I consider myself a pretty chill bro via graduating from Sarge’s School for Wayward, Butthurt Boys. I try not to get too worked up over anything and really just concentrate on achieving sick hang outs with friends and also Skyrim. For some reason, Snorg Tees makes me raeg harder than a beardo, oldcore bro being told that Fucked Up is merely “ok”. I went to Snorg’s site to do a bit of research for this post and I could just feel my blood boiling. Maybe it’s because I’m super jelly that some mediocre bros created a successful business model via “give us money because you enjoy someone else’s intellectual property”. Maybe it’s because, despite being a normal bro, the customers of Snorg Tees make me want to Altered Beast into a Level 10 High School Jock and shove them into lockers and loot their lunch money. In my head, I imagine Monty Python fans wearing socks with sandals buying mediocre wit in hopes that it will turn them into a gash-hound life-of-the-party type when, in reality, these damn shirts will net them a small nod-smile/”Oh. That’s funny” combo. For whatever reason, Snorg sets me off harder than Threadless, Jinx, ThinkGeek, or anything else.
For the uninitiated, Snorg Tees is a “I’m funny by way of what it says on my clothing” company that puts whatever Abed from Community says on a T-shirt. AKA 99% of what girls are wearing on their upper body when they take nerd-baiting photos for facebook, tumblr etc. AKA what mediocre nerds use as jizzrags to clean up all the Joy Cum after Ejaculaughing so hard at whatever Star Trek reference Sheldon just made on CBS’s Comedy-ish 22 Minute Viewable Broadcast #3.
Here’s why we need to grab the pitchforks:
I’ve heard of science shirts
I think this is why I despise Snorg Tees so much. These “I’ve heard of a science thing” shirts are insufferable. If you actually ARE a psychologist and you wore the Pavlov’s dogs shirt you’d probably get a pity laugh at best, (along with coming across as the equivalent of the guy who wears the tshirt of the band he is going to see) so the fact that you’re just some shlubby nerd trying to prove that you’ve heard of terms before, everyone outside of your college improv group thinks you’re an asshole.
The only time it is acceptable to wear this: You are trying to seduce your science teacher right before you kill yourself.
This shit isn’t even pretentious, it’s annoya-sad. “Haha get it? Electrons! Ok, back to voiding the warranty on my fleshlight”. It’s also only the “sexiest” sciences/scientists that show up on these shirts. What I mean is: you won’t find Aspergersy dudes and tumblrsluts rocking Joseph Lister shirts. You can/should respect scientists but your piece of clothing that essentially says “I used Wikipedia once and/or watched ¾ of a TED talk” probably makes scientists want to curbstomp you. Do you know what scientists do when they go home from their job? They cook a mediocre dinner and watch Sportscenter, or go out with their friends, or read some novel that has nothing to do with how amaaaaazing science is. They hate you and your staggeringly remedial grasp of science. Let’s put it in condescending music expert terms: to the classically-trained pianist of a scientist, you know a metric Nickelback’s worth about science. You’re a bad person and you should feel bad.
As the rustling of sweatpants grows louder behind her, Felicia Day gasps and turns. This is the last thing she sees as the plastic bag goes over her head.
Are You Amused by Remembering Things?
Another forehead vein-pulsingly insufferable trend of Snorg is the “making money off clever takes on other people’s intellectual property”. Basically, Snorg is like the dudes setting up shop a few hundred feet away from the baseball stadium selling Philadelphia Philies and Baltimore Orange Bird tshirts without the official MLB logo on them. Also, they’re printed on Jerseeyz-brand shirts or something. I just think it’s a little fucked up that “look I combined two things you like! Now give me money!” is a successful business model. I’m not some grumpy old capitalist dude where I’m gonna be like: “80% of that money should go to NBC or FOX or Joss Whedon’s forehead!” or whatevs because, they have their money already, fuck them. I just chug rageahol at some dickfuck with screen printing ability thinking they’re a visionary genius because “zomg what if the cast of Community wuz Star Wars characters?! Quick, order me all the ‘distressed’ tees in Christendom posthaste!” Private individuals can go ahead and create art inspired by things they like; but I hate that your cover band of a clothing company pays your mortgage.
Fuck. You.
Get it?! Do you get it?! Wear this hot number and you’ll be the absolute TALK of whatever Devin Townsend and his Jamberoo Fuckfest show you’re attending.
Chicks would rather tongue-bath George R. R. Martin’s undertit after he climbs a flight of stairs in a building with no A/C than go near anyone wearing this snappy garment.
Nerd Baiting Uniform
Much like how Sarge pointed out how girls don’t really like metal, girls don’t like nerdy stuff. Let me rephrase that: WOULDN’T like nerdy stuff if it didn’t provide them with the amount of “big fish in a small pond” attention that it does. Snorg tees are the official uniform of Team Nerdbait. “Holy shit, YOU like Doctor Who?! (cue Katrina-amounts of precum devastating dude’s New Orleans underwear) You should let me put my sonic screwdriver in your…” I don’t know, whatever in the Doctor Who universe most closely resembles a vagina… I’ve watched literally one episode of that show and I was mostly bored.
And he’s here to remove your penis so as to spare whichever chick passes out first at the next party you go to!
In fact, Snorg Tees catches most people’s attention with their internet ads featuring models making faces that would lead you to believe they were born with an extra chromosome. Snorg is very shrewd and recognized they should employ the first rule of the internet: show ladies to get people to look at your stuff. For some reason (well, I guess THE reason), the chuds at Snorg let the ladies have a platform to show how painfully generic they are via videos on YouTube that remind me of those porn vids that have the “interview” at the beginning where the chick tells you all the interesting origin stories of her tattoos and how long she’s been in LA and blah blah blah:
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDo8uETC7K8&version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0]
Go ahead and ask this chick whether she chose to keep Azura’s Star or make the Black Star instead. She’ll absolutely know what you’re talking about.
I guess that is the root of it; the fact that all of these shirts are just juvenile, disposable nerd baiting dreck. There is a beautiful irony in that, worn by a male, these shirts will guarantee female disdain. Worn by a woman, dudes will be tripping over their boxes upon boxes of McFarlane toys to blather on about how this chick is “Cool. Not like other chicks”. You could learn to be funny yourself without your tshirt having to deliver the punchline or some droll observation about nerd culture. You could just like the things you like without being obnoxious via thinking you’re special due to your incorrectly perceived stance of having “fringe” interests when, in reality, millions and millions of people like the same damn games, shows, and movies you do. Or you could be a walking, smeg-filled whoopie cushion with the CBS logo on the side of it.
Egh, I guess every White Knight needs his curiass.
A note from the author: I had to make a god damned Sophie’s Choice every time I picked a tshirt design to put in the article. It was so hard to decide which design truly embodied the fucktardedness of that dumb company and the unfunny people who ply their wares. So, that being said, minigame: Go there yourself and try and raeg hard than I did!
Are u the “wacky one” in ur group of friends? Would you drink Felicia Day’s workout crotch runoff? Have u heard of Game of Thrones yet? How long have u been holding out 4 that gurl that totally gets u and ur nerdy hobbies?
This some truth right here. I don’t think anything epitomizes the mentality of folks who wear these shirts better than when I was in 7th grade, and no less than five homely kids with Tripp pants had a shirt that said “You laugh because I’m different, I laugh because you’re all the same.”
OH GOD
This. We use to call them jingly pants at my school.
Oh god. When one kid in them walked by my friend just started singing Jingle Bells and he gave the most butthurt, “I’m going to make this place the next Columbine” look ever. Never not funny.
I know that feel, bro.
so accurate, so fucking accurate. i was gonna follow up with a comment of my own but there is literally NOTHING i could say that you havent already said better,
“In my head, I imagine Monty Python fans wearing socks with sandals buying mediocre wit in hopes that it will turn them into a gash-hound life-of-the-party type when, in reality, these damn shirts will net them a small nod-smile/”Oh. That’s funny” combo.” THIS
you know they walk out of their cave or whatever wearing that shirt to whatever menial job they do just waiting wondering anticipating the day that they have always dreamed about, the day when that cute girl from starbucks (the same place they go every fucking day for years just bcos she works there, and smile awkwardly at while giving themselves false hope cos “she always smiles at me and i really think we have chemistry” when in reality it is just their job to be nice at you + they work for tips) will notice his little chemistry joke shirt, laugh hysterically and then he will know “its on”.
oh wait i managed to comment fine raeg/10
and you know aswell that theyre gonna go and combo whatever geeky funny shirt they bought with an ironic blazer because hey thats querky or something and a long greasy ass pony tail. oh and some like old ass fucking huge DC or like Airwalk skate shoes.
LOL @ airwalks. Could we be seeing a comeback of those via 90′s worship?
Its already happening man. All the Scene Deathcore girls turned urban hip hop mistresses that I have added on dat F-book (lots – im a perv) spend most of their free time reblogging pictures of Airwalks with accompanying captioons declaring them to be ‘trill’ or whatever
+baggy ass, too long overwashed jeans with a canvas belt
Fuck this comment depressed me
This whole comment is #fitspo.
“Dude, I’m too sore to lift today after rolling with Rafa yesterday.”
“Bro, read the first comment on the last SYWH post.”
New deadlift PR/10
i think you’re going a bit overboard by calling The Big Bang Theory “viewable”
also mirin’ the boots/leggings on the girl in the video, you have the ability, please be safe from neckbeards
Yeah, as much as I got butthurt about everything, still wood smash video girl in da butt even after Room-Temperarture Taco and Oyster Night.
she better have dem nice tigo bitties if not i call shenanigans!!!
also, people that wear this shit http://www.comparestoreprices.co.uk/images/fa/family-guy-evil-monkey-t-shirt-brv_11716000.jpg
really like how they included the shot of the back, cause I would’ve never assumed it to be blank if they had showed nothing.
This is the adult equivalent of buying scooby doo underwear when you were a child.
No it’s not.
+1 for the Sophie’s Choice comment, inserting holocaust references into a nerdbaiting post never-not-funny. Ashley Pridgen (the Snorg girl) is having her tits cut-off, so further proof that pro nerd-baiting makes girls retahded & the universe will punish them.
wtf would she cut her tits off for? They were the only thing I wanted to look at in that picture
YEA WTF!!
that shit ain’t kewl =/
i saw that model video and all i saw was dem nice twins =]
As a tr00 assburger, I was repulsed by all of these shirts. There is absolutely nothing good about being weird, and ppl advertising to the world about how “lol zany look at my shirt” makes me feel like a Native American getting pissed off at a white girl for wearing one of those big feathered headdresses. Don’t appropriate faggot culture for mainstream consumption.
Also, the holocaust>>>>>>>>arrow to the knee jokes.
U paleface call them “warbonnet”. And it’s Asperger, but nice try.
I know it’s called Asperger. It’s called making fun of yourself.
DON’T YOU GET ASPY ON ME YOUNG MAN, I WILL SEND YOU STRAIGHT TO YOUR ROOM WITH NO STEAM ACCESS 4 SKYRIM!!!
BUT MOOOOOOOM RUNESCAPE JUST CAME OUT WITH A NEW QUEST TODAY PLS LET ME PLAY IT!!!!!!!!!
that joke is not funny i totally didn’t get the reference whatsoever because i am so old.
It’s funny to me because that conversation happened so many times irl.
BUT…BUT… DA STEAM SALEZ!!!!
Not sure how relevant but like all the self-diagnosed assburger symptoms point to mild ADD, which is what I have. Vicariously embarrassed for all the special snowflakes who could easily be cured with 20 mg of adderall.
my butt will hurt so bad when those shirts will be a thing in a couple of years here in yourope
where are you exactly for this to not be a thing?
i’ve had this crap going on for YEARS. even worked in the warehouse of an online clothing company that had stuff like this among the “normal people clothes.” pissed me off everytime someone ordered that shit knowing they had been sitting by their comp going ‘hyuk-hyuk-hyuk’
http://www.facebook.com/gorillatshirts#!/gorillatshirts here’s that specific ‘brand.’ also the guy behind it was a drugdealer in my town. best of both worlds.
Yeah, I’ve been seeing snorg ads since myspace. b een around a while i think
never seen a snorg add in my life (srs). was moar asking where in jewrope is he to not have a similar company peddling crap to morons
Italy bruv, we’re so lazy that we’re late even for ghey trends
not seen any in europe to be fair, however the UK is all over this shit and has been for like 10 years unfortunately.
I recall seeing loads of film/sitcom/”nerd” related shirts while in london, but I thought it was just a temporary trend, like neon shirts, shade shutters etc.
Shit’s sad for the brits if it’s been going for all this time, but if after such a long period of time it isn’t a thing yet here in (sh)Italy, chances are that it will never be, and that makes my butt safe (for now)
italians are a thousand times mpre alpha male than most people here, thats why hah
In Britain there is this company that does what this one has done but for the last 10 years called Meat and Cheese. Face it bro, it’s not gonna stop being a thing.
“Would you drink Felicia Day’s workout crotch runoff?”
Is that even a question? Would wife her 16-bit avatar/10
Would wife her 16-bit avatar/10
irl giggled at this
It’s weird, I don’t even think she’s that physically hot, like a 6 at best, but for some reason I could totally wife/10.
Wait… do you think I’m actually caring about… personality on a girl above looks? brb going gay :(
actually caring about personality
Of all the decent to hot looking chicks that are nerd-famous, I think she’s the one that strikes everyone as the “real deal,” so to speak, probably because she’s not a solid ten and sort of comes across as nerd-annoying, so you can buy it.
Easier to swallow than that perfect 10 wearing a star wars shirt who is “lol totally a nerd!”
Mirin’ that bish’s huge juggs
Such a pity she’s a zany nerdbaiter :(
I lol’d @ some of ur snappy remarks bro, and 100% agree that this kind of faggotry is one of the worst examples of white foolishness ever. great post!
In b4 VyceVictus & every other brotha in the world shaking his head in vicarious embarrassment :(
i lol’d
Actually, I think it’s funnier how mad all y’all niggas are. This seems like vanilla junior high white foolishness to me but people are catching some serious deep seeded feelings bout this stuff reaching back into their childhood. Oh well, this all seems like the white version of those thugged out looney tunes character shirts from the 90′s; as ludicrous as it may have been, cant reall get mad cuz you know niggas gonna nig.
Oh, and Sgt D’s School for wayward butthurt boys totally sounds like some 70′s italian gay porno.
i always assumed there was a deeper semiotic element to those shirts like the patterns in slave quilts
Spitbeerlaughing/10
lol’d at “niggas gonna nig” via being a racist white.
This x100000, hard lol
I don’t encounter many of those t-shirts anymore via not surrounding myself with complete social pariahs
But yeah, all of these shirts are the senior-year-of-high-school to college aged equivalent to those terrible “graphic tees” that are sold at Kohls or Target and are eaten up by middle schoolers
Fucking this. I used to be the kind of weenie who would wear that shit in grade 6, except instead of shirts with gay pop culture references on them, it would be shirts with some sort of “witty” phrase on them. It was always, always, ALWAYS a black shirt with white font.
Nowadays I see kids at school, kids older than ME, still wearing shit like that and I shake my head at their fggtry.
My parents keep buying me those for birthdays and shit (just to make it lamer I’m 20 years old), wouldn’t even wear them for doing jobs around the house that if I wore a good shirt for it would get ruined.
I own a Big Dog Larry the Cable Guy shirt. I have not touched it since I hung it up in the back of my closet. I feel like with all the untouched groce novelty shirts out there we could rly make a different in the lives of some unclothed orphans or something.
GPOY :(:(
Its amazing how many websites have popped up over the last few years selling these really really shitty shirts like this over the last few years, and they all manage to have 5.5/10s modelling every time.
Once in awhile when I’m bored and an ad for one of these websites pop ups I’ll take a look at them but its usually a bad idea because I end up mad. Theres usually really half assed photoshop work on them as well. I saw an ad for one of these websites and the girl was wearing a shirt that said “I’m Ok” and around her right hip area was a big bloodstain, even in the little banner ad you could tell though that the guy who designed it just drew the top half and then flipped it vertically and made a few small changes, I hope he didn’t get paid more than a 10 dollar Carl’s Junior gift card for that work.
Saw that one. Rolled a 20 on my Buttmad. Fuck, I just designed a tshirt there! No one steal that!
critical strike on own anus
brb…sending new design/resume to Snorg!!!
http://s11.postimage.org/7wtzku0qb/Rolled20_Buttmad.jpg
btw <3 2 ur post
Also when is that shitty “Communist Party” shirt going to die? Every time I think it is gone I run into some moron talking about it like its brand new.
My best friend did this at the age of 19. Got a solid 4/10 girlfriend. I do not speak to him often now. srs.
altered beast?? are you kidding me haha chillest game ever!
The best of these jokes would belong better as a picture you like and nothing that involves going on your body, ownership, or money. The worst of them belong tattooed to the heads of idiot neckbeards “designing” this shit and pretending to be clever. Really feel bad for anyone buying these outside of middle school.
http://mediacdn.snorgcontent.com/media/catalog/product/y/o/youreprekoalafiedbrown_fullpic.png
^^^That one made me rage, Koala for no reason. Its dumbness overpowers the cuteness and makes me so angry.
I’m looking through these thinking if I had to wear one all day in a crowd of people which would be least embarrassing, and its a tough question. Going with this one:
http://mediacdn.snorgcontent.com/media/catalog/product/h/o/hooraynavy_fullpic.png
For the sheer lack of effort involved and minimal attention grabbing, despite still looking offensively disgusting.
i fucking lost it at that second tee
omg
would wear to a zany party non-ironically and make a fool drunk/10
+1
why did I laugh so hard at that 2nd one? feeling ashamed.
This. Nevermind the fact that these shirts are grating at best, it’s the “paying for manufactured pseudo-wit so everything about me is summed up via the most basic of garments” that activates my butthurt. There’s this very annoying tendency within gaming/nerd culture to latch onto it like it’s some super secret counterculture and then make everything they do/wear/say/own about how nerdy they are.
I’m all about talking about/bro’ing down over nerdy stuff but it’s just tiresome when it’s ALL you’re about and you need to advertise that to EVERYONE. Maybe just like the things you like and don’t be obnoxious about it.
Only the Black Star is real, due to a glitch in the game it can absorb both black and white souls (I believe) and therefore is infinitely more useful. Dumb slut probably went with Azura’s star because she felt obligated to Aranea, but only those with the fortitude to betray all NPCs deserve true Skyrim-glory.
i accidentalied Azura’s star, had to console command it so I got the Black Star too. infinitely more useful!
holy fuck I hate these shirts. If i had to wear a snorg t-shirt, or a big dog t-shirt, big dog 100%.
DEFEND TR00 LUKE SKYBARKER
There is some All Out War video where the guitarist is wearing a Big Dog shirt.
God damn, imo Big Dog is the funniest brand ever. I’ve been having a terrible day, thanks for making me laugh this hard (srs)
i always thought big dog was like big johnson but for people who go to a nice church and don’t vacation in myrtle beach
There is some All Out War video where the guitarist is wearing a Big Dog shirt
YES! I believe this is when they played the newburgh skate park in 92, awesome video. One guitarist has a camo Jackson or something too, and Mike looks like he is about 5′ tall. Best video
Dude your interview with AOW should have included a question where you open up the video, point to the Big Dog shirt, and say, “care to elaborate?”
Its crazy how I loved All Out War to begin with, but loved them even more after this hilarious brand choice.
myself and SYWH commenter Girl U Gay!’s hardcore band played a festival in charlotte a few years back. there was an outlet mall that we stopped at along the way and we thought it would be a great idea for all of us to go to the Big Dog outlet and purchase shirts to wear that day. mine mimicked the scene in spider-man where he’s hanging upside down and kiersten dunst kisses him…i think his was “obey big momma dog” or something. needless to say, no one thought it was hilarious and no one was very friendly to us…as it should be.
LOL does the Big Dog brand still exist?!? I have not seen anyone rock one of those in YEARS. Rly hope it makes a strong comeback soon.
There is a Big Dog outlet store about 30 min from where I live. God only knows how it is still open.
DUDE me too! Its at the Gilroy shopping outlets (Northern California). I giggle every time I pass it on the freeway. One day I’ll go in there and buy a “Big Dog on Campus,” or maybe even a “Lukeskybarker” if I’m feeling bold.
I see them ALL the time in places like Cleveland
“places like Cleveland”
I hope they come back too. I got a Big Dog Hawaiian shirt at Goodwill for a company luau and need another reason to wear it!
I don’t want to turn this into a 12-step meeting, but whenever I hit up the outlet mall in Metaluma (same chain as Gilroy mall) it’s 1.Vans 2.Coach 3.Big Dog (then whatever the girl I’m there with wants to go to), NO FUCKS GIVEN. Extensive collection of dog-related groaner-pun shirts via being close to 40.
LMFAO!!! fucken ded…
big dog to me is a brand that one of those fatty over the hill white people that have diabetes/high cholesterol/some kind of health problem wear to go shop for other retarded entry level mall-wear or just to go touring around the country in their winnebago =/
@ least my brown people have the decency to wear the bootleg/cooler design ones w/ tough mean boxers/bulldogs on the back n shit brahs… fuck that wimpy beethoven shit …
Black star + mace of Molag Bal combo, bro. Fuck someone up with an enchanted mace, steal their soul, recharge your mace with it.
It’s a self-sustaining ecosystem of destruction! Hoping Megadeth doesn’t sue me for stealing their next album title!
Wouldn’t be surprised if they got sued for the Lannister design, from what I’ve heard Martin’s big on protecting his intellectual property.
Also I love how even though the newer Moffat series’ of Dr Who is extremely popular with Tumblr chicks I’ve never seen a single one of them even mention anything about Dr Who pre-2005.
I’m friends with a ton of huge fucking nerds (e.g. bowler hat, ponytail, never bathe) and I think they would think this stuff is too embarrassing to wear.
Groce :(
I’M OSTRACIZING U BRO!
bowler hat, ponytail
fuk
I guess I should be glad to not know what a blower hat is?
It’s like a bowler hat you give blowjobs in.
you should prob suiside yourself :(
Should put a trigger warning before mentioning suiside imo.
you should prob just pull the trig, bish
wait, there’s people that non-ironically wear bowler hats? irl?
Yeah, I play MTG with them. I was staying with my (normal) mtg friends in another city and one of them was like “dude at that last tournament I was at everyone from Dunedin was wearing a hat, what’s up with that?” and I was all “I don’t know man, I don’t know.”
“As the rustling of sweatpants grows louder behind her, Felicia Day gasps and turns. This is the last thing she sees as the plastic bag goes over her head.”
I fucking lol’d. Solid article, bro. Really captures the essence of illogical hatred anyone with half a brain should feel towards this kind of shit.
I remember that the only people who wore these kinda T-shirts where the obese kids at my school. The type of dudes that think Family Guy is the be all end all in comedy (well, it beats Monty Python worship) and who jock Assassin’s Creed p hard. Like, making lame cosplay costumes and acting like aluminium foil knives are “super cool!”
Also, you know your references are entry level when some dude who doesn’t know the difference between Return of the Jedi and Phantom Menace (god, I’m so hoping I got both titles right, inb4 more embarrassment at misspelling obv. shit) and never even touched Skyrim gets the references. So much for being Zany and obscure fggts!
Forgot to mention, I have seen chillbros get away with the science shirts before. They just make a joke about it, make fun of themselves for being “such nerds” and get on with it. Idk, the manner it’s done is so inoffensive and in good fun that it’s never made me raeg. It’s when it’s used as a substitute for personality that it makes me raeg.
nah bro, kill it with fire no exceptions.
the irritating part of that to me is that the references are so entry-level that they aren’t actually ‘nerdy’ at all- like, who doesn’t know what an electron is??
I am totally gonna vote in tha next electron.
+1, LOLD at work, coworkers think I’m weird now. Might as well buy a Snorg tee.
Raffed painfully right here…
Lettuce b cereal for a sec, entry level stuff is much more tolerable than if it was some T-shirt with some super advanced level science reference. Just imagine what kind of people would get that kinda T-shirt. On the other hand, some chill dude that’s goofing off can have some fun at what he likes. It’s the lesser of two evils.
i’m not sure which is worse; lame entry level science ref shirts or the more than one person i knew in grad school who got tattoos of shit like manifold and meromorphic function formulae
i had one of these types of shirts i’d wear occassionally to bars bout 4 years ago. then i realized i looked like a dipshit.
I like monty python…..But srsly, why all the MP hate on SYWH? I don’t get it?
Fuk u, Lyfe of Brian! Suk mah dikk John Cleese! Aarrghhh! Fawty Towers U ARE PIECE OF SHIT I KEEL YOU!!!
To be honest I think it’s less the jokes themselves and more the way they’re repeated ad nauseam in place of wit or personality. Hell, The Life of Brian is still funny but your boring friend shouting “He’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!” is less funny than finding out that you have a week left to live after finally reconnecting to your long-estranged family. This XKCD illustrates it perfectly: http://xkcd.com/16/.
Also, I love how most ‘nerds’ who would wear these fucking shirts probably don’t even understand most of the physics jokes on XKCD mean, via having an entry-level understanding. Whether the jokes are actually funny or not is irrelevant, but at least some of them are actually kind of clever unlike that damn electron shirt.
“To be honest I think it’s less the jokes themselves and more the way they’re repeated ad nauseam in place of wit or personality”
THIS. Nothing makes me rage harder than people repeating catch phrases from popular movies then get upset when you don’t laugh. I usually don’t want to look like an asshole in public, so I end up giving the most half-ass chuckle I can manage which only encourages them further, but inside I am dying of raegahol poisoning.
vote for Pedro
Whenever someone quotes a movie that has been quoted ad nauseum around me I will say “yeah baby” or “you had me at hello”. when they respond with disgust I tell them “that’s what you do, isn’t is gross?”
‘vote for pedro’
That is genius! I’ll remember that technique next time someone quotes Portal.
“Yeah Baby” is only surpassed by “Very Nice” in causing me too rage.
Eh, I don’t like any of that shit or the types of “witty” shirts that you can buy at hot topic or Spencer’s. Though I did invent a game involving them.
You and a bro go to the mall and buy a Witty shirt for each other. The goal is to buy the worst possible shirt you can find, like who in their right mind would wear it. Later you go out to the bars/ parties wearing the shirt your bro got you and compete to see who can get the most numbers/play from the ladies. Pretty much it is putting a handicap on your game then still going for it.
i seriously doubt anyone, you included has ever done this intentionally.
Is my “I’m fat lets party shirt OK”?
As long as you’re wearing a beanie with flames on it.
Only if you’re over 6’0″ and weigh 130 or less.
i did not understand 75% of what those t shirts said.
I feel like an even bigger asshole than normal after reading this because I tried to hammer out of few of these shirts and cash in on some of that nerd money. The line about that crap paying mortgages is the thing. While I wasn’t successful with my designs (hell of market competition) nerds are willing to drop basically any amount of money on any kind of science/bacon/steampunk/zombie or other nerd ip combo merch out there.
Also this: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-things-modern-kids-dont-understand-about-being-nerd/
TY was good read
it’s “cuirass”, queer-ass.
(A+ article though. So spot on.)
I blame Google.
As a D3 player, I got what you were saying.
sorry but i think this Think Geek shirt is fucking hilarious in both an ironic and non-ironic way:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/zoom/no-clue.jpg
i died
moar like LUSERS amirite
entry level query though bruh, like, anyone who took 10 minutes out of their day to learn sql syntax will get that. Let’s get some outer joins and subqueries going on and then we’re talking
LIEK DIS IF UR TIRED OF PPL MAKING ENTRY-LVL SQL JOKES ALL THE TIME!!!
literally no idea what any of that means, feels good.
Think Geek prints on that nasty assed Gildan? Guess somebody hates America
it is amazing to me how buttmad people get about what brand of shirts people use. Seriously it is like their #1 complaint
haha…THIS. We used to give out free shirts at our shitty shows & the obv aspies would immediately look at the tag to see what kind of brand the tee wuz….sometimes with butthurt disgust @ our poor choice in blend/weight of cotton.
extra fggt points for being asshole knowitalls despite not actually knowing anything about textiles- ‘o u h8 Gildan?? please, tell me what kind of silicon wash you recommend for 150gsm yarn-died cotton jersey!’
haha +1
http://s10.postimage.org/u3yot9t3t/da_GSM.jpg
wood wear the shit out of this (srs)
KNIGHTS BRIDGE OR GTFO PHAGGOT!!!!
Dying, this made me laugh my ass off so hard like you don’t even know man.
Reminds of this one, which is pretty crazy / true fucking nerdy / ugly: http://www.cypherspace.org/adam/shirt/uk-front2.jpg
The design would’ve been better with just the perl snippet. The whole story on this is here: http://www.cypherspace.org/rsa/story.html. Its a pretty great hacking story actually — these dudes def. know their perl. Someone got it tattooed as well, as far as I remember….
This fucking post.
You have to give Snorg credit for being geniuses, though. They found a formula they can use to drain cash from nerds, and it works: Old, tired meme + 2 minutes in Illustrator + print onto a shirt = profit. It’s simple, but holy fuck does it work. That’s just another reason to hate them.
They’re the ICP of the shirt biz.
this was a very butthurt post honestly, but I still had many strong lols!
Snorg Tees makes me raeg harder than a beardo, oldcore bro being told that Fucked Up is merely “ok”
Theres a difference between being into the stuff these shirts and actually wearing this pathetic ass shit
Zazzle makes me lose my shit the most in the world, I mean does ANYONE think these are “FUNNY TEES?” http://www.zazzle.com/funny+tshirts
Also anyone who is like, “oh it’s just tee shirts why do you care so much” shut the fuck up because the whole world and everyone who knows how to dress like a normal adult human being has to look at your stupid ass and if you wear Ed Hardy or some fucking Skechers (it’s the S) dress shoes from 2002 you should feel bad and hear about it from someone cuz your friends are too nice to say anything to your face.
I lost it at “it’s the S.”
How do you feel about Busted Tees? I hate most “clever pop/nerd culture” reference shirts but I feel that a lot of Busted’s stuff is genuinely funny.
might actually wear/10
http://4.media.bustedtees.cvcdn.com/c/-/bustedtees.1a09ffbc-878b-4e6a-a55b-78e27436.gif
I have a friend at work who fucking loves this stuff, and I don’t get it because he’s a legitimately funny and chill guy. But here’s the really frustrating part: he’ll be wearing 7 jeans, a $5k omega watch, driving his BMW. . . but wearing a fucking hoodie and one of these bullshit shirts. His collection includes the sure-to-please cookie monster overdose shirt, a “RESIST” shirt w/ resistors making up the text, some shirt w/ the fucking twitter whale on it, and at least 2 ninja turtle shirts. It’s sad. We’re software engineers so “we gotta be careful. . . we can become unfashionable very, very quickly”.
I always hated this “n3rdz r kool nao” culture. I took 3 computer-science classes in high school. Anyone that was really good at it was fucking horrible to be around. Completely srs.
Actual nerds really fucking suck. They don’t shave their necks, they let themselves get fat ass fuck, and they sure as hell do not wear Snorg tees. Snorg tees are for asshole Sheldon Cooper wannabe’s.
as someone who’s taken years and years of CS courses and now involved in the industry, I can confidently say that there is a rare breed of us who are good at it and normal nice dudes! I feel you there, though.
A+++, realized everybody is “really into Batman” but I try not to actually talk about it because I’ll sound like a fucking aspie because really they just watched The Dark Knight twice.
Strong article is super strong!
Back <3 tard
im gonna go out on a limb here and say that i actually enjoy being nerdbaited when its something im interested in. i’ve never seen star wars and could care less about like science and stuff, but back around like 2003-4ish i was working as a bike messenger. there was a group of girls that would kinda hang around with me and my bros. did any of them REALLY care about my theories on why the giro d’italia is a better race than the tour de france, or why flat countries like denmark and netherlands produces cyclists that can really perform well on the mountains? No. did i find a bunch of girls in quasi cycling attire with way too expensive fixed gear bikes that they all probably sold by now cute as hell? you bet i did. they wanted attention and to project an image, they got it. we wanted half hearted HJs in dive bar bathrooms with solid 5.5s, we got em.
I fell asleep, wut happened?
This is a really good analysis of the average “social bullshit” transaction. A+
only Paris–Roubaix is real
TOUR OF FLANDERS YOU FAGGOT
IN OTHER NEWS JAWNS WITH COURIERITIS CAN CATCH IT
RESPECTFULLY,
CURRENT BIKE COURIER
Rubbing mah nutsack allover a Cinelli Mash as we speak. HNNG!
btw i thought this faggotry died in hot topic ages ago, are there really still betas that rock this shit? I might as well start up a cafepress and hop on board the one-way train to shitdick town
also brb checking if cafepress even exists still
srs never thought I could feel gayer than I always do until i watched that video. And that it is a big titted woman goofing around makes it ironic as well. HOW DO I HOLD ALL THESE FEELS
also will allow myself to get nerdbaited into a conversation with girls in soccer jerseys. any team. doesnt matter.
U MEAN FOOTBALL
guilty :(
feelsbadman.co.uk
I never comment, but I had to on this one. A+ post, bro. The whole Katrina/precum bit had me dying. Keep it up.
great article, and these t-shirts are dumb, but i suck as well for having one or two “funny” shirts. one of my favorites was a gift from an SYWH reader that reads “I am married to a saucy 70-year old.” coming off creepy = funny to me i guess.
almost curbstomped some beta when I read about them curbstomping scientist
A+ article as usual, thanks bro
Great post
Chick is kinda cute. Would definitely fuck senseless and wife but good fucking god is she not allowed to wear those shirts EVAR. The dumb shit on those shirts almost made it hard to look at her nice jubblies.
These don’t really get me mad anymore… I only know one guy who wears shirts like these and, true, he can be unbearably annoying, but whenever I start to get butthurt about him, I remember that he “rly wants to work in the theatre industry” and take comfort in the fact that I can laugh at his poor ass while I’m busy actually having a career later in life.
tl;dr I’m an asshole
I know a lot of girls who like Doctor Who. Actually I think I know more girls who like Doctor Who than guys who do.
My point being: Doctor Who is awesome but that shirt does suck. I honestly see this sort of shit more from dudes who think a “funny” shirt is basically a personality rather than girls trying to nerdbait. Girls have The Big Bang Theory to use as nerdbait because “LOL science jokes and Star Wars references, aren’t we so funny?” No, go jump off a building.
Also, the Game of Thrones shirts make my soul hurt. If you make lame GoT references then stick them on a shirt and want money for it I hope you die in a fire
I still don’t know what Game of Thrones is about. All I know is it’s what all the Harry Potter fans watch while waiting for the new Hunger Games movie.
Basically, incest, incest, incest, non-incest sex, killing people, incest and Peter Dinklage saying witty stuff. It is fortunate that there really aren’t a lot of Harry Potter teenage fangirl types, it’s more dorky LOTR/D&D types.
Holy shIt, thIs rage epIsode was awesome!
would wear the electron shirt
Nerd-baiter or not, I wood smash Ashley Pridgen doe
You realize you’re totally invalidated by the fact that people don’t HAVE to buy the shirts if they don’t want to. That’s all business is: giving people what they want.
The only “butthurt” people I see here are the writter and all of the comments by people who really hate a shirt company. Who cares! If people are goofy and wear goofy clothing what difference does it make. I once red an article from some guy who hated Crocks so much that he was about to need therapy. They’re shoes man, just shoes… These are shirts man, just shirts… Why are you so worried about what someone else is wearing; they are obviously not your friend so who cares… Go out and make a video like Gangnam Style or something only with Snorg T-shirts in it.