BEFORE
Groce hipster trash who is so desperate for male attention yet incapable of being attracted to (or attracting) normal dudes that she has to result to nerdbaiting the absolute bottom of the barrel: people who are so entry-level they think it’s the 8th wonder of the world if a girl owns Iron Maiden merch (aka metalfags). Most likely works at a dive bar or Urban Outfitters and probably slipped on a pair of high-waisted denim shorts after this photo shoot.
AFTER
Dripping bonar/10, wood watch her suck his dick.
The shape of frump-core to come?
because its IMPOSSIBLE for ‘attractive’ people to enjoy metal
You’re saying that sarcastically, but it’s actually 100% true. Although attractive females don’t like Emmure either, which leaves a bit of confusion here (it’s still nerdbaiting, which is groce), but whatev.
Girls don’t actually like any music, it’s just another accessory to get male attention (same with anything a girl does)
Precisely
Dude did you just take this seriously, you fucking twelve bro?
EVERYTHING ON THIS COMEDY BLOG SHOULD BE TAKEN AT FACE VALUE DO NOT READ BETWEEN THE LINES UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES
This is a comedy blog? I always thought it was a life advice blog.
yea same here!!
wtf brah? where be da comedy?
this isnt a self help blog
I thought it was a place were alphas could roam free like the buffalo.
WHERE DO I FIND GURLS WHO LISTEN TO TAS?
I know a girl who listens to TAS..
Hell she probably listens to more metal than I do O_O
TUMBLR
I seriously have no idea how to prowl for girls on Tumblr. Like, do you need to keep up a stupid Tumblr of your own or do you just stalk out the hot ones’ and write them or what?
be a guy in a band or look like one and then show up and be like ‘hey you reblogged that picture of me, wanna talk about how deep and meaningful my music is?’ then like just have the sex
I had a girlfriend that liked TAS and would steal my hoodies so she too could be “HYPE FREE” and let others know that she was “not ur shoulder 2 cry on”
But then I got one that hated TAS and the sound of me having fun with my bros.
I have that right now. The latter anyways….#angersex
I love Iron Maiden! Their song Master Of Puppets is one of my favorites! :) And yes, girls can listen to real metal lol ;)
brb stealing this line for next time i need to activate maximum overtroll
see also ‘dere first singer was best’.
you mean teh one who dressed like a leather daddy all the time and turned out to be gay?
yeh an den a kid blew his own face off whilst listening to number of a beasts
a number of beasts imo
A number of beats imo
Yeah I heard he took out two of his ribs so he could suck his own dick!
n then left Metallica to go form his own band, Anthrax.
Yea and their fatass drummer left all those bands to bee in dark angles, depth, new testament, chapping young bloke, and industree factory
chapping young bloke im dead
I meant to say Meatallica and Amtrax, srry i don’t listen 2 mehtul
They did that awesome song about midnight too, “Living After Midnight” that’s it.
didn’t they also do “down with the sickness”
no ur thinking of panera gtfo here with that psoer bullshit :(
(“psoer” semi-ironic)
panera x-D
Disapprove of dem neon leopard print undies in the after. Floral was much nicer. Fag/10
Underwear has poor color scheme, 2/10, wood not bang.
Tattoo has flowers from 2 different ecosystems 2/10 would not bang
Sloppy editing making a solid line on the right. 2/10 wud not bang
Original underwear looks like a tacky duvet cover my grandma would have bought at Goodwill and smelled like mothballs and old people :/
Srs, the floral panties looks like my grandmas knitting =( confused bonar achieved. And lol, I have the leopard print background as I type this
Wishing whoever photoshopped this would’ve just fake a nude, cause she is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
+1
pshh been there done that…. u can have my sloppy seconds of this conceited flip/otw IMN-baiting bish….
wood bust the fade out yet still keep her number on my cell just to remind of big papi stone over hya/10
Strong half-flip, half-mexi look for sure (classic otw combo)
bet she has a misfits and/or slayer patch on her sweet stonewashed denim vest. wood smash in the bathroom at ozzfest during sevendust’s set.
bummed she kinda has a skrillex hair thing going on
would wait until after they play waffle/10
And be back in time for “Black.”
I don’t think she has skrillex hair, it’s just parted really far to her left
7/10 hair parted too far would not bang
Of course, the IMNs at the bottom of the barrel would not be impressed by an entry-level band like Iron Maiden. Now, if she were wearing a shirt with Rings of Saturn or The Faceless on it, that would be a different story.
Dude, no you’re wrong. Unfortunately dudes still jock Maiden like it’s straight up 1845.
Srsly? I don’t know a single one of my IMN friends that jocks Maiden tho
Maiden is still jocked by young ppl who are casually into guitar and into really entry level metal, via my brother.
there are A LOT of people that are behind the times, or just stuck in the past via never letting go of dinosaur metal
Maiden is ultimate Guitar World-core.
Remember that metalfag’s elitism is just a cover to conceal their insecurities, dropped at the first sign that there is even a 0.00016% chance they make get laid.
That is true
Iron Maiden is groce and uncool. Idk why anyone ever thought they were metal, i always thought they were a bunch of gay hippies that liked playing scales and singing about indians or some shit. What the fuck was wrong with the 70′s/80′s?
look up marijuana and cocaine for each generation specifically brah
wood finger point & laugh at her in public then go home and tear my dick off/10
If the Iron Maiden shirt is such a dealbreaker with a bish this fine then really aren’t you just doing the exact opposite of what the metalfags are doing?
I see that the basis of the joke is becoming clear-good times!
In this post I make 3 main points:
- ‘classic metal’ has been co-opted by hipster trash and fggts to the point where wearing an Iron Maiden or Slayer shirt has essentially the same connotations as wearing a Joy Division shirt
- Emmure is lulzy, which I highlighted by choosing one of their most inane shirts and an equally inane lyrical reference
- nerdbaiting in all its forms is ridiculous and embarrassing for everyone involved
Also that you’ll never ever see hipsters jock a band like Emmure because it doesn’t get them any second hand cred?
Pretty sure there are already hipsters ironically liking Emmure (via SYWH readers)
Doubt it. Emmure not entry-level? Mindbottled.jpg
That second shoop is screaming, ‘I won these panties at a LMFAO orgy because although my shirt says I support guitaractualdrumscore, I’m really all for the more mainstream musics.’
EXACTLY. And therefore, dripping boner/10
Would watch you watch her suck his dick
is that postmodern performance art, or just cuckolding a cuckold??
Cuckoldception?
bah you beat me to it…
wood watch on pornhub/eskimotube/redtube/xhamster/n extremetube watching this guy recording n watching you watching her suck his dick!!!
wood skip the cock zoom yet compare size /10
These photos might aswell be captioned “present day” and “10 years into the future”. Urban Outfitters will be stocking old Emmure merch.
Old Wiggercore fags
I’m OK with the first pic, I’d just assume she doesn’t like the band and bought the shirt at a fashion boutique because she’s seen celebrities wearing shirts like it. That’s a valid reason for wearing an Iron Maiden shirt.
While you have a good point, the presence of so many tattoos suggests that she is alt enough to know boys will jizz over metal shirts
True, but maybe the boys she’s going for are annoying hipsters who think the shirts are ironic and not annoying nerds who genuinely enjoy heavy metal music very much.
Wait, that’s not a much better scenario…
omg teh emmure guy is eating her boobs
acully is kurt angle
respect issue tee? maybe if she was rocking some “goodbye to the gallows” era ish
Woodsmash/10 dat maiden shirt isnt going to mater when its on the floor. Amirite?
I bet she thinks the Who are real important too.
PRETENDS to (which is bad enough but better than actually believing it)
“If the Ramones and Sex Pistols were the hammer that pounded and shaped the nail of rock into its current paradigm-shifting form, the Who were unquestionably the anvil…or were they the forge itself?”
DOES ANYONE HAVE A LIFE JACKET IM DROWNING IN RAGEAHOL
“With the unhinged wailing vocals of Robert Plant and the heavily riff oriented guitar stylings of Jimmy Page, Led Zeppelin paved the way for what would later become one of the most widespread and varied styles of rock n’ roll-heavy metal”
The Who were unquestionably the anvil. The forge itself was some black people that Elvis Presley stole all his biggest hits from.
LOL my Dad is an old man and says this to all of his students as a high school history teacher
Glad the nail of rock has been brushed off into the dust to make way for like technology and stuff. Damn Amish people trying to say nails are still important, lols.
Can’t decide if actual musical journalism or stone cold copy. Either way, music journalism, and most journalism for that factor, is basically a waterfall of dicks cascading into a river of cocks and I truly genuinely hope I never experience either again.
Ewwww, there is nothing more gross than a hot chick sporting something as nasty as a fucking Iron Maiden t-shirt. I’m not sure what people see in that-; a girl wearing skulls and other gruesome things, talk about non-erotic as fuck. Besides, when do girls ever look good in T-shirts anyways?? Fucking groce bros.
Can’t imagine what makes dude’s boners go hard about thinking of a girl listening to Powersave or The Pooper. It honestly just freaks me out. Huge red flag/10
It’s because maybe finally here is a girl that will understand me, and by understand I mean be willing to accept my tender virgin peen.
dont care, i love getting nerdbaited. if i see a girl in like, a cycling cap and a messenger bag, i will go drone on to her endlessly about how dissapointing it is that the tour de l’avenir has failed to produce this generations cycling powerhouses like how it did in the 80′s. or bemoan the lack of a muddy paris-roubaix. all while they smile and nod, knowing that i have no clue that THEY have no clue, and waiting for me to buy them drinks.
thats pretty fucking smooth dawg. you are one slippery guy
also Piece of Mind sucks