In the late 90′s, something weird happened: the god damned Mighty Mighty Bosstones put out their 36th or whateverthefuck album and, against all logic, the thing was a hit. Ska became a thing that the mnstrm plebeians were skanking their hearts out to. Paul Rudd and Alicia Silverberg were getting down to the Bosstones doing their best Chuck E. Cheese robot band impression in that movie about Turk from Scrubs. Finally, ad execs at Long John Silver’s had the sound to play over their commercials hocking rubber “food.” If you were a horn-playing band geek or a mediocre chick vocalist, the ska boom of the late 90′s was YOUR. FUCKING. MOMENT.
Ska was the Go-Bots to punk’s Transformers. Back when Tim Armstrong was known as Lint, ska was relegated to the dark corners of the subculture. You only cared about ska if you were British and you were one of the 17 people in The Specials…the Venn Diagram of ska fans was pretty pathetic.
Then Joel McHale’s six-sided die landed on the side that allowed the Bosstones, Reel Big Fish, and whatever a Skankin’ Pickle was to have successful music careers. And I ate that shit up like it was one of those Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle pies they sold for a hot minute. In high school, I cared about two things: punishing my friends at Goldeneye and skanking to/playing sick ska slams (skalamz, if you will). We were “picking it up” like employees at the KY factory on their lunch break on Free Hard-Boiled Egg Day. Yes, I have played my share of lulzy skacore. I carried the ska torch for waaaaaay too long. I am here to share my top 5 “deep cuts” ska bands. Let’s go!
#5 Less Than Link Slap80
Ok, I’m immediately messing things up. #5 consists of three bands who, for all intents and purposes, will represent the entirety of the skacore genre because I defy you to tell them apart.
Link 80 was best known for having a future corpse related to Danielle Steele as their singer. He really “cowboy’d up” and grabbed the brass ring of OD’ing on heroin and earned his wings– lolololololol critical hit! +15 play on words damage! They got some new dude to fill the void that Nick Trainable left and they made an album called “The Struggle Continues…” It was pretty sweet, all things considered. They had some sick screamo/ska jamz on that album that I was really crushing on. Most of the dudes went on to start a band with the mission statement: “we think we can do better than dictionaries at truly defining ‘mediocre’” and named it Desa. Sax player dude went on to join the RX Bandits (we’ll get to them later) and enjoyed tenure during their strongest albums.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiVWHOEnQI4&version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0]
Sick “Usual Suspects” sample! Bryan Singer is m0shing!
Slapstick appealed to me over all the other skacore bands for whatever reason. Looking back, they really just sounded like every other band riding dat 3rd wave at the time. Maybe it was just their extreme amount of “fuck you, mom and dad” songs that really resonated with me via “no, YOU take out the trash!/I already did my homework! I can play Ocarina of Time all I want! No, Ocarina of Time isn’t a gay porn! Well…it kind of is…”. What I’m trying to say is, I had a lot of arguments with my parents’ rocking chair, basement corpses. Also, holler at me if you watched Slapstick’s Live from the Fireside Bowl VHS incessantly! Dat “Broken Down” singalong!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAW8YyR2FLI&version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0]
People PACKED venues for that janky guitar back in the day. Also, mirin’ that kid’s Virginity Beanie: Excessive Buttons Edition!
Less Than Jake have the honor of being the sad old dudes still carrying the torch/beating that dead horse like they were Christopher Reeve at a horsey funeral home after hours on Free Baseball Bat Day with an hour before the cops responded to the wheelchair ramp-based motion sensor burglar alarm tripping. Still active and still cranking out tunes, these dudes are the Big Bad Voodoo Daddy of the ska world. These guys kinda missed out on reaching “Super Popular” like your Mighty Bosstones and Reel Fishes. They had to settle for “Popular Enough That A Ska Band is Our Only Job” which, seriously, Achievement Unlocked you guys. That’s fucking impressive. Also PEZ.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_F-ipYpd53I&version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0]
This video contains an amount of weaponized zany comparable to 30 high school drama kids quoting Monty Python slipping on 50 banana peels.
#4 Catch 22/Streetlight Manifesto (shut up, they’re the same band)
Catch 22 was one of the first head-scratcher signings for Victory Records. I guess these guys set the precedent of Victory no longer being an exclusive club of hardscrabble bros with black, coarse body hair. Their songs were neither about New York City or “fighting The Enemy via togetherhood” so did Tony decide to sign them after a peyote-laden spirit journey? No. It’s cuz Keasby Nights was a sicktight serving of 3rd wave ska by a bunch of skinny kids from New Jersey, god dammit. Catch 22 were the kings of “bookish ska” via Thomas Kolnakcooakoyovich writing lyrics like he was getting paid by the gosh darn syllable. Then some super boring drama happened and most of the band evolved their Pokemans into Streetlight Manifesto.
Streetlight Manifesto is the closest thing one could get to “regret skacore.” The lyrical content is super srs, especially considering that most ska bands’ songs could best be visually represented by a portly, Jack Black-type fellow slipping on a banana peel for eternity…so like I guess the banana peel is on a Mobius Strip or something.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tg8e1FiskCI&version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0]
Here’s how facepalmingly zany skacore was. I can’t tell if this is the god damned official video for the song or some lulzy fan-made war crime.
#3 Folly
Folly was a band of chill bros from Jersey. I guess they grew up parallel to yours truly: ska was popular as we were delving deeper into the whole “punk rock” thing and then we never wanted to let go as we discovered better music. They were basically generic, but sometimes inspired, hardcore with Rick ta Life “caw! caaawww!” crow vocals and then some ska breaks thrown in here and there to blow people’s minds. It seems like a pretty lulzy combo (and to most people it probably was) but I think they cranked out a ton of sick jamz.
I think that Folly was a perfect example of: “We’re New Jersey. We can’t be normal.” It’s always SOMETHING with you, Jersey, isn’t it? Deadguy, Dillinger, these bros, The Number 12 Looks Like Yous? The state motto should be: “New Jersey: Fuck You, 4/4″.
The thing about Folly is that they were active exclusivley AFTER the ska boom of the late 90′s. Being a ska band after 1998 was like being a fan of any out-of-town sports team while in Philadelphia; you’re just always getting batteries thrown at you. So, hats off to these guys for really toughing it the fuck out. If the word “faggot” was a penny, these dudes probably could have collected enough Fag Pennies that got thrown their way at hardcore/metal shows to do Scrooge McDuck backstrokes for the rest of their days. U fought da good fight bros! Miss u! Call me!
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ory1ipySyoI?rel=0]
I chose this video because of the absolutely hilarious “Chewbacca Dying of Dysentery in the Background” audience participation vocals. You’re welcome.
#2 The Suicide Machines
Holy shit, you know what? Fuck you. The album Destruction by Definition still rules. Every song on this album by these Detroit bros just shreds. And then they end the whole shebang with a ska’d up Minor Threat cover?! 16 year-old me couldn’t stop cumming and yes, that absolutely made family dinners super awkward.
The subsequent albums ranged from “solid skacore efforts” to “face-palmy attempts to reinvent themselves via ‘oh shit, ska is a sinking ship,’”. But yeah, this album had THE best skacore song about Vans shoes written in the mid-to-late 90′s ever written. Bonus points to this band/album due to the inclusion in the Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater soundtrack. ”New Girl” (dat beefy fucking snare fill!) is forever burned into my memory along with shredding killer lines around the “School” level with #1 scumbro Chad Muska (“ska” in his name?! Ohmgeeeee!).
The drummer of The Suicide Machines, Derek Grant, is fucking amazing. As a drummer myself, this dudes work on Destruction by Definition made teenage me want to hang up the instrument forever via being a lazy teenage shithead who barely practiced. The dude seriously never stopped hitting everything, but he didn’t over-play. He left the band after the album Battle Hymns and ended up in Alkaline Trio. THAT dude in THAT band is like using a chainsaw to cut through butter. Sooooo disappointing.
I think the Suicide Machines hung it up a few years ago and then did a few reunion shows (+5 originality buff) and then went away again. Singer bro has a d-beat band called Hellmouth. They’re not terrible. Meh.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F2ZaR7iFmAg&version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0]
Is the video grainy? Plz log on to AOL (if you have enough minutes) and Web Crawler search for the latest version of Real Video Player.
#1 Rx Bandits
The RX Bandits is a band that I non-ironically enjoy to this day. They can play the absolute shit out of their instruments. They, in my honest opinion, are a shining example of how to survive one’s origins as a band birthed from a lulzy genre. These bros realized super quick that skacore was gonna drop the toaster in the tub real soon. With each album release, the RX Bandits got more and more proggy and rockin’, with the pinnacle being their album The Resignation and most of the follow-up to that: …And the Battle Begun. These dudes also exhibited symptoms of a very common post-skacore fallout: The Disappearing Horn Section. With every album, horn players departed the band and the amount of “sick horn skalamz” parts minimized. However, with the reduction in face-palmy skacore trappings, the equal yet different Filth of the Hippie reared it’s macro-biotic/organic/fair trade head. Starting with the album “Progress”, the lyrics became progressively more and more about vaguely broad political issues (boo war, yay third world country smiles). This insufferable granola bullshit came to a head with their latest and final album “Mandala.” Not only were we tits-deep in annoyingly-leftist talking points, but the music had become less techy prog rockin’ and more crunchy, groovy jams. Even though these dudes are one of my favorite bands, I’m super glad they called it quits before they could turn into their 3rd and final form (end boss from a JRPG-style) of becoming hippie jagoffs that would try and pay for things “with a song” and smell like week-old “I’ve been living in a tent at a festival” crotch mung.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9nMYKivoxw&version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0]
Brazzers presents: Skinnyfat Bro Fuckfest 13
So there you have it! Ska will never die in that there will always be a need for a soundtrack for dudes to get Friend Zone’ed to. To future generations, I would say: don’t make the same mistake I did. Choose to bet the house on a musical genre that won’t make people snicker to themselves and slowly inch away from you quite as much. Luckily, I can poke fun at myself and realize how lulzy one’s teenage years can be… but that isn’t the case for everyone. Some bros will sweatily launch spittle-punctuated screamversations at you about why awkward, white dude ska bands are just as legitimate as the next “real band.” Disregard these chuckle heads. They don’t realize that they are essentially one 5XL tshirt away from becoming the equivalent of juggalos via their stubbornness, insular, head-in-the-sand resistance to jump from a sinking ship. Today, the only ska I listen to are the 2 – 3 ska jamz per NOFX album that will pop up in rotation. I should have heard the death knell of the skacore fad way back in the day: the sound of trumpets being overpowered by the end-time cacophony of Brian Setzer cumming as he proclaimed: “Now is the time of Swing! I AM REBORN!”
Did u skank at ur prom when they played that one Bosstones song? Did the Misfits of Ska comp change ur lyfe? Who is ur favorite Aquabat? Do u think John Feldman tried to get Attack Attack!? to do coke with him off of a Goldfinger CD?
I’m a pretty pro-anything guy when it comes to music, I mean whatever people like is cool, but ska is the only genre where I can’t stop myself from giggling involuntarily when someone tells me they like it.
See also rockabilly
To this day i have a total boner for Slapstick and all of Brendan Kelly’s work. Awesome post about awesome bands = awesome.
Folly is the shit. I was at the reunion show the day after the one embedded into this article and it was a fucking blast. Stage-dives all over the place.
Dude yes, Folly was the shit. That album, Serenity now, Insanity later, or something like that was always in cd player back in 02-04 something like that. They used to tour way south, and probably all over, all the time. I have a bro from NJ who knew em and got me into them. Fuckin rad band, and ^ album rules.
hahah fuck yes i love folly. me and like 9 other people in the world.
all around happy with this ska post. the genre gets no love.
anyone remember capdown? mustard plug?
the genre gets no love
there is a reason for that
Saw Mustard Plug like 15 years ago in a VFW hall.
Thanks for posting that video jorbam. I wasn’t aware they did some reunion shows and there were quality vid’s from it. Even better that channel has Morning song, Don’t shoot the piano player, Repeat I repeat. All some of my fav jams. :):) Repped.
Got to see them at a free show at a local college. I kept knocking their instruments out of tune with my boner.
my lab partner in 11th grade earth science class was a roadie for the ernies. man, those were some dire times for music
that embarrassing time when the marching band geeks tried to be in ‘cool’ bands
Great post!
I too saw Slapstick play sometime around ’96 or so, and loved them enough to buy their cassette (they were out of CDs). And only a year or so later I wondered why I thought they were any better/more punk than Less Than Jake.
Skaba The Hut became The Bravery, which I think is funny, and I love to tell people, but no one remembers the Bravery anymore, so there goes that fun fact down the drain of forgotten/useless information :(
Anyone remember The Hippos?
Wait, The Bravery as in the band who sounded exactly like Killers??? lol if so
yes, that Moz-wannabe eyeliner dude who started the 80s style synth band The Bravery circa 2005… he was in a band called Skaba The Hutt. i think there might be pics of him online with mini whiteboy dreads. too lazy to google.
File under bands Rolling Stone called the “Next Big Thing in Rock” that disappeared after one semi-popular single (see also: The Vines).
lol. I never heard of Folly. That clip literally just blew my mind. Skadowns, who knew? That’s super lulzy, but props to them.
I was a total skabro in high school. Suicide Machines are the top dog, for me. Saw them when I was 15 (I think BigWig opened, which my bro and I subsequently got really into) and I think it’s my favorite pre-getting-into-hardcore show I went to.
I dunno, if I found out the Toasters were playing this weekend, I’d probably go. It’s a fucking good time. Fuck the haters.
Bigwig’s Invitation to Tragedy is an album I still rage to to this day. Cool story bro impending: Remember that song they had making fun of vegans/animal rights activists on Stay Asleep? Ok, well, friended lead singer bro Tom Petta a year or so back on facebook. He just kept posting stuff about abused animals so I shed a single tear and proceeded to hide him. Feels bad, bro.
The Toasters was one of my first shows back in the day. Dudes could play the shit out of their instruments.
Toasters’ shows were like punk rock proms in the mid-90′s. It always seemed like every kid who fell even marginally under the ‘punk umbrella’ would be there.
Cuz for ~$10 you could skank for literally 2 hours. They played super long sets.
Plus at ska shows you could actually dance with chicks.
Pretty ironing that Sarge is all up itt shitting all over music people know was pretty lulzy but still had a sick time enjoying back in the day.
probs butthurt he didn’t get to enjoy it then via too busy being srs
I really enjoyed reading this post even if I cannot get into Ska music at all. Hilarious and informative post, bro.
I really agree. I read this entire thing having not heard much of any of these bands and enjoyed it. Nice post!
Another one of those here. Really good post, really well written.
Not as fun as your siq Warhammer post but cool nonetheless
love the way you wrote this man. had me lowling hard. its like re living my life from middle school until 11th grade. goos shit.
turbo lulz about goldeneye and ska. good call.
I had Goldeneye and Limp Bizkit in middle school. Thought I was the hardest shit ever.
every band had to have “ska” incorporated in their name
Skapula
This post is great. I love ska-punk. And also actual ska (not featured)
Latin Americans destroy at ska-punk http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ii0EhozGiTU
Yes we do….
skank dat pit putos!!!
skanking drunkily as i hear sick regretkore/empowerment spanish lyrics w/ sick punk riffage and trumpet/horns section/10
there are many embarrassing things from Latin America: El Sabado Gigante, reggaeton, and puerto ricans to name just a few. But none of them come CLOSE to being as shameful as their refusal to let go of skacore.
Tell me your not hating on Don Francisco aka Mario Blumenfeld?!!
everybody’s favorite jew
lmfao!! finally somebody caught on!!! did chu know dat charlie sheen’s real name is carlos estevez!!! he’s the greatest winner of all time =]
but why you no likey hot bishes/models in comedy sketches and hot bishes hawkin’ latin merch on sabado gigante, sarge??
My ex-housemate is a massive skafag. Buuuut she is also one of the worst cases of Special Snowflake Syndrome I’ve ever seen and a stupid bitch, so if the music wasn’t enough to turn me off ska, her love for it definitely would’ve ruined it for me.
(Kept trying to make me go to local ska shows for her friends’ band, who sound like someone raping a box full of stray cats with cheese graters. Lolnope.)
did not know dat suicide machines song was called new girl… my street skumbag homie jamie thomas killed it w/ that song in the original warehouse level =’]
good skanking post bro!!
memories/10
Non hardcorebro here: discovered streetlight manifesto in 2010 so I kissed all the image stuff. Actually non ironically enjoy the videos you posted. Will def make a spotify playlist. Thanks!
*missed
had a period where i was rlly into streetlight, I still think they’re sweet since their songs are ridic catchy
In the SGV ska has a really big backyard scene, and by that i mean, maybe 100-200 or so drunken teenagers and 20 something year olds acting stupid, dancing around, trying to get in fights, and not even remembering what the name of the band who played was. Hahha
you forgot the forced clappping at the end of each set and the stealing of music instruments when nobodies looking n chit lolz
memories/10
been waiting for ages for this site to show folly some love. one of my favourite bands. they’re one of those bands where you’ll click on their videos and find some attentionseeking fag go “omg mr. (insert band members name who became a teacher).
It isn’t exactly ska but I used to love Choking Victim. Skatanic regretcore?
Also remember seeing “Oskama Bin Laden” on a flyer. Anybody know any sweet names?
Skarhead lololololololol
Well Played.
I still like the song Crack Rock Steady by Chocking Victim.
l0l0l ska-crust = at the same time one of the most raeg-inducing genres of music and one of my faves… Leftover Crack, Citizen Fish, Star Fucking Hipsters, all good shit.
Still waiting on why Johnny Quest thinks Less Than Jake are sellouts 15+ years later
cool post but ska sucks
^ that pretty much says it all
mephiskapheles
+5 Bumble Bee Tuna stat buff
Never understood why so many of my fellow latinos loved ska when I was younger. All I ever heard of it was from THPS, which is also how I discovered Suicidal Tendencies. <3 u , Bucky Lasek
Oh man, that Folly video. I loved how when the ska part came out of nowhere his screaming changed, like when you’re hangin out with your bro and then his voice changes to that of a total pussy when his girlfriends calls. Would download an album and mostly listen ironically.
Mirin dat Community reference tho, and this writing style in general. Would read again. But bummed caused this makes me realize lame skafags would jump all over a band if I called it ‘Skank Beach House’. RIP dream band name.
Fuck that, don’t ever let the dream die. I’ll press your first 7″ on SYWH records!
Mind blown at ska with breakdowns.
Some of my mates and I 100% non-ironically love (early/2 Tone) ska and skacore…
Voodoo Glow Skulls is the band that re-introduced me to Ska. The thing introducing me to ska in the first place, however, is the opening theme for ‘America’s Funniest Videos’ (the season with Tom Bergeron)
Holy sheet, a week a go I was a limey in US, and as everyone’s teeth > mine, I watched AFV every day instead of facing the world; loved the series with the dumb blonde cholo bimbo that missed her autocues. Wood skank to her shit and dat ska beetz/10
I didn’t give less than jake much of a chance, I first heard Pezcore but they have the best being a fuckup song I’ve ever heard. The band members look like tools but the song is good!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=krXG307d4k8
Big D and the Kids Table is pretty much the only ska band I still listen to.
Here in the shit hole known as Fontana, there’s a giant ska-core scene.
My friends shitty band always plays with some other crappy bands, and the only people who attend are washed out punks and tr00 hardcore kids and pop punk kids. :(
lol, FOHI class of 01. Ska was everywhere back then in FOHI.
speaking of the RX Banditas becoming more proggy and rockin, did anyone listen to their other band The Sound Of Animals Fighting, which was like The Mars Volta of mid-00′s post-hardcore?
dude what about the first aquabats album. U R SKANKING.
holy shit was just talking about those fuckin ninja turtle pies(green slime/hostess pie)
member’ mesquite crunch tator potato chips?? haha
First over age show was Mad Caddies and it was legit amazing and still wear that shirt to school on occasion where my students give me shit for wearing my ‘pirate shirt’. Less Than Jake at Soundwave 2010 made me feelbadman but they were less cringy then Goldfinger who played the same festival.
Link 80 was best known for having a future corpse related to Danielle Steele as their singer. He really “cowboy’d up” and grabbed the brass ring of OD’ing on heroin and earned his wings– lolololololol critical hit!
Fucking genius!
No pre-”vs the floating eye of death” aquabats, or pre-”steady as she goes” voodoo glow skulls on the list make me a butthurt internet ska nerd who graduated to metal and hardcore. they made their shows a blast to stage dive at.
I never really like ska, but I kinda did dig the band Bodybag… please note the lack of “Ska” in their band name
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7idxI9hTJXA
I’m actually surprised theres so many dudes that don’t like ska. I mean the genre is fucking dumb but thats 100% of why its fun. Its so fucking stupid that I can’t help but love the shit out of it
wood proudly rock my b&w checkerboard tie/10
i love rocking my checkerboard belt till this day ahah
The suicide machines…thank you. i thought i was the only person in the world that new this goddamn band existed outside of a tony hawk soundtrack. The last two albums they made were so awesome. I actually bought a war profiteering is kill us all shirt off of inter punk in like 2011. I think i was little late to that party. feelsbadman.jpeg :(
I saw them in like 95 or 96 when they were still called Jack Kevorkian & The Suicide Machines. solid band.
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