How is that hat staying on his head?? IMO it is molded from the same piece of plastic as his hair, and probably houses his hearing array.
You may have heard the term “uncanny valley,” which basically means that when robots or CGI look allllllmost like a real person but not quite, it’s really fucking creepy. It also describes the way I feel like when I watch this video by some kid called AUSTIN JONES, who apparently wants to be the next Beebz or Grayson Chance: like I’m watching a prototype android singerbot, or an alien shapeshifter trying to pass as human. Check out his bizarre video- in b4 ur skin crawls
Notes:
- Subtle heartbeat in the background during the intro, like a heavy-handed attempt at subliminally suggesting his humanity
- The lyrics are a little… off: “Have you ever taken your heart through a paper shredder,” “When I’m back and ready to love again, you’ll live in regret because you don’t have this,” and “I’m too useful to be treated useless.” Feels like the PERL script that generates fake-but-believable Noam Chomsky paragraphs.
- 1:00 when he says “and that’s crap!” in a super-awkward display of feigned passion it makes me rly uneasy, like when the robot doppleganger talks in this video
- The ‘soaring vocal moment’ at 3:08 makes me want to hide under a rock
Read this in the voice of the computer from “Wargames“
IMO he looks one of those creepy 90′s Duracell commercials. You know what I’m talking about, the ones with the plastic family or whatevs.
How awkwardly smiley he is as he poses very negative questions invokes a very Stepford Wives-y kind of aesthetic. “Have you ever taken your heart through a paper shredder? : D”
pretty sure those questions are taken from the scientology personality inventory, which would answer the creepiness question
“Hey mom can I throw a party tonight?” “Tonight?” “Yeah.” “Yeah, sure.”
SAID NO PARENT EVER.
It’s shit like this that gave me unrealistic expectations about being a teenager. At 1:14 I thought she was gonna take a hit from a blunt instead of eating a carrot or whatever.
@1:42 looks like “Hayden Ashley” is trying to win over that dick
whoa somebdy call the cops that party is out of control!!
wo0o0d show up w/ scumbag steve to smash dem jailbaits/10
lol’d.
You have the ability all on ur own brah <3
Mirin that Wargames reference, a Matthew Broderick classic!!
I thought dat movie was pretty boss even though I watched it only a few years ago (srs).
hahaha I salute your trawling of the open internets for awkward shit like this.
First: hard facts, he’s not hawt enough to be a star, for the mainstream anyway. If he put on a parrot wig and some lv 99 faggot attire he could be the next BOTDF.
PARROT WIG: +4 to faggotry; can be used during random encounters to cast CHARM on jailbait
Also lowers defense by -30, and adds additional -45 penalty against characters of masculine alignments
“I’m back and better than ever, baby” so gay.
Getting off with dat 5/10 should be easy brah.
“I’m back and better than ever, baby”, said the talking toaster after its most recent firmware upgrade.
Ominously..
Notice the contradiction on the shirt: anti-conformity slogan whilst the faceless picture could be some mass produced android wearing a wig and waistcoat . /I need to do something useful.
Why is that a contradiction? I’ve never met a nonconformist who couldn’t be a mass-produced android. The only inaccuracy is that the nonconformists usually wear black shirts.
Spot on.
See also:
A) The Goth kids in South Park
B) Pretty much every teenage Goth ever.
JUST BECAUSE A NON-CONFORMIST DOESN’T MEET UR STEREOTYPES DOESN’T MEAN THAT HE DOESN’T CONFORM TO THE IDEALS OF LIBERAL WHITE CULTURE.
Stop judging people.
This is… really unsettling. Generally you either have talented kids who get recognized by mediabros and they capitalize on that talent, like with Justin Bieber (who has some seriously good jams bee tee dubs) or you get kids with no talent / unmarketable talent who are just doing their own thing because they’re into it, like 90% of hardcore bands.
This is the first time I’ve seen a DIY (I’m assuming since it’s rly bad) radio pop… thing. I keep struggling for what to write here because I have so many thoughts but my mind is so bottled right now I’m just going to leave it at this.
good point. diy seems to mean nothing now except that no one with money likes you
also: those eyes = fear-inducing. would this mandroid feel it if you dissected him like a science experience?
if i’m not mistaken the biebz was spotted by a grown man with a noted michael jackson fetish specifically watching youtube for underage white boys
You just described every label exec ever.
lolololololol
Sgt D reporting 4 duty sir
LOOK UP DAT O-TOWN/HOWARD STERN POST LOLZ X-D
His friend in the car said to instead of too.
I think these lyrics would work a lot better with a female singer.
my black jeanz are for lounging. my grey jeanz are for partying with my bros
Enpedestalment should cover this.
i support this idea
This is the gayest shit i’ve ever seen.
apparently you haven’t seen a rammstein concert =P
his mum looks like the older stripper at the strip club, that doesnt strip anymore, but just works behind the bar but still flirts with you as if shes 18
Lolololol this– ‘hey sugar, you come here to party?’ in a raspy voice, followed by a wink of her wrinkley eye
Too much real life (srs)
wrinkley eye
dying
Lights up 3 cigarettes at once and offers you one
ROTFLMFAO!!!!
Two 100 rubles, a couple of whiskey shots onto da next bar, a pint of STONE IPA, a pint of firestone walker union jack IPA, a pint of a hebrew IPA, two nice cocktails in, n a nice order of del tacos burritos in….. i still say this is da funniest shit EVER!!! too truuuu for real life…
gimme a poll or opinion what should i make my first post on???
can’t be too mean since this is sgt. D’s rulez lol
BRB researchin’ Plagiocephaly online in order to white knight his attention-starved mother.
Awkward dancing friend, just like Rebecca Black.
In fact that kid’s move at 2:45 reminds me of this gem:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r6FpEjY1fg8
i am fucking sick of lego-person hair.
Wonder if he’s full of milk the robot from Alien
Yo I’m scurred dawg. Robitts amongst us.
No homo @ 1:54, and a super creepy/awkward hair touch @ 2:50
It figures that the reptilian agenda has advanced to the point where they’re trying to create a tween ginger pop sensation.
There’s a whole crop of these types on Twitter. Bizarrely popular, heavily-followed, tween idles*. All identikit and utterly asinine. It’s one of the most glib reminders of my own mortality and the ravages of age.
Think there’s probably a post in it.
*yes, this is a deliberate reference
MYSPACE BACK
The fuck is with the dude in the blue checkered shirt next to him?
do you even personality, brah?
This guy looks like an 18 year old version of the kid that won Australia’s Got Talent in 2011.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UuolIZlEyg&feature=related
he loox like a fggt =/
this robot is a master in the art of deception. for instance: iphone instead of droid = deep undercover.
‘you fool, your communication device says ‘DROID’ on it– the humans will see right through your disguise!!’
The fact that the label is called Tyrell Records, a subsidiary of Skynet Entertainment is a bit of a tip-off doe..
inb4 his birthday is August 29, 1997
The fucked up thing is, he looks young enough for this to be the case.
inb4 we have to administer a Voight-Kampff test and call in Rick Deckard to retire ‘Austin Jones’
1. I am pretty sure that this kid is one of Donald Trump’s illegitimate offspring, the hair, man oh man.
2. The mom, is she cross eyed? Sweet, “mom, can I throw a fake party” OK SHUN, I WUV YOU.
3. The kid dancing around the dude in the party scenes looks like he might break loose at any moment and hump the kids leg off
4. Dude, you can do better than the fat faced post pre-teen broad you got in the video……
I love teen angst, you have it all figured out my friend. LOL
4. Dude, you can do better than the fat faced post pre-teen broad you got in the video……
But dude, she’s the hottest bish in Wyoming!
me an scumbag steve are so dere =D
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simulacrum
This kid is a mere copy without an original. He is probably a replicant but doesn’t know it like in Blade Runner.
Austin Deckard
Lololol I didn’t see this before I commented
WTF is that kid in the blue flannel doing @ 42 seconds. hahHAHAH. seriously that shit is killing me.
I wasn’t even going to bother watching the vid but got too intrigued about the guy in the flannel. Now that I’ve seen it I can’t stop laughing….thank you! (srs)
dat typo flashing across the screen @ 1:55
mirin ur production values
Actually reminds me of the little kid from AI after puberty hit him like a ton of bricks.
“mentos,the freshmaker”,this had that esl vibe of euro commercials broadcast here.Also pretty sure this fake human has no parts=he is smooth like a ken doll.
I never saw Stepford Wives, but assuming all their kids were like this. Wanna-be pop stars, but not really even kind of famous or with the capability to be famous ever. Its creepy and sad.
Also I’m pretty sure every high school has that one kid who’s music isn’t just like kinda bad, or too weird, or poorly made but whatever, but actually so bad they need to show people for the rest of their life because its so embarrassing while being easy to make fun of instead of just being bad on its own. That’s this kid for a lot of people.
http://www.myspace.com/andyandthemakeoutbandits
This is my instance of said phenomenon. I have been out of high school for 5 years.
Those vocals! Reminds me of mine, which i will not dig through the depths of myspace to find.
It’s like this generations “Jessie’s Girl.”
Am I rite?!
watcha talkin’ bout bro??? its this generations :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sGUG1aCUY2o
The kid in the blue flannel got some sick movez.
Would bet hundreds of dollars that he is a loser try-hard who thinks Austin is ‘super cool’ and ‘totally gonna be famous one day’ and thus hangs with him for those reasons alone.
It was p weird until the music slowed down. Holy fuck, then it just became Excorcist levels of creepiness. The way it slows down is like if a fucking computer were trying to imitate the feeling of sadness but if you bros notice, there’s still something upbeat to it and the vocals begin to echo and slow down a bit. *shivers* It’s as if the robot facade is about to be revealed in a sudden plot twist but when it doesn’t happen, you’re even more creeped out than before.
There IS a hell, believe me, I’ve seen it.
“You need to leave. Any girls under a 6 aren’t allowed”
what the fuck is up with his “love interest”? Did she look at the ark of the covenant or something?
Oh.
So if Justin Bieber was creepy, devoid of emotion, and borderlining on scene but not quite there, this is what would happen.
I see.
I’m just glad to see Kevin McCallisters parents finally caring about him.
Sometimes I wonder if there is a cabal of rich chickenhawks who finance this shit just because it provides a legal and legit way to hang out with young bros. Like a Lou Pearlman Appreciation Society.
LOLOLOLOL
Holy shit, that Choamsky generator is hilarious.
I half expected to read “Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?” somewhere in the middle there.
He deleted our Youtube revelations. All hope is lost.
Dat dere vibrato…. sounds like he’s trying to imitate The Academy Is
I want to blast his mom in the face, then have her make me some pizza rolls.
Oops…
http://postimage.org/image/gfnsi5s2l/
Lolololololol
the cherry on the top of the sundae that is this comments
Oh god that is amazing! You should do one with the questions about his mother, from the first scene. Still, amazing work A+++++
Also, Blade Runner is my favourite film of all time, so this pleases me greatly.
Can’t do :( Came to epifunny that those robotic eyes are like heroin to my weak addictive ways. Thanx to Sarge, I have obsessed…this banshee has usurped 5.79 hours of my life (luckily, work hours :)
outb4 I stalk his cross-eyed mom, bang her and make the robot call me “Daddy”
Too advanced….too dangerous…O.O
http://austinjonesmusic.tumblr.com/post/12579451270/cheatercheaterbestfriendeater-cover-d
You need to break out of it bro! Look away from those cold, dead eyes. Do not heed their call, lest you become one of the first Quislings of the machine uprising, and turn upon your human brothers and sisters!
Also, lost it at “make the robot call me Daddy”
Thanks for the support, bro…came out mostly unscathed.
But last night did ask the AZN if she wanted to Cosplay with a blond wig and some eye crossing at smash time! (-) (/)
Potential android nature aside, I think Austin realizes what bollocks he’s peddling, he’s just maximizing that mid-teen poon window for himself by writing oversentimental engrish garageband pop. For a really accurate teen video we need the real shit; some drunken fingerbanging, paralytic kid that drank too much and one guy who dropped some pills and is dancing around like a loon….wait, that last one’s covered.
Vomiting. Don’t forget vomiting. Lots of “I have no idea how alcohol affects me”-vomiting.
so how much of the stuff in these videos is intentional/ironic? i just feel like so much media in general these day is supposed to be interactive (like intentionally shitty so you can react to it with yr hilarious friends) even with this robot i think some of this must be tongue-in-cheek?
i guess wat i am asking is are we his fans (srs)
Is this one of those music videos the kid gets as a Bar Mitzvah present from his rich Jewish parents?
really into his facebook posts
”
Every woman, no matter what, is beautiful.
Unless they’re a bitch. Then they’re uglyyyyy. ”
great whiteknighting switch…
sarg, do you really get what this site is about?
Hey guys, knock it off. He’s established the fact that he’s way too useful to be treated useless. He has many great skills, such as being good and lovely, as well as having the ability.
Pretty sure the dude just white knighted himself.
I N C E P T I O N
+5
Wat
This is too much awkward to handle
Every single edit in this video is bad. Every single one. I’ve never seen anything more poorly edited than this steaming pile of shit.