The latest update in our ongoing coverage of MELISSA MILLIONAIRE’s weight comes via her mildly lulzy (but mostly boring and slightly annoying) Instagram. On the positive side, my boner is excited about her slutty nails and the presence of leggings and Uggs. I am also a fan of small asses and narrow hips (in b4 whale slayers tell me I’m gay because I ‘like girls who are built like 10 year old boys’), but IDK if I can get down with how her knees look like they’re about to snap under the weight of her hair. Feel like she has the physique of some poor Eastern European who got kidnapped by human traffickers, was stuck in the sunless hold of a cargo ship for 3 months with only Saltines for food and this photo will be shown on CNN as a shocking example of her brave battle with scurvy.
But more importantly, I’m pretty unimpressed by the cheap, generic bathroom interior- not mirin dat build quality :( It looks like the drawers on the left are those dummy ones that don’t actually open because the cheap Jews who build the cookie-cutter OC housing development didn’t want to spend an extra $50 on actual drawers, and those faucets look equally crummy.
Miss u, water balloon Melissa :(
Wood u still stab her guts? Is this the only example of when ‘sharp elbows/10′ is actually justified? Do her stripper nails give you a boner, too?
She looks like one of those bobble-head dolls with the comically oversized head and deliberately retard-proportioned body. Wood not be able to smash without laffing/10
Also I feel like I’d have to pay €30 to stab her guts or else some dude called Stavrinou will chase me in his Lada Niva.
Last paragraph = my thoughts exactly, although her facial features lack the rough, inelegant/sorta butch “God didn’t quite finish the sculpting” kind of look the stereotypical Eastern Euro girl has, so not 100% convinced.
Brb buying one way ticket to Bulgaria
this xD
be sure to call brah,there’s an Andrea show almost every weekend (srs)
anyways,Mellisa=still smashable;one question though:where dem titties at? ;(
“God didn’t quite finish the sculpting”
Aka irradiated soil + poverty = Eastern Euro girls.
That being said, brb, converting this week’s pay to Euros and stabbing my way through the female gold mine that is Europe
Now, when I was on tour with my old band last summer and we stayed in Hungary for a few days, I had to admit that while I never even came close to straying or being tempted to do stupid shit (#teamonewomanman #monogamousbro) the women in the town we stayed at were ABSURDLY gorgeous. Seriously, it was like a town-sized modelling agency. Even the so-called groce, unwashed Roma bishes had something going on. Godspeed to you brah, you’ll enjoy it.
Hungarian currency is called “Forints” though..
I must go to this hungary you speak of… i hear there are hot tall gringas that speak a gibberish language while you imagine their hot nice perky titties in yo face!!!
By all means, go there. Fuckin’ sweet country as long you go there in summer and stick to the bigger cities. Even the nicest Euro-countries get all Borat-style on yo ass if you get far enough out from the cities. Not even my own cushy little Denmark is safe from this :/
not big enuf gap for how skinny she iz.
How are you sure of teh ethnic/religious identity of the people who built her housing tract? Contractors (all of which are scumbags) are usually of the burly, cracker varietal.
Iz making fun of an actual human being’s eating disorder who will probably read this an ok thing to do? Or iz it treading into isanyoneup territory?
Fair point except a) she has def heard this from many people before me and b) i am encouraging her to eat more, not less
Also, you’re right: the contractors were probably white trash. Their financial backers were the cackling shylocks.
ahaha cackling shylocks
jerking off to photos of banks
tho in socal they’re probably persian
Touche
in b4 someone callz me a no funclub fggt.
SOMEONE NEEDS TO STAND UP FOR POLITICAL CORRECTNESS AROUND THIS CESSPOOL OF CISGENDERED PATRIARCHAL FILTH! I COMMEND YOU!
i have a thing for water balloons so old melissa >>>>>
THIS x 10000000
The water balloon form is pretty much perfect. Not grossly skinny, not grossly fat. Still some meat, but very little flab. Still wood of course.
DAT COKE AND LOW SELF-ESTEEM DIET.
that last paragraph is pretty insensitive. she probably lives in a model home because her family owns a realty business that’s having some trouble, so they all had to move into it to save money. and while they’re there they have hilarious mishaps along the way all while trying to make sense of their crazy lives.
Netflix, 1 star
she can’t eat because she keeps getting burned by the cornballer
Fake nails are fuckin grose. Just thought I’d put that out there
Agreed
Bitch has big hands, what a disgusting pig.
She could weigh as much as she did or look this skinny, don’t matter to me. Just hoping she adjusts her hair accordingly soon :/
i want to sniff whatever’s hanging on her towel rack.
THIS.
Would smash but I preferred her when she was thicker :( also, would bang her sister
here here bro!!!
Love this Sarge, always discussing female weight. My younger brother digs whales cuz all he cares about is bewbs. Our friend is crazy for skinny bishes, so we joke and say he’s got a boner for Auswitsch ladies. Me? A comfortable medium, but still wood smash pretty much anything.
Love this Sarge, always discussing female weight
someone has to have the courage to speak up about important issues!
WOULD
But srs, I think she looks better now.
Love how her cokeworn face makes her face look 20 years older than the rest of her. I mean, I still would, but that’s not going to stop me pointing out her mild imperfections on the internet!
^ this exactly
Looks like she lost her tits. That was her smashable factor before.
Wheres the neon :( feelsbadman.jpg
no v1 sidekick either =-/
Sure she looks like she just finished the Abs By Auschwitz workout/diet program, but I still would.
“Abs By Auschwitz” – A+++++ material brah
I have a thing for vacuous, shallow, attention-whore, goldigger-girls with daddy issues who “grew up too fast”, so yeah wood. (wish I could resist tho)
That bathroom looks exactly like the ones in multiple shitty apartments I have lived in over the years :/
Would still split in half like a log being turned into firewood. I mean….
http://distilleryimage1.instagram.com/a177a340967511e19dc71231380fe523_6.jpg
I think she’s still wearing that JC bracelet that fan got her. Maybe she can’t get it off with her giant sloth hands.
Anal Cunt – “Body By Auschwitz”
So is Alison the fat one now?
Time has not been kind to this one :(
Do not want:(
Melissa plz
Mlessa pls
Dolan reference?
Dolan are okay wit hthis
Reg ards,
Unecl Dolan
I feel a little sorry for her, she has the face of someone who isn’t happy and the body of someone who has stopped eating/abusing stimulants. No WK, but more just hope that errythings alright. Please be safe!!
Srs doe
Mirin your analysis of bathroom fixtures, brah.
i probably wouldn’t be able to stop myself from giggling at her hair; c’mon anyone can see it doesn’t work with her new figure!
Seriously why doesn’t she have breasts?
“would smash with the fury of a thousands virgins”
Srs so much hotter skinny. Besides, I’d rather deal with a girl with a coke problem than a self esteem problem for being a little chubby. Still would have back in the day but only to tell my grand kids that I smashed a B-list Myspace celebrity.
Holy shiz. Does anyone else think she looks like a real life sufferer of the graft vs. host thing that Tobias had in Arrested Development?
Melissa, prayin 4 u! Buyin’ u “uncle T-Bag” embroidered UGGz via unsolicited White Knight gifting!
Basically my comments have been stated by other commenters: too much hair for too skinny body, tone that shit down. Also I hate anything on girls nails for some reason, I just like them to look like normal nails.
That being said, she is of course still hot and would/10
If you can’t see your dick moving around inside of her, she needs to diet bro.
Dick version of chest-burster scene from Alien or GTFO!
If this bish was nood, bent and brandishing her vertical smile at me i would go into a guts stabbin’ frenzy… Would’nt log out of playstation network for that taco tho
congratulations, you WIN!
y is dere no n00dz of Mish Millionaire?
I’m sure it’s only a matter of time. Her ‘fame’ / popularity has already peaked, so shooting some n00dz is the next logical progression on her never-ending quest to retain male attention
Jhunk
I liked the way she looked before plus she wasn’t fat, she had meat on her there’s a clear difference. Plus those aren’t stripper nails sweety I tried my nails like that and I didn’t look like a stripper. Well maybe it’s because I was covered up, lol. Not really but I don’t show as much skin as her. My legs yeah I guess but I hate skirts and shirts that show too much legs. I think she NEEDS to eat ALOT more because she looks better with meat on to me but if she’s happy who cares? This is what I hate about the world people bullying and using ‘fat’ in a bad way. I’m no super model but I’m not over weight to plus I have boobs, hips and thighs. Not trying to sound mean or anything because I do want to lose a few for summer. Any who I love most of they’re songs and they’re new ones are ALOT better. I wish all the haters would give them a second chance or at least not only listen to ONE song and say they hate them. They aren’t who.res they say it for the money. REAL whires dress a lot worse and take naked pics nd send it to FaceBook. Real whores have millions of boyfriends, they’ve had only like 3 (not sure lol) for a few years. They don’t really sleep around. They got good grades in school and are sweet and loving to every one. That’s why we they’re fans love them so much. What person has NEVER tried alcohol or drugs ONCE in they’re life? No ones perfect and they don’t really do drugs. I do know and have seen pics of Mellissa smoking and I wish she would stop but it is HER life Nd she’s 20 people need to get off they’re as.s. All the members are OVER 18 and I miss Allison but she’s better off. After she off they got better. Stop the hate!