It’s always funny when you are close enough to understand why other people care about it, but far enough away that you yourself don’t care about it. Like when your girlfriend comes home and spends an hour telling you how this one girl at work is such a bitch because she always makes other people fill out her TPS reports but omg the boss doesn’t even see what she is doing!!!
This is how I feel about the band CONFESSION. They are famous because singer Michael Crafter (or just Crafter, as the kids call him) was on the Australian version of Big Brother and was in that formulaicore band I KILLED THE PROM QUEEN, and also BURY YOUR DEAD for a week. A bunch of people sent me links about how he is kicking everybody else out of the band, with lots of Facebook drama ensuing, but I’m not Australian so I don’t care. That said, I do think they have 1 awesome song and some pretty sweet merch so let’s just talk about that instead!
The title of this video is “MOSH CLIP,” and accurate title is accurate! Wish all their songs were this sweet :(
Fig 1, the most Aussie shirt ever. It’s so cute how they would say ‘rippuh’ and they call a hoodie a ‘jumpah’!! Why are Australians so cute and awesome, and not grose uptight buttholes like Euros???
rly wish the fonts/layouts were the same on both so it would be a perfect matching set, like how black people will walk into a store, pick up a mustard yellow velour track jacket and ask the clerk ‘Yall got the pants for dis?’ and then she’s like “No sorry, we just have the jacket’ and they’re like ‘Aw, aight den’ in a disappointed tone of voice and walk out
Basically, I feel like Australia is basically the cooler version of Canada, in that there are tons of bands that are seemingly massive there, but essentially nobody in the US gives a fuck about them other than very advanced-level Tumblrbros/sluts. I’m not putting them down (in fact, far from it, Aus seems SUHWEET), I’m just saying it’s one of those countries that might as well be a parallel universe when it comes to music.
Auto-tune clean singing = sure-fire way to deflate a mosh boner.
Why are Australians so cute and awesome, and not grose uptight buttholes like Euros???
Because we are Europe’s rejects. We liek fun too much. We’re the alcoholic criminal fuckups who just wanted to party, instead of eating eel pie and cucumber cocktails and being cold and having potato famines and exterminating races and being greasy / swarthy / lazy and destroying the world’s economy and having to use umbrellas 364 days per year. So they kicked us out.
“being cold and having potato famines”
The funniest things are those I try not to laugh at and end up laughing harder.
“exterminating races”
it’s a dirty job, but someone had to kill them joos
You’re right tho, fuckin lazy socialist euros get a job!
“come on guys, hustle!! that helmet is not a chair! these gypsies aren’t gonna kill themselves!”
A++++ Euro dis paragraph, mirin
Please edit this into the Aussie Wikipedia page. Thank you.
When I moved from the US to New Zealand I experienced some of the same confusion dude. As far as the music and stuff goes, there are some bands/singers that are popular in Aus/NZ that no one cares about in the US. Maybe the best example is Kylie Minogue who had been a huge pop star for years in Aus before she actually gained any popularity whatsoever in the US. All of the gigantic US bands are popular down here, but there is a subclass of bands that just don’t have the oomph to make it in the US.
Also, that Ripper shirt = Aussie bogan to the max.
but shes HUGE here in the UK for some baffling reason??
the list of truly international aussie bands begins and ends with AC/DC
And then there is the total lack of separate scenes in smaller NZ towns. I hit up a show in Rotorua that was scene kids, no fun clubbers, skinheads and scungy bogans all in one place.
What’s the deal with Amity Affliction in the US? They seem pretty massive in Aus but are there fux elsewhere?
Crafter is a funny cunt too. He got so angry over the band trying to boot him out. Such a dick move to punt everybody else haha.
I have too many shirts with the word Fuck on them already unfortunately :( (srs)
I wish I’d known you were there when I was shopping for that track suit…
fyi the ‘Yall got the pants for dis?’ line is from when that exact exchange happened between some black guy and my ex when she worked at an ‘urban’ clothing store at the mall. Un classique!
omg D you so fancy when you speak fggt language!
lol as soon as I read “they do have one awesome song” I was hoping it was that one. Seriously the soundtrack to my life for like two months. “GET FUCKED!!”
Mirin’ their physiques, these bros look like they could give Harm’s Way a run for their money.
Or maybe they’d give each other nods of approval, fuse bands and commence the heaviest, most ignorant mosh of all time.
My vote is for the latter, but since I weigh under 200 pounds and my guitar is in standard tuning I guess it doesn’t count.
IMO these guys look better than Harm’s Way. Singerbro from HW has a lot of mass, but he’s very soft- test/dbol bloat imo (or as gh15 says, ‘bloofy look,,,’)
He used to be fat. Good job mosh bro
“Singerbro from HW has a lot of mass, but he’s very soft- test/dbol bloat imo (or as gh15 says, ‘bloofy look,,,’)”
BRB getting out the body building dictionary.
PS – does such a thing exist? plz respond
but singer from harms way AKA James is str8 EDGE so no dbols for him right? lol
lol nfw that dude is natty. Hes bloofy as fuk
The only good thing crafter has done is use the word “sweater” since his IKTPQ days
The guy on the far left looks like a drug fucked version of Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
lolololol srs doe he does.
Also, I normally would hate on anybody with oldfag headwear like that Mark Twain straw hat, but for some reason the fact that he’s an Aussie makes me think it’s OK?
What’s worse, straw hats of Irish looking “old man” hats?
Fuck! He does too. Crafter is missing a major opportunity to expand the Confession brand via kicking out DFJGL
Yea, that or maybe he just got his wisdom teeth pulled (WTF?!) Haha :)
front and left dude have weird looking faces. The main dude in particular looks like he chugs steroids or something by the bottle. Is that what u look liek IRL sarge??
Also love how the others are shunted to the back cos they don’t have any sweet ink or even big muscles. Not surprised this guy considered them all expendable.
I own these shorts but I don’t like wearing them in public because people don’t know it’s a band and they think I’m confessing that I don’t give a fuck. That makes them a lot less ignorant so I wear them by the pool.
I wood wear both shirt n short for those reasons exactly bro as I would parade around w/e hot stripper guera im smashing the fuck of with da cliche drug problem/low self esteem/daddy issues n chit =]
i once went to a strip club in Hawthorne at like 2pm on a Tuesday. it was as depressing as you would imagine.
just thought I would share that here.
Shirts are kinda lame. nobody cares about the f bomb on merch anymore. they gotta step up their game like The Paramedic.
Butthurtin’ all kinds of people with this misogynistic-breakdown-chant inspired CLASSIC!!!
http://new.merchnow.com/products/138213
BRB wearing that next time my azn nags me about taking out the trash or cleaning the cat box
That band name confuses me to no end. I know band names ran out a long time ago, but The Paramedic, for an ignorant mosh band? wtf?
No dis to AUS but it’s basically where boring rich kids go to “broaden their horizons” because it’s so far away but everyone’s still white and speaks English.
To tell the truth I’m just butthurt over the “cooler version of Canada” line. Australia isn’t the cooler version of Canada, Canada’s the cooler version of Ukraine (living next to a huge fucked-up shithole but keeping it real with the hotter bitches and funnier culture)!
dat last line = A++++++
ukranian bishes are srs some of the planet’s hottest. s-rank bish quality over there.
Ahh touche… same thing w/ US merican’s attitudes with the mexis as our neighbors down south!!!
ouch…. half of me got offended by that =P
he’s gonna hire a bunch of srsbros and make boring “tr00″ hardcore :(
I know nothing of this drama, but I saw these supporting PWD a few weeks ago and they were really excellent, putting in at least 40% more breakdowns than seemed to naturally fit into the songs, which was excellent! Also the moment when the drummer hit the cue for a cheesy ‘Time for a breakdown!” clip before something madly brutal was so much fun. Really hope they don’t get 2 srs :(
From his twitter lol
Michael Crafter @Crafterxxx
Confession looking for new members. Over 21 looking for guitarist and drummer. Must go the gym, train etc. Australian people only
Must go the gym
Best help wanted ad of all time– mindbottling
It’s odd the Ausses don’t have a wacky name for the gym like “the liftah” or “the presshouse” or something.
We’re busy trying to work out whether the person who said it means gym or Jim. It’s sometimes pronounced “I’m gowntatha gym”
Bands from aus/nz do get very little exposure in the americas which is a bit-o-shame seeing as thats where all the sweet moolah is, unfortunately tours cant be run on sub-standard groupie vaginal fluid and $10 a doz beer. On a semi-related note many thanks to ‘merica for your females, yank bishes love the kiwi cock! All you have to do is say “hows it gaan?” and ya nuts deep in guts.
love the huckleberry finn hat
Pretty sure I saw these guise on Americas Super Talent Havers this one time.