Bible or Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Whichever came first).

  32. This is a good post.
    I like this post.

  33. blinded says:

    A leader is best
    When people barely know that he exists,
    Not so good when people obey and acclaim him,
    Worst when they despise him.
    ‘Fail to honor people,
    they fail to honor you;’
    But of a good leader, who talks little,
    When his work is done, his aim fulfilled,
    They will all say, ‘We did this ourselves.’

    —Lao Tzu, The Way of Life

  34. Anonymous says:

    oprah would approve of this post.

  35. Pixy says:

    Scenecore/tumblrcore shows are the best!

  36. Lord Mokrap says:

    This is one of my favorite places to check out music that’s outside my normal comfort zone. If your pleasures are “guilty,” you’re doing it wrong.

    tl;dr – HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY, BRO

  37. tldr says:

    inb4 good clean fun post

  38. James says:

    I hate it when people tell you about a movie, band or some form of entertainment, that they like, you say you dont like it or dont care then they complain that your narrow minded or cynical.

  39. dingdong says:

    Post backtard.

    I believe that positivity also breeds positivity, bros.

    I have a friend who was depressed, well overweight and just a very hard person to be around because he oozed negativity. But with positive reinforcement and gentle coercion from a few sources, he’s been eating healthier, hitting the gym and pushing himself to lift hard and found a job which isn’t such a drag to do. He now is radiating confidence and has such a posi vibe that I feel great just by being around him.

    He just needs to remove the handbrake that is his severely depressing girlfriend and he’ll be well on the way to a happy healthy life.

    We all have the ability guize!

    Ex butt-hurt fggts prove that change is possible.

    http://pfox.org/images/Ex-gays%20prove%20change%20is%20possible%20billboard.jpg

  40. ge5undhe17 says:

    This post, I give it a Borat double thumbs up

    Anyway. how did you break out from your negative former circle of friends? tellme tellme

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