Hola. Me llamo latinoheat. Yo soy un Angelino con orgullo. Yo tambien soy un Estado Unidense que es hispano. If you understood that then you must live in some part of California, New York, Florida, Illinois, Texas, or some lonely poor place in the southwest or the south (yes us brown people are gonna eventually take over that place too after all the racist senators/religious prudes die off eventually and we make more pocho/mulatto/mixed kids con las gueras/morena natives from this region yo!), Spain, Mexico ( its a given but had to insert my dad’s homeland for illustrative purposes n shit) and/or everything that is 3rd world Central America (wassup to all my pinolero, guanaco, chapines, n catracho homies!!) and everything that is South America except Brazil (Booty smell good doe ;-D). But now that I’ve introduced myself lets talk about the greatest place in the whole fucken you-es-ay: motherfuckin’ El-Lay.
First things first though, Yes LATINOS R BORN 2 MOSH. Now, with the ongoing theme of repping random places in the USA and the world in the SYWH community I felt that I have to say something about this gorgeous city full of smog. Now, now I know what you are going to say: “Goddamnit why the fuck do I live in (insert retarded boonie place/small town here). Why can’t I live in the golden paved roads of So Cal/L.A.?” well first off lemme tell you sum sum homie. In order to live in this place you have to know something about el-lay’s history, geography etc. Since I’ve taken a couple of California geography and chicano studies classes @ ELAC and haven’t flunked these courses or mouthed off to professors/teachers (bcuz the teachers didn’t like me of course!!!) and actually listened to wtf they had to say, I actually learned a lil something about this region. In order for me to avoid the TL;DR syndrome I’ll cut it to a couple of short phrases: Gabrielino Native Americans (ooohh note the PC term- that means im edu-mah-cated), Spanish conquistadors, Mexican ownership of the southwest for some time, USA then took over after some retarded war in the 1800s, da Zoot Suit Riots (I hate musicals btw =/), Tagbanging/surenos, da LAPD beating the crap out of minorities until the Rodney King beating and da 92 riots, umm.. the L.A Xtreme/Avengers, and mayor Antonio Villaraigosa (The next mofuckin’ Bill Clinton IMHO).
But anyways as you can tell from my tone of um sin-tax that I love this place. We are spoiled as fuck when it comes to weather. It’s pretty funny when out of towners (I’m looking at you east coasters) act all shocked when they wear shorts during December over here. We are pussies when it comes to weather though, as we think anything under the upper 70’s is cold. Even though we have a high cost of living, the only thing we gotta worry about is mofuckin’ Earthquakes, getting shot, and/or getting into car accidents since this place is essentially a city full of cars.
What we don’t have to worry about : twisters, hurricanes, snowstorms, retarded rednek hix (look up the high/low desert area/imperial county/ I.E part of so cal not el-lay[there are white trash doe here n there in the suburbs of L.A county]), sick deep unemployment (I’m sorry Detroit you were once da happening place but now you’re a mad max apocalyptic city) since we have better job opportunities now, natural disasters that the rest of the you-es-ay has to suffer with, and guidos from new jersey (making fun of people from NJ = never not funny :-D).
I also forgot to point out that along with a kickass diverse culture, we also kickass in sports, music, and pretty much everything else. We don’t have accents tho. Sorry bout that. Sorry we don’t say “hella” or “wicked”. Actually no, I take that back. Fresh immigrants do have accents lolz. The latin/Hispanic nation over here says certain vernacular like “guey”, “foo”, and we have a certain way of pronouncing LA (see the title of this post).
There is a lot of sensory overload on da music, women, sportz, fewd, and overall culture over here. One post won’t do it justice as this is just something I wanted to do so sgt. D can say his blog is diverse but for now this post will have to do. I will now leave you with two el-lay natives that have something to say about the city of angels.
So now that I have given you a somewhat intricate picture of el-lay’s diversity. I want to know what do YOU think of El-Lay??? Do you think L.A is gay as fuck? Can you believe Da Kings are the mofuckin’ Stanley Cup Champions?? ARE YOU JELLY OF OUR CHAMPIONSHIP CULTURE IN SPORTS??? Do you hate this piece of shit shithole like the rest of the out-of-towners?? Will you ever show up to a dodger game @ dodger stadium wearing SF Giants gear?? Did you know that the 5 goes all the way up to the state of Washington (I think)??? Are you down with the brown??