It’s mean to laugh at sad, dysfunctional people whose complete lack of social skills is illustrated by publicly humiliating themselves in what will surely be a fruitless attempt at finding companionship, but it’s also really funny. And if you have ever used the free dating site OK Cupid is essentially just a huge petri dish full the above.
For example, here some OKC creepverts who missed the memo that in the “most private thing you’re willing to admit” section, you’re supposed to say something silly and flirty like “I think Bridget Jones is a really funny movie. There, I said it!” not talk about your meaty foreskin.
All images from OK Cupid Enemies:
Acually was Dwight
If you look closely, I’m p sure his monitor is displaying a spreadsheet of his Fleshlight collection (the crown jewel being his hand-numbered Avatar-alien butthole model, which he only uses on Christmas and birthdays)
Thx for the definition brah, v helpful. Also, cool shirt.
He’s so coy!! What a charming fellow
Does he mean bringing her clit flowers for no reason, or taking it on a surprise weekend trip to their time share on the beach??? Will he end up running off with her labia majora when her clit starts taking him for granted??
Trying to think of ways this could be more creepy… nope, I’ve got nothing.
Mirin dat indian decal in the window of his Chevy Astro
Dis nigga deep. I dare you to ask him what his tattoos mean.
brb reposting on Craigslist ‘IMN4IMN’ board
Who’s the lucky lady, and did he take his tinfoil off when he hit her with the hammer?
“Most of you make me sick, just saying…”
Well that’s a great way to get people interested in you
He’s filtering out all the uninteresting shallow people that have functional lives. When you’re harpooning for whales, you don’t follow conventional logic.
This is the perfect storm of utter creepiness and horrifying depressingness- it deserves to go in the pantheon with other classics like “when that weird guy you know drunkenly tries to justify why it is ok to be sexually attracted to 15 year olds” and “when someone gives you the “you know, there is a difference between niggers and black people” talk”.
“I’m not racist, but I AM prejudiced, and if you act like a nigger that’s what you are.”
-White trash adult female who worked with me in a restaurant when I was fifteen
Classy broad
The utter drawback of telling non PC jokes – people like this sometimes interpret it to mean that you’re “on their side.”
Reminds of the the scene in Falling Down where Michael Douglas walks into that store and the white power guy is all about it
“when that weird guy you know drunkenly tries to justify why it is ok to be sexually attracted to 15 year olds”
Some +40 old dude tried to have this conversation with me, whilst drunk, when two girls that were approximately 13-15 walked by us. Creepy 0_o
Did he bring up the “evolutionary imperative”?
“once they hit puberty, they are completely ready to bear children! human beings are MEANT to have sex by the time they’re twelve!”
Stopped going to parties because one of these two conversations would always happen. And I’m always sober :/ my fave is “Niggers doesn’t always mean black, you can be a white nigger” tactful and racially sensitive/10
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5n2n4MKHK1rxt7jlo1_500.png
So much gold. This may surpass Serge’s tumblr as my new favorite tumblr.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5mcq1ESBo1rxt7jlo1_500.jpg
I promise not to make this comments section just a bunch of pics from the tumblr, but this just seemed to SYWH perfect.
this describes me perfectly =D
That skinny tattooed kid looks down to party.
The Mossad clit commander below him looks down for featuring you in a snuff film. That he will record on his new iPhone 4 that he got from the sales of his recent 8mm ouevre.
lol @ ‘ourvre’
These people exist?
I will never understand why dudes think that talking about their dick or how much pussy they eat will attract women. Anyone can talk the talk and when you just go right off the bat hyping up your package, not only do you give off massive creepvert vibes, but you come off as super-insecure as well. It’s always a much better strategy to IMPLY sexual confidence and be a little bit flirty and sexy. Dirty, dirty talk only works once you’ve got her in the mood. It’s the same as walking up to a girl at Target and saying “I’ve got a nine inch dick. What do you wanna do with it?” Actually, even worse. Because at least irl, you can come off as a cheeky bastard and with the proper delivery maybe make it work with certain chicks, but all that playfulness or brashness is 100% lost online. More like “Hey, you’re cute, get in the van.” style “game.”
Also lol’ed hard at Sarge’s suggestion for the Secret Confession. W00d b interested in a date/10
TL;DR
You called?
;)
Surely they are all jokes put up by mates?
“Spoiling women in the clit department” Did giggle.
brb spending my weekend trying to work this phrase into a conversation.
Please post progress pics.
any notes and/or videos will be appreciated
Brb starting a slam band called “Clitoral Disemspoilmentification”.
What does the friend/enemy thing mean? Also…. wow…. thanks internet
Basically, the way okstupid works is that you answer a bunch of survey questions about your interests and beliefs in order to create an algorithm of the type of people you would be friends with, romantically compatible with, and enemies with. So basically, these images are all culled from the dregs of people’s match results.
My list of reasons why humanity should be exterminated grows longer everyday, and this tumblr just increased the growth rate by 200%
u sound p metal, brah
> pretends to hate everyone
Sure you’re on the right blog, bro?
Agreed.
Apparently our sentiments are too serious for this blog, as noted by other commenters.
if they are this bad, somebody can stand to make a lot of money with a seduction manual: special creepvert edition. For it to succeed, the author must understand that these players do not take advice, don’t learn from experience, everything needs to have a legal disclaimer, and the real goal of all lessons is fleshlight acceptance.
There needs to be a female version of this. When I used to troll that site for potential poundage there was an abundance of girls whose mental health status were beyond questionable. But I guess you can say that about any individual on that interwebs landfill.
Not that they aren’t out there, but in my extensive experience with the website (I used it a LOT, and eventually even found my long-term gf on it), I found that there is a considerably lower rate of devastatingly embarrassing girl profiles on there (via girls generally having better built-in social survival skills…even when it comes to internet dating). They are certainly out there, but more often than not, I’d find a girl who seemed mildly quirky but had an innocuous enough profile, but then one message later, and BOOM! They go full retard. My favorite was when this girl sent me a half incoherent message stating that, amongst other interests, she “liked Japanese stuff and shiny things”.
What would the ratio of psycho to normal be on there? My sister found a pretty solid boyfriend on there, he was chill and had his shit together.
Now she keeps pestering me to get a profile on there but the type of shit Sarge just posted is one of the main reasons I don’t.
The thing to keep in mind is that there’s crazies, weirdos, and losers everywhere in the real world, and that Okcupid just makes it easier to get a more-candid-than-warranted look at some of them. These days, internet dating is not remotely a big deal at all, and there’s plenty of reasonably well adjusted/nice/normal people on there to meet. Sure, you have to sift through plenty of nutjobs/losers/wierdos, but that’s life, right? What I like about it, and why it was probably so successful for me (will probably wife current gf), is that it allows you to find people that, on a relative scale, share the same interests/values as you, while venturing entirely outside your current social circle (may not be an issue for you, but as somebody who has punk friends, it was critical for me). Give it a shot, you got nothing to lose!
“as somebody who has punk friends, it was critical for me”
^^this x9000
wow…
and i thought being a tall brown-eyed armenian-looking (big jew nose) mexican-central-american was tough =/
at least bitches love tall fuckers =P
*hug* big jew-nose solidarity.
is actually Jew, though.
lolz hook me up w/ ur accounting/lawyer connects bro… i must know more about shit like dat =P
omg ur rasist im telling
Haha, at least you have the height compensation factor. I’m just slightly above average height for central Americans, so that’s like nothing here in the U.S. Very Mayan nose doe, can’t mistake my nose for anything else.
so before i found somebody who was lovely and had the ability to be my gf, i was on okcupid, and used it for about a year or so. i actually met a few nice girls on it, but, the amount of crazy on their is over the top. i have a bunch of pictures saved that i kinda wanna post, but would feel a little bad putting these people on blast. one chick who hit me up and only one profile pic. it was at her grandmothers funeral and she is looking at the corpse as it lays there in the casket. A PICTURE OF THIS GIRLS DEAD GRANDMOTHER IS IN HER ONLINE DATING PROFILE. to be honest if she was hot i woulda went out with her just to see how crazy she was.
Oh my god I was drinking when I read that and spit it ALL OVER THE PLACE. Thank you, thank you, thank you haha.
Who told these guys that eating pussy is the key to getting women? Its like the only thing they focus on, and most girls I know aren’t even into that shit. :/
Hey that’s the best way to start sex, getting a good pussy eating !!!!!!!
This is only actually scary/disturbing one I’ve seen, and its a 94% match with whoever screen shot. That is some weeeeeiirrrrd shit.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyxtisDfWZ1qzv9mho1_500.png
id go out with her.
I guess that’s an attempt at dark humor, but whoa….
that girl is fucking hilarious! wood not though.
wood not respond to chat/10
As a working professional with only a night or two max to go out and find a smashable bish, I find myself on OKcupid much longer than I’d want to be.
Based on my experience, if you’re an average to above-average girl on there you are either:
A) batshit crazy.
B) have the social skills of a rock.
C) just there to “have fun” AKA hoard male attention.
And I thought this post was about that Kitty Pride bullshit song. Guess I was wrong
whatever happened 2 her? :/
Legit LOL at that last dude.
“Not anymore, sorry ladies”
That was S-rank shit
P sure the one with the boner for preggers is mark mcgrath.
My personal favorite, all bow down to the sexual fury of THE TIM: http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5ofljp6al1rxt7jlo1_500.jpg
WANT THIS VIEW???
would party with The Tim.
Dead.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m51uoh8P9K1rxt7jlo1_1280.jpg
don’t stop beleiving there is a way
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/tooth_eye?cf=regular