We’ve covered the difference between the crappy girls who are only smashable and the awesome ones who are wifeable, but this thread on the SYWH forum raised a great point: if you’re a wifeable girl, it’s pretty fucking hard to find a husbandable dude! A couple anons on Tumblr have asked me about the same thing, so I figured it was worth a post.
I talk shit on girls a lot, because it’s funny and SYWH’s readers are 99.9% socially-awkward males, but make no mistake: girls are more evolved than guys at any given age, and dudes are far from perfect. Hopefully this will help the 3.5 ladies who read SYWH find the right guy, and help the rest of the SYWH sausage-fest evolve into husband-type dudes! Please note that when I say ‘husbandable’ I don’t literally mean ‘get married,’ I just mean ‘dudes who are ready, willing and able to be in a real relationship and can make a wifeable girl happy.’
The easiest way to explain things is, as always, with a chart. As I see it, there are essentially 6 kinds of guys at this age, only ONE of which is husbandable:
BETAS: We have discussed these guys endlessly on SYWH, so I’ll assume you know the drill. They may someday evolve into husband-type guys, but as long as they are whiny betas, they are too weak to handle a real relationship.
DOUCHELORDS: Dudes who are pretty much just interested in stabbing the guts of as many randoms as possible. Nothing wrong with that, but they are not husband material for obvious reasons (ie, they will cheat on you with your sister because she has bigger tits). Any band dude whose fanbase consists mostly of girls probably falls into this category.
Replace with picture of sweaty guy with guitar and ‘plays shows for high school girls, 25 years old’ and you have a portrait of most band dudes
LOSERS: You know that guy who is like 23, rides the bus to his part-time job at Subway, and spends his free time (which there is a lot of) smoking shitty weed with high school kids? That’s this guy, and I’m pretty sure you already knew you didn’t want to date him.
WEIRDOS: See above, only instead of smoking weed he collects anime figurines, tells everybody he’s going to move to Japan to teach English, and is a mod on the Gamefaqs Virtual Boy forum. I’m picking on weeaboos because they’re an obvious example of grose weirdo dudes, but there are many other weirdo-type males you may encounter during your quest for husband material (IMNs, comic book nerds, record collectors, and basically people who collect anything)
Don’t be fooled by his child-like, cuddly demeanor– the manchild is just as un-husbandable as the most weak, disgusting beta! You might as well just date your little brother.
MANCHILDREN: Pay close attention to this category, because it describes a whole lot of dudes that appear like they’re husbandable but are anything but! The manchild is essentially a guy who has his shit together enough that he seems to be adult, but is still 14 inside (and not in any of the good ways, like thinking dick jokes are hysterical). Picture every character Jason Segel has ever played: the manchild is more interested in his hobbies and hanging out with his friends than he is in a relationship, and only barely capable of taking care of himself. This means he will view his girlfriend as one part annoying obligation, one part mom– what a combo!! The manchild is a good guy, but until he evolves into independent-type male and is ready to put you ahead of poker night and his band, he just isn’t husbandable.
NORMAL DUDES: If you’ve gone through all of the above categories and none of them seem like a good fit for your dude, then congratulations! He’s probably just a normal dude, which means he is husbandable. The tricky part is that a lot of girls don’t notice normal dudes because, well, they are just normal- the same reason dudes often overlook wifeable girls in favor of attention-seeking bishes. What you want to look for is a guy who has a good job but doesn’t let work control his life, has friends but doesn’t have to hang out with them every single night, is supportive but not clingy, and basically just has his shit together. If that sounds ‘boring’ to you, then you probably aren’t wifeable yet and should just be prepared to spend a few more years get effed by douchelords until you grow up.
Bros, which type of guy are you?? Ladies, which guys do you find yourself dating??? Why don’t people realize how much manchildren suck??
I think I’m either a normal dude or a manchild, in the clear for wifeable bishessss
implying Sgt. D isn’t a man-child.
I only pretend to be one on the internet (srs)
- sent from my corporate management job
one thing i love about reading this site is picturing the sad lonely futures of not only the disaffected dorky males hiding behind alpha posturing and dyslexic internet joke slang but NOW i get to see that the lady readers are equally stupid and ill-equipped to deal with the real world. in summation: LOL @ u
Everyone is ill-equipped to deal with the world
You’re the only one here hiding behind cooldude posturing, everyone else is just being themselves in the best way the can. Don’t be hatin’ u fag
Other category: Dude who is getting his shit together? Or do I fall into loser/weirdo category till that day comes (in like 1 year srs)?
I’d also fall into this category. We can be bros in getting our shit together.
You also forgot to mention a very important thing: only 2% of all musicians can be qualified as husbandable(I’m being generous with that number). I know you’ve already established that almost all musicians are either losers or weirdos, but can that point really be stressed enough?
You also forgot to mention a very important thing: only 2% of all musicians can be qualified as husbandable
I literally just thought “fuck, I should have specified that effectively all band dudes are either douchelords or manchildren.” There are plenty of band dudes who don’t fuck groupies (via playing a style that doesn’t HAVE groupies), but almost all of them treat their band as a way-too-serious hobby that they put before their GF
No groupies: any genre that ends in the word “metal”
No groupies: any genre that ends in the word “core”
FTFY
lol do u even Warped Tour, bro?? 10/10 jailbait in Of Mice & Men tanktops as far as the eye can see
I stand corrected.
Last warped tour attended was 2003 : /
Officially jelly of Of Mice and Men (yeah that kind felt weird to type). Feeling like I fall even between douchelord and manchild because I know I cannot into a serious relationship and also want to stab guts. So, life is good?
true : (
I’m engaged, and just started playing in a band for the first time in a very long time. It’s definitely possible to be husbandable AND play in a band, but, like you said, you just can’t take it very seriously(which is probably a good way to get you kicked out of the band and/or just get tired of spending your Wednesday nights huddled up in a practice space with some sweaty dvdes).
It’s all about priorities: sweaty dvdes who are probably pretty weird and/or not very likeable, or long-term, committed relationship.
Also it seems like you were husbandable BEFORE joining the band – not the other way around. This is another good point; once you get your shit together and are on the track to wifing / good future, you can branch out into silly hobbies / bands etc as long as it is a secondary focus.
I not of the belief that, to be husbandable, one must give up all hobbies/things that are fun. You just have to know how to set your priorities and make decisions accordingly.
^^oops, that’s me.
For clarity, not the “getting shit together” as in “I’m gonna wake up at 10 am and apply at McDonald’s,” but “I’ve got one more year before I graduate as an RNA and almost-guaranteed get a 50k a year job” kind of getting shit together.
I guess I’m kinda stuck between the manchild and normal dude phase.
feel your pain on the college blues brah…
+1
See also “What’s My Age Again?” by Blink 182
yup
Pretty sure I’m like, a little bit of everything you’ve just mentioned hahaha. Love stabbing the guts of randoms, I fucking hate college, and deliberately try to get as little hours at my job as possible so i can go party more often. I do some pretty wierd shit like play old school games a lot, I watch/read your entry level anime. And i absolutely love acting like a stupid fuck with my stupid friends. In all honesty, right now in my life, being a “normal guy” doesn’t seem all that appealing.
Chicks don’t mind these things (yet?), and i kinda feel like I’ve got the rest of my life to be a normal guy. Wanna enjoy being young while i can. But at my current point in life, only a foolish bish would marry me, and i wouldn’t even pop the question.
“Wanna enjoy being young while i can. But at my current point in life, only a foolish bish would marry me, and i wouldn’t even pop the question.” Exactly how I feel, except I’m more in the phase of getting myself together (going to college and have a full time job). Anyways, any girl that can’t accept her bf or husband is into something weird/nerdy (pretty sure 100% of males are into something weird or embarrassing) isn’t wifeable…GUY CODE!
Holy shit, the loser description is disturbing. I literally know that exact guy.
admitting is the first step to recovery. peace be with you and good luck on your future endeavors.
I’m on a path to normal guy with actual job, gonna try to take a detour into being a douchelord while I’m in college.
Sounds like a good plan (srs)
While entertaining, not useful, or maybe it’s just all the guys I meet are man children? Or i’m a man child. Where’s the critique on guys who say I love you after two weeks or suggest marriage on the first date?
Those are called ‘beta fggts’ and we have critiqued them many, many times on here:
http://www.stuffyouwillhate.com/category/white-knight-chronicles/
where are you goin that all you meet are manchildren?
D, you should post an addendum of non-husbandable dudes’ natural habitat, like how douchelords hang in sports bars, weirdos and betas go to metal shows, weirdos and manchildren go to conventions, etc.
Great idea! For some girls, it can be difficult to identify these sub-types, and a field guide could come in handy for them
Was just about to amend this… so where do these husbandable guys occur in the wild? Cause yeah even the most likely candidates reveal themselves to be man childs after not too long. Take me to a party and introduce me as ‘your friend’ then not communicate for two months but get upset and offended when they see you with another guy. Common occurence would like to get past and meet decent husbandable dudes.
Normal dudes hang out at normal places… In other words, most likely NOT at shows, hipster bars, etc. Try going to stuff like baseball games, work parties, and other things that people on TV sitcoms about regular families do.
Gyms. Yoga class (srs that’s my jam). 4-5 star rated restaurants on yelp. Business professional mingles on meetup.com (also srs.) The beach.
At the beach you have about a 2:1 chance of being annoyed all day by a douchelord to meeting a cool/normal dude
All dudes have at least some level of weird. Some (much) more than others. Being a normal bro means keeping your weird to a minimum and not letting it out in public, except for in appropriate circumstances. ie it’s ok to dance like a fggty whiteboy sometimes when you’re at a club with your bros but NOT ok to do that at somewhere where you’ll come off as a zany tryhard. Have a weird hobby if you must, but don’t bore people with it and don’t let it consume you.
Lrn2 balance, lrn2 understand “appropriate” and you can be weird on your own time.
Exactly. I think what girls find more so of a turn-off than having weird hobbies is having the perception that said hobbies dominate your life, and that your life subsequently lacks direction. My gf and I both have hobbies that would put us in the weirdo category, but the critical difference is that we are both first and foremost dedicated to self-improvement and busting ass to make paper (even if it is in miniscule amounts at the moment).
tl;dr: It’s perfectly okay to like whatever hobbies you like, as long as you don’t let said hobbies dictate your primary priorities in life.
I really don’t have any direction in life, and never have… weird hobbies pass the time because they are interesting. Not saying I’m husband material in any way (quite the opposite), I’m just flat out not very interested in money or success.
“Gamefaqs Virtual Boy forum”
made me lol so hard
Oh god, this killed me too.
Many users have accused him of being drunk with power
THIS
but in reality it was vertigo brought on by the early stages of macular degeneration from years of using a virtual boy
Snickered irl
I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean but it sounds hilarious anyways!
My friends are pretty much all man children with a little bit of Beta and loser sprinkled in the mix. I think the man children category definitely needs to be bigger from my college to post college experience. Perhaps that fades out a little, bit but the dudes i hang with are 23-25 and mostly man children. Def some jobless losers and some socially awkward betas though. I like to think I am a normal dude but def have some douchelord/beta in my past and probably still some traces :-/
the comment section is a sausage fest, lal
And it will stay that way :(
Is this really a problem, though? I’m pretty sure before the internet dudes went to bars for “guy time” and it was totally chill and healthy when it didn’t overtake work/family responsibilities. This is kind of how I view SYWH, a modern version of that
I always dig these articles. I am now falling into the normal catagory after realizing no woman wants to srs date a dude collecting comics as a hobby. It’s actually funny this article hit, the other day I was planning on going through and clearing my collection out to fund my “getting life in order” plan. It will consist of gym, srs education, and a non-reclusive lifestyle.
Thanx D. <3 u bro (no homo)
as a guy who used to have two Super Famicoms and binders full of pirated Dreamcast games strewn all over the living room, I know that feel bro :/ Very very very embarrassing to think about how much of a grose manchild I was, and no wonder I got dumped!
“as a guy who used to have two Super Famicoms and binders full of pirated Dreamcast games strewn all over the living room, I know that feel bro :/”
This sounds like me in 8th grade, and me now in my mid 20′s. It also sounds pretty fuckin sweet, like I am in a paradise giving 0 fucks about anything and just chilling.
So here’s my question: at what point did this lifestyle get old? What made hard work and 9-5 corporate jobs seem appealing? I honestly am not very money motivated, and value low stress and free time above material wealth. My whole life I watched my dad toil at his 9-5 M-F job while my Mom works five tenths (5 days every 2 weeks) as an RN and just chills with the rest of her time. In my view, she’s doing it right. Hence my choosing nursing as a career path.
TLDR: Pretty sure I fit into every category on some level except normal guy. How did you transform? Having been in both places, has sacrificing your previous lifestyle resulted in significant life improvements?
Dude I have to disagree with the “no woman wants to srs date a dude collecting comics as a hobby.” Honestly that kind of mentality is bullshit. I don’t think anybody should have to sacrifice their if as long as it’s not getting in the way of the relationship itself.
I guess I’m a little impartial because I’ve been a huge comic fanboy my whole life, but this has never been an issue for me when meeting/dating girls. The trick is just not to be all a comic-book-guy-beta-fggt about it. DO NOT show some bish your 25+ shortboxes and signed copy of X-Force on the first date, that will freak her the fk out. Just be cool about it and keep it to yourself. When the time is right you can mention you liking comics here and there, but one of the worst things you can do is try to “get her into it” by over-sharing your hobby.
SYWH LONELY HEARTS <3
Indignant spiderman fggt seeks 3/10 with low self esteem.
^ literal lol @ this
@BLEH!: Dude, I think I love you /nohomo
:D
Old bro who has tried but mostly failed at life here.
Manchild or Weirdo?
Skweezy brought up some relevant points in his recent monologue “Y R Women So Crazy”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gehm1ITTdw8
“If you’re one of those homeboys who likes books and Dr Who, don’t expect to find love at PJ O’Mallys at one am.”
Skweezy droppin’ knowledge
Hands down my favorite video ever. Outlined my philosophy better than I ever could! Thanks dawg!
Sgt. D u forgot 2 include “white-Hispanic”, “pacific-Islander” & “other” in ur pie-chart!!!
But srsly, I think the chart is a pretty accurate representation of the average dudes normal personality as a whole, featuring all those components.
my azn (who is a flip) was instructed to check the “other” box when she was in jr high (West Covina)
Def fall into the manchild catagory, but am also 18 so i don’t think it’s a huge deal haha
thank you Sarge! ~~it all makes sense now~~ but srs, i’m sharing this wisdom with all my girl m8s. in your next post wood apreesh your help distinguishing between manchildren and normal dudels. xoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo
That feel when I like to think of myself as a normal dude but probably fall into the weirdo category. I mean I’m not an obsessive collector of anything, I buy Vinyl and Graphic novels sometimes but as little treats for myself and not some obsessive and expensive hobby. I mean I’m intelligent and working on a srs education, work two jobs to keep my income but don’t let either run my life. at 20 that puts me on the younger end of this chart. But this chart would explain why I date a lot of unwifeable girls and why the wifeable ones probably look me over because either I’m normal and go unnoticed or I’m a weirdo and attract bad vibes.
Bro, you said “graphic novel”, you are definitely a weirdo!
+100000000000
Mostly normal guy. Kind of a beta via being a scared lil bish when it comes to girls (cant seal the deal 4 stabbing guts) and I have IMN tendencies and also like smoking weed. Defintion of skinnyfat. Started working out, eating healthier, and moving up in my carrer. Not sur if doing better or just in akward early adult stage?
Oh my. I have a twin! Stay with it bawss, you have the ability!
Not the smoking weed though, I don’t want to get AIDS.
that kind of sounds like loser to me, doe (sry)
normal guy def has experience with guts
I think i might be a beta magnet :/
betas and manchildren must be the worst of the unhusbandables bunch.
i mean its really easy to avoid douchelords, weirdo’s & losers, but beta’s an manchildren are real tricky, they seem like rad, chill guys at first and then you find out after spending unworthy amounts of time with them they suffer from special snowflake syndrome, and its kinda hard to get rid of them.
seems to be a bit of an over population factor of beta’s in my world, cos they’re coming for me like left, right & centre and i keep finding myself having to use the friendzone card on these guys, (feelsrlybad) its sad and so i ask myself why? what did i/ am i doing to atrract this kind of attention or do single girls have to go through 10 beta’s to find one single ‘normal’ guy? do beta’s ever bloom into alpha males? and if so by what ages does that transformation possibly take place?
What is “your world?”
when I say my world I meant where I’m from, that would be cape town, south africa, but I can’t exactly generalise my city being full of beta’s that’s not fair right, so I guess ‘my world’ would be everything I choose to see or what I surround myself with, hence me attracting beta’s in the first place :/
Answered your own question. Being stuck in “Your world” is part of the whole beta/selfish bish pedestal paradigm. But hey, I’m no doctor Phil, just offering something to think about. Im sure you are a nice girl and are good and lovely. Please be safe.
True & fair, i have some big goals to out grow my lady beta phase for 2k12
Don’t try and find husbands at gigs, any dude who attends or is involved in the music scene in SA is a beta, and go there to feel comfortable with all there beta buddies. And even if they seem normal they’re NOT, some have just adapted to portray a less beta image but you have to ask yourself why isn’t said guy having a beer at the bar watching the rugby match and talking to his bros about rising interest rates? Ow and if he says hatereed is his favourite band actually if he has a favourite band he feels soo passionate about its probably cause they helped him through his feelings of rejection in school cause he sucked at sport/socialising/school work and said band helped him though this “tough time” (BETA talk) go find a dude who thinks women are kewler than music, cause they are and betas are too self-involved to realise it.
“go find a dude who thinks women are kewler than music, cause they are and betas are too self-involved to realise it”
^^ good point.
Thanks for the advice G-rad.
i have known a lot of girls who seem to have this same problem.
I would imagine you are attracting betas because your are most likely an attractive (but not too attractive) girl with a good personality and probably some interests that make you seem “not like other girls”. Betas know they have no chance with the super hot girl with a terrible personality so you seem within “their striking distance”, which is a false hope.
It’s a tough situation to be in because the traits that are attracting betas are probably the same traits that will attract normal dudes looking for wifeable material.
The only thing I can say is try make sure you friendzone them as quickly as possible? Guys, and especially beta dudes, don’t take a hint very easily. Good luck acquiring normal dudes!
Mid to late twenties for most, earlier for some, never for some.
Equal parts weirdo, beta, and manchild. Feelsbadbro
I definitely have a little of all the traits you listed sarge, I’m pretty level headed, 24 years old, studied and major in graphic and multimedia so I guess job prospects wise I’m pretty average. IMO it doesnt matter if you have any or all the traits listed, as long as you can bare the idea of wifing an average 5-6 bish and only stab her guts for the rest of your life you are pretty much sorted, its the type of dudes wanting to be husbandable but yet want to wife a hot 8-9 bish that makes these dudes forever aloners.
BINGO. Face facts guise, most ‘hot’ girls are not wifeable (due to their warped perception of reality after years of getting their asses kissed)
What if my ideal ‘hot’ chick is what societyperceives as a 6-8? From what you’ve described, i have tastes in women similar to that, (except OTW, i gotta love dem white bished, mmmm) In my book, those chicks are definatly 8-10 haha. So are my ‘hot’ chicks wifeable? Love DTE chicks!
Ya subjectivity gets tricky. I’m totally down for 6-8′s too. Some girls that are realistically even like 4′s are 6′s to me for some reason too.
Not sure if open minded
or just have low standards
Not sure if open minded or just have low standards
THIS haha. But whatever– I like sweet girls that other dudes think are 6-7s, no care. I guess I just have idiosyncratic tastes in girls, just like I do in everything else.
From my limited experience you can tell when someone has low standards vs. that’s just their taste. People with low standards are usually unsatisfied with their girl, don’t seem happy and ignore whatever their gfs do.
I have know this guy who is totally chill until it comes to chicks. Holy fuck, he’ll whine and complain while his girl is totally trying to please him, and like tries to get him happy. He doesn’t realize what he has. She’s a 6 but one of those nice girls. People who are with girls that they find attractive, regardless of cisgendered ideals promoted by dah media are happy people who truly care for their girl and don’t whine or think about “doing better.”
That’s where the girls who USED to be fatties but lost weight come into the picture.
YES TO THIS ^^^^
Also srs question. Does a wifeable bish care about dick size?
No! Unless it’s appearance on embarrassing bodies type reality show.
one part manchild, via being obsessed with cycling and rather watch soccer with my drunk bros than do couple stuff. one part douchelord, because well… i could be a pretty big jerk. i’ve realized that im not husbandable and will probably never have a girlfriend with an actual job / isnt crazy / is older than 25. i’m okay with that though. i think i’d rather have that then a chick in the house with mom pants on and kids who will just grow up to hate me anyway. this makes my parents nuts when i tell them that when i visit. oh well.
Yikes, never fails to unnerve, someone who doesn’t know how quickly and shitty things get because of a lost decade, fuck, a few lost YEARS. Once the consequence ball starts rolling, homie, it’s tough to stop (see: Katamari Damashi, Johnny Craig). Real talk: stack something, somewhere (education/cash/whatev) or go full commit on out to die
dude, PURE TRUTH. Jonny Craig is actually a really fucking good example of how your life can burn down in a frighteningly short amount of time once it goes off the rails a bit
Yep, stack something, and if you end up stacking something that falls into the whatev category, be prepared to have it way harder via transferable (and soft) skills are a bitch to market even if you’re super smart. Lost time = experience irrelevant to future success.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqUhuXzHnYY4
yo what category does this guy belong to
ok this is all good and all, but the question you really gotta ask yourself is:
why do you want to get married?
i mean, i’m still on the fence of whether to be or not to be but seriously, is it necessary?
It’s not necessary so long as you are comfortable being basically 100% socially isolated by age 40 when you are the weirdo singleton loser amongst eveyone you know.
This. I’m sure SOME people would be happy with that, but I bet they are extremely few and far between, and are probably too busy working on their Civil War reenactment costume to be reading this blog.
But is it really worth it to get married or make radical lifestyle changes just out of FEAR of said consequence? Shouldn’t getting married be something you’re working TOWARDS rather than as a means of avoiding some dreadful fate?
Even assuming you do get married, the 50% divorce rate means you might end up as the weird singleton loser anyways, and then you’ve made a ton of sacrifice for nothing.
Well, if you dont WANT to get married then you certainly shouldnt. I wasnt interested until i was in my late 20s, then i suddenly felt like i was ‘ready.’ apparently my anus was prepared?
ALSO
Change ‘married’ to ‘have a significant and meaningful relationship with another human who is real’ and see if you still feel the same way.
It’s not about giving up what you like: that is would be some beta bullshit. It’s about having perspective on what really is important in life and accommodating that reality.
On the other hand you’ll still have your music (speaking from experience >__<)
THIS. I’m sure this post mentions “giving up” things like comic book and record collecting only as a means to demonstrate a point: that those things cannot take a front seat in your life like they did previously.
Just giving up every innocuous thing you enjoy for some bish (even if she is the love of your life) should certainly be considered some beta BS.
I’m also an amalgam of sorts who honestly feels like he needs an appraisal to figure out where I belong. I’m part beta (metal lover who still pays cash money for physical CDs); loser (I have a serious internet porn addiction); manchild (I play NBA Jam with my roommate quite often, I’m waiting madly for GTAV); weirdo (foot fetishist); normal dude (I have a decent job as a hotel concierge; my main obsessive hobby is Argentine Tango, something that women who do it like and women who don’t do it want to know more about; I’ve had the same awesome GF for 5+ years). Thing is, I’m stuck in this line of work becuse it’s just good enough but not satisfying, yet I wasted my youth doing this instead of levelling up into a 50K badass. At least i’m into fitness but the women I usually like don’t like puffy-muscled endos like me.
I guess the upside is that I don’t really want a wife but would like to at least have some fulfilling 6-month romances after my current relationship ends.
Drop the addiction, write convincing CV focusing on achievements reflecting your soft skills, acquire better job is hospitality industry (maybe event marketing) and you’re set I guess?
*in hospitality
“This means he will view his girlfriend as one part annoying obligation, one part mom– what a combo!! ”
LOL THIS^^^
Seriously though, has anyone here ever had this problem and gotten out of it? Most of my non defined “relationships” which consist of a few weeks/months of hookups end because I just flat out don’t care about the girl very much. The sex gets boring and I am supposed to deal with her emotions, friends, parents, life, etc. and she just becomes a tedious obligation that isn’t worth it so I just fade her out (glad to know I at least knew how to do a few things before finding SYWH).
How and when does a serious relationship become more appealing than fun interesting hobbies? I feel like I’m at the point where I should be heading in that direction, but instead I’m going in the opposite direction (more hobbies/less girls).
Hard to say. Only you know when you’re ready for love.
No Homo.
Then surely said bishes = not wifeable. Simple as.
That’s the thing, though – these girls are usually nice, non crazy and have nothing majorly wrong with them. I’m just too shitty to care somehow.
I really appreciate your guy’s replies, via trying2selfimprove (srs)
Normal to some degree but im also self-loathing so that makes me beta as fuck. Also, Im thinking about quitting college since I cant pay it and just be electrician or something shitty like that. Would a girl consider me husbanable guy even tho im somewhat of a failure??
There is honor and considerable loot in trade jobs. They really are viable substantial options for career employment (and one would argue the very vanguard of modern civilization.) People are always going to need their shitters unclogged, their AC repaired and their electrical grids managed. Handyman with steady income sounds like pretty solid husband material to me.
^ this. Also, very very high job security and you can easily get a job anywhere in the country if you want to move. Start your own business and you can definitely get rich in the trades.
I dunno dog, I’ve met close to a few hundred trade dudes in my lifetime via my dad being an electrician, and with the exception of like four guys they were all fuck ups across the board, steady income yes but no wife / big time marital problems, drunk all the time / doing a lot of cocaine, extremely stupid / having LEGIT mental issues, etc.
I’m not saying there’s a direct correlation but at the very least be prepared to hate everyone you work with.
Well yes… All of what you said haha. I worked in printing for years and its definitely a cesspool, hard to argue w that
My dad works a printing press and like 80% of the people he works with, and to an extent himself, are gigantic fuckups
I always told myself I could go back to roofing if all else failed. I’ve been at a desk job for over ten years now so I guess things are okay…
Fuck the manchildren description is more on the nose than I’d like to admit.
First step is admitting you have a problem.
I’m sad and feel even more beta after reading this :(
I’m gonna be the one to say that I’m part Douchelord and part Manchild (via being a messy mofo who has bad spending habits) and that I’m not too worried about it. I figure both are expected of my age and I’m pretty polite about my doucehlord-ness. I won’t just leave a nice girl I smashed, have restraint and some sense of decency when it comes to smashing ‘em all and don’t get involved further with my drunken one night stands (even though there’s only 2 of those, haha).
Way I see it is that so long as you realize that being a douchelord is just sad after a certain age and synthesize it a bit with “normal guy” as in working towards a career or at least putting enough priority to studying. Not to mention, girls usually end up stabbing the guts of outgoing, confident dudes who are fun to be around so you DO get some life skillz out of it (unless you do Scumbag Steve game). As a bonus to myself I tend to attract nice girls that aren’t looking for commitment at the moment (I guess that’s the advantage of going to a top college where everyone, even the crazy bishes have some ambition in life) so a lot of drama is avoided that way.
That’s my take on it anyway but definitely not “boyfriend” material yet.
I see a lot of “LOL, IDK I’m just having fun rite now w/my don’t hassle me brah lifestyle” posts. If you’re not laying the groundwork for being a real, functioning person between the ages of 16 and 25, well, good luck I guess because you’re going to get a rude wakeup call.
^THIS. as a person who spent the majority of his college career being a general fuck-up/drunk/drug-abuser(eventually getting his shit together and graduating with a Mechanical Engineering degree/BA in Architecture/Math Minor)…I spent the majority of my early-20s wishing I would have FOCUSED on becoming a productive member of society earlier in college via being envious of my friends who actually did that and now have decent management positions/salaries. While I am 3-4 years behind them in the corporate game h8ing lief.
my point is: dont be behind the curve, be in front of it. working hard to accomplish a posi life goal might not be easy doesnt sound fun, but your middle aged self will thank you when you are able to relax and enjoy stuff instead of working 14 hour days in a dead end job.
^^^ esto aqui es padre/chido a toda madre…^^^^^
total manchild. if my girl isn’t the most annoying obligation in life right now. feelsbadman.
IDGAF if this puts me in the weirdo or manchild category but does anybody else notice that really badly CG’d ‘Number 1 Husband’ looks EXACTLY like Reggie Fils-Aime from Nintendo of America? Fucking uncanny.
The thing is, the “crazy bish”, “manchild” and “douchelord” are just different articulations of the same underlying character flaw, being self-obsessed. The crazy bish is self obsessed because they want to prioritize being the center of attention over everyone else’s needs, which is why they will do something nuts if they are feeling ignored. The douchelord is pretty much the male equivalent, they just dont care about other people.
the problem with the manchild is that they are much more subtly self centred than the other two, because they tend to be far more insular, nice and seemingly normal. But at the end of the day, they will prioritize their interests over yours, theyll put their nerdy hobbies and friends before you and it doesnt even occur to them that they are being an asshole, and they think their SO is being needy because they want to spend time with them. Relationships with manchildren are the ones that often go on for years and eventually implode far worse than douchelords or drama queens, generally because the SO will all of a sudden ‘click’ that they have been treated horribly for years and have a huge well of resentment which just erupts all at once.
At the end of the day, the trick to being wifeable or husbandable is that you have to be willing to share or compromise with your SO. if you think that whatever you do ought to take priority over others then you probably shouldnt be in a long term relationship. this isnt necessarily a bad thing, because you are just going to end up feeling put upon by someone else for a long time, and they are going to be miserable and not understand why for what could be a very long time if you arent ready for a relationship
Your 2nd paragraph is a spooky-accurate description of my last relationship.
^The 2nd paragraph smacks of a mate of mine.
It’s actually painful watching him and his woman interact because she’s always tagging along with him to do shit he wants to do via wanting to spend as much time with him as possible/having severe anxiety that she can’t let him out of her sight.
I’ve been married for almost eleven years and have a sweet, sweet young’n. I do not consider myself any sort of expert or major success (like many other readers, both my wife and I have a mixture of all-of-the-aforementioned types) but I’ve been lucky and (*sigh* sorry, I’m going to have to go here for just a moment. Please avert your eyes/butts if this is offensive to you) very blessed to be where I am in life.
My gal was most definitly un-impressed with my “career path” (sales clerk) when we started dating but then I stumbled into a much better job and things swiftly moved on to wife and husband-ish-ness.
Job-wise I can’t emphasize enough the need to WORK HARD and actually CARE about what you’re doing. You don’t have to love it, just concentrate on getting it done right. It makes your employer feel you’re worth hanging on to. Also, always have some form of a back-up plan that may involve working EVEN HARDER and making more compromises.
Obviously, no marrage is perfect but if you both work at compromise, understanding and loving someone even at those times when it’s hard to like them you too can be over forty and still having some awesome gut stabbing sessions.
Also, as you go about your day to day-ness please keep in mind that as you are judging other people they are also judging you. So maybe try and figure out where someone is coming from (childhood experiences, family background, success/failure in life goals) before trashing/worshipping them out-right. You know you’d appreciate it if someone cared enough to consider you as a person and not just a collection of functioning cells. Returning the favor can be a very, very rewarding thing.
Sorry for the long blather and, once again, I am far from perfect or successful in the $$$ per hour/just-about-anything-else-in-life sweepstakes (I “collect” cds for fuck’s sake!) but I just felt like not keeping my big mouth shut this time. Even if it is just to remind myself to follow my own advice.
“So maybe try and figure out where someone is coming from (childhood experiences, family background, success/failure in life goals) before trashing/worshipping them out-right”
Beautiful advice, seriously. This is one of the most difficult but important things ive learned over the years… We are all a product of our experiences, and keeping that in mind has made it almost impossible for me to have negative feelings toward anyone as a person (although i certainly may not like their actions).
And guess what, that makes me a much happier person.
^^ These two posts.
This is my approach to life these days. I can’t help but have an overall posi vibe going on.
awesome post bro. +1.
you forgot to include disillusioned scumbag (via having gone thru divorce in your twenties)
this category is unhusbandable for other reasons than laziness or akwardness.
they might me “ready for love” but just can´t shake the feeling that commitment to a relationship is nothing but a trap. feelsbadman? not really, but re-entering the game at 30, with lots of marriage-experience and the ability to cheat whenever “necessary” is a bummer…
Minnie Driver wood wifesmash/10
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Yes! I remember you once said “Date Alts, Marry Mainstream” as advice to men. This statement works the same with women finding men. I used to be into more guys like you listed, but most of the first dates ended with them telling me their emotional baggage stories. I’ve started dating “useful” men pursuing degrees that earn them “real” jobs, too, and it’s the way to go.
tfw you realize you’re half weirdo half loser.
I often wonder how come I still manage to get my dick wet once in a while …
excellent point on avoidign a guy who lets work control his life. ladies: don’t date us. you ultimately make us feel horrible for having to put in 50+ hours a week at times and thus being too tired to ultimately want to do anything with anyone during the week. it gets emotionally straining on both ends.
Oh Lord. Take no offense to this, because IDGAF regardless, but I have to go in on behalf of my gender, since you’ve clearly sold us out, LOL. Seriously, take no offense.
//
FOH with the assertion that “girls are more evolved than guys at any given age.” That’s outrageous. The stupidity present in the bitches — quote unquote super duper quote — I know is beyond measure. You just lost 10 males points, son! The only woman I know who possesses even an inkling of genuine intellect is my mother, but she’s too old for me and I’m not really into inbreeding, though I may change my opinion after a few more years of involuntary abstinence.
My perspective:
Betas — FOH! A ‘whiny beta’ is just a strong-willed man who possesses the chutzpah to stand up to the throngs of FemiNazi Demon Lords who surround us like oxygen, though they ironically poison us like carbon dioxide. I’m sorry most Mothers taught their boys to bow to bitches, but I’ll slap the fuck out of one and rip out her hair in a heartbeat. A bitch isn’t worth anymore than any damn man.
Douchelords — Okay, okay. That one is weird, but fine.
Losers — The still immature. Yes, they do prance around like a bunch of underdeveloped fuckfaces in need of an anal rape or kick in the sack. Nevertheless, keep in mind that a myriad of females fit this category as well to a bloody T. However. They are excused for it because of their tits and vagina, as if that impresses someone of my immaculately developed intellect. Bitch, suck my dick and read the headlines news at the same damn time. And if you can’t figure out how to do that, then jump the fuck off my balcony and die.
Weirdos – Hold up there. Why is it that weird bitches are celebrated like Gods. Weird, annoying bitches with stupid, asinine hobbies that no grown motherfucking man gives a flying hoot and nanny about are treated like Queens of Narnia. Yeah, fuck that. You too… suck my dick just like that hoe in that anime porn you incessantly watch!
Manchildren — Ironically, a slew of men who possess girlfriends are indeed ‘manchildren’. So really, my judgment goes toward the clinically brain-dead, imbecilic broads who fall for these jack knobs over and over again, as if the concept of learning from prior mistakes completely evades their vapid, superficial single-celled brains.
So yeah. Take no offense. :-) LOL.
By the way, want to up your readership? Shit. Let me advertise for free on your sidebar and I’ll write op-eds that’ll drive thousands of viewers – from Feminazis foaming at the mouth to real ass men.
Definition of Real Man: Unafraid to choke a bitch! Verily, this is true!
Don’t bow to women, guys. The Feminazis have driven the thought that we’re all unsophisticated goons into your heads. Not true. I swear on every fiber on my being that I encounter far more intelligence, sympathy, kindness and good-natured humanity among men than I have ever found among that diseased specimen known as the woman.
And no, I’m not gay, but I sure wish I were! Trust me. I’m not. Just looking at my own penis makes me want to throw up. Speaking of which *goes to barf*
Firstly, ^^^ this guy.
Secondly, here’s something that worked for me and many people I know. You need to meet someone during a transition period. You should probably be around 30, but let’s say 25-35 (with both endcaps being pretty suspect). You’re still doing the same stupid shit you’ve been doing for years but are losing interest in it, as you are making a transition from whatever groce type to normal person. In my case, I met my wife at the local indie dance night (srs) and we had what could have been a one-night stand, but we started hanging out. The important part is that it turned out we were both of the same mindset. The more we hung out, the more we thought going to dinner, having a couple drinks and going to bed by midnight beat a lot of the other stupid shit. A really gay positive sign of change was how many times I bought tickets to shows but we ended up bailing on the shows to eat at the Chinese restaurant down the street and go to bed early. If this sounds super lame to you YOU ARE NOT READY and don’t worry about it. But if you are ready or getting there, just keep doing what you’re doing but be on the lookout.
i’m normal and in college, don’t play in a band but do have the ability to play drums, hang out with friends maybe once a week when they have time, and don’t have any weird collections or anything. am i a husbanable dude yet or is that after college? pls respond
Doing it right, keep it up