Back in 2009 or so, it looked like MILLIONAIRES might actually get big. They were good and lovely, and with the right producers they could convincingly pretend like they had the ability. But it was not meant to be: they peaked at playing the Fleshlight stage of Warped 09 to 125 kids at 3:30PM, kind of disappeared for a while, and now they are playing the Gathering Of The Juggalos.
I imagine that accepting the offer to play Gathering makes you feel the same way as shopping in the ‘Meals For One’ aisle at Target: “So this is my life, huh? *sigh* Well, I guess it could be worse…” It’s not so much humiliation as the ‘time decay of ambition,’ the realization that you are entirely willing to settle for less. Like how my mom doesn’t really love my stepdad anymore and vice versa but they stay together because they’re too old to deal with starting over again. And besides, they both know they’re too fucked up and difficult for anyone normal to love them– they deserve each other’s miserable company.
Skip to 12:55 if it doesn’t automagically start there
When non-Juggalo bands play the Gathering, I feel like that is essentially the same thing: playing to a bunch of fat people in clown outfits is probably not exactly what they had in mind, but it’s better than nothing and Juggalos certainly seem easy to please. They’re so used to being shit on by life that they embrace you with wide open arms if you simply treat them like human beings– maybe they aren’t the fanbase you dreamed about as you sang into your hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but like a fat girl who will treat you like a 10 when you know you’re really a 7 at best, there is something hard to resist about people who think you are great simply for acknowledging their existence.
While I am sad that Millionaires did not turn out to be the next Ke$ha or Carly Rae, sometimes that is just the way the cookie crumbles. At some point we all realize that we are not going to be an astronaut or the president. And if you ever do find yourself browsing the aisles of the ‘Meals For One’ aisle or standing on stage in front of a sea of Juggalos, just remember that life is a journey– this too shall pass.
Inb4 The play one song before the crowd attacks them.
Inb4 Tila Tequila.
Was thinking this too
for some reason i see this ending similar to tila tequila playing the gathering. they should do a collabo with fear factory so the could atleast hide behind dino’s fat ass if they get pelted with bottles
Gathering of the Juggalos – last bastion for true nu-metal.
Tho seriously – what the fuck P.O.D.?
That’s what I was wondering.
George Clinton is playing this too which is kind of sad. However, he is probably too old to know what the fuck he is doing or what a juggalo is.
if he’s still on the crack like he was the past few tours there’s a 70% chance he won’t bother showing up
Why not? He shows up everywhere, smokes cracks, drops crack on carpet, rakes up crack, and considers himself immune to crack’s evils. You try it!
i am sure the feeling is fairly mutual with juggalos’ opinions on him.
<3 you Melissa. Asians scenies with 8/10 rax for the win.
Also, so many wtfs in the lineup: Soulfly, Fear Factory, Raekwon, Rhazael. With these they could form an. actually decent, mini-fest.
Clearly this is aimed at those with IQs lower than even most nu-metal fans. The anti-conformity spiel (LOL) and explanation on how to ‘work off ur problems in da pit’ sounds like the bio of some heavily marketed pre-teen metal band, even Linkin Park didn’t need to spell out that bulshit.
Love how the 15 seconds or so they were on screen contained the boobiest of clips on show. Mebbe in an attempt to gain popularity there will be ‘leaked’ nudes?! A man can dream…
village voice did a photo essay on the juggalo fest a few years back and the titties were about what you’d expect from a gathering of trailer trash out in a toxic waste dump
At first I heard Slade, but then realized they mean Slaine. Would’ve bee cool though: “Come on feel the noise, juggalos!”
As said above, having Violent J as her boss probably wasn’t what Melissa had in mind when Millionaires started, but the sad truth is that this will probably be the best crowd they’ve had in years :( I can’t imagine that The Gathering is ever going to be a relaunch point for any of these pre-established artists’ careers, but it’s gotten so big that it has at least kind of become safety net for passed-their-prime musicians/artists to still play in front of tons of people and get paid. That said, the video clip above just reminds me of how unfortunate it is that Melissa is a coke skeleton now :/
yes i miss her water balloon-ness too =/
yes, it can be seen as the retirement home equivalent of Ozzfest which in this anaylsis, I suppose, is like a finishing school for megastar metal wignorance
dood, the acts this year COULD BE WORSE. There’s some legit cats like pharcyde and raekwon the chef. but the ad is hilarious, “controversial new artists west coast millionaaaaaireess”
“This too shall pass” A++
srsly fear factory what tha fuuuuuuck this is what happens when you try to do a NA tour with 20 bands and it falls flat on your face
I hope they learn from Tila Tequila’s mistake kinda like how Hitler should have learned from Napoleon before attacking Russia
Don’t remove your clothes on stage, girls. It will trigger the Juggalos’ kill-on-sight instinct
kinda like how Hitler should have learned from Napoleon before attacking Russia
A+ Historical reference
Lol, this article is fucking hilarous.
Sad 4u, Melissa and the other one.
Gathering of the juggalos?? But that’s not a safe place for young girls to be :(
Man, this post was all wistful and bittersweet. What do I do with all these feels?
Sometimes lief is confusing like that :(
lief is a dizzying and enchanting thing
And who said SYWH wasn’t poetic?
how long until emmure and the acacia strain play this?
fucking lol.
next year (srs)
I was watching this the other day just waiting for Sugar Slam to come on and be like “WAT UP, BITCHES!?” She did not disappoint. I feel bad that I actually remember these people now. These trailers are too great not to watch.
No way, these infomercials are some of the most hilarious shit ever. 2009 was the best imo, there was this part where they were describing random attractions, which included helicopter rides etc but had an awkwardly long pause for “guys on stilts” which probably wasn’t supposed to sink in that much.
Helicopter rides with a pilot who’s PROBABLY DRUNK!
I’d play The Gathering just so i could pass it off like doing charity work in africa to girls: “It breaks my heart to look at the sad faces, broken by years of meth and faygo abuse and wonder, i could have been born into this life too, so i’ll keep going back till i can mend every face out there.
@5:49: The RUDE BOY. Totally thought for a second there was going to be juggalo ska. Disappointed.
This event confuses me… I don’t know much about rap, but aren’t there kind of a lot of legit rappers on this?
If so, this seems to imply at least one of two unbelievable conclusions:
1) Normal people go to the gathering
2) Juggalos like good music, in addition to shitty music, in proportions large enough to warrant the necessity of legit rappers with expensive guarantees at the gathering.
Probability of 2 seems > probability of 1, but wtf do I know?
option 3: juggalos like rap that was popular in the 90s because they only still have dial-up in rural ohio
BOOM
aren’t there kind of a lot of legit rappers on this
yes, but they are also very washed up and past their prime/no fux given about them anymore (eg, Kool Keith who I love but hasnt been relevant in a decade)
The feel of that Doctor Octagon 2 album :-/
hmmm ok. I figured as much when I saw Coolio was on there (LOL), but didn’t realize that Ice Cube etc were that irrelevant.
oh fuck!.. They were always begging me to stay the night but now I fear they will smell like juggalos after this fest. My heart is broken
Scenepocalypse
Blow money iz blow money.
Serg, do you have mommy issues? (srs)
On a related note, those Healthy Choice Cafe Steamer frozen meals are motherfuckin delicious and nutritious. Try the red pepper alfredo.
Dude, I’ve been wrecking some fucking Healthy Choice pumpkin squash ravioli lately. They require a side of some sort of side to really fill me up, but it’s nice to finally have a solid microwave dinner option that doesn’t make me feel like a piece of shit for eating it. Will keep my eyes peeled for red pepper alfredo, also recommend the Asian potstickers if you haven’t already tried them.
will do.
SYWH: Bachelor Gourmet Forum
watching that video makes me feel like a supremely out of touch oldfagette in that i can’t tell if it’s serious or a complete fucking joke.
Yeah bcz ppl who DON’T dress like inbred clowns are the freaks. Juggalos r the only ones who survived the onslaught of normals!!!
“you laff bcz I’m different.
I laff bcz ur all tha same, fagits”
if only this was an event for hot sluts to go to instead of girls that think they are boys :(
gathering of the juggalos ‘SPRING BREAK EDITION’
“w/ more preggo white trash bitches smoking and more meth/extacy dealers than barstow,CA n the rural midwest!!!! come for the redneck saggy titties, stay for the faygo n ICP singalongs HOMIES!!!!”
holy shit even the game will be at that turdfest, this is just too much for me right now D :(
I have never really understood the hate for juggalos, I personally don’t mind some ICP or Twiztid. Then again I have never meet a juggalo aside from this one dude at video game store which acted like normal person.
The only reason we are making fun of juggalos here is because they are generally chill bros and we love making fun of our bros
i honestly really do hope the crowd does them like they did tila tequila, not because i particularly hate millionaires but because it would be lulzy, and it’s probably what’s going to happen.
well for what it’s worth Millionaires getting attacked by juggalos will be the best press they’ll have ever had…