Do you ever have that blissful moment where you live your life for stereotypes, then the clouds part and light shines down from the sky and a beautiful moment happens where every douchebag prejudiced thing you believe it is magically validated? Like when I walked into a KFC in a town that had no more than 4 black ppl and there was about 30 that had magically spawned in front of me in line? Or when you make fun of The Story So Far whenever the internet presents via “and to think that ur somebody’s daughtur :((“, and then they get on facebook and literally bestow the White Knight Protection buff (24 hour cooldown) on an entire city? My fellow bros and brahs, I give you… DPCTED APPAREL, update 3.0.4 to your epic-tier White Knight armor set! There’s armor pieces for every class in Tier 14, whether you’ve specialized in Beardo or Beta. They also run all the way up to a whopping 5XL! No level of chub is left out here!
And then I’ll totally kiss your cheek all over as I walk you home and be the best friend you’ve ever had!
You’re right, I love when I pull out my phone to check tumblr and I drop it, and have to sift through rolls of blubber to recover it like my old box of legos
Just because you get anal doesn’t mean u care about her heart!! :’(
I also confess love on the first; you get a package deal!
Maybe i can put on my 1st edition David Comes To Life vinyl and we can hold hands on my bed??
i feel like in really small letters it should have: (you’re about to live under my floorboards)
Last shirt describes me.
feelsbadman.jpg
fortunately I ain’t no whiteknight.
I have a fggt voice, but I don’t need to tell the world about it via my t-shirt… they’ll find out on their own soon enough :(
lold
I’d invest heavily in voice changing software if I were you.
You have the ability, Sarge!
I imagine someone’s super-cringeworthy birthday where some chubbybro with a gigantic beard gets the ‘i would cuddle you so hard’ shirt from his attractive female “best friend” with whom he is in love. He would then proceed to force himself to tear up to show how much he appreciates the gift and how well she knows him, before she complains about her boyfriend to him.
strong
ouchie
Mate I need at least 7xl for my wigger-knight steez.
fuck yes!!!!
im still in da 2x level doe…
mirin’ advanced level wiggerness
Could a bro wear one of these tops ironically, then while nailing a huge hug on a 8/10bish drop some S-rank alpha shit like “But I can fuck you harder.”
The potential to pick up young females with no ability and butt loads of daddy issues would be immense!
this makes me feel like a complete fgt for liking bigger girls. kill me now, guys
there’s a diff between a chick with a boonkie and a chunky whale, doe! I’m not into super skinnies like sarge either, but you gotta know you’re crossing a line. Just don’t be a fggt and be PROUD of railin’ them!
My 5XL isn’t big enough, people might notice that I’m fat!
Lettuce be cereal here, the real crime is the absolutely terrible typography
dat mockup with the content that goes over the t-shirt
dat website name all right up in there with the one-minute “design”. don’t know why they so desperate for people to find them, if someone saw a dude wearing this and wanted to find they website they could just google “poorly made shirts for fat people who want to feel special and look extra creepy”.
https://www.google.co.uk/search?sugexp=chrome,mod=7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8&q=poorly+made+shirts+for+fat+people+who+want+to+feel+special+and+look+extra+creepy
Wikihow bestowing the knowhow!
omg dead
this post gives the mental image of fat tattooed dudes cuddling fat chicks.
brb vomiting and choosing what ill have for breakfast again
So this is for fat bald tattooed dudes to feel double “unique” about their “life choices”? I feel like we’re one step away from having a site that makes shirts to just describe you on them.
“5’10″, brown hair, two-day beard, bushy eyebrows, beer gut, no muscle, going bald on top of my head so probably wearing a hat, way too much back hair, two messed up teeth like kind of in the back you gotta look for, awful breath, really weird feet, don’t talk to me I like a lot of dumb shit including poorly made t-shirts.”
“6’0″, white, cis, average weight, semi-skinnyfat, not a weakfag could use more muscle, goes to yoga, 50′s dad haircut, nice leg gainz, Justice Tripp is my fashion icon”
srs
5’9, built out of muscle with almost no fat, stubble from laziness, awesome teeth because 2 years of braces, slight tan, brown hair in some sort of horrible combination of hitler youth/50′s dad haircut, i’m some kind of broster, Emmure is my favorite ignorant hardcore.
brb ordering in size L
6’0, skinny but fit, brownish crooked teeth from having been raised in England, tan, black hair grown out from a shaved head, I’m a hardcore weenie, and Benchpress is my favorite ignant. Size small, pls.
bushy eyebrows
ded
http://dpcted.com/bearded-gift
lol beards, did u guise see this one????
First comment I see: “Is it only available up to a 3x? Or is it possible for a 4x? Thank you”
Starting to think this site was set up by The Onion or something, cause this shit is too good to be true.
Strong theory!
Personally, I’m starting to think we’ve uncovered some new gay male lifestyle choice… tattooed hipster chubby bro, which is maybe like the 20-something’s take on bear culture.
Can we work on a competing line of T-Shirts with the same stupid font? I’m thinking the following phrases might work:
“FUCK YOU FATTY”
“THIS FONT SAYS I’M GOING WHALIN’”
“My Thumb. Your Asshole (Not you. Your Friend)”
YES
First one is just kinduv mean, but the last one = backed
“GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR OBESITY GOALS IN 2012″
HARPOONS AT DAWN
i dont understand why they are available in s-5xl. unless the small shirts are meant for like midgets who are fat and bald, which is a demographic that retailers never catered to.
oh. my. god.
Roller Derby bait shirts
cankles
The only possible way for a tatooed bald chubby human to be awesome is if he’s motherfucking Bam Bam Bigelow (RIP).
Also, theres a scientific explanation behind the KFC singularity warping reality.
1) If black people are passing through your town, theres few other places they’d chose to stop for food
2)The 4 black people called their cousins. We have lots of cousins. Tiger Woods my cousin prolly.
the kfc was close to a freeway exit, and the people there were bunched into 3 or 4 family groups, lots of little trash mobs (kids) but there were a few big boss spawns, epic drop 13.4%
What MF % did your char have?
lol idk actually
strongest headline ever (srs)
do u even roleplay bruh
not larp but love me some bg1/2, fallout 1/2
I non-ironically think the “I would cuddle you so hard” shirt is hilarious in every way, including the font.
Is this real life?
Gawd dammit Sarge. Some of us cant help being nice to girls. Its a fucking curse/disease, whatever. I sent a pic of that cuddle you so hard shirt to a bish the other day, and she was all lolol. Fuck, what am i doing with my life. I think im in the friend zone…FYI she does wear uggz, so there’s that…and she hates metal.
Brah, realize that WK’ing is like forest fires, only you can stop it/them.
RJG,
So i was married at a young age (19) and was married for 17 years. im new to all this shit. fucked around with some hot bishes and some not so hot bishes. so if i like this totally non-metal college educated bish, how do proceed with out being a beta
$daterequest = “Hey, I like you, wanna go out sometime?”;
do{
if(!accepts($daterequest))
{
$this->tryAgain();
}
}while($age < $death);
ther-in lies my problem
Cuddling and Pornogrind are the same thing. I love both SO FUCKING MUCH but I would never wear a t shirt that said I love either
I might wear a shirt that said that I loved both, though.
I absolutely love fat chicks, chubby chaser ftw, but I don’t white knight the girl. I just treat here like I would any other girl. That’s how a got my current gf and we’ve been together for over a year.
but hav you done anal yet
The stay chubby shirt made me die inside, Also I would like to see a rival company that has shirts that say “don’t hate me cause you’re beta”.
My awkward half-scene half-mainstream-bro used to wear an AA-shirt with “GET ON YOUR KNEES” on it. Girls have gotten on their knees (bj-height) for him multiple times. So you tell me what works best, wear “scene-shirts” or rock this beta-bullshit anno 2012.
Honestly, you have a better chance of getting laid rockin’ Neo-Nazi merch than this shit. At least you can bang that stupidly hot 15 year old trailer trash before she expires half-way through her 16th birthday and gets preggo after getting fucked by all the fat, greasy dudes at the KKK Racist BBQ joint.
truth
they should make the back of the shirts say “and by cuddle i mean fuck”
I also want to see Lexington Steele wear the “i would cuddle you so hard” shirt. Only time it would be funny.
Isn’t that the pretense of the shirt? Like chubbsters wanna give off a cuddly non-threatening vibe so one of those skirts that friendzoned them (because they’re fat beardos with nothing to offer outside being a self-proclaimed “nice guy” aka boring, dull slob w/o real world ambitions.) Then one day while cuddling and showing her his supes fav John Cussack movie they throw on the hella creeper desperation move in hopes of getting a half-hearted Hando Calrissian from her while they think about how many copies of the 14th pressing of “Hello Bastards” they’re getting on the next “mail day.”
TLDR, betas use cuddling as a lure to try and get pity HJs.
Betaz gonna beta (creepily.)
Exactly. SO shirts that say your true intentions are better, but it just turns into a snorg tees type thing then. Maybe if it was a band shirt in impact font with the opposite message. There should be more shirts that show say you maybe are a sleazy dirtbag who prob has herp but let’s find out.
Genuinely disappointed that they censored my comment on that website.
Q asked:
“Why is the design on these t-shirts so bad? (srs question)” I think a sane person has a right to know!
MAYBE IF U WEREN’t CISGERNDRERD FILTH OF GAY
ass