ok so this is basically a site where a bunch of IMN fggts decided to “archive’ every metal band in history into a giant database. typically, sites like this are usually just laughed at but this one seems to be gaining a decent amount of notoriety. their “top 100 bands” include a bunch of bands that i either havent heard of (their number 1 band – Agathocles, who the fuck is that?) or bands that havent been relevant since the 60s/70s when they were active (black sabbath, motorhead, judast priest etc). heres the big problem- theyr leaving out influencial bands who have helped shape & define this generation’s music.
anyone ever heard of a little band called… oh i dont know… BRING ME THE HORIZON?
no results when u search bring me the horizon on metal-archives^
bring me the horizon are arguably one of the most influencial metal bands in the past decade – u cant look past that fact. more ppl look up to them than almost any other metal band. the even more offensive part – read this quote: “There are currently 85789 bands, 219875 registered users and 68020 reviews in Encyclopaedia Metallum. ” that means not only did they not decide to include BMTH, but 85,789 bands made the cut before them… i made a thread pointing out this error so they could get it fixed ASAP and literally within 5 minutes a mod comes in, locks the thread and bans me for NO reason. how can they expect their site to succeed if they operate like this in such a nazi fashion?
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NbB-XOnSAs&hl=en_US&start=40&hl=en_US&end=63]
tr00 pop punk girl talks about the talent and influence of bring the horizon^
so why do these IMNs keep trying to deny the power and influence of BMTH and other contemporaries such as parkway drive and suicide silence (both also not included on the site)? below i have provided a rating system with diferent categories to evaluate BMTH’s career and worth as a band to prove their importance and impact on the scene.. (ratings are out of 10)
innovation: 9
considering each bring me the horizon album has a distinct sound that we previously havent heard before, and a sound that is usually copied by many, i wuld say they are not lacking in the innovation department
versatility: 8.5
as pointed above, none of their releases sound the same, so for this i would argue that BMTH is very versitile
influence: 9.5
obviously as its been mentioned in this post, BMTH have influenced countless bands. if u think of one of ur fav bands from the last 5 years, chances are they were prob influenced by BMTH
skill/musicianship: 9
from their songs’ intricate breakdowns to their vocalist’s talented screams, their musical skill and musicianship is pretty hard to deny
live show: 9
tons of energy on stage, lots of ppl moshing, obviously they put on a good show for their fans
DIY work ethic:
lol jk i jus put this category here as a joke
controversy: 7.5
a category thats often overlooked when it comes to measuring the success of a band. more controversy = more publicity which = more success. considering all i could find was a story about the vocalist urinating on a female fan, i wuld say BMTH does not have alot of notable controversy under their belt.
achievements: 9
how many other modern metal bands have this many awards/nominations? none
image/band member attractiveness: 8
this category HAS to be taken into account when considering the most successful bands of current times. if we were just taking lead vocalist oli sykes into account, their rating here wuld prob be at around a 12, but i had to factor in the other members so i took it down 4 notches and leveled it off at 8.
popularity: 10
this is the one category that BMTH for SURE trumps every other band in. if u want proof, look at how many listeners they have on last.fm. look at how many ppl like them on facebook. look at their fucking youtube views for fuks sakes.
after adding all the categories up, that leaves them at a solid 9. now that ive proved BMTH’s worth as a band, hopefully the IMNs will recognize and finally put them into the database.
why is it important to have bands like bring me the horizon on metal-archives.com?
even tho most ppl in our generation realize the power and influence BMTH have, what about the younger generations? those are the impressionable ones that we have to look out for. picture some 12 year old kid who starts bein interested in heavy music stumbles upon metal-archives and thats his first reference point to the world of metal? he would grow up thinking BMTH are a bunch of irrelevant poseurs who had no bearing on the scene whatsoever. a similar parallel i could think of is bias in education and the school system. if metal-archives keeps gaining more and more power, such as the power that the school system has, i could see this problem worsening to that degree. plz plz do me a favor and head over to the suggestions and complaints section of their forum and let them know our concern on why BMTH shuld be included. mayb if u link them to this post and they read it, they will change their perspective. i wuld do so myself but ive already been banned from those boards under 3 separate accounts \m/
why are all IMNs such narrowminded elitists? do u consider bring me the horizon to be 1 of the most influencial bands of all time? what are ur fav BMTH songs and/or ur fav album by them?
Entering asshole mode: Making fun of metal archives is pretty played out and you approached it in a super played out way- “lol y arnt ‘popular-band-X-that-obviously-wouldnt-be-on-metal-archives’ not on metal archives, they must b IMNs!!!!”
A more annoying thing about metal archives is they are super restrictive about what constitutes ‘metal’, and many bands that are “IMN approved” and are important/well known/ought to be on there that arent %100 metal wont be on there. E.g. you cant find Agoraphobic Nosebleed on there even though there are 100000000000000 other grindcore bands that no one gives a shit about, and you cant find Locrian on there even though they are probably one of the most boundary pushing metal bands out there now.
played out? wtf? this post is one of the most boundry pushing metal posts out there now
no but srsly , who da fuk even makes fun of metal archives besides me?
da fuq
A lot of people make fun of MA (I still use it though, and not everyone on there necessarily is a butthurt elitist IMN, which surprised even me). Regardless, quality nor influence gets a band in there. There are bands IMNs love that aren’t there (Between the Buried and Me a great example) and bands they hate that ARE in there (Winds of Plague). They can be pretty harsh on the forums if you post on the wrong thread or whatever though. They expect you to look at previous threads discussing the eligibility of a particular band. Not butthurt, just explaining MA to someone who’s apparently not spent much time on it.
Yeah I noticed that too, tons of bands covered in IMN jizz are absent but then a lot of bands they get butthurt over all the time are there – what up wit dat yo
i actually used to post on/frequent metal-archives alot 5-6 years ago back when i was really into metal. i just dont understand all of this “alot of people make fun of MA” talk. do you mean people you guys talk to in your day to day conversations or do you mean other websites make fun of it? if its the latter plz post examples. if its the first one then you guys cant really discredit me. i mean, i dont hang around with a bunch of metalheads IRL so im not seeing the same shit as you guys. all i know is im the first person to make light of the site on SYWH.
I haven’t seen articles like this devoted to the subject, but I’ve seen a fair amount of little jokes within articles or comments/forums. Not trying to steal yo thunder, brah. They seem to have this system that defines metal while trying to set standards/precedents and subvert subjective opinion. I imagine it would be a pain in the ass to be a mod there.
ah kk. fair enough.
even tho ive been gettin all dis heat/negative feedback from this post, this is also the most responses ive gotten from one of my posts.
but for real im very passionate about writing quality material so i gotta go back to da drawing board i guess for a while and think of something epic.
I know you can do it! You have teh ability, beautiful.
Try spelling and grammar check. Google Chrome does that automatically now.:P
I would have to agree with you here on this one. Although Bring Me the Horizon is deathcore, the metal-archives does allow deathcore bands on the website and Bring Me the Horizon is very influential. They haven’t banned me yet but I think I’ve irritated them.
and inb4 ‘umad/butthurt/u must no a lot about metal/IMN’. Im only mad about them not including my artsy, NPRcore cool-dad pet bands on their site :(
no. more like u are an IMN becaus youre 1 of the few ppl who know about metal-archvies and think its this rly popular site that every1 likes to make fun of
this is the first time any1 mentioned metal-archives on stuffyouwillhate… i just gave them their 15 minutes of fame
aye i respect u for checkin out the post tho on the real
Yeah, I’ve never heard of this site either before this post. Then again, I avoid every music website but this one. Not sure if I just helped or hurt your argument, haha
Well, at least they have a page for Slipknot! http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Slipknot/102128
lmaooo
“Not to be confused with the nu-metal band Slipknot from Des Moines, Iowa.”
reading is tech.
That slipknot 7″ is good shit.
I have also stated my love for Rudimentary Peni and Uniform Choice on here in the past though.
Gotta admit that this post looks a little uninspired. Doesn’t SargeantD review other people’s blog posts before he puts them on the site? Nice effort though.
C-
aight im sorry ill try harder next time for u guize
u guys gotta suggest topics for me to write about tho. i made a thread in the forum askin ppl to give me topics they wanna see me write about n only 2 ppl responded
Don’t worry brah i feel your pain… I got writer’s block right now on my post but i will finish it (one day =P) via me being a lazy brown dude lolz
plz respond
the best part of this article is i cant tell if its complete sarcasm or sincerity. I was going with sincerity until the rating system. bravo sir. Even though i don’t care about the metal data base i find it amusing that they are not listed now that you have pointed it out. metal nerds are the worst.
thx bro atleast sum1 liked it
post-irony is the new sarcasm
I’m still on the MA forums a lot these days, and I remember that thread you made. Guess I should have known it was a SYWHer. I remember that BMTH, Suicide Silence and Emmure all used to be on the archives a few years ago. I think the mods ended up saying that not only did they no longer consider them metal enough, they ended up attracting so much negative attention there was really no point in having them on there anymore. Their pages were just a place for metal nerds to get butthurt over them, so why not get rid of them? I guess some reviews might have been funny to read. I know I’d be right there, defending all those bands, (espesh BMTH and SS debuts).
Really, the MA is for metal nerds to do their metal nerd thing. I used to be a huge metalhead (my interest in it has been dwindling for a while though) and this site is as big a part of metal to me as the actual music. Let the babies have their bottle.
but taking away things to get butthurt over removes IMN’s reason for existence
Sometimes cold turkey is the only way to surmount the insurmountable :/
Pretty much this-plus, the only bands that people complain about not being on MA are really big bands with information about them all over the internet. Just use a different website to get your info on them.
this post reeks of tryhard and is making me sad.
i might be the only one that feels this way.. but the pseudo-mock internet “hey guyz” speak is starting to get played out, yo. i know that a lot of the humor around here is built around it but fuck, can we try and keep it fresh
Still funny when D does it, but when people try to emulate it they tend to overplay it. I enjoy reading posts by other writers as long as they’re not trying to channel D.
This! Sarge makes a lot of things funny that just can’t be copied–jelly of your innovative comedic skill dog!
word.
:D
First site I ever saw adopt this writing style was Hipster Runoff. At the time (2007-8) it seemed kind of innovative but now it seems like such an obvious thing to do.
also turning this into critique thread.
serious though, i liked the premise. i can find the local band that released 1 demo and played a show in my cousin marty’s backyard 3 summers ago, but the more mainstream, “untrue” bands dont get a mention. fuck, as much as i hate BMTH at least i can be sure they actually exist.
Yeah, I find it helpful for looking at band discographies when they’re bands that are so small they don’t come up on Wikipedia. And for those tiny bands it’s great. Also, searching lulzy words like ‘Goblin’ or ‘Sword’ and tring to find the shittiest band logo, or guess the genre from the country of origin is a fun little game.
Man what’s with the butthurt comments? I thought it was a good post.
+1, laughed, troll is successful. Especially since someone else in the comments saw the thread and thought it was a SYWHer
being a fellow IMN (don’t worry i come in peace!!!), I would like to point out that even tho i hate the faggety fagz that are BMTH, I can say that they are popular and do wut dey do reel good. I cannot hate on em since they be getting nice jailbait teens n shit (don’t h8, congratulate!/in be4 have a seat over there) so therefore i think they should be included along with the other core bands n shit….
now back to me catching up on Louie (I just saw the ep. w/ dat unfunny british guy ricky something as the doctor friend and i akshually loled at him being an actual funny ass doctor haha!!! must keep on trekking thru season 1 #<3Netflix/Hulu/Streaming sites/internet faggotry!!)
Ricky Gervais is hilarious, but that episode is some of his funniest imo. Has such a good time being such an asshole, come to think of it I’m going to put that on right now haha.
Latinoheat is an IMN? sad day :(
praying 4 u
The first step is admitting you have a problem.
This whole article made me get BMTH’s music so I could enjoy Count Your Blessings again.
yes!! exactly da type of response i was hoping to evoke!
I’m only familiar with Count Your Blessings and Suicide Season tho. Is hella long title album good? The chick that got me into them said only their first album is good.
“Thats just like her opinion man”
also i think their newest album is badass
True dat, ‘sides bitch didn’t even put out. Fuckin’ chicks and their commitments to bf’s. But on the real Suicide Season is fucking sick and idk how anybody wouldn’t think so. There is a whatever is cool too.
I remember when I was an active member of MA: Back in 08 they had BTBAM, Protest the Hero, Bring Me the Horizon, Avenged Sevenfold. Even though I was an anally sensitive IMN during those dark times, I got a kick outta reading the ultra negative essay-reviews that people wrote for Count Your Blessings or City of Evil.
Anyone else remember UltraBoris? That fucker wrote the funniest reviews.
it sucked when they deleted a bunch of his reviews
Ultra boris was a female, IE the dark angel review.
You have achieved anal pain from both sides of the table here. 10/10
Metal Archives is the stupidest. There are bands on that site that aren’t even remotely metal ( a buncha “ambient black metal” bands that don’t even have a single distorted riff) but stay up cuz they’re IMN-approved but won’t accept MERAUDER. I do submit small local bands onto there so that there’ll be places for them to get internet hits if they get Googled by someone who saw them at a show and I get a kick out of trying to trick them into accepting hardcore bands or seeing hardcore bands that have snuck onto there by having some Swedecore riffs.
‘Swedecore’ made me giggle.
Howzabout “SwedishChefCore” i.e. Borknagar?
You’re a stupid cunt ambient black metal is metal you fucking faggot, music doesnt need distorted riffs to be metal you cunt, you’re probably some dumb-arse poser fag.
yeah it does dumby, thats why emmure is metal and agaylock isn’t
HUGE IMN/faggot reporting here…been on ol’ metal-archives.com for years now (username is cweed) and while SYWH has definitely changed my life for the better (srs), I must say that yeah, felt this post was kind of weak, sorry :(
Obviously metal-archives/metal nerd gayness is funny to laugh at, I feel like this post is the equivalent to making fun of black metal dudes in corpsepaint or something…it’s OK tho, everything else on here is A+!!!
Negative fucks given about if BMTH are on MA or not.
Why get butthurt over IMN’s being butthurt over BMTH?
While I feel that the criticism in the comments is overbearing, I have seen better posts from you.
That being said, I still laughed, but this “metal-archives” business is completely new to me, I guess if I’d been around it for years it might seem entry level.
On a completely unrelated note, thanks for reminding me about pop punk girl. Her videos are so adorably sincere, its fascinating. Like is this some sort of troll? I really can’t tell. The comments are still ridiculous too
thx bro. u have always been one of the more solid commentators to me
pop punk girl is friggin cute i wanna marry her
I guess I should want to marry her, but I’m more just fascinated by the utter naivety and (apparent?) sincerity of her videos. This combined with the excessively outspoken youtube comments on both sides of whatever pointless argument she accidentally prompted are priceless.
It reminds me of the somewhat recent simpsons episode where Ralph Wiggam accidentally gets a presidential nomination, and both Republicans and Democrats go crazy over it
So I can say something positive, know that you had me fucking dead @ the DIY ethic thing. *appluaz*
Yeah, I lold at this too
Nice try bro.. could have gone either way, but I got kind of nothing cept just slightly entertained.
Sall good tho brah appreciate the efforts
I Killed The Prom Queen are entering the studio soon. Look that up surely they have something you can write about!
Good job, Good effort.
Oh man, I think you should just pull up the website’s ToS. It’s so fucking hilarious that they actually took the time to outline all the bands that send them into buttpain. They didn’t even try to hide how upset they were that anyone didn’t agree with their lulzy conceptions of what is and isn’t metal.
That said, I think BMTH is a very mediocre band. Influential no doubt, but still not that great. Kinda like Black Sabbath. Tons of bands mimic them even if they just suck beyond belief.
inb4 NOT YOUR PERSONAL ARMY
That said, I got some chuckles out of this thread, but I feel there is a LOT of wasted potential. Metal-archives has been something that people make fun of for a while now, at least in the circles I move in.
Yes, Metal-archives is so bad OTHER IMN’s make fun of them.
For real, they have an incredibly blinkered view of what is “tr00″ and what is not, all the while still having these gajillion shitty power metal bands on the page along with a metric fuckton of other bullshit.
The real fun with that site though, is still just clicking “Random Band” and lol’ing hard over all the shitty tryhards. All the South American/south Euro entry level Thrash bands with shitty misspelled english, eastern euro Slam bands with stupid band pics, one-man BM Projects that never released anything. Srs, the lulz never stop.
‘random band’ is the best. check out these cool bros in termination force: http://www.metal-archives.com/images/3/5/4/0/3540297095_photo.jpg
came to post about the myriad joys of “Random Band”, thx for covering this extremely important aspect of the site, bros.
You’re a stupid fucking cunt, metal-archives is a great way for discovering new bands, you’re just a dumb butthurt emo faggot, whos throwing a tantrum because he couldnt find his shitty bring me the horizon mallcore faggot music he considers BROOTAL! to cut yourself to, fucking faggot, metal archives kicks you’re arse you poser cunt.
Aw, you’re adorable! <3
…and also proved pretty much every negative thing said in this thread, six months too late. Good job. Praying4u
who gives a fuck about MA anyways? if i were in a band i wouldn’t want to be included on that shitty list.
I don’t get it, how can you NOT want to stand alongside Serbian Thrash legends FLUSH, who released the timeless classic “Piece Of Hell” with the international superhits “Thrash Is All Around” and “Black Mattery” in 2006?
http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Flush/69599
Wish I had a slam band called “Black Mattery”
Emblackmentmatteryation
Dude this shit was lame.
n o yea wood hold hands wiff tro0o0 pop punk girl n ask her to go “steady”/10
her skinny cuteness makes me want to be younger n stalk her on her tumblr >;-D
lets make the next step bby
also was torn by lolling and painful awareness of friends who say stuff that’s in people’s ma signature
“I’ll go slow.”
#creepxmob
I feel like this post would have been more successful on metal-sucks or something, where people actually care about Metal archives (or metal in general) and still get colon crucified over referencing BMTH in 2012.
colon crucified
ded
stealing this for future reference
I wouldnt have read it on metalsucks.net, and then I wouldnt have discovered my old band is on MA http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Double_Dragon/61872
YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH
No wonder we sucked.
Disregarding the article and focusing on more important things, am I the only one who wants to put it in her butt? I feel liek she’d be so earnest about the whole thing, it’d be great.
She’s too innocent and cute for anal sex you degenerate schweinhund!!!
Setup, punchline, execution, A+.
used to hate on bmth but i gotta admit i kinda like them now. they write decent songs imo. liked them much more after watching the lads on tour film, they seem like funny/chill guys.
“2. Metalness – The second requirement is more difficult to assess as accurately as the existence of a physical release, but the staff here mostly knows what is metal and what isn’t. Mistakes do happen, and if you are absolutely certain a mistake has been done, show us the band’s music and we’ll listen. Do not argue the decisions. This thread is a court of appeals, not a shouting match. If you act rudely and/or refuse to accept the decision, you might get banned. And provide samples, otherwise it will not lead to anything. ”
the term “metalness” never not funny.
I had never listened to BMTH until and I just youtube’d one of their songs. Why do IMN’s hate this band so much? They seemed to go fairly hard. I must be because they actually have women fans.
Female fanbase = IMN-do-not-want. Sausage-fest only, always. NekroForestFapper-ArmoredBasementLord Law no.1
I liked this post and found it funny and anyone who disagrees is wrong because they like what i dont like
sywh readers are slowly becoming the new IMN :(
chill dafuq out and make jokez about erry thang
If the metal-archives was what it should be, then the metalcore bands, hair metal bands, and nu-metal bands would all be included.
I remember when BMTH were in M-archives. Their main-page photo was this: http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/500/8559067/Bring+Me+The+Horizon+BMTH+myspace+profile.jpg (imagine the butt-hurt level caused to the metalfags there)
People started writing reviews with headlines like “OMG HOW IS DIS METUL?”/”WAT DIS EMO BAND DO IN METALARCHIVES?” and give BMTH 0%-10% without even listening to their albums. I admit, it was quite funny reading them.
i like agathocles :-( . i thought they were more of a band crusties were into tho,
i like agathocles
I have literally never heard anyone say this in the 20 years I have been aware of that band (srs)
didnt look them up when i wrote this post. but just did now
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agathocles_(band)
& goddamn @ that split 7 inch discography
in the 90s, it would not be at all unusual for Agathocles to release 2-4 split 7″s in a month
not a fan of the music but theyr dedicated ill give them that
they actually have 1 good song, on the first ‘blllleeeaaarrggh’ comp!
LOL
LMAO – not sure if serious but funny either way = one of my favorite parts about SYWH
This post was lame as fuck… As many have pointed out, making fun of Metal Archives is played out… Plus, as was also pointed out, BMTH isn’t left out because the MA mods are IMNs, they are left out because BMTH isn’t considered metal (Metal Archives doesn’t add hardcore bands).
Bands in the “scene” on Metal Archives:
Winds of Plague: http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Winds_of_Plague/42210
Job For A Cowboy: http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Job_for_a_Cowboy/42638
Whitechapel: http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Whitechapel/100482
Despised Icon: http://www.metal-archives.com/bands/Despised_Icon/5494
These bands are in the same scene as BMTH (for the most part) but they are metal and BMTH is hardcore.
now dat i have relieved my mild butthurt from last night, i must ask again, and this is out of curiosity not butthurt..
what other sites/who else makes fun of metal-archives? when i told sarge about the site not too long ago, he hadnt even heard of it
can sum1 plz answer me?
I must have misunderstood, I am definitely aware of MA (and what a wretched hive of butthurt faggtory it is)
yeah i had a hard time believing you didnt know about it tbh
but where are you guys getting this whole “everyone makes fun of metal-archives”. its the first time theyr mentioned on here thats what should count.. rite? :(
But your post was lame, dude… That’s the issue. Yes Metal Archives is run by a bunch of butt hurt old fggts, we know. Write something interesting. Oh and stop being so butthurt that your post was a flop, it happens, no one hates you for it. Man up, brah.
my post wasnt a flop its jus bad feedback and false claims
“omgz every1 makes fun of metal-archives dats played out”
*no one makes fun of metal-archives*
besides, i wasnt even tryin to make fun of them. jus tryin to make a point as to why BMTH should be included on their site
Correction: No one has made an entire post dedicated to shitting on MA. The site has been mentioned by D and a few other writers on here a whole bunch of times, usually including it in a list of other faggotry-infested shit holes to be ripped on.
Either way, whether MA specifically gets posted about or not, long posts ripping on certain IMN bastions have been done to death (I’m guilty of this too) and it just comes across as “late to the party”.
kk yer right my next posts are gonna be next level
We know you will bro!!!
3rd time ive seen this starwars reference used by you. Keep them coming (srs)
I know sarge doesn’t like to censor or edit other people’s posts, but I wish he would do something about all the IMN’s posting shit about metal constantly (while calling other people IMN’s). Or perhaps they could just develop a little bit if social awareness and realise no-one else cares about their gay music and culture?
did you just call me an IMN? ?
ok now i know u guys are trolling me to get me going
successful troll 10/10
This is why we cannot discuss metal on SYWH– it ALWAYS results in negativity and buttpain. I initially did not want to post this for that reason, but I figured I would take a chance and let it ride.
NEVER AGAIN!
im so sry . i wasnt even gonna post about metal at all and i figure id do something different. but twas a mistake. i guess deathcore nostalgia posts are the only thing metal-related that i’ll get love from on here.
I’m sorry, it’s just the way things have to be– discussing metal on the internet is like an industrial-strength magnet for butthurt faggotry and negativity. I wish it was possible for people to post about metal on SYWH, but it just isn’t :/ fggts gonna fggt
i have very little interest in posting about metal anyway
i jus hope ppl dont hate me now and remember the good posts i made
/wrist
Not trying to be negative, but what made me love SYWH so much in the first place was all of the different posts on music and youth phenomena that I hadn’t heard of, hadn’t noticed, or liked/noticed but hadn’t seen articulated in such a smart/funny/enjoyable format. Oversrs metalfags can be annoying/lulzy, but at this point so much has been said and seen concerning them that I’m pretty much burned out on the subject (as well as reading about other pet lame people, for that matter – tumblr womanysts is another group that comes to mind). Personally I’m just more into talking about/laughing at stuff that I like, rather than talking about people/stuff that I think sucks.
That said, I can totally feel you on being a bit bummed when people don’t take to your stuff in the way you hope they do. I don’t think my last post really went over in the way I hoped it would either, but hey, it happens. You’ve done plenty of interesting stuff, and I’m sure there’s more to come :)
But if I may offer a suggestion: You possess some pretty next-level knowledge of swept-under 90s/2000s music/trends, so maybe you should focus on writing to your strengths in that department (and connecting those dots to more contemporary subjects), rather than on dumb people getting mad about stuff. Again, hope I’m not coming across too critical or butthurt, just trying to help an internet bro out!
ok thanks alot for this response. makes me feel better.
tbh when i made this post i didnt think it was amazing nor did i think it was uninspired (altho i prob shouldnt be writing uninspired posts in the first place even tho i have made uninspired posts like my easycore one), i just thought it was solid. i thought the idea of having a rating system to try to convince IMNs a certain band is good and then adding categories like “image/band member attractiveness” & “popularity” pretty funny though. but i guess im jus strokin my own cock at this point.
youre right tho, the whole making fun of IMNs has prob been done to death by now, i guess its just cause it was the first time i myself did it that it seemed fresh. not to come across too defensive but i didnt even wanna write about metal much at all and jus felt like doin something different. im moreso interested in writing about subjects such as the current increase in fangirling and the resurgence of boy bands (see my last post).
your posts def have the ability tho. i lol’d hard @ that modeling site. and this is an epic quote “I am KortniKannibal, I am not so called “Scene”. I am a complex mixture of goth and modern punk.” next level shit right there. and your easycore post was dope. i might write more about underground/forgotten neon-pop bands since my knowledge of that is endless but it might fall under the “not sure if ppl give a fuck” category.
oh well. thx for checkin my stuff out anyway
Also try polishing your posts a little more bro. Sorry not trying to be a grammar nazi, but the purposeful overuse of numbers and stuff instead of words + other “I didn’t listen in school” type wierdness makes it really hard to read. It works in small amounts but not as a whole post.
& yeah as other people said, stick to your stengths, not everything has to be a troll / flame post. Post about bands you like.
It works in small amounts but not as a whole post.
nugget of wisdom acquired
It’s a shame doe. I love discussing the stupid and ridiculous things about metal and its fans in an endearing way that only those who actually know about it can. Alas :(
aww goddamnit and i was thinking of making a post on “WHY KORN KIX ASS!!!” n chit.. goddamnit =/
Not allowed, sorry :/ Don’t blame me, blame the assmad fggts who will show up and ruin it for everyone.
THIS IS WHY WE CANT HAVE NICE THINGS
I stopped reading about metal (still my fave music) & metal sucks cos I was bored of the arguin :( http://youtu.be/1sONfxPCTU0
LOL read this review about Despised Icon’s ‘The Ills of Modern Man’.
Despised Icon – The Ills Of Modern Man – 0%
Every time I think of Despised Icon, I picture that shirt they have with the surgical tools arrayed around the collar. If that isn’t a rip-off of the Tools Of The Trade EP by Carcass, I certainly do not know what is. And that pisses me off, because Despised Icon don’t deserve to lick the pussy sweat off of Carcass’s endocervical brush.
Despised Icon are, admittedly, a talented Canadian deathcore group. However, talent does nothing to bolster the enjoyability of the music. It is merely a tool used to facilitate the musical ideas of the composer. If the composer doesn’t have a concept of what sounds good, then predictably his music will be bad. Talent does nothing to remedy this, only make talent necessary to perform his bad music.
I never desire to hate a band. I give every band I listen to a lengthy, indiscriminate assessment (occasionally more than once, over the span of a year). Not only have I given Despised Icon a chance with their recordings, but also a chance in a live setting. Based on the multiple disappointments I’ve had with this band, I fully embrace my hatred for their bland, chugging, tough-guy-wannabe deathcore.
The instrument that makes or breaks a band is the guitar. Even if the vocals are horrible, they can be redeemed by the mighty riff. Even if the drums are impeccable, they can be tarnished by soulless strumming. The latter is the case for Despised Icon’s music. Even if that drummer was doing blast beats whilst cartwheeling over shark tanks, he could not pull his band’s music out of the gutter. The two shitty guitarists and their shitty riffs make this a shitty listening experience.
Am I the only one that doesn’t see the charm in polyrhythms? It’s all well and good when Meshuggah does it, because they make it interesting. However, all of Despised Icon’s polyrhythmic riffs are, in actuality, fillers that other bands use as transitions. Every metal band chugs, but Despised Icon’s formula is predominately devoted to chugging. And this is where the problem lies, because chugs are meant to ADD texture to a song, not be the only source of it.
Every song on The Ills Of Modern Man feels like a shoddy cutting-and-pasting of riffs. You have the uninspired palm riff, the riff that’s supposed to groove (yet doesn’t), the speedy riff, and the breakdown riff. Melody is barely discernible because they mute every riff. Sure, Fainted Blue Ornaments takes an ‘unexpected turn’ with some moody synths, morose chord plucking, and an oh-so-dramatic tapped lead. I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a step in the right direction. However, it was too little effort too late, and only exists to close the album. It can safely be assumed that if the album went on for the rest of time, it would be the same chug-groove-break-chug formula the entire time.
A further accent to the band’s poor songwriting are the horrendous vocalists. When they’re not yelling, they’re breeing. When they’re not breeing, they’re gang voxin’. While I never quite understood why gang vocals were detestable before, I sure understand it now. I can’t tell what’s worse between the hoarse bellows and pitiful squeals. But that’s alright– there’s room enough at the bottom of the gutter for two.
All in all, this serves to be nothing short of a waste of time. To the extreme metal fans who keep getting told Despised Icon is a prime cut of deathcore: don’t believe it. Nothing you love about thrash, death, or black, or grind can be salvaged from this horrible mess. Do yourself a favor and dismiss the hype. It’s undeserved.
0 / 10
Well, he really didn’t enjoy that album much at all.
+ 11
I love when people say “I’m not trying to hate this thing I don’t like”, and dedicate 5+ paragraphs to talking about how much the hate the said thing they don’t like. If writing a five-point essay on why you dislike something doesn’t constitute effort, these people must build astounding things when they actually DO “try”.
Well, either that, or they are just trying to skirt the fact that they are negative fggts that revel in shitting on things they dislike.
No, faggots= people like you who are butthurt over a negative review.
That first paragraph = mind bottling
unsurprisingly all the reviews of Neurosis albums sound like they were written by gushing tweens. Why do people ride that band’s dick so much?
Probably because they have the fucking ability <3
Yeah I believe they do have that thing known in these parts as:
THE ABILITY.
Fuck knows why because they are fucking boring.
Shwing
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWdd6_ZxX8c
God alive, I AM an IMN and Metal Archives makes my anal sphincter convulse in agony. The absolute worst people.
Niec post brah, disregard the localised buttpain :)
Sign of recovery brah.
I’ve always viewed the ability to view MA as an embarassment at best as a sign of health and hope.
I rlly don’t get why this post makes people buttmad. It has the ability. Y can’ t we discuss metal without returning to old imn habbits in the comments? thought we were smarter by now :(
it’s like how you can take a dog to obedience school, and think that he’s finally learned to stay on the leash and be a good doggy. But then you are walking him in the park and that yappy little poodle from across the street gets too close and he just can’t help himself, barking and straining at the leash like he never spent a second in obedience school.
Even reformed IMNs cannot help but turn into negative faggots with excessively strong opinions when they are exposed to metal-related content. It is not their fault though, they have a disease that is beyond their control. They are like alcoholics, who know that if they have ‘just one drink’ they will end up passed out in the gutter before they know it.
For the good of both IMNs and ourselves, we must avoid exposing them to the thing that exacerbates their disease. In a perfect world, it would be possible to discuss metal in a reasonable way, but we do not live in a perfect world. Therefore, metal simply cannot be discussed at all.
lololol. this comment has the ability.
came here to comment about how I liked this post but that it’s sad to see SYWH commenters being neg :/. I think there’s still hope for a brighter future where former IMNs can DGAF about death/thrash/black/w/e dubstep squabblings. brb starting a charity for helping IMNs recover, brb avenged sevenfold are playing at the benefit concert, dearlordwhatisitwehavewrought
THIS x a million. I think this post was pretty average, I had some mild lols, not a riot but really not a bad post by any means.
Sarge’s comment confirms to me that my more accurate view of this post (absent of buttpain) is due to the fact that my knowledge and interest in metal begins and ends with Slayer and does not involve internet discussions in any way. Thus, it is not only fresh material to me, but I am not emotionally invested in it in any way.
The fact that there are like 100 butthurt comments surprised me greatly.
great comment on the youtube video
“your so intelligent. your like my new roll model :’) your so gorgeous too by the way.
-kkk666chloe”
THIS HURTS! aaargh
Someone’s sleeping on their stomach tonight
No read other comments, jsut post.
MA is great for slam doe. If i discover some really crappy and awesome generic slam band from indonesia or Eastern europe that is on amputated vein or something, i want to look them up to see if they have more stuff that i can get down with.
ugh WHY isnt ENPEDESTALMENT on this site??? fucking faggots.
BLACKLISTED BY METAL-FAGGOTS.COM
kekeke
The fuck is going on with the butthurt!?!? Must have a lot of recovering IMN’s who used to go on this site and feel as if they need to don their glistening White Armor to defend what they once loved.
A+ post, keep rockin bby <3
<3<3
I gave Against the World by WoP an 85% and they didn’t accept the review lol
That’s most likely because it wasn’t well-written. After all, Decimate the Weak has a 90% review and a 100% review.
8.5… do u write for IGN or something
LOL I got that reference. IGN is right up there with MA in regards to a legion of nerds butthurt by rating scores.
Oh D, thanks for this. We are brothas from the same mother cos I’ve been trolling that site with Emmure reviews forever. Seriously though, site is great: despite the elitism most of the reviews are high quality.
P.S. Cheers for the Cori vid. Knowing shes an annoying suburban brat who is super opinionated but is cute as hell/10.
D did not write this! There are other good and lovely writers for SYWH here. Glad you enjoyed it anyway :brofist:
Nice post Uppercut, I lol’d and felt moved. It’s p sad to see stuff like this exists for metuhl (having been a little metal nerd during my teenage years then slowly growing away from it due to the fact that I can’t relate AT ALL to their mentalities on things.)
There’s still some chill metal fans I know nowadays, but they’re few and far between. ALSO, MASSIVE LOL AT THE BUTTHURT ON THE COMMENTS, maybe we shouldn’t write m3tul articles here :(
@Dudebro – Is that an actual “rule” from the sIte? My god, my anus!!!!!! That Is some serIously fggty shIt, but It’s a prrtty good IncentIve to go and stIr up some head-In-ass metal poofs. I lyk mItIlz but I dont take It serIously enough to be forever buttmad (not anymore anyway) and thanks to Sarge D and SYWH, I have learned the ways of unserIousness, to laff at myself and my Interests, and to laff at people who thInk theIr opInIons on my Interests amount to anythIng. Sarge – u r my hero!!! :’D
Also, thIs post was rly good, I dIg It, good job Uppercut!
That was a sweet post uppercut613. A part from the Bring Me fan love I felt reading this, you raise a valid point about the whole elitist thing on there. that for an april fools they added Korn, and low and behold the commune jumped at the mods in bottomless rage. PS, lost my shit when you crossed out the negative poll results, don’t know why. For discussion, There Is A Hell is my favourite album by them
this html code stuff isn’t very helpful. Basically, I’ve listened to There Is A Hell a fucking lot.
I though this post was funny. I don’t know why people are getting so bent out of shape.
I read the Metal-Archives site just to find out discography information about bands, but I have never even thought of reading the forums. I can only assume that they are out of control with buttfrustration.
As some other people mentioned above there is definitely some funny shit on that site though. 10 paragraph reviews about some shitty insignificant pornogrind band / pictures of some jabroni band from Montenegro will never fail to make me laugh.
Anyway, don’t beat yourself up over this post.
Also, I assumed this was written by Sarge when I opened it. My head almost exploded at the thought that he didn’t know who Agothocles were.
This whole comments is hilarious. Everyone has forgotten that this is where butthurt goes to die, not to flare up and get all, “OMG U DO EVRYTHNG WRNG!! Y U NO SERGD?”
anyway, someone said they like coming here to find about youthful things that are popular with the youth. Can someone explain what 2chainz is?
I want these comments to please be safe.
2chainz is a combination of Waka flocka and Jar-jar binks. To create beutiful ignant music for for white boys to swoon over, including myself.
BMTH used to be on the archives, so were other deathcore bands, but butthurt elitists decided to take them off the site for being scene.
The hurting of the butts, it makes my pee pee hard!
I am boycotting this post because it does not endorse or advocate violence against the IMN.
C’mon, dude. SYWH is about helping other people out and having harmless fun, not being a dick.
You must be new here
I’m relatively new to commenting but I’ve been a reader for a while. I’m just saying at a certain point, if we keep thinking we’re better than elitist butthurt IMNs, don’t we become the elitists? It’s a slippery and ironic slope.
honestly i dont think im better than elitist IMNs. i dont think anything i post on here should be taken too seriously.
Oh I’m not talking about you, uppercut. I’m just saying in general that it’s a danger to us all if that mentality grows too much :c
lovers > haters
i agree with that message totally
my next posts are gonna be more positive
I’m guessing you are unfamiliar with Nustej’s particular brand of commenting then…. Lrn how to determine what’s srs and what’s not srs bro
I’m sure he wasn’t being srs, but the joke kind of just rubbed me the wrong way and made me feel some hurt in my butt.
Uh I mean…. YEAH NUSTEJ SHUT THE FUCK UP
BE NICE, YOU FAG
late to the comment party but for the life of me, I can NOT figure out why everyone is complaining about this post, I liked it =\
uppercut, u have the ability, pls never change :((
thx bro. dont wrry i wont change bros
Let me get this straight…
Not including -core bands on the Metal Archives, which specializes in metal, not -core, is somehow elitist? That’s like saying, “Why don’t they count tomatoes as a vegetable?! It tastes like a vegetable, so it must be a vegetable!”
Pro-Tip: Just because it’s loud and has guitars doesn’t mean it’s metal.
“But they’re keeping out Bring Me the Horizon because the mods all hate them!”
You know who else the mods all hate? Sonata Arctica. Funny how they’re on the site and BMTH aren’t, despite both groups being hated by the mods!
well. atleast i managed to troll one person.
Oh, please. Don’t even start with the “i was juts trollign al along lolol” backpedaling bullshit.
Someone seems upset.
funny thing is: bmth influenced sonata artica
another reason why they should be on MA
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lkao4pEMYl1qd6h8q.gif
Sonata Arctica are a pretty good black metal band but they aren’t as good at it as Cradle of Filth or Abigail Williams tbh
abigail williams is really good at capturing the norwegian ’92 sound. i heard they recorded their first album in a forest.
Actually I think that was their fifth cassette-only demo. But imo Cradle is really what true black metal is all about <3
well of course they are, they coined the term black metal back in 1991
The person who’s never heard of Agathocles is a fuckin’ loser.
im sorry i dont specialize my tastes in belgian political grindcore
It’s funny you should say that, as I usually consider knowledge of Agathocles a strong indicator that I should avoid someone.
I wonder why!
i could not possibly endorse this criterion more
just checked back to see if the butthurt was still burning (appears to be hot coals now). couldn’t care less about metal either way, but this style of post is a bit tired/overdone by sywh standards tbh. that said, i love 99% of the posts on here, and i extend a brofist to all the writers. simultaneously.
Fuck. Lotta comments up in here.
Just throwing it out there, but BMTH have gotten a lot more original/expansive in who they rip off since their first album.
<3 U OLIVER AND THAT AUSSIE GUY
Starting at this post, metal archives people talk about uppercut613′s article for a couple pages:
http://www.metal-archives.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=83275&p=2124372#p2124372
man, those forums are negative as fuck. I see why you guys hate metal nerds, I’m gonna go back to be ignorant of their existence for my own well being.
iAm: “I dismissed any credibility of that article as soon as I saw “u.”"
theposega: “They are the anti-butthurt capital of the internet, though they actually get butthurt a decent amount. That said, the article I posted is easily the worst one I’ve read on there (and I’ve read a damn good amount of them). Tryhard as fuck and just not funny at all, which is especially bad since it’s a comedy site.”
ModusOperandi: “Just because their intentions are to be self-indulgently “humorous” doesn’t actually make it so. I can’t be the only one whom finds this sort of sarcastic/ironic/absurdist/referential whatever that’s been breeding over the past few years across several forms of media to be absolutely retarded.”
Veracs: “If you like shitty music, you like shitty music, by why relegate a bunch of people you congregate with on a forum with that little pejorative?”
PhilosophicalFrog: “I’M AN ELITIST, FUCK OFF AND DIE.”
John_Sunlight: “I found the article author’s and SeargentD’s comments particularly hypocritical on this point, as they consistently cited the end goal of reducing drama and increasing discourse while advancing a means of expression designed to reduce discourse and increase drama.”
OneRodeToAsaBay: “I don’t really care whether their intentions and opinions are sincere or not. I just don’t get the apparently broad appeal of this type of ‘luls’ and ‘u mad’ humor at all but, then again, I’m one of the stupid suckers doing janitorial work on this site and forum and, believe it or not, mental diarrhea ain’t quite so fun when you’re the one clearing it up…”
GuntherTheUndying: “If it pisses someone off because their favorite fagcore isn’t listed, then fuck ‘em. Who gives a shit?”
Under_Starmere: “A troll website with neon green leopard print background is worth this much heated conversation? Fuck this.”
BastardHead: something about some movie, not gonna quote the whole thing…
MalignantThrone: (talking about Metal-Archives) “I think this place is extremely fair”
failsafeman: “the butthurt majority likes to brand anyone they don’t like an “elitist”. Made fun of a band they like? Elitist. Aren’t as Open-Minded (TM) as they are? Elitist! Called them out on their bullshit? ELITIST!!!111″
Ancient_Sorrow “The Elitist in me especially, sees events. In the bar tonight, for example, someone in a Slipknot hoodie, and various other “mallcore” signature clothing gave me the sign of the horns. He seemed a perfectly nice, friendly guy, and I gave the sign back, but a part of me, the elitest part, voiced it’s opinion in my head; “That’s not his!That sign belongs to us, to metal.”
Empyreal: “I like to make fun of/talk about stuff I dislike… So sometimes people think that makes me an elitist…”
lord_ghengis: “While largely everything has been summed up, one thing I want to discuss is the “only listens to metal” thing, I kinda do that, there are a few bands or more often albums I like outside of metal, but I really couldn’t consider myself a fan of any other genres.”
To be fair, theposega said “That’s how most of the shit is written on that site, actually. It’s actually a really cool place with a really cool idea behind it: ‘caring about anything is gay.’”
And later: “Not take anything seriously b/c yolo*
The best articles for sure though are the life advice ones where Sarge shares his wisdom.”
Thashierthanthou said “The whole point of that blog is to not take music too seriously, or else you’ll wind up on Metal Archives getting irritated when people make jokes about the tight restrictions that this site has on what bands are accepted.”
And later: “I really like all the posts about pop punk/easycore that I pretended to hate when I was 14 because people on Metal Archives said that it’s not real music. I was just scrolling through the featured posts on the side of the main page, decided to check out the Blink 182 post, and am now jamming Enema Of The State. Such a good album.”
TheExodusAttack said “I’m with you there bro! Some of my favorite bands at the moment are the heavy pop punk bands which I’ve come to accept and love after spending a lot of time on SYWH: A Day to Remember, Chunk No Captain Chunk, City Lights, Fight Fair, etc. I’ve discovered so much music from there really, from 90s metalcore and powerviolence, to sick modern hardcore/deathcore bands. I feel like I’m “one of those guys” who feel that SYWH has played a major part in shaping my personality recently: it helped me give up the uptightness that comes with the metal attitude and become laid back and not let dumb things bother me.”
And there’s myself, who likes Paramore just as much as Gorgoroth.
The point is that not everyone on the site is a butthurt butthole. However there are obviously a good amount of douchebag IMNs as well (that Veracs guy in particular seems to be a totally negative asshole based on the posts I’ve seen of his).
^ wow, i am amazed/stoked to read those (srs)! that’s actually pretty cool
Please disregard those posts. When discussing IMNs, the sites which they congregate at must be understood as monolithic entities which are collectively toxic to the social fabric of all music fandom.
I’m the Thashierthanthou bro… Glad that you’re mirin the posi vibe that the SYWH community is trying to bring. :)
“That sign belongs to us, to metal.””
PROJECTILE SHITTING FROM LAFFING SO HARD
The sentence immediately after that: “I think, at the end of the day, I’m just a bit of a bastard, which I plan to have as my epitaph.”
Some of this stuff isn’t as bad in context.
sorry that u were made aware of their existence- your life is now permanently slightly worse than if you never knew about them (srs)
IMNism: no longer a victimless crime.
IMNing: ur not just hurting yr own butt
IMNing: NOT EVEN ONCE
so.
Metal-Archives vs. ANUS
GO
ANUS would say there is no difference between stuffyouwillhate and metalarchives.
responded in that thread:
http://www.metal-archives.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=83275&start=22840
Haha I think you just got banned, bro.
i did.
can sum1 provide cliffnotes for whats going on now that i cant see anything?
IMN’s still don’t get it:
John_Sunlight: “Does Something You Will Hate care passionately about fighting the evils of metal elitism or do they advocate not taking music so seriously? There’s a growing disconnect between the stated purpose of the site and its community (as I understood it from the “about” section) and the statements of the site founder in the comments and others and the actions taken by the community in actively pursuing drama by signing up on the metal archives forum with the specific intention of harassing people and starting arguments about music.”
lol silly IMNs
This guy is butthurt beyond belief:
John_Sunlight: “I don’t really see the butthurt on the MA side. Someone from SYWH went through the trouble of writing a multipage essay on the evils of the metal archives of their own volition without any prodding, got some friends to come here and troll a bit, eventually came to troll himself, and has declared his passionate dedication to radically altering the way the metal archives userbase thinks about metal. Regardless of the fact that his perception of the views of the metal archives userbase is wildly offbase, all MAers have done is respond to direct prodding. From what I can tell, the MA community only became aware that they were being talked of by the SYWH community when some SYWHers came here with the intention of bothering people.
Based on this, I would assume that SYWH is a site like Encyclopedia Dramatica rather than how it is described on its about page and by the comments from the site founder on uppercut’s article. It’s hard to take him seriously when he says he’s against negativity and getting worked up over music when his site is pursuing those exact things.”
Angus not sufficiently peppered.
LMAO @ “radically alter our perception of metal” or w/e. Dat embarrassing moment when what you listen to involves a whole paradigm.
Yes i agree Metal Archives is horrible. But BRTH is even worse. I prefer to stay away from whiny bands.
Yeah I hate Bring Re The Horizon
Is Re some sort of special snowflake substitute pronoun for Me?
The band changed its name after having a “social justice awakening”, they didn’t want to offend anyone of any of the 473 currently recognized genders, as listed on the United Nations Tumblr for Human Rights.
The band is 1000% PC and they check their privelige before every show, much like a Chrisitan band prays before every show.
Holy shit I missed this comment first time around. Sheer brilliance, my good mr. Filth. Bravo!
Since you give no reasons of why metal archives is horrible, you’re a stupid cunt, metal archives is a great way to find reviews for bands, you’re probably just a butthurt cunt, whos crying because he read a negative review for some shitty scene band you consider metal.
this post actually ended up being kinda successful. ive never had nearly this many responses, even tho like half of them are negative.
h8rz make me famous
Because archiving metal bands is more important than losing your virginity before you’re 35.
Boom!
Butthurt fgts retalIatIng wIth theIr bIg words!
lookout guys, here comes the metle assmads!
Goddamn 221 comments n counting!
I must call Preparation H’s and Vagisil’s factories n order industrial costco/sam’s club-xxxxl-size creams for the ass itchings/hurtings and sand in people’s vaginas lolz
wish my first post on superior regionalism had this much of butthurtness to warrant this much of a response… uppercut i’m so jelly =P
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HAHAHAHAHA RETARD METALCORE FAGGOT
Poser Faggotcore
:)))) dude get a girlfriend. and fist of all BMTH is metalcore (which is not suported by Metal Archives)