Last week our bro Bronson made some awesome lessons about ‘hardcore history’ that are of dubious accuracy– the joke being about how funny it is when insecure little kids mythologize dudes in hardcore bands and latch onto them as father figures as a way of crafting their own identity. But enough with the jokes, because hardcore is no laughing matter!! Thank god some Tumblrbros are here 2 set teh record straight:
OBVIOUS TROLL IS SUCCESSFUL
Fucking dying bro, he captured the essence perfectly.
IHNs they exist now…my friend added me to some group on Facebook called Bay Area Hardcore(the scene sucks here btw. Only a few good bands. Way too tr00) and its full of such faggotry as this. Everybody hates everything that isn’t Trapped under ice, backtrack, or 90s stuff bc it’s “authentic”
I live 2 hours south of the Bay, and can confirm this. TBH it’s been that way for years, except I thought the Bay hated everything except Ceremony/Touche Amore.
The obvious exceptions being OBHC and all those old dudes, but I don’t see them as much anymore because they’re probably doing productive things like raising families and working.
RIP Powerhouse
IHNs are sadly growing in number every day… the irony being that they were still shitting their diapers when the awful 90′s bands they jock were first putting out records!
It’s such a bummer that hardcore is becoming yet another haven for aspie, butthurt fggts who live to correct you on minor factual errors and lord their knowledge of obscure, shitty bands over you. Wait, it was always that.
Sad 4 my roots :(
It depends on who you know, I suppose. We never had that great of a scene in Grand Rapids back in the day, but those who were part of it never stooped to lows like the ones you pointed out. Maybe if it were bigger then…?
… probably just midwest hick logic…
Always lulz at people ‘from the Bay’ b/c it usually means you’re from some shitty town like Pinole or Pittsburg or Brentwood or Walnut Creek. Oakland and SF have a lot of great bands right now, all cool bros who just wanna shred sick licks and smoke doobies. Def. look into Unchained, Tigon and Que Se Mueran. SF hardcore goes hoarrd and we know how to make party. Besides, when you do end up at a show with bands like Alcatraz, they take their shit so seriously that it becomes a massive joke, it’s awesome. Learn to lol.
vegan and straight edge and from salt lake city?
I bet his poop smells like cupcakes.
his family home evenings must be mosh central
if you could hie thee to kolob would kill with some bass drops and 8 string breakdowns
SAVING THE HARDCORE SCENE BY CORRECTING PEOPLE WHO MAKE JOKES
NO FUN CLUB 2012 STAY TRUE XVX
REAL HARDCORE IS NOT A JOKE AND DESERVES YOUR RESPECT
SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA XVX
BAY AREA BUTTHURT REPRESENT
XMORRISEYX
I MIGHT BE DRUNK AS FUCK FROM BARHOPPING BUT WTF IS XVX??? XOAKLANDX???? TEN-FIVE??? TEN-FIVE-TEN???
sad_trombone.flac
The flac was ripped from a hand-numbered 180g virgin vinyl release, right? OOP?
I can’t believe you had to ask.
This.
FYI it was ripped from the bootleg Lost & Found version NOT the original!!!! Fuck you profiteers of hardcore!
I first saw that Mike Judge thing a week or so ago. Curious, I checked Wikipedia. It’s down now, but at the time the wiki page for Mike Judge mentioned that he was in Judge. I was all, “Ok, that’s neat. Had no idea.”
XxTRUSTED SOURCExX
It was a wizard level troll, man.
The key is in the errors that are small enough to seem real, and un-funny on their own so they dont seem like a troll- for example calling the subgenre “new york crew.” it really is an incredibly piece of work!!
Yeah, this guy is like a sniper.
The best I’ve come up with lately is just repeatedly changing the name of the upcoming Kreator album to “Melodious Bumperspiel” on their wiki.
I didn’t even bother to check facts at first I mean I figured the New York Crew thing was a typo. So I reblogged because I think Mike Judge is awesome and if it was true it would be awesome. Now I look stupid. But that’s what I get for knowing nothing about music made when I was too young to give a shit unless it was literal shit in my diaper.
Tr00 behind-the-scenes fact: After I did the 25 To Life meme, I noticed several egregious errors in the spelling and grammar, but decided to keep them so that it would look more like an clueless Euro was writing it.
*golf clap*
I somehow missed the OG article but fuck I’m dyin. His cred is shot since he didnt catch the sick SAS reference what a fagget
One of the best negative responses I got was from some fggt who sent a message to my ask box, telling me how “4chan nerds” like me were ruining hardcore, and how the (mostly positive responses) to my Hardcore History memes were the reason he hated going on Tumblr. I was going to troll him some more, but once I saw that his blog was named after a Negative FX song, I decided to be nice (via my theory that nobody under the age of 23 actually likes that band, and that directly trolling a mixed up little tryhard would be gratuitous).
That said, although I originally started making these with the intent of attracting the attention (and ire) of stangry hc nerds like those featured above, I’ve been pretty stoked to find that the overwhelming majority of responses are positive ones from little kids who take the memes at face value. Making humorless people butthurt can be funny, but I think the field of anti-trolling (increasing people’s reverence for a subject based on stupid, made-up facts) is sadly underexplored.
my theory that nobody under the age of 23 actually likes that band
i’m almost 34 and *I* feel too young to appreciate them!
I think the field of anti-trolling (increasing people’s reverence for a subject based on stupid, made-up facts) is sadly underexplored
very advanced theoretical platform here… i look forward to pushing the frontiers of this exciting new field with you!
Haha, crucial typo! I meant nobody OVER the age of 23 likes Negative FX (ie: “Bold Syndrome” – when an objectively terrible band is jocked for the purposes of making one appear credible). See also: Little kids who say DYS and SSD are their favorite bands.
Note: I’d still probably lose the faggot contest against the aforementioned kids, however, because the even moar obscure Last Rights ep is one of my favorite hardcore recordings :(
COCA COLA! WE DON’T DRINK NO BOOZE! (NO WAY!)
I live in Salt Lake City and have never seen this kid at any show before.
Neither have i… he must not be a very tr00 kid after all.
lost it at “youth of today, bold, and stretch arm strong” lololol
The Judge singer looks fat in that pic.
I remember seeing a video of Lack of Interest for the first time and I was like, “WTF, how do straightedge dudes get that fat?!?”
/sort of drunk
I never understood fat SxE dudes.
“BEER IS BAD!! TWINKIES AND A WHOLE PIZZA. IT”S GLANDULAR”
Also, I really the Bane one. A lot of the comments on the reposts are “I now love this band even more.” Also, it is so close to what I assume is the reality of bane that I lol.
I fucking hate the bay area, can’t think of a worse area for massive amounts of no fun club fuckheads other than maybe NYC.