Usually when bands embark on a digital panhandling campaign, I make fun of them for resorting to begging instead of doing things the way any other business would (save profits from shows/merch until they accumulate enough capital to buy new assets), and say something about how if they don’t have enough money to buy a van then they probably shouldn’t be touring because not enough people like them.
But in the case of DEFILER it’s different, because they are our friends and there is a double standard where our friends are allowed to do things that we would normally make fun of. Which is why we are asking you to CLICK HERE TO HELP THEM BUY A NEW VAN in preparation for their upcoming US tour. Not only are they good dudes back tard, but I think you will agree their selection of prizes is very advanced– only $60 to watch them practice drop-B breakdowns via Skype!
bit.ly link doesn’t work! Also, will only buy 30 dollar package if it’s the lyrics to CRYOMANCER.
Working link: http://bit.ly/R9ozYx
Fuck, I got them confused with Defeater and was looking forward to laughing triumphantly at their suffering and their inability to afford a van. Then I actually read the post.
Made the same mistake and was wondering how those faggots could possibly skate.
Physical activity is only cool when its in the context of blue collar jobs idealized in gay songs.
Brb sitting in a tanning bed with a t-shirt on to get an authentic blue collar tan line.
brb already have an authentic blue collar tine line (srs)
Same. :(
The number of people with tan lines worldwide is shrinking. Either you’re too white to be blue collar or (like me) too swarthy to get tan lines.
brb rubbing my hands with $50 pumice stone to create calluses like if I used a shovel all day
Something I know a bit about: pumice stones GET RID of calluses- rather than create them D. An easy mistake for a marketing exec, acura driving, blogger to make.
What the fuck do I know about how you get calluses on your hands?? I’m not mexican.
hey that’s racist man…
LULZ
hey hey now… i approve of this racially insensitive message teehee x-D
now get back to reading the rest of these retarded yet funny comments on these hella teenagers from nor-cal >=D
not sure if I follow
Inb4 ” I WANNA SEE YOU-insert unfunny thing- BITCH!
I want to pay $40 to Skype with some kids in a deathcore band!!!
I fear that if Jake recorded my voicemail greeting, people would inevitably feel let down by the disparity between the steak-eating manliness of my voicemail, versus my “small guy in the key of fggt” IRL voice.
I WANNA HEAR YOUR MESSAGE AFTER THE BREAKDOWN, BITCH
*sick breakdown*
Oh shit. That just made me seriously entertain the option.
its either that or this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=caoYdiq3kak
shit. that would be awesome.
Whenever I see one of these I hope some shady fan just comments “My uncle gots a van, used and pretty shitty but it’ll get the job done. We’ll even let you borrow no cost, its just sittin in the driveway, just fill her up when you bring it back after that there tour.”
For them to be like, “Nah, we’d still like the thousands of dollars.”
That just sounds like a smart business plan to me, Broheim.
Wood pay for the set list, make it all cryomancer.
only CRYOMANCER is real!!!
Biggup to double-standards
#reparations
You must purchase the pizza.
pizza is so fucking good. I want some really bad now.
Is this an ironic statement mocking the pizza obsession that has arisen with the 90′s kids movement, a genuine desire for pizza, or both?
I considered making a statement about the irritating pizza-worship trend, but at the end of the day just decided that I sincerely like pizza
There’s a pizza worship trend going on? I really can’t name anyone that I’ve known that doesn’t like pizza at least somewhat.
yeah who the fuck DOESN’T like pizza?
Pizza is great no doubt, but a lot of people seem to be obsessing over it with zombiefag levels of fanaticism.
See also bacon
I think that’s just general zanyfag-ness
Bacon is love.
very good
in b4 street taco worship
EPIC TACO TRUCK BACON ZOMBIES RAWR IS DINOSAUR FOR I LOVE YOU!
RAINBOW UNICORN NARWHAL JIZZ BITCHEZZZZZ!!1
Don’t let them ruin pizza. They’ve ruined metal. They’ve ruined comics. They’ve ruined bacon. Pizza is the Helm’s Deep of cool stuff that faggots are trying to kill for the rest of us.
protip – you can ignore the people who are “ruining” (insert thing here) and then enjoy just as much as before. works for me at least…
they ruined taco bell by getting rid of the flatbread sandwich and changing their chicken recipe so it no longer tastes artificial </3 pizza is all we have left.
Would give tits since no money
Defiler is pretty awesome, but dat price/value disparity :(
Is it just me, or does paying $75+ for a pizza party with a bunch of dudes my own age sound like the most ridiculous thing ever
100 bucks for a skate session sounds dumber imo
(still luv ya defilerbros)
30 bucks for some handwriting on a napkin is terribad.
i’d rather print out a notepad with the lyrics, or just look them up on azlyrics.
wait…i dont even like defiler….
$25 for a signed setlist just makes these bros look like they’re too poor to keep their setlists on an iPad.
unintentional comedy at its best.